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[MBTI General] How to deal with anti-rational, opinionated snobs?

tcda

psicobolche
Joined
Nov 17, 2009
Messages
1,292
MBTI Type
intp
Enneagram
5
So how do you deal with people who you have to get along with for practical reasons, but who are:
  • irrational (my family first and fuck the rest - somebody think of my children!);
  • ignorant, judgemental and opinionated to the point of absurdity ("I think feeding kids McDonalds is a form of child abuse"; "OMG your dad hasn't taught you how to drive!? That's a vital life skill! I consider that a form of child abuse!"; "You realize those chickens are fed in horriffic conditions, then frozen and flown over from China!"),
  • and horriffically snobbish ("OMG don't live in that area it's full of wierdos and criminals!"; or the fact that her little expensively educated brats rap to each other "you're ugly, you're a loser, your mum works at Macdonalds" :shock:)...

so yeh, we're talking about a new addition to my family via probable future marriage (not to me, haha)....so how do I avoid strangling this enfuriating bitch and her spoilt kids (who I don't blame as they are too young to really know what they're doing - they're just a product of their education)

EDIT: her MBTI type is ESFJ. This not my attempt to stereotype this type, as I know many who I like - it's just a fact.
 

Haphazard

Don't Judge Me!
Joined
Apr 14, 2008
Messages
6,704
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Actually, those chickens probably weren't flown over from China. China is complaining about cheap and probably unsafe chicken products imported from the United States.
 

tcda

psicobolche
Joined
Nov 17, 2009
Messages
1,292
MBTI Type
intp
Enneagram
5
Actually, those chickens probably weren't flown over from China. China is complaining about cheap and probably unsafe chicken products imported from the United States.

I wish I'd known when she said it...*makes a note*:D

I did however tell her, very politely, that I think that the mass production and transportation of food is a good thing.
 

teslashock

Geolectric
Joined
Oct 27, 2009
Messages
1,690
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
7w6
Just avoid interaction with them entirely, and when that's not possible, nod along politely.

I've never really had much success questioning people like that for their views. It'd be nice if you could have them contemplate the root of their own value systems, but most just don't care to do that. That's a huge part of the problem.
 

Shimmy

New member
Joined
Jun 9, 2009
Messages
1,867
MBTI Type
SEXY
Yeah, there's no point arguing with, or pushing your opinion on, an SJ. If I were you I'd just tell them straight that you're not interested in their opinion every time they say something you disagree with. Don't get annoyed or angry, just explain to them that you don't feel like arguing. If they give you shit for speaking your opinion, then just tell them you don't like talking to them this way and therefore will not do it to preserve the friendship/peace between the two of you.
 

Spamtar

Ghost Monkey Soul
Joined
Sep 1, 2009
Messages
4,468
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
Make them eat cat pooh.
 

Siúil a Rúin

when the colors fade
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
14,037
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
496
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
There isn't much point debating, since it would only escalate more of the same. If it is too frustrating to hear her opinions, minimize contact.

When there are tensions in family interactions, non-aggression based humor can help refocus everyone if it is possible to find a shared sense of humor. If you have any say over it, suggest watching a comedy movie together or something that discourages conversation when there are family get-togethers.
 

Valuable_Money

New member
Joined
Jun 19, 2009
Messages
679
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
5w6
So how do you deal with people who you have to get along with for practical reasons, but who are:
  • irrational (my family first and fuck the rest - somebody think of my children!);
  • ignorant, judgemental and opinionated to the point of absurdity ("I think feeding kids McDonalds is a form of child abuse"; "OMG your dad hasn't taught you how to drive!? That's a vital life skill! I consider that a form of child abuse!"; "You realize those chickens are fed in horriffic conditions, then frozen and flown over from China!"),
  • and horriffically snobbish ("OMG don't live in that area it's full of wierdos and criminals!"; or the fact that her little expensively educated brats rap to each other "you're ugly, you're a loser, your mum works at Macdonalds" :shock:)...

so yeh, we're talking about a new addition to my family via probable future marriage (not to me, haha)....so how do I avoid strangling this enfuriating bitch and her spoilt kids (who I don't blame as they are too young to really know what they're doing - they're just a product of their education)

EDIT: her MBTI type is ESFJ. This not my attempt to stereotype this type, as I know many who I like - it's just a fact.

The heavey use of the nonword OMG infuriates me.
 

Wiley45

New member
Joined
Mar 3, 2009
Messages
669
MBTI Type
INFP
Just avoid interaction with them entirely, and when that's not possible, nod along politely.

I've never really had much success questioning people like that for their views. It'd be nice if you could have them contemplate the root of their own value systems, but most just don't care to do that. That's a huge part of the problem.

+1.

I used to try to rationalize or argue with people like the one you mentioned, but it only made me frustrated. If they're not interested in listening, but only shoving opinions onto everyone else, it's useless to debate, and the best thing you can do is shut up and try to tune them out. They'll probably just assume you agree, anyway.
 

Mad Hatter

Head Pigeon
Joined
Nov 3, 2009
Messages
1,087
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
-1w
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Just avoid interaction with them entirely, and when that's not possible, nod along politely.

I've never really had much success questioning people like that for their views. It'd be nice if you could have them contemplate the root of their own value systems, but most just don't care to do that. That's a huge part of the problem.

That's what I would do, too. I've known such people for quite a long time (I don't know their type though), and avoiding each other is probably the best you can do, for each of you.

The underlined part is really a problem because I can almost always bring myself to at least some degree of understanding when I know the reasoning behind a certain opinion, even if I don't agree with it.

If you consider them irrational, don't expect a rational explanation, and don't try to tackle it that way :/ Maybe this book can help ;)(looks really interesting) - provided they even give you a chance to argue your own points, which could be a problem.

Btw, having such parents/relatives is child abuse.
 

1104

New member
Joined
Jan 17, 2010
Messages
67
MBTI Type
ENTP
considering you don't like her at all, i don't see the problem with telling her straight to shut up.
 

tcda

psicobolche
Joined
Nov 17, 2009
Messages
1,292
MBTI Type
intp
Enneagram
5
Btw, having such parents/relatives is child abuse.

:D Perfect comment.

considering you don't like her at all, i don't see the problem with telling her straight to shut up.

she's marrying into my family and I don't want to fall out with the eprson she's marrying, as we go back a long way and I generally like him. Still though I have calmed since I made this thread.
 

burymecloser

Member
Joined
Jan 31, 2010
Messages
516
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
6w5
Make them eat cat pooh.
Yeah, I was going to say the same thing.

Failing that, I would go with a strategy of avoidance. Don't spend time with her if you don't have to. If you do have to, talk to someone else. If all else fails, excuse yourself when she starts in on something you won't be able to have a civil conversation about.

The cat poo idea sounds better, though.
 

Jullian7

New member
Joined
Dec 13, 2009
Messages
2
MBTI Type
entp
Enneagram
7w8
Wow. You're angry. Is, "Well, you're wrong. I'm going to walk over here" out of the question?

I mean, if she's as stupidly ignorant as you imply, wouldn't the worst damage you could do be to let her continue on that way, in public? That in itself should give you a bit of joy.

If all else fails, get an I'm with stupid shirt and revel in it.
 

INTP

Active member
Joined
Jul 31, 2009
Messages
7,803
MBTI Type
intp
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx
argue with them until they go away
 

ajblaise

Minister of Propagandhi
Joined
Aug 3, 2008
Messages
7,914
MBTI Type
INTP
Make fun of them. If you're going to be so taxed by being around them, might as well enjoy that time.

It's like the solution to everything. :)
 
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