Ghost of the dead horse
filling some space
- Joined
- Sep 7, 2007
- Messages
- 3,553
- MBTI Type
- ENTJ
So, your complaints about the ENTJs finally got through. At least for me. I'm seeking to improve my interaction in communication, which is perhaps marked by some xNTJ-like habits.
I'm noticing that although I communicate well on technical grounds, customer service, technical subjects etc, I approach communication too much as a situation-dependent task, and I'm often secretly thinking that the communication is primarily driven by me. I'd say, I think that my wish is to have most of my communications 55-60% driven by me, and 40-45% by the other person. At least I'll know where they'll be heading.
That is, I communicate to get something done, to get entertained, to help someone, to transmit information, to lighten up someone's mood, etc.
I'm not all that interactive in my written communication, but I'm a bit more declarative. It's not like two streams of information are meeting. It's rather that chunks of information are being carried from one place to another, examined and replied to. I think my interaction in written communication is acceptable, and not much more on average. Sometimes OK, rarely good.
Reasons might include technical stuff, like writing long posts. Reasons might include things with my attitude - which are fine for many things, but not perhaps interaction in written communication. Perhaps so, perhaps not.
My interaction in spoken communication is best with one INTJ and one ExxP. Meaning, it's natural, and not business-like, and we enjoy it. With them, communication seems like it carries on from situation to another. For many people, I almost feel like each situation in communication were independent of the others. That is, almost as if I forgot the people in between.
As said, I've got no trouble in my communication in business or in technical subjects.
Perhaps I just give standard courtesy to many people. I behave well, but I don't try to think about the people's best interests after I've talked with them. When the discussion is over, I think my own stuff, and I think they should think about their own stuff, too.
Perhaps one thing is that I've developed my opinions over time. If I've decided that opinion/course of action/path X is good for me, and I'm now selecting between X1, X2 and X3, I am mostly open to choices X1, X2 and X3, only. Not to choice Y, not to W, not to Z.
A long post.
So, how would you help this ENTJ?
Questions?
I'm noticing that although I communicate well on technical grounds, customer service, technical subjects etc, I approach communication too much as a situation-dependent task, and I'm often secretly thinking that the communication is primarily driven by me. I'd say, I think that my wish is to have most of my communications 55-60% driven by me, and 40-45% by the other person. At least I'll know where they'll be heading.
That is, I communicate to get something done, to get entertained, to help someone, to transmit information, to lighten up someone's mood, etc.
I'm not all that interactive in my written communication, but I'm a bit more declarative. It's not like two streams of information are meeting. It's rather that chunks of information are being carried from one place to another, examined and replied to. I think my interaction in written communication is acceptable, and not much more on average. Sometimes OK, rarely good.
Reasons might include technical stuff, like writing long posts. Reasons might include things with my attitude - which are fine for many things, but not perhaps interaction in written communication. Perhaps so, perhaps not.
My interaction in spoken communication is best with one INTJ and one ExxP. Meaning, it's natural, and not business-like, and we enjoy it. With them, communication seems like it carries on from situation to another. For many people, I almost feel like each situation in communication were independent of the others. That is, almost as if I forgot the people in between.
As said, I've got no trouble in my communication in business or in technical subjects.
Perhaps I just give standard courtesy to many people. I behave well, but I don't try to think about the people's best interests after I've talked with them. When the discussion is over, I think my own stuff, and I think they should think about their own stuff, too.
Perhaps one thing is that I've developed my opinions over time. If I've decided that opinion/course of action/path X is good for me, and I'm now selecting between X1, X2 and X3, I am mostly open to choices X1, X2 and X3, only. Not to choice Y, not to W, not to Z.
A long post.
So, how would you help this ENTJ?
Questions?