[ENTP] Ask an ENTP!

[lane777]

You're the only ENTP I've come across whose said so. Very encouraging So please don't go changing your type

Do you know your Enneagram?

 

[entropie]

I am not too good with it, but the tests I did, backed up by skylights opinion on this forum gave me a 7w6

 

[lane777]

Figures. Would be interesting to see what 7w8's have to say on the matter...

 

[Kasper]

ENTP's often end relationships out of sheer boredom with their partner. How do you combat this tendency? Or don't you experience this problem at all?

Ending a relationship out of boredom doesn't ring true to me, ending it because of lack of growth would be closer to the truth but is a very different way of seeing things, and naturally that would require an attempt on the ENTPs behalf to move forward and resistance from the other partner. Relationships need constant growth and development.

Figures. Would be interesting to see what 7w8's have to say on the matter...

I agree with entropie, my history is very different to his though, I have ended all of my relationships because I could see that I was unable to be the person they wanted me to be and therefore the relationship was surface and doomed. I have never callously dumped someone, and I have never felt good about ending things but when I was younger I certainly didn't do things the right way.

 

[A window to the soul]

ENTP's often end relationships out of sheer boredom with their partner. How do you combat this tendency? Or don't you experience this problem at all? I hope you don't consider my asking terribly innappropriate or offensive.

I don't know if it's boredom. I haven't totally figured it out yet. I guess I don't feel much of any emotions as far as the relationship is concerned when it happens, which may be the root cause or the contributing factor. My eyes focus in on the horizon and I can hardly wait to see what's up ahead. So I'll tell you that you're welcome to come with me, but I can see you're so complacent here. No, it's not a game.

Those are my old ways. I think. Is there a bored ENTP support group around here??

 

[Qre:us]

ENTP's often end relationships out of sheer boredom with their partner.

No, ENTPs often do not. It's a gross stereotype.

Or don't you experience this problem at all?

Not really. Ending relationships were more likely motivated by my feeling constricted, as if in a steel box, while I continued to expand and grow, but the box wasn't malleable with me, thus, it was trapping, suffocating, me.

I know how to make "boring" stuff NOT boring, if I care enough (and if I've committed to a relationship, that means I care enough). Making boring stuff not boring is a fun challenge for me. So, "boring" is not the issue.

It's the lack of growth, lack of challenge, to the point of feeling like I'm being constricted. Like the person is slowly draining me dry. It's, in a way, painful, thus, I escape/avoid. Boring - I meet head-on.

(I am pretty quick to know which personalities/types of people, would not be compatible with my way of being, long-term, so "boring" doesn't really become an issue of a character trait in the other, but an external state of being between us/the moment, thus, easily changeable, if we both are willing)

I hope you don't consider my asking terribly innappropriate or offensive.

Nah, it gives us an opportunity to break down stereotypes, one at a time.

I'm 7w8

 

[Qre:us]

Come on now, let's be real. Many Ne-dom's by their very nature are moving on to bigger and better things as we speak. What do relationships offer us? Routine? Commitment? It's no surprise that ENTP's as a whole have earned that stereotype. Don't you think the junior level ENTP is going to be pretty dang flakey until their Auxiliary and Inferior functions become more developed over time? For Ne, isn't the chase the prize? I'll be long gone before it gets too serious.

If we're representing the average ENTP, then, statistically speaking, those less than or equal to, mid-twenties, are much less representative of the proportion of ENTPs out there, than the rest.

As such, what you say above, as you pointed out, is likely a "junior ENTP" phenomenon, until they get more skilled with using their other functions, and not a slave to their NE. So, speaking of the general ENTP, I would wager it is NOT APPLICABLE.

You in your teens or early twenties, I'm guessing? The flippancy will not seem so "cool" anymore.

Edit, to add: and that's not even taking into consideration the confounding effect of those in that age-range having much less of a likelihood of having experience in serious relationships, in the first place.

 

[A window to the soul]

No, ENTPs often do not. It's a gross stereotype.

Come on now, let's be real. Many Ne-dom's by their very nature are moving on to bigger and better things as we speak. What do relationships offer us? Routine? Commitment? It's no surprise that ENTP's as a whole have earned that stereotype. Don't you think the junior level ENTP is going to be pretty dang flakey until their Tertiary and Inferior functions become more developed over time? For Ne, isn't the chase the prize? The chase being the challenge, being the interesting part. I'll be long gone before it gets too serious and becomes routine. That's not a game, as I mentioned before, so boredom is starting to make more and more sense to me.

If we're representing the average ENTP, then, statistically speaking, those less than or equal to, mid-twenties, are much less representative of the proportion of ENTPs out there, than the rest.

As such, what you say above, as you pointed out, is likely a "junior ENTP" phenomenon, until they get more skilled with using their other functions, and not a slave to their NE. So, speaking of the general ENTP, I would wager it is NOT APPLICABLE.

You in your teens or early twenties, I'm guessing? The flippancy will not seem so "cool" anymore.

No. I still struggle with this.

 

[lane777]

Ending a relationship out of boredom doesn't ring true to me, ending it because of lack of growth would be closer to the truth but is a very different way of seeing things, and naturally that would require an attempt on the ENTPs behalf to move forward and resistance from the other partner. Relationships need constant growth and development.

Since the most growth in relationships tend to happen earlier on, once this slows down, what then? Do you direct your attention elsewhere?

My eyes focus in on the horizon and I can hardly wait to see what's up ahead. So I'll tell you that you're welcome to come with me, but I can see you're so complacent here. No, it's not a game.

So as long as your So is willing to follow you on all of your adventures, you'll stick it out with them?

No, ENTPs often do not. It's a gross stereotype.

Just to clarify, I'm not going by what other types have said. I've gone straight to the source... many ENTP's have stated this is the case. Glad to hear you're not one of them

Not really. Ending relationships were more likely motivated by my feeling constricted, as if in a steel box, while I continued to expand and grow, but the box wasn't malleable with me, thus, it was trapping, suffocating, me.

I know how to make "boring" stuff NOT boring, if I care enough (and if I've committed to a relationship, that means I care enough). Making boring stuff not boring is a fun challenge for me. So, "boring" is not the issue.

It's the lack of growth, lack of challenge, to the point of feeling like I'm being constricted. Like the person is slowly draining me dry. It's, in a way, painful, thus, I escape/avoid. Boring - I meet head-on.

But what if there's nothing to work on for a spell? I guess I shouldn't really worry, my kind being so high maintenance.

 

[A window to the soul]

So as long as your So is willing to follow you on all of your adventures, you'll stick it out with them?

Yes! Without a doubt.

 

[Qre:us]

No. I still struggle with this.

That's sad.

I know a lot of the other ENTPs on this site, and the mature group of us (age-wise), are not likely to find resonance in this. As evidenced by Kasper's similar sentiment. Jenocyde, who is in a serious LTR. Tamske, etc. From the males, da MOUSE, Liquid_Laser, entropie, Visaisahero (youn'in but has been in a LTR for a while), and, substitute, comes to mind.

It likely kicks in when one reaches a sense of peace with themselves, and their sense of identity, rather than Ne always searching outwards, without any internalization, for an identity that will do......for the moment.

But what if there's nothing to work on for a spell? I guess I shouldn't really worry, my kind being so high maintenance.

I do not like pessimistic, defeatist attitude. THAT would be more of an issue than boredom. So, if my SO were to tell me this:

But what if there's nothing to work on for a spell?

It would likely piss me off, and make me frustrated.

As...there's ALWAYS something to work on, you just can't sit and wait for it to reveal itself. You must go out and search, rather than become complacent to stagnancy. So, unless you're dead, you're constantly a work in progress, and thus, so are your relationships around you.

 

[A window to the soul]

That's sad.

I know a lot of the other ENTPs on this site, and the mature group of us (age-wise), are not likely to find resonance in this. As evidenced by Kasper's similar sentiment. Jenocyde, who is in a serious LTR. Tamske, etc.

I understand. I'm not there yet, which is why it's nice to hear your thoughts. I'm still working on this.

 

[JAVO]

That's sad.

I know a lot of the other ENTPs on this site, and the mature group of us (age-wise), are not likely to find resonance in this. As evidenced by Kasper's similar sentiment. Jenocyde, who is in a serious LTR. Tamske, etc.

It likely kicks in when one reaches a sense of peace with themselves, and their sense of identity, rather than Ne always searching outwards, without any internalization, for an identity that will do......for the moment.

I think it's a separate issue from identity formation, as any type without a formed identity will likely experience difficulty in maintaining a relationship.

Despite being 40 and married to the same person continuously for 17 years, I often experience challenges with Ne as it relates to relationship issues. Whether Ne is first or second in my cognitive functions is certainly debatable though.

 

[Qre:us]

I think it's a separate issue from identity formation, as any type without a formed identity will likely experience difficulty in maintaining a relationship.

Very true.

Despite being 40 and married to the same person continuously for 17 years, I often experience challenges with Ne as it relates to relationship issues. Whether Ne is first or second in my cognitive functions is certainly debatable though.

True. But, I would go further to say that this phenomenon is likely to occur in any type, where their Dom-fx is feeling suppressed in expressing itself freely, and being understood, validated, and appreciated. So, an ISFJ with an ENTP would likely experience challenges with Si, as it relates to relationship issues with their ENTP. I.e., an ISFJ can get utterly bored by their ENTP's constant impractical flights of fancy.

Btw, welcome to the dark-side.

 

[Qre:us]

Fellow ENTPs, what are the stereotypes about ENTPs that you find does not really resonate with you, and why?

 

[lane777]

Come on now, let's be real. Many Ne-dom's by their very nature are moving on to bigger and better things as we speak. What do relationships offer us? Routine? Commitment? It's no surprise that ENTP's as a whole have earned that stereotype. Don't you think the junior level ENTP is going to be pretty dang flakey until their Tertiary and Inferior functions become more developed over time? For Ne, isn't the chase the prize? The chase being the challenge, being the interesting part. I'll be long gone before it gets too serious and becomes routine. That's not a game, as I mentioned before, so boredom is starting to make more and more sense to me.

This is pretty much the standard explanation I've come across concerning this issue with ENTP's. I appreciate the honesty, btw.

I do not like pessimistic, defeatist attitude. THAT would be more of an issue than boredom.

If that's how you see it, fair enough. That wasn't what I was implying though. I'm referring to the times where you and So are simply in agreement, or debates haven't come up and you're just enjoying one anothers company. I'm constantly working on myself, which affects my relationships, but I don't think it's possible to constantly be working on solving issues/problems with your So. Every word we exchange can't be based on an argument. Or....?

So, if my SO were to tell me this:

But what if there's nothing to work on for a spell?

It would likely piss me off, and make me frustrated.

As...there's ALWAYS something to work on, you just can't sit and wait for it to reveal itself. You must go out and search, rather than become complacent to stagnancy. So, unless you're dead, you're constantly a work in progress, and thus, so are your relationships around you.

I tend to take life a little too seriously, so I enjoy when someone pulls me out of that mindset and we just piss around. I thought your kind was good at this Anyway, I'm all for growth (I am an INFJ after all), but I don't think it's realistic to say there is always something to work on. I haven't experienced a relationship so far where there is no breathing period. Still, I appreciate your perspective.

 

[funkadelik]

Fellow ENTPs, what are the stereotypes about ENTPs that you find does not really resonate with you, and why?

The one we're talking about now. I've always been a serial monogamist. It takes a lot for me to commit to a relationship at the get-go, but once I do I put a lot of energy into it.

But it's gotta be someone I'm sure will give energy back in these matters. I dislike stagnation in anything, but it takes a certain amount of energy to make sure it doesn't happen in a long-term relationship.

I'm pretty cautious when it comes to relationships. For flirting/dating/friendships? Not at all.

 

[Kasper]

I know how to make "boring" stuff NOT boring, if I care enough (and if I've committed to a relationship, that means I care enough). Making boring stuff not boring is a fun challenge for me. So, "boring" is not the issue.

Exactly. I was going to add something like this... then got distracted

Boring is easy to overcome.

Since the most growth in relationships tend to happen earlier on, once this slows down, what then? Do you direct your attention elsewhere?

Growth never ends, it just moves to deeper levels. What ends is the excitement phase, what comes is way more challenging, it's starting to see the other person with their faults not just the good stuff.

 

[A window to the soul]

I do not like pessimistic, defeatist attitude. THAT would be more of an issue than boredom.

THAT. I have little patience for that.

Fellow ENTPs, what are the stereotypes about ENTPs that you find does not really resonate with you, and why?

Extremely extroverted, godless, loveless, nerdy looking jokers that throw people under the bus. That doesn't describe me most of the time.

Boring is easy to overcome.

Yes!!! You're right.

 

[lane777]

Growth never ends, it just moves to deeper levels. What ends is the excitement phase, what comes is way more challenging, it's starting to see the other person with their faults not just the good stuff.

Agreed I wasn't trying to imply that it ever did.