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[MBTI General] Which INTUITIVE type is most likely to get FRIEND ZONED?

Cypocalypse

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I was trying to decide at first whether the topic is more appropriate to post on the NF forum or the NT one. But since there are probably more male NTs than NFs, I decided to post the issue here.

Seriously, How many of you guys here have problems getting stuck in this disposition?

Some personal thoughts based on observation:

ENTJ - will probably not acknowledge it if he ever gets involve in one. In the first place, are there too many freindly ENTJs to begin with that they can land a spot even in the platonic friendship department? Secretly, they wish so bad to be Brad Pitt when in truth they're probably more like Donald Trump.

INTJ - possibly the most schizoid among the intuitives. Lack of social skills is very very evident, but compared to ENTJs, have no glaring desire to be that Brad Pitt Alpha male. Pretty much smart enough to get so involved in a field that they know they have know legit expertise in. Friendly enough in the sense that there's no intent to over assert himself (unlike ENTJ), though still has those occasional moments of NTJ bluntness, but pretty much bearable. It's probably the intuitive archetype that is least likely to cheat, so probably the INTJ gets to have that market of gals who wants serious faithful relationships.

INTP - actually, any NP (INTP, ENTP, ENFP, INFP) is the best prospect to be friend zoned. NP is the broad-minded archetype. Only that, INTPs are probably the most assertive. It's like talking to Dr. Phil. You know that the person sincerely wants to help you but there's always a question of whether he's sympathetic enough in his delivery. Half of the crowd will like him, half will hate him, and it's another story as to girls are so into him.

The other INTPs I know are deliberately more involved in the dating scene, at least compared to INTJ. They're probably as socially inept as INTJ but there's more deliberate effort to get involved in "the game". One manifestation is how they "assert" themselves thru their opinions, which gives others the notion that they're "showing off". Kinda like what ENTJ does. Though there are chances that things can backfire once they show their INTP idiosyncrasies.

ENTP - the "cooler" brother of the INTP. Pretty much the "coolest" rational. The best ENTP I know can seduce an ESFP just by a witty Ne based smooth talking. And if smooth talking doesn't talk, there's still that childish charisma. Even if not a "player" in the strictest sense, there's still a lot of things going. One major difference with the INTP is how the ENTP is significantly more concerned with how his message is perceived by the recipient (presumably less smart). A healthier Fe, perhaps.

_____________________

ENFJ - the true player among the intuitives. Least likely to get friend zoned. The Barack Obama archetype. Waaaay above every other archetype (ENTP could be a distant second). The only intuitive archetype that can come off as SF in big social occasions, but packs that intuitive depth that can connect to you deeply in more intimate interactions. Very good listener, and talks your language.

INFJ - I haven't seen a male one. So I'm referring from an INFJ that I know. Very good listener also. Only that, they seem to less likely to cater to a very big demographics of people compared to ENFJ, hence creating an impression that they prefer closer ties with fewer people even if Fe is their strong function.

INFP - the quintessential FRIEND ZONE archetype. Is it just me or are most INFPs depressed? I mean, quite seriously depressed. They're supposed to be the psychologist/personal prozac archetype, but they're as capable of telling other people a truckload of their problems as much as the other problematic person. Prejudice aside, the male INFPs that I know are too feminine (depressed feminine to add to that), I can't get off the gay connotation in there.

ENFP - the happy INFP. One ENFP guy I know is single. And he also that "gay" impression. Only that he's really happy (unlike the INFP). Gay (pun intended). It can be a charming female archetype, but I couldn't say for certain for an ENFP guy. Though the ENFP guy can get as witty as their ENTP brothers, the ENTP has that more malicious T based sarcasm that much more feels like that it wants to hound women.
 

Laurie

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I think it's an interesting post. Other than the INFJ, "sorry I don't know any males so I'm talking about males by knowing a female" I think they aren't too off.
 

nomadic

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the two friend zoned girls that stick out most clearly in my mind are infj's (like to the point where if we slept on the same bed, and i woke up dry humping them, even if they were humping back, i would feel like throwing up and be very embarassed and stop immediately)

but it was for reasons other than their "personalities" (btw, they are physically attractive)

strangely enough, my gf is a infj. lolz
 

Oaky

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I'm not sure the OP works. For one, which type's perspective is this seen in? Different people will have different views on which type would enter the 'friend zone'.
 

Laurie

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Cyclo, you are male? I'm reading it through that filter.
 

ajblaise

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INFPs probably get friend-zoned the most. I'm not crazy about the type analysis in the OP though.

But we don't need to be pushing that in their faces, INFP males have enough to deal with. So I'm going to friend-zone this thread and exit.
 
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I don't know, if that is completely true. I am ENTP with some feeling aspects (sometimes I behave like an INFP, although not constantly), and I see, that ENTP-behavior is much more successful in getting attraction.

But I see, that only the charme of my ENTPness alone won't work for long. For example, if she's playing games or behave shy or something like that. Or if she isn't outgoing enough and behave strange. My personal strengths are the first minutes after seeing or maybe internet-chatting. But that's not all, after this can happen so much to take me out. Another types strengths is maybe to hold deeper conversations, but he don't reach this point.

I don't know, if that's a question of type. Maybe every type has another talents and another areas, where he/she can work best, and maybe the types have different ways of learning that. But the final outcome is not descriptable with type.

It's more a question of experience and experience-making than of the innocent type.

But it would be interesting for me to debate this aspect.
 

Cypocalypse

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The difference with ENTP compared to, let's say INTP or INFP (my type shifts to any of these 3) is that ENTP is able to assert early that he somehow likes the person, and do it more smoothly, even if it's stated in a cryptic perceiver way of stating things.

At least the recipient gets the immediate impression that she is being liked more than a friend, even if the interaction takes ages to progress because of the ENTP's lack of guts.

A girl who knows that you like her can give you more flexibility in the courtship process, as compared to being told by the person that what you have is strictly friendship, which possibly happened because the guy didn't have an early assertion.
 

Snuggletron

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I'm an INFP male and I've been friend zoned my whole life. :)

(that smiley is just a facade concealing my angst and the barrel of my gun pointing at the head of the world)
 

Valiant

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:facepalm:

I don't know if this has much to do with type... It's more about how well someone learns from past mistakes, really.
If it happened once. Twice. Three times. Then any normal person would start taking action to analyze what the hell he/she is doing wrong and change it, if it isn't some vital stuff.

I say that's necessary, some might say that it's bad to change ones behavior... But really, isn't "being human" all about adaptation?
I assure you all, we wouldn't be here to get friend-zoned every once in a while if we didn't learn and change, regardless of type :D

Just for the record... I don't think many in here can brag about some large scale survey on the matter, so personal experience may very well be the best info we'll get...
Here's mine.
The most frequently friend-zoned people in my immediate surroundings are actually an ENFJ and an ENTP.
It used to happen a lot to me when I was a bit younger. All the time, quite literally.
Now, I simply walk away if I judge that the day cannot be won. I don't find much pleasure in hunting someone who doesn't want to be pursued.
Well... This kind of only applies when i'm single, of course. Which I am not.
 

Laurie

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But I see, that only the charme of my ENTPness alone won't work for long. For example, if she's playing games or behave shy or something like that. Or if she isn't outgoing enough and behave strange. My personal strengths are the first minutes after seeing or maybe internet-chatting. But that's not all, after this can happen so much to take me out. Another types strengths is maybe to hold deeper conversations, but he don't reach this point.

My ESFP(tp?) mom used to say that she could always get the guy but that didn't mean she could keep the guy. It's the same idea, you have to play to your strengths and recognize and work around your weaknesses.
 

entropie

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I once friend zoned and intj but that was only because she never showed me she is intrested in more than just to be friends.

I was older at that young age :/ ( but thanks to booze, nowadays all second thoughts are gone with the wind :D )
 

INTPness

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OP said that INTJ's are the most socially awkward. I'd have to disagree. They may feel awkward (I don't know), but their Te makes them seem so normal and confident. I think the INFP/INTP with their Ne (as an auxiliary function, not primary like ENFP/ENTP) would have to be the most awkward, generally speaking.

Te users come off seeming mentally tough. They usually get your respect.

Ne users seem to be misunderstood all the time and we draw the most strange looks :)shock:) which, over time, probably causes us to be even more withdrawn and/or awkward.

However, LOL at ENTJ's wanting to be Brad Pitt and actually being more like Donald Trump. It made me laugh just picturing the hair of both men and imagining Trump going home at the end of a long day and looking in the mirror and wishing he had the lion's mane of Brad Pitt.

Funny post OP!
 

Silencio

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:facepalm:

I don't know if this has much to do with type... It's more about how well someone learns from past mistakes, really.
If it happened once. Twice. Three times. Then any normal person would start taking action to analyze what the hell he/she is doing wrong and change it, if it isn't some vital stuff.

I say that's necessary, some might say that it's bad to change ones behavior... But really, isn't "being human" all about adaptation?
I assure you all, we wouldn't be here to get friend-zoned every once in a while if we didn't learn and change, regardless of type :D

Just for the record... I don't think many in here can brag about some large scale survey on the matter, so personal experience may very well be the best info we'll get...
Here's mine.
The most frequently friend-zoned people in my immediate surroundings are actually an ENFJ and an ENTP.
It used to happen a lot to me when I was a bit younger. All the time, quite literally.
Now, I simply walk away if I judge that the day cannot be won. I don't find much pleasure in hunting someone who doesn't want to be pursued.
Well... This kind of only applies when i'm single, of course. Which I am not.

Likewise. I used to always get friendzoned but now I just walk away with my dignity in tact. I usually only do this once i feel like i've presented myself as best i possibly can and they still show little interest. I've become a lot better at probing the level of attraction without making it seem blatently obvious that i'm interested in them, which helps a lot. Can't win em all, unfortunately... :C
 

Spamtar

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Interesting thread. It was pretty rough when I was younger, I even had a hard time making it into the "friend zone". First time I was in the friend zone I kept waiting for the girl to take the initiative. My thought process was "Ok I have be quietly waiting patiently...now when is the sex coming?"

I was so clueless on the game and its rules...kinda pissed at my Dad, who is a bit of a slut (but in a good way), for not training me.
 

OrangeAppled

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I don't believe in "friend-zoning". It only exists if you make it exist. If you're upfront with your intentions, then you're either rejected or accepted as a romantic potential.

So that said, with Ns, I think NF diplomacy and introvert passiveness would lead to that situation the most. That does bode rather poorly for INFx types, especially non-directive INFPs. However, being depressive or whiny doesn't win friends either, so there's something likable about someone who is "friend-zoned", even if they are not assertive enough to make their romantic interest clear.

You may also be surprised at how much ENFJ men complain they cannot get a gf when they are surrounded by female friends - but I think it's because they are picky, as are many idealists.
 

Spamtar

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You may also be surprised at how much ENFJ men complain they cannot get a gf when they are surrounded by female friends - but I think it's because they are picky, as are many idealists.

I think they just like to bitch
;)
 

Son of the Damned

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The Friend-Zone is an excuse. People are either attracted to you or they aren't. But Boldness does help.
 
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