[INTP] INTP and being sentimental

[hilo]

I don't like just sitting around being sentimental.. but I like good memories and feelings connected with smells. I usually enjoy that when it happens. Is that Si?? For example, I was at the store and I sniffed the kind of cologne my ex used to wear and all of a sudden I got all these memories and feelings about what I was doing then and what I felt like and what I was thinking. I usually don't remember stuff very well, so it's cool when I do.

Smell and memory are strongly connected for everyone. What amazes me is when a smell (or sometimes a place/song) can bring back a memory that has been totally untouched for years, maybe a decade. It's always shocking - where has that been hiding? - kind of moment.

With objects, I can be sentimental when looking at them because they bring back memories, but if for some reason I'm thinking about holding on to them I remind myself of the big picture (can't take it with you when you die, etc) and I usually lose any need to hold on to them.

I do tend to collect little things during intense experiences (first parts of relationships, trips to new countries) because it's a way of prolonging the good feelings, but eventually these things lose context because (is this common?) I actually have a bad memory for events. Sometimes I can't remember really basic things like what year I took a trip or when the last time I saw my parents was. But I can tell you five phone numbers of people I haven't called in a decade or the mass of an electron.

 

[Salt n' pepper]

yes, like, he will use the same underwear for 2 weeks just because he's too sad to change them.

 

[ThinkingAboutIt]

So I was thinking about how much you think the introverted sensing has to do with INTPs having bouts of sentimental and melancholic moods.

I have them plenty, the older I get and I seem to attribute songs to different people in a melancholic way. Like for my deceased grandparents and when I listen to them the emotions stirs up in me and I enjoy it. I actually enjoy the feelings of melancholia more than I enjoy feelings in the present moment.

I understand this can be universally attributed to all types but I just want the INTPs view on this.

Hummm....

I usually listen to music to suit my mood. I use itunes and bluetooth the iphone in my car, so unexpected music doesn't really ever happen. If I am in a mood for something in particular, then I will listen to that. I am never in the mood for maudlin, and I do not like music intent on plucking my emotions overall (though some of my worship music does)...let's put it this way, out of my entire library, there is one sappy love song.

I do not think I am too sentimental. I will keep something someone made for me, or something special given to me which will have an emotional connection, but most of the time, I just keep things to remind me of that person, time, event, etc. because I will forget.

 

[ThinkingAboutIt]

yes, like, he will use the same underwear for 2 weeks just because he's too sad to change them.

I don't care what type you are, that is just WRONG!

 

[BlueGray]

I enjoy remembering the past but I don't feel attachment to any objects. I have the memories and can bring them about without giving myself more work.

 

[YoungGunz76]

I enjoy melanchonly but don't consider myself to be too sentimental.

 

[zoossii]

It's interesting that some of you say that you keep objects out of sentimentality. I try my best not to do that. I don't think I've ever enjoyed sentimentality, nostalgia, or melancholia. The smallest triggers can flood me with a whole slew of nostalgic or melancholic feelings and, perhaps since I'm still relatively young, I find it slightly hard to deal with them and so probably end up rationalizing away or ignoring the sentimental or melancholy feelings. This happens with both positive and negative memories.

Some of the times, when I am really sentimental, it's due to reflection and realization of false predictions.

I notice this about myself as well.

Fe inferior is messed up trick.

Perhaps it's also dominant Ti (as opposed to, say, Fi) and tertiary Si that are messing us up here...

 

[Moonstone3]

Smell and memory are strongly connected for everyone. What amazes me is when a smell (or sometimes a place/song) can bring back a memory that has been totally untouched for years, maybe a decade. It's always shocking - where has that been hiding? - kind of moment.


I do tend to collect little things during intense experiences (first parts of relationships, trips to new countries) because it's a way of prolonging the good feelings, but eventually these things lose context because (is this common?) I actually have a bad memory for events. Sometimes I can't remember really basic things like what year I took a trip or when the last time I saw my parents was. But I can tell you five phone numbers of people I haven't called in a decade or the mass of an electron.

I have a confession. I'm a hoarder, but most things get thrown into one room-that I don't use. I don't hoard trash either-that's gross.(just to clarify) I keep things because of my horrible memory. Which seems to be slightly what hilo has said here. Only I have a hard time throwing it away. I've heard people say 'throw everything into a box that you are thinking of tossing. If you forget about the box, throw it out.' That is pure hogwash to me! The whole reason I keep the box is because I forget what's in there!
As for nostalgia, melancholy...
I think INTPs would experience those emotions to analyze them;to see where they fit in the great scheme of things. It's like part of a puzzle.
There are times when I have thought that every emotion must be felt in order for it to be deemed useful or irrational. These times are rare, but I'm coming around to the idea...

 

[Spamtar]

My INFJ housekeeper/friend was telling me one too many times about his roommate who recently committed suicide and all his regrets that he didn't do more to stop him bla bla bla etc. This incessant rambling got me to finally shut him up after he was unable or unwilling to read my nonverbal tells with the cliché "tell it to someone who cares".

On the other hand let me watch a melodramatic Disney flick with an all too obvious pandering tear jerk and despite knowing what they are doing and despising the studios for it nevertheless the faucets get leaky.

 

[Such Irony]

I've always loved history, and I loved seeing stuff from my mother's childhood or high school days, so I always saved things that I thought were cool, sort of as artifacts. I figured my children or nieces or nephews might get a kick out of it someday. But a lot of that stuff doesn't necessarily have sentimental value.

I'm sentimental about my grandparents, who are gone. I made sure to keep a few things that represented things we did together. I didn't care so much about having "stuff" that didn't represent anything. So I guess it's situational.

I don't feel particularly attached to any of the objects I have. I have old photos, I look to at now and then, but I wouldn't necessarily consider that sentimental. It's more a case of being interested and intrigued by the past and how it compares to the present. Unlike some people I know, if I were to lose all my photos in say, a fire, I'd be mildly upset but I wouldn't be devastated by it.

I used to save artifacts when I was young but I rarely do that now. Where would I put it? And my interests change with time, so I may not necessarily find it as cool later on. I don't like being put in the awkward situation where my mom or grandma will give me some antique object that has sentimental value to them but not to me and there's this expectation to keep it to pass on to future generations.

I don't get a kick out of being melancholy or anything. If I feel negative emotions, I try to make them go away. Most of my strong F friends seem to get mired down in the negative feelings, and let them take hold for a while. That would drive me nuts.

I hate being melancholy too but I find that I tend to wallow in negative emotions for longer than I'd like. Once I get in a melancholy state, it tends to take me a while to pull me out of it.

I have some occasional sentimental memories or thoughts, but I don't keep objects for long. My parents kept my school yearbooks because I told them I was going to throw them away. The lack of attachment to objects and novelty only seems to increase with age. I quit watching TV entirely, in fact, I don't even own one.

I threw away my middle school yearbooks because I just want to wipe that time of my life away from my memory. It was not a pleasant time for me. I kept my high school yearbooks but I don't look at them anymore.

I very rarely watch TV and couldn't tell you most of the popular shows that people are watching now. I do own a TV that I mainly use for playing videos.

I have a confession. I'm a hoarder, but most things get thrown into one room-that I don't use. I don't hoard trash either-that's gross.(just to clarify) I keep things because of my horrible memory. Which seems to be slightly what hilo has said here. Only I have a hard time throwing it away. I've heard people say 'throw everything into a box that you are thinking of tossing. If you forget about the box, throw it out.' That is pure hogwash to me! The whole reason I keep the box is because I forget what's in there!

I used to somewhat of a hoarder when young, now I'm kind of the opposite. I don't holding onto anything that's not of use or sentimental value to me. It feels freeing to not be tied down by so many possessions. I think I have an easier time disposing of things than most people- maybe because I tend to be on the lower end of the sentimentality scale? Plus my residence has a more spacious feel, which I love.

As for nostalgia, melancholy...
I think INTPs would experience those emotions to analyze them;to see where they fit in the great scheme of things. It's like part of a puzzle.
There are times when I have thought that every emotion must be felt in order for it to be deemed useful or irrational. These times are rare, but I'm coming around to the idea...

Yeah, very true.



Some other thoughts:

I love many types of music but I don't relate to songs the way that many others do. I almost never get moved to tears by certain songs, nor do I have songs that I would call "my song" or "songs that really speak to me" or "songs that change my life". I guess what I'm looking for in music is more something with an interesting and catchy sound to it, something that sparks the imagination. I'm not all that interested in the lyrics.

I also rarely cry when watching sad movies or reading sad books. That's not to say I don't feel for the characters. I do, and often quite strongly. I think its more that I can easily separate fact from fiction.

 

[Stevo]

I had a sentimentality/nostalgia attack yesterday in the shower, when I started reminiscing about my time in a jazz combo. I ended up just standing there for ten minutes, thinking about times gone by. It was interesting.