-
You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.
[INTP] INTP's and relationships
- Thread starter King sns
- Start date
Kra
Black Magic Buzzard
- Joined
- Jun 24, 2009
- Messages
- 912
- MBTI Type
- INTJ
- Enneagram
- 4w5
Perhaps, but I was merely showing that MBTI does not translate directly to Socionics or vice-versa, and that assuming it does will lead to some incorrect speculation.
Fluffywolf
Nips away your dignity
- Joined
- Mar 31, 2009
- Messages
- 9,581
- MBTI Type
- INTP
- Enneagram
- 9
- Instinctual Variant
- sp/sx
It takes time for INTP's to mature socially. I'd say on average, an INTP starts maturing on that front when 24+ up to 30.
Risen
Permabanned
- Joined
- Mar 19, 2008
- Messages
- 3,185
- MBTI Type
- ISTP
- Enneagram
- 9w8
HomerSoprano
New member
- Joined
- Oct 12, 2009
- Messages
- 57
- MBTI Type
- INTP
Uytuun
New member
- Joined
- Apr 19, 2008
- Messages
- 1,633
- MBTI Type
- nnnn
a-dor-able!
King sns
New member
- Joined
- Nov 4, 2008
- Messages
- 6,714
- MBTI Type
- enfp
- Enneagram
- 6w7
- Instinctual Variant
- sp/sx
I don't think he needs to worry about that. So far its been the opposite way around!!
King sns
New member
- Joined
- Nov 4, 2008
- Messages
- 6,714
- MBTI Type
- enfp
- Enneagram
- 6w7
- Instinctual Variant
- sp/sx
Well.. The INTP ended up kind of flipping his lid on me.
I decided to quit thinking about us and just to have fun with it. I was still in love with my last guy, so I doubted anything this INTP would do could ever hurt me. So we went along, dating and having a generalized blast. I was having fun and it was very lighthearted and stopped thinking that we should have a committment. It seemed to work great for both of us.
Then one day he started acting kind of distant. A typical guy thing to do, so I gave him some space. Then one day he came over and started acting funny and then left. (I guess he said my roommate and I were "leaving him out" and we weren't. I think he thinks there's something going on between me and my roommate.) Then he started being a little snide and sarcastic. Then one day he refused to put his arm around me. So I finally asked him what was wrong. He was really vague. Like, "this relationship is not good or healthy." With no further explanation. (This was on IM.) I was really hurt and surprised.
My roommate said he's been acting kind of funny around him, too.
I don't really know what happened, but i'm not the type of person to ask a lot of questions or chase anyone. He said he wanted to just be friends. Actually he said he wanted to keep going but just "take a step back" but he's acting too weird for me to want to spend any time with him at all, and I feel that seeing him now would be rather awkward and I don't feel like bringing up the drama again so I just kind of dropped it and stopped talking to him. He's been trying to random chit chat on IM or text but I usually cut it off.
Weird.
Roommate says he does this when he gets too close to someone or something.
Makes no sense because I wasn't sensing any kind of seriousness about us.
I decided to quit thinking about us and just to have fun with it. I was still in love with my last guy, so I doubted anything this INTP would do could ever hurt me. So we went along, dating and having a generalized blast. I was having fun and it was very lighthearted and stopped thinking that we should have a committment. It seemed to work great for both of us.
Then one day he started acting kind of distant. A typical guy thing to do, so I gave him some space. Then one day he came over and started acting funny and then left. (I guess he said my roommate and I were "leaving him out" and we weren't. I think he thinks there's something going on between me and my roommate.) Then he started being a little snide and sarcastic. Then one day he refused to put his arm around me. So I finally asked him what was wrong. He was really vague. Like, "this relationship is not good or healthy." With no further explanation. (This was on IM.) I was really hurt and surprised.
My roommate said he's been acting kind of funny around him, too.
I don't really know what happened, but i'm not the type of person to ask a lot of questions or chase anyone. He said he wanted to just be friends. Actually he said he wanted to keep going but just "take a step back" but he's acting too weird for me to want to spend any time with him at all, and I feel that seeing him now would be rather awkward and I don't feel like bringing up the drama again so I just kind of dropped it and stopped talking to him. He's been trying to random chit chat on IM or text but I usually cut it off.
Weird.
Roommate says he does this when he gets too close to someone or something.
Makes no sense because I wasn't sensing any kind of seriousness about us.
Matthew_Z
That chalkboard guy
- Joined
- Jun 15, 2009
- Messages
- 1,256
- MBTI Type
- xxxx
And far away.
tcda
psicobolche
- Joined
- Nov 17, 2009
- Messages
- 1,292
- MBTI Type
- intp
- Enneagram
- 5
Inability to control Fe. It's all or nothing. The OP described me in relationships pretty well. I'm not affectionate with people, I'm aloof, so if I do develop an affectionate relationship with someone, it really opens me up. This is why F types throw me because to me it's a big deal tbut to them it isn't.
Anyway the last one lasted two years so I reckon I need a 2 year break from relationships now to get over the Fe exhaustion...
Also consider that your guy has a strategy. My ENTP friend IRL and I have done shit like that before, discuss how to keep someone interested. It really is immature but can you blame us, to an F type that kind of shit comes instinctively, a poor NT has to ut a lot of thinking just to keep some dignity
Often though, as in the case of your guy, we fuck up royally. (though maybe not, he's got you talking a lot about him instead of just going "jackass" and walking away).
Anyway the last one lasted two years so I reckon I need a 2 year break from relationships now to get over the Fe exhaustion...
Also consider that your guy has a strategy. My ENTP friend IRL and I have done shit like that before, discuss how to keep someone interested. It really is immature but can you blame us, to an F type that kind of shit comes instinctively, a poor NT has to ut a lot of thinking just to keep some dignity
Often though, as in the case of your guy, we fuck up royally. (though maybe not, he's got you talking a lot about him instead of just going "jackass" and walking away).
King sns
New member
- Joined
- Nov 4, 2008
- Messages
- 6,714
- MBTI Type
- enfp
- Enneagram
- 6w7
- Instinctual Variant
- sp/sx
Inability to control Fe. It's all or nothing. The OP described me in relationships pretty well. I'm not affectionate with people, I'm aloof, so if I do develop an affectionate relationship with someone, it really opens me up. This is why F types throw me because to me it's a big deal tbut to them it isn't.
Anyway the last one lasted two years so I reckon I need a 2 year break from relationships now to get over the Fe exhaustion...
Also consider that your guy has a strategy. My ENTP friend IRL and I have done shit like that before, discuss how to keep someone interested. It really is immature but can you blame us, to an F type that kind of shit comes instinctively, a poor NT has to ut a lot of thinking just to keep some dignity
Yea, you're right. Of course I want to talk about it though. Its messed up! I haven't talked to him for a few days. I just gave up. This won't work.
King sns
New member
- Joined
- Nov 4, 2008
- Messages
- 6,714
- MBTI Type
- enfp
- Enneagram
- 6w7
- Instinctual Variant
- sp/sx
Lol!
haha.
Hahahaha!! Love it. Sounds like a quote or something
Just what a girl always needs to hear!
I know, tell me about it.
I've been avoiding him like the plague. I'm pulling an esfp conflict avoidance majorly. I think he wants to get together. But so far I've even changed my new years plans so that I could go to a party without him there. I also set up plans with friends for every single night this week to not accidentally be home while he's here. I just don't do well with dramas.
Actually, I just had a conversation with him on IM right now that proves the drama. Like, "well, this has been nice, ttyl I guess." Its like so weird and foreign to me to talk that way to people. I was being nice enough I think.
(I am the 678)
wels (11:23:14 PM): Back home?
678 (11:23:21 PM): yea, been back
wels (11:23:31 PM): oh cool
wels (11:23:49 PM): Still on vacation though right
678 (11:24:17 PM): just got outta work
els (11:24:36 PM): fuuun
678 (11:25:23 PM): yea
wels (11:26:51 PM): Ok well I'll have to swing by some time to give you your xmas gift
wels (11:31:18 PM): Well this has been nice.
wels (11:31:22 PM): I guess I'll ttyl.
678 (11:31:57 PM): oh sorry
678 (11:32:05 PM): Adrian got home and let the dogs out
678 (11:32:09 PM): it went a little crazy
678 (11:33:57 PM): are you still there?
678 (11:39:10 PM): Alright, see ya sometime!
God forbid I don't respond for five minutes. I know i'm not exactly being direct either.. I just don't want to start a big thing on the IM. I guess if the opportunity comes to talk about this further I have to take it. For now I'm just having such a good and fun vacation that I want to keep the peace with him and kind of keep my distance as much as possible.
HomerSoprano
New member
- Joined
- Oct 12, 2009
- Messages
- 57
- MBTI Type
- INTP
Have you read up on the duality between ESFP and INTP? Here it is.
"These relations are the most favourable and comfortable of all intertype relationsproviding complete psychological compatibility. Dual partners are like two halves of a whole unit. They usually understand each others intentions without any need to say a word. Dual will naturally protect your weak points and appreciate the strong ones without asking for anything in return. Interaction with your Dual allows you to be yourself without the need to adjust to your partner like in other relations. This often saves both partners a lot of energy which they can use for their own interesting activities. Conflicts between Duals are very rare and if there are any, they are normally short lived and solved without pain. Your Dual partner will love you just for what you are and if there is such a thing as true love then it could probably only occur in relations of Duality.
However, let's not idealise these relations too much. Although theoretically relations of Duality are the best of the best, practically not everybody who is your Dual will make your dreams come true. The reason for this is that we are usually so twisted up during the course of our lives that our already formed and stable views and attitudes can affect our relationships quite heavily. In fact, younger people have more chance to succeed in the quest for their perfect partner than older people. But the chances are always there.
There are at least two conditions to be completed for a successful relationship between Duals. Firstly between the partners there has to be at least a minimal mutual attraction. Secondly and most importantly is that the partners are truly striving for the same or similar things. This may include common interests and/or life goals. Partners that are both seriously thinking about building a family are a good example. Logically saying: two halves of the same whole must not repel or move in the different directions, otherwise the whole will break into pieces. Relations of Duality also go through several stages. The first stage sometimes can be really tense. It is like a new engine that requires a "run in" first. If relations crumble it normally happens in the first stage. The more stages completed by Duals the more unbreakable their relationship.
However, nature has played a little trick on us. It is difficult to notice your Dual partner among all the other types and even easier to pass them by. Usually during first contact extroverts think about their introvert Dual as ordinary and simple, therefore not deserving their personal attention. In return introverts consider their extrovert Dual to be too good for them and therefore unattainable. Both positions usually belong to people who had a lack of Duality interaction during childhood. The magnetic effect of Duality becomes obvious when partners do not see each other for a while. Only after being together for a fair amount of time do the partners start realising how much they need each other. Finally, these relations are most suitable for friendship, marriage and family life. To have a Dual partner is irreplaceable if you have to compete or survive in a socially dangerous environment. "
From Socionics.com
"These relations are the most favourable and comfortable of all intertype relationsproviding complete psychological compatibility. Dual partners are like two halves of a whole unit. They usually understand each others intentions without any need to say a word. Dual will naturally protect your weak points and appreciate the strong ones without asking for anything in return. Interaction with your Dual allows you to be yourself without the need to adjust to your partner like in other relations. This often saves both partners a lot of energy which they can use for their own interesting activities. Conflicts between Duals are very rare and if there are any, they are normally short lived and solved without pain. Your Dual partner will love you just for what you are and if there is such a thing as true love then it could probably only occur in relations of Duality.
However, let's not idealise these relations too much. Although theoretically relations of Duality are the best of the best, practically not everybody who is your Dual will make your dreams come true. The reason for this is that we are usually so twisted up during the course of our lives that our already formed and stable views and attitudes can affect our relationships quite heavily. In fact, younger people have more chance to succeed in the quest for their perfect partner than older people. But the chances are always there.
There are at least two conditions to be completed for a successful relationship between Duals. Firstly between the partners there has to be at least a minimal mutual attraction. Secondly and most importantly is that the partners are truly striving for the same or similar things. This may include common interests and/or life goals. Partners that are both seriously thinking about building a family are a good example. Logically saying: two halves of the same whole must not repel or move in the different directions, otherwise the whole will break into pieces. Relations of Duality also go through several stages. The first stage sometimes can be really tense. It is like a new engine that requires a "run in" first. If relations crumble it normally happens in the first stage. The more stages completed by Duals the more unbreakable their relationship.
However, nature has played a little trick on us. It is difficult to notice your Dual partner among all the other types and even easier to pass them by. Usually during first contact extroverts think about their introvert Dual as ordinary and simple, therefore not deserving their personal attention. In return introverts consider their extrovert Dual to be too good for them and therefore unattainable. Both positions usually belong to people who had a lack of Duality interaction during childhood. The magnetic effect of Duality becomes obvious when partners do not see each other for a while. Only after being together for a fair amount of time do the partners start realising how much they need each other. Finally, these relations are most suitable for friendship, marriage and family life. To have a Dual partner is irreplaceable if you have to compete or survive in a socially dangerous environment. "
From Socionics.com
Similar threads
