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[NT] ENTP/INTPs, come here. Now.

jenocyde

half mystic, half skeksis
Joined
Jan 2, 2009
Messages
6,387
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
7w8
Yeah, the thing is that sometimes when people make plans with you, they want to spend actual time with you. Or possibly they feel their own brand of guilt since they haven't reached out to you in a while. So when they arrange their day to accommodate you and you don't show up, it shows a serious lack of respect for them and their time. Essentially, it's like saying "I am more important than you and I can keep you waiting because my time is more valuable than yours."

I have a rule of thumb - if something involves 3 other people or more, chances are that I won't even be missed if I forget to show up. But if it's an intimately sized group, there were reasons for including me specifically and it's less "the more the merrier" and more of "I want to spend time with you specifically", so I am less apt to cancel. Basically, I figure out in advance if my absence will be noticed and/or felt.
 

entropie

Permabanned
Joined
Apr 24, 2008
Messages
16,767
MBTI Type
entp
Enneagram
783
I have a rule of thumb - if something involves 3 other people or more, chances are that I won't even be missed if I forget to show up. But if it's an intimately sized group, there were reasons for including me specifically and it's less "the more the merrier" and more of "I want to spend time with you specifically", so I am less apt to cancel. Basically, I figure out in advance if my absence will be noticed and/or felt.

Haha that's true :). I tend to meet with a group of very long friends regulary on thursday evenings to play cards or watch soccer and there are two people, who always show up. For the card game you need at least 3 people to play, so its always good to know in advance, if they will miss you or not if you decide this night you need to fly your spaceship on the computer and rather not go out :D
 
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