The reason why I started this thread is because I am doing some soulsearching.
Since my birth I was never something what you can call "really emotional person". However life made sure that I lose additional warmth/innocence.
My familiy is a good example. They never did anything really wrong to me it is just that I am the only child in my entire family. What means that I am losing them one by one and it is 100% certain that I will lose my entire family with time. Basicly this is why I started investing in social skills since friendships are the only thing that that can prevent scenario in which I am left completly alone in this world. And the reason why I started to used logic from the OP is because I have to know how much time I have before I am left alone in this world. I mean if I don't find SO I will never have family again.
Basicly everybody in my family are looking at me in a way " He is the only one who will survive ". What left emotional consequences.
Plus I have years of "violent/strategic gaming" behind me.
Problem number 2 - I grow up in a country that was was scourged by war and genocide. What made me realize how much expandable people really are.
It is easy to debate questions of Ethics and existance of God and claim that we will never know that God exists or not. No matter if the the concept is somewhat ilogical.
But for me this is prettly much solved case since it is obvious that this stuff does not work. There is simply too many empirical evidance since a way too much destruction and killing has been done around me to believe in classic spiritual concepts. I mean churches got destroyed, all patients from one hospital were taken out in the field and shot, concentration camps were constructed etc. However nothing happeed to most people that did those bad thing. (if they did died iin the war)
Today many of them even have companies or work in law enforcment in the same country they were trying to destroy.
This not bad as a fact is just that this shows to me how relative everything is in this world actually is. As a Ni-dom this is simply something I can't overlook.
Problem number 3 - From the moment I am born I live under crappy governments. What resulted with a fact that I live in disfunctional environment and like everybody else I have bad education (no matter what writes on my papers)
Basicly I didn't even start to live and I am already half bankrupt. Basicly this entire global economic crisis has no real effect on me since I live like this since I was a baby. And to be honest I have concluded that entire current system will have too fall if I were to have a normal life. I simply see no alrenative.
Basicly I could say more but this is enough.
Problem number 4 - My professional scientific interest have led me too think that the world as we know it is pretty much doomed. Because of number of economical, ecological and geochemical reasons and to be honest i don't see how this can be changed.
In this thread you have the basic idea explained. The thread is not over but this is enought to get my point. There is plenty to read so who is interested be my guest.
Link
Now the question is how do I develop some idealism and I will call it "honest emotional fuzziness" or how do I become more emotonally sensitive towards people?
Any ideas ?
