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[ENTP] Ask an ENTP!

Kasper

Diabolical
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May 30, 2008
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Its weird because when I get asked these probing questions by ENTPs, I answer them and afterwards feel curious about the reason for it because I don't get direct feedback. You can sense the cogs turning in their head and I wonder what sort of picture are they are building of me.

Ask, it's likely they'll be willing to explain at least part of what the Q&A linked to in their mind. Every answer or lack there of tells us something and re-shifts our perspective, Ne moves the image each time you tell us something new.
 

jenocyde

half mystic, half skeksis
Joined
Jan 2, 2009
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Are ENTPs very opinionated and close-minded when they are young/immature?

I can appear to be fussy to someone who doesn't know me. I usually try everything once or twice and am pretty open. But some things, well, I think about them. And I poke that image of it in my head from all angles - sometimes for months. Then once I make up my mind, it normally can't be changed. I've thought way too much about it and I know your arguments already.

You don't need to actually smoke the crack to know it's not for you.

Oatmeal may have simply looked unappealing. So your friend thought about it, may have smelled it and seen it and even imagined what it tasted like. Not interested. As a show of good faith, a bite was taken - and with that, the conclusion was confirmed. And even though the conclusion was already 99% there, there was still a certain amount of open mindedness to allow that one bite.

How do ENTPs go about that whole characteristic behaviour of prodding and testing of people or intentionally creating conflict?

What the others have said.

Also, sometimes weight is assigned where there is none. I got yelled at for "grilling" someone on their dietary habits. I was told that I was making my friend uncomfortable, as if I was judging her choices and therefore judging her.

I was just trying to plan dinner.
 

Tamske

Writing...
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Oct 22, 2009
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1,764
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ENTP
This testing or probing of people... I don't do that, at least not consciously. I'd analyse things, I'd ask about motivations or tell about some ideas ("I think you do that because...") but there's never the intention of pushing the other person's buttons. I tend to forget people aren't as curious and analytical about such things as I am.
 

onemoretime

Dreaming the life
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Jun 29, 2009
Messages
4,455
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3h50
I've got to remind myself to slow down a bit whenever I get into the interrogator mode. It's usually not out of malice, but I do know how it can seem harsh. Of course, that's what makes trial work fun!
 
A

Anew Leaf

Guest
I kind of like the "interrogator" quality with ENTPs I meet... at least at first... eventually though it becomes sensory overload for me and I think, OMG can't we just move onto something else for the love of god?

So maybe a question could be, Would a "safety word" work with you guys? Where if I say it, you have to cease and desist asking questions?

I tried it with my ex and it was actually quite amusing to watch him squirm and TRY so hard to behave, but I could see the wheels turning franticaly.
 

lunalum

Super Senior Member
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I kind of like the "interrogator" quality with ENTPs I meet... at least at first... eventually though it becomes sensory overload for me and I think, OMG can't we just move onto something else for the love of god?

Ahhh, the "interrogator" quality.... is this what is meant by the testing/prodding of people? Drat.... I'm just hopelessly addicted to asking questions about everything, and people are no exception. I'm usually really careful not to be too nosy about stuff, but I will slip up on occasion and then I probably end up with the 'annoying' stamp :dry:

So maybe a question could be, Would a "safety word" work with you guys? Where if I say it, you have to cease and desist asking questions?

:laugh: A simple *poke poke* "you're doing that questioning thing again" is probably sufficient to snap us out of it. But yes, don't expect it to be easy for us to suddenly cease and desist. The squirming, wheels turning, and "butbutbut, there's just this one more thing..." are perfectly natural, and sadly other than letting us carry on I don't know the cure for it yet....
 

Yussa Tampon

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Mar 25, 2011
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42
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entp
I can recall the last time I gunned down someone with questions,

Me: "so, where did you go to college at?"
Victim: "I studied in Ind-"
Me: "India? interesting! what'd you major in?"
Victim: "uh, Mechanical Engineering."
Me: "So what part of India exactly did you grow up in?"
Victim: "Chennai..."
Me: "What was it like living there???"
Victim: "Life was good..."
Me:*he's awfully quick to answer; is he hiding something? He must be!* "What exactly are you trying to hide!?"
Victim: :huh:
Me::steam:
Victim::cry:

Most of the time people think I'm intentionally trying to mess with them, yet nothing could be farther from the truth. There are just some things I'm interested in knowing, tis' all. :shrug:

So maybe a question could be, Would a "safety word" work with you guys? Where if I say it, you have to cease and desist asking questions?

Oh, it would work! We might forget the safety word sometimes, though.
 
A

Anew Leaf

Guest
Ahhh, the "interrogator" quality.... is this what is meant by the testing/prodding of people? Drat.... I'm just hopelessly addicted to asking questions about everything, and people are no exception. I'm usually really careful not to be too nosy about stuff, but I will slip up on occasion and then I probably end up with the 'annoying' stamp :dry:



:laugh: A simple *poke poke* "you're doing that questioning thing again" is probably sufficient to snap us out of it. But yes, don't expect it to be easy for us to suddenly cease and desist. The squirming, wheels turning, and "butbutbut, there's just this one more thing..." are perfectly natural, and sadly other than letting us carry on I don't know the cure for it yet....

Haha! Well, that insatiable curiosity is VERY attractive about NTPs in general... however, there is a line. It's like you guys (gender neutral) put your blinders on and are oblivious that no one else wants to play this game.

Two of my best friends are married to each other. He's an ENTP and she's an InTJ (thought she was F but just recently had an epiphany, go me!). Anyways, it is hilarious to watch them together when he's in full on ENTP information gathering mode. He will say anything and everything to gather info... and she will usually not be in the mood for this sort of thing. (Something about having 2 small children and a job as a nurse practioner might have a tiny bit to do with it.) One of my favorite exchanges was this one, before they got married:

ENTP: So what do nurses do exactly?
INTJ: You're kidding right. They heal people.
ENTP: How do they heal people?
INTJ: Magic powers.
ENTP: What kind of nurse are you going to be?
INTJ: Practioner
ENTP: What's that?
INTJ: OK I'm done here, we have an audience....
ENTP: Well, What kind of nurse is an RN?
INTJ: *sigh* RN is Registered Nurse.
ENTP: OK, and you aren't an RN.... hmmm.... What type puts on that little outfit and dances in your lap for $5?


Good times! :)
 

funkadelik

good hair
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Jan 10, 2011
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lmao
ENTP: So what do nurses do exactly?
INTJ: You're kidding right. They heal people.
ENTP: How do they heal people?
INTJ: Magic powers.
ENTP: What kind of nurse are you going to be?
INTJ: Practioner
ENTP: What's that?
INTJ: OK I'm done here, we have an audience....
ENTP: Well, What kind of nurse is an RN?
INTJ: *sigh* RN is Registered Nurse.
ENTP: OK, and you aren't an RN.... hmmm.... What type puts on that little outfit and dances in your lap for $5?

This seems eerily familiar. :laugh:

You should hear me whenever I go to the doctor.

- What's that? What exactly does this do?
- [while getting an ultrasound on my hands]: why do you have a box of condoms in your office? If they're here to get an ultrasound of their baby, why do you need to be handing out condoms? Why is this a scent-sensitive area? [pointing to the ultrasound screen] Does that image mean anything to you?
- [while getting an MRI]: how much energy does it take to operate that big magnet? Have you every gotten an MRI? Is that, like, standard procedure for any doctor operating an MRI machine? Why do they call it MRI "dye" when it's not at all coloured? How does it change the image? What is it made of?
- [while getting blood taken]: what's the gel in the bottom of that tube do? Have you ever not taken that rubber band thing off in time and had blood spurt out of the person's veins all over the place? Is it more difficult to find veins in people with darker skin?

And on and on and on. And that's just when I go to the doctor...
 

Tamske

Writing...
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Oct 22, 2009
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ENTP
^ Heh. I was asking the nurse what frequency the ultrasound used, if the jelly was needed to conduct the waves etc... I was preparing lessons about waves right then!
 

Southern Kross

Away with the fairies
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Dec 22, 2008
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I think the ENTP interrogator quality is rather awesome actually. The questions are rarely run of the mill and often thought provoking and they produce interesting discussions. I've yet to find such questions intrusive because its very apparent that they're driven by genuine, intense curiosity and you guys tend to ask in such a non-judgmental manner - and these are things I really appreciate. :)
 

onemoretime

Dreaming the life
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A classic example of the Fe-Te gap.

ENTP: So what do nurses do exactly? Trying to make conversation

INTJ: You're kidding right. They heal people. Thinks he should know this already, and probably explained what exactly she would be up to, or expects that he would research it already. Doesn't have a clue that he's just making conversation.

ENTP: How do they heal people? Trying to restate the question to get the other person to understand what's being asked

INTJ: Magic powers. Now thinks he's just being stupid to piss her off

ENTP: What kind of nurse are you going to be? Still trying to make conversation, growing more annoyed

INTJ: Practioner Still doesn't get what's going on here

ENTP: What's that? Not getting that she's not going to talk

INTJ: OK I'm done here, we have an audience.... Through with the nonsense

ENTP: Well, What kind of nurse is an RN? One last stab at it...

INTJ: *sigh* RN is Registered Nurse. Doesn't realize that she just fucked up, bad

ENTP: OK, and you aren't an RN.... hmmm.... What type puts on that little outfit and dances in your lap for $5? Now, he's going to start pissing her off. She's going to interact with him, even if she doesn't want to. She's his wife, after all. Even a fight's better than being ignored.

Those two really need to learn how to communicate with each other better.
 
A

Anew Leaf

Guest
A classic example of the Fe-Te gap.



Those two really need to learn how to communicate with each other better.

haha, yeah it's fun to watch most of the time. They actually have a very good bond, but there are definitely gaps like you noted between them.

I find that I get along with ENTPs very well since there is that whole Ne-NE thing - so I try to diffuse the situation by taking her side, and then going on a side trip with him into Ne-land. (Hos before Bros.)

That last part about the lap dance nurse was actually his attempt at making a joke to make her laugh, but not realizing she was getting really annoyed with him. I found it hilarious.
 

onemoretime

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haha, yeah it's fun to watch most of the time. They actually have a very good bond, but there are definitely gaps like you noted between them.

I find that I get along with ENTPs very well since there is that whole Ne-NE thing - so I try to diffuse the situation by taking her side, and then going on a side trip with him into Ne-land. (Hos before Bros.)

Don't do that. It will eventually backfire on you. You can be on her side in private, but in public, it looks like favoritism. I promise you, he's noticed the trend, and probably resents it in some way. He's just too nice to inform you of this. That will likely change someday if you don't rack up some points in the "his side" column. When he does inform you, it will be ugly. Just trust me on this one.

That last part about the lap dance nurse was actually his attempt at making a joke to make her laugh, but not realizing she was getting really annoyed with him. I found it hilarious.

It may have been funny, but it was specifically intended to belittle her and her choice of profession. That's how Fe works, after all - it's subtle like that. Look again at what he said, really closely: he said that because she's not an RN, she must be a stripper. From an Ne perspective, that looks rather innocent and humorous. Bring Fe into the equation, and you understand that it wasn't nice - he was specifically saying that to diminish what he saw as her arrogance.

We're in the interpersonal world, so you'll identify with her because of your shared Fi. So if you want to understand what's going on, you have to imagine yourself as the target of the comment. Chances are, you're not going to like it so much after that.
 
A

A window to the soul

Guest
It may have been funny, but it was specifically intended to belittle her and her choice of profession. That's how Fe works, after all - it's subtle like that. Look again at what he said, really closely: he said that because she's not an RN, she must be a stripper. From an Ne perspective, that looks rather innocent and humorous. Bring Fe into the equation, and you understand that it wasn't nice - he was specifically saying that to diminish what he saw as her arrogance.

I agree with everything you said accept ^that^; it's a stretch to say that his intentions were to belittle her (his wife) and her choice of profession? An ENTP not supporting their spouse's professional dreams? I can imagine myself joking around because my spouse wasn't in the mood to talk, but not intending to belittle them. That's kiddie stuff! Maybe assuming she's arrogant and belittling her is a male ego thing? :tongue:

I would joke around to divert attention away from the frustrations I created from all of the badgering. One laugh and we're back on track. That, I would do !! That's the bright-side of Fe!

There's more to the story than what we know.
 

onemoretime

Dreaming the life
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I agree with everything you said accept ^that^; it's a stretch to say that his intentions were to belittle her, don't you think? I can imagine myself in the same situation, saying something similar, but not intending to belittle. Maybe it's a male ego thing? :tongue:

He went straight to "stripper" - i.e. he was trying to devalue her status through the comment. Even if it didn't seem hostile, the implication was that "you're no better than a stripper." He thought she was acting arrogant and superior, and this was a way of poking at that, and being able to defray criticism through claiming it was a joke.

If he wanted to make a harmless sexual joke, he could have said "do they still give you the nurse's hat and outfit? That would be hot in the bedroom." In that case, the hidden, implied message is "I think it's sexy that you're becoming a nurse." Compare that to "oh, you're not an RN, so you're just like a stripper."

Yes, male ENTPs do this kind of crap all the time. Usually, they don't even notice what they're doing, because they're so used to belittling others through humor. Thus, "the prick."

I would do it to divert attention away from the frustrations I created. One laugh and we're back on track. That's the bright-side of Fe!

Nothing wrong with humor to defuse tension. However, it's one of those where you're laughing at the person instead of with the person.

It's likely that the joke arose because he felt hurt by his wife not wanting to engage with him, and instead of saying something about it (in the presence of company), he'd rather take a subtle jab at her through humor to make himself feel better.
 
A

A window to the soul

Guest
He went straight to "stripper" - i.e. he was trying to devalue her status through the comment. Even if it didn't seem hostile, the implication was that "you're no better than a stripper." He thought she was acting arrogant and superior, and this was a way of poking at that, and being able to defray criticism through claiming it was a joke.

If he wanted to make a harmless sexual joke, he could have said "do they still give you the nurse's hat and outfit? That would be hot in the bedroom." In that case, the hidden, implied message is "I think it's sexy that you're becoming a nurse." Compare that to "oh, you're not an RN, so you're just like a stripper."

Yes, male ENTPs do this kind of crap all the time. Usually, they don't even notice what they're doing, because they're so used to belittling others through humor. Thus, "the prick."

Nothing wrong with humor to defuse tension. However, it's one of those where you're laughing at the person instead of with the person.

It's likely that the joke arose because he felt hurt by his wife not wanting to engage with him, and instead of saying something about it (in the presence of company), he'd rather take a subtle jab at her through humor to make himself feel better.

Dang, I tweaked my post! :D

I hear you. How do you 'know' he thought she was acting arrogant and superior? This is his sweet wittle wifey. Please read my tweaked post (above) too. What he said, which I don't see as bad, wouldn't offend me. I would have to hear the tone.
 

lunalum

Super Senior Member
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Dec 20, 2008
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Yes, male ENTPs do this kind of crap all the time. Usually, they don't even notice what they're doing, because they're so used to belittling others through humor. Thus, "the prick."

It's likely that the joke arose because he felt hurt by his wife not wanting to engage with him, and instead of saying something about it (in the presence of company), he'd rather take a subtle jab at her through humor to make himself feel better.

Yes, the belittling could be the intention here, but it is kind of a stretch to say that from that one comment. It seems just as likely that the ENTP here is desperate to get a real response from the INTJ, and so is provoking a reaction through an irreverent, unexpected question.

Also, a clarification here, Saturned states that this dialogue happened sometime before these two got married, so that might make a difference here.

Only playful questioning/provoking, or belittling RNs? It's not very clear one way or the other....
 
A

A window to the soul

Guest
That last part about the lap dance nurse was actually his attempt at making a joke to make her laugh, but not realizing she was getting really annoyed with him. I found it hilarious.

Saturned, Onemoretime made a great argument, but I believe there's more to it than all of us know. I say that so you understand that we're just throwing out ideas. So though what Onemoretime is saying may be very true, please don't go back to your girlfriend and pollute her mind with this stuff that might cause conflict between her & her husband. We are all different. It's true that some ENTP's are more childish than others. I like that you're giving her husband the benefit of the doubt in this situation (and communicating positive things to her, assuming you are) because we don't know his intentions. Despite momentary childishness that leads one to wonder "what the heck", I think it's safe to say that his greater goals include getting along with his wife and seeing her happy.
 
A

A window to the soul

Guest
Also, a clarification here, Saturned states that this dialogue happened sometime before these two got married, so that might make a difference here.

Dating is usually as good as it gets; as far as, how well people get along. From what I understand, it's when most people try to put their best foot forward. This supports my theory that he was trying to make her laugh after he badgered her (and it was not a crude jab). I know there are other considerations, like how long were they dating at that point? Did they get along? etc.

Also, I want to say again, that I think the "puts on the little outfit and dances in your lap" question was an awesome recovery!! I did not interpret it as demeaning.
 
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