[ENTP] Ask an ENTP!

[Winds of Thor]

If an ENTP during dating expressed that he too wasn't interested in cohabiting or getting married, why would he suddenly change his mind in a relationship and decide it's the most goddamn important issue and that he wants/needs to cohabitate?

Because his heart and mind align and he's ready to build the foundation of life with his woman and recreate what he was designed to.

 

[rav3n]

Because his heart and mind align and he's ready to build the foundation of life with his woman and recreate what he was designed to.

In the first month?

 

[Winds of Thor]

Wow

Maybe that's his enthusiasm getting ahead of him. I'm not sure.

 

[Winds of Thor]

I don't usually talk about this kinda stuff but I have a hunch...Is he being very sexual? That might be his drive getting ahead of him.

 

[rav3n]

We had a lot of chemistry where within the latter part of the first month together it suddenly became a big issue and remained one. But he knew I wasn't interested in ever cohabiting or getting married again the night we met through friends, where I expressed it again after that, where he too agreed that's what he wanted in life. I can't understand how someone could 180 like that so quickly. Might be understandable after years of being together with no progress but why so soon? His only explanation was that he loved and wanted to be with me. This makes no sense from an NT perspective.

 

[Winds of Thor]

We had a lot of chemistry where within the latter part of the first month together it suddenly became a big issue and remained one. But he knew I wasn't interested in ever cohabiting or getting married again the night we met through friends, where I expressed it again after that, where he too agreed that's what he wanted in life. I can't understand how someone could 180 like that so quickly. Might be understandable after years of being together with no progress but why so soon? His only explanation was that he loved and wanted to be with me. This makes no sense from an NT perspective.

Ohh wow yeah that's rough. Well I don't really know. I mean it could be that at heart he's left his ENTPdom and has fallen deep and is only seeing with his heart. I don't know him of course.

We can be really very loyal. I would go so far to say that ENTPs might define loyalty, moreso than any other type. Committment can run DEEP. It's scary even, because it's a knowing inside of a depth of loyalty and the thought that if the other person breaks it off, it's going to cut and be extremely hurtful.

Most don't know that and might not think it about ENTPs, I believe because we seem so bold and impenetrable. But inside could be, from your man, a kind of change of heart like this. I do not know. I'm just saying this is possible.

 

[rav3n]

Ohh wow yeah that's rough. Well I don't really know. I mean it could be that at heart he's left his ENTPdom and has fallen deep and is only seeing with his heart. I don't know him of course.

We can be really very loyal. I would go so far to say that ENTPs might define loyalty, moreso than any other type. Committment can run DEEP. It's scary even, because it's a knowing inside of a depth of loyalty and the thought that if the other person breaks it off, it's going to cut and be extremely hurtful.

Most don't know that and might not think it about ENTPs, I believe because we seem so bold and impenetrable. But inside could be, from your man, a kind of change of heart like this. I do not know. I'm just saying this is possible.

Thanks. You've given me some things to consider.

 

[Kasper]

If an ENTP during dating expressed that he too wasn't interested in cohabiting or getting married, why would he suddenly change his mind in a relationship and decide it's the most goddamn important issue and that he wants/needs to cohabitate?

Something's wrong, PANIC!

Nah, because something has cemented something previously wide open would be my take. It now makes sense to him.

ETA: Wrote that before seeing the one month time frame, it's still my answer, but with a change that quickly he's not rationalising things, what he feels right now is the truth, but as things shift so to can his view. Maybe this is "it" for him, I expect he feels that way, but I wonder if even he questions if he can remain this solidified in his view.

We can be deeply passionate in the moment when it feels right, everything can seem to slot into perfect alignment and we want to delve into an experience with everything we have, but holding that feeling is the tough part. If he still says the same when his head leads the way then it has true depth.

 

[rav3n]

Thanks for your response, Kasper.

Maybe this is "it" for him, I expect he feels that way, but I wonder if even he questions if he can remain this solidified in his view.

I questioned it. Way too much, way too soon. So not logical.

We can be deeply passionate in the moment when it feels right, everything can seem to slot into perfect alignment and we want to delve into an experience with everything we have, but holding that feeling is the tough part. If he still says the same when his head leads the way then it has true depth.

This is the part that's difficult. The balance between his feelings and my needs for autonomy. I've lost the need for security in relationships beyond exclusivity for practical reasons and sexual values. The 'forever after' part is something that I no longer believe in, not so much cynicism but pragmatically, as well as peering into what personally drives me as a serial monogamist.

 

[Istbkleta]

http://www.drjudithorloff.com/Free-Articles/How-Senior-Managers-Think.pdf

 

[Winds of Thor]

...I questioned it. Way too much, way too soon. So not logical.

This is the part that's difficult. The balance between his feelings and my needs for autonomy. I've lost the need for security in relationships beyond exclusivity for practical reasons and sexual values. The 'forever after' part is something that I no longer believe in, not so much cynicism but pragmatically, as well as peering into what personally drives me as a serial monogamist.

You need to remember that ENTPs can be all kinds of awesome. Humbly stated as possible - for reference here in helping [MENTION=10808]andante[/MENTION]. Meaning, we are so interested in everything...and really can be good at just about..doing almost anything..that you need to know that he may be in a phase of enthusiasm wanting to learn about you..and being very aggressive with that. And adding what [MENTION=4324]Kasper[/MENTION] said, notice if his intent remains and certainly if it aligns in accordance with his thoughts about the relationship-over time- that's a scenario which points to strong indication of longevity.

Translation: Observe over time to see what he's about. We're so complex that's one way to get a grasp on what's going on inside of him without calling him on those things.

Or, call him on it..just attach pictures of his face to your post after



P.S. Sorry if this post seems cocky..just needed to be said.

 

[The Great One]

i still dont understand what romance means to Fe's, especially to entp's who are rather rebellious with their Fe always forging a new path.

environmental factors play a role in relation to your personality and its growth, for example i made a promise to myself at age of 8 which ive kept my whole life. that was, to be a good person, and such life lasting devotion as this may come in huge variety and what choices are semi unrelated to your personality. as well, it were the environmental factors which caused me to make this promise to myself.

those factors were: other kids never seemed to get bored to the repetition of their activities, which made me grew mature at faster pace as id have much more time left for pondering while other kids were and still to this day my age generation is significantly behind myself, which explains why i rarely find anything in common with them apart from physical age.

even those of same personalities are only to be expected to be different from one another, while sharing much same preference in deeper level. like istp's might think they are different to another one but we intuitives can see the deeper relation between istp actresses and istp car mechanics for example.

as do i too strive for the optimized state in everything too, the search of infinite growth. however, i see its merely an illusion caused by the fact how impossible it is to maintain a perfect state for something which is dynamic. and that, is human brain which renews itself rather plentiful of times in our lives.

its possible to define perfect, by saying its the state where settings in brains are maximized to the individuals preferences according to what is physically possible. as such, i would consider the perfect state where the paradox of growth and destruction is maintained perfectly without flaws, which exists in the first place for us to cope with a dynamic environment called life.

i know what Fe romance is to those with Se rather than Ne preference, but it baffles me how an Ne with Fe would cope with the heavily Se dominated romance field while still having no choice but to share said Fe with them. (like what you do to make the romance interesting without excess use of surfacial feature obsessing like fetishes, or sensation obsessing as you mentioned, betrayal is the most frequent of Se + Fe when looking at statistics. what kind of solutions you invent to these, and you teach your solutions to other Fe users?)

im also fully aware of the AAAA + BABB combinations tendency to repair flaws caused by the life paradox of the other individuals, creating a perfect balance.
my second favourite paradox might be, however i only poses few encounters myself with, is AAAA + ABAA, which can create a perfect flawless energizer paradox like enfp + esfp as long as both are mature enough to love their 4th function. in this for example, both wants to talk forever as it energizes them, and as it happens, the other person is a perfect conversation match who absolutely loves everything you say, do and express, not to mention the flawless communication and the paradox of infinite fountain of energy source this combination causes. especially if both are fluent in self expression, it can have only two ways this combination ends: time ran out in the external world, too bad. or if not that, then an atomic explosion of human energy. or sleep deprivation, horrible headache to both for being too energetic after talking 30+ hours nonstop. (better than crack, but crack is safer.) i would recommend to keep a health check when encountering this combination! its only dangerous to your health. but so sweet. oh so sweet.. sweet cider. mhh sweet cider... you dont want to know where cider is made.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cakkDjbBKmg&feature=my_liked_videos&list=LLSqflNYiSw30n5cATFX4VTA

i betetr stop writing before ive written a novel =S...

do you believe entp + infj is the _______ couple, perhaps you were made to reform Fe of societies for both Ne and Se Fe users? (forgot the word, the whatever word used to describe people who form the new standards at some specific area. for example, i held and constructed a russian music show in one radio which was a new concept to this radio channel, to have foreign music shows. and they called me with that word for doing so. whatever the word is.. -.- hate it when this happens.)

could you for example describe what elements the best romance/romantic moments requires to be called the best?


also i have one another question to add onto the pile of these ones: what is the purpose of life? (no 42's, be original here.)



it would bear truth if T section was replaced with that of an F.
and btw, its not nice being blind to istj predators, saying from experience. and not to mention sensors who attack me physically without any reason.

if i see no point in abusing others in any form, its easy to forget others might not be smart enough to reach the same conclusion.. (i have to remind myself every day that our specie is messed up so as to not forget it.)

How. How can you continually write responses this long? LMAO it makes no sense to me.

 

[Vilku]

How. How can you continually write responses this long? LMAO it makes no sense to me.

its something i struggle with, to write less that is.. I SUDDEECCED!!!111 =D.. YAY! ^_^
well i could still venture into explaining in detail WHYY.. what causess it and.. yeah, and writea few thousand words by doing so. but id rather sleep, this time.

EDIT: maybe it was just the e1 in me, still uncertain which is my real body triad primary, 9 or 1 as i can easily swap between. and um, it tendss to leak out if you knoww what to look for.. after deciphering mbti type, target finding the real motivation what makes them different from every other person of the same mbti. (people with triad 1 leading body section, tend to struggle finishing what they started.)

 

[EcK]

that's how we get rid of them. One balloon at a time.

 

[EcK]

that's how we get rid of them. One balloon at a time.

 

[A window to the soul]

Awesome!

 

[Winds of Thor]

I questioned it. Way too much, way too soon. So not logical.

This is the part that's difficult. The balance between his feelings and my needs for autonomy. I've lost the need for security in relationships beyond exclusivity for practical reasons and sexual values. The 'forever after' part is something that I no longer believe in, not so much cynicism but pragmatically, as well as peering into what personally drives me as a serial monogamist.

I wondered if your bf's approach is from a concern and approach might be in another way to the relationship than yours has been..

@rep,
In other words, your boyfriend might be using his Ne and Ti to find out or discover, at least in himself, if your relationship is a 'go' for life. I mean, I as an ENTP could understand exploring ideas with a woman I'm interested in through approaching things different ways with her and passing different ideas by her. And by how she feels about different things, learning if enough things about the relationship align with what is needed to make sense for a marriage and to give it my all. And this would take time and doing different things together. I could see an ENTP's approach in a relationship like that. I'm not saying it's a good idea for your relationship. That would be something you might be able to know. I would be sure that would be an important thing to discuss in a relationship.

 

[rav3n]

I wondered if your bf's approach is perhaps a concern in another way...

@rep,

In other words, your boyfriend might be using his Ne and Ti to find out or discover, at least in himself, if your relationship is a 'go' for life. I mean, I as an ENTP could understand exploring ideas with a woman I'm interested in through approaching things different ways with her and passing different ideas by her. And by her reactions, learning if enough things about the relationship align with what needs to make sense for a marriage and to give it my all. And this would take time. I could see an ENTP's approach in a relationship like that. I'm not saying it's a good idea, either because it might feel like jerked around or confusing.

As an FYI, my rep was a joke.

Since I expressed disinterest more than once with cohabiting or marriage of which he agreed, why would he need to test this over and over and over again, in nagging fashion?

 

[Winds of Thor]

I think you should talk about this with him. And not me and I don't feel it's cool it was a joke. If it were a joke I wouldn't be spending my efforts and focusing putting significant thought into this for you here. Good luck.

 

[rav3n]

I think you should talk bout this with him. Also I don't feel it's cool it's a joke. If it were a joke I wouldn't be spending my efforts and focusing putting significant thought into this for you here. Good luck.

The joke was about how many times you mentioned how awesome ENTPs are, which is the point I "didn't" get.