Man, that's complex.
Well, all I can say is, he's expecting you to know what it means when he makes a feeling statement. No one's gonna know how to handle this without an NFP bodyguard.
You rang?
What you all are saying makes sense. I will probably regret this later but here is his entire email in context.
If you want to talk about this then we can, if you don't that's fine. I love you Erica and you have always been a good friend in the past, but if you insist on telling me that I used someone, when you aren't even fully aware of what went on....if you really think that little of me.....and refuse to accept anything I say....then it really hurts my feelings and would prefer to not be your friend at all. I hope that does not happen, but if it does then there is nothing I can do about it. I have already tried to explain that both Amber and I had talked about all of this before it happened. I in no way used her and to think that you would say that to me makes me want to cry. When i try to defend myself you say I am only doing it to keep anyone else from knowing.......if you really want to then tell anyone you want, that is not what this is about and I think you know that. My main concern is what YOU are thinking about me, not them. I do not like you or anyone else thinking that I would ever use a girl. That's what hurts the most to me. With all the conversations I have had with you about women, you of all people should know that's not true.
I just felt like you all needed the full picture.. at least some of it. This was copy/paste.
I hide my feelings well or try to; I don't know why it never occured to me that other NTJ's especially men would want to do the same thing. So what does it take for a girl to coerce them out?
I'm no INTJ but here are my two cents:
Erica, this guy thinks the world of you. Quite literally. He highly respects you. And, it cuts him deep to see that you don't seem to have the same respect and trust for him that he has for you (or so he sees it). He's in full Fi-explanation mode. Showing authenticity, sincerity, pleading from an emotional pov, the works. He's genuine when he says he 'loves' you. It is not clear from this context if he means the big L (he could), but I'd say that in this situation that's not what he's trying to convey though it could be a factor. He's trying to convey to you that you're closer to him than most others ever get. That he feels connected with you in that Fi way (which is also possible in a platonic way, but often a great foundation for a relationship). He's let you in, into his soul. That's..special, believe it or not. Especially with these guys, as they usually don't have a need for peopel that much. However, when they find a connection like that, it is my experience that they treasure it greatly. You have a very very loyal friend who's hurt that you could ever think ill of him. The one thing he needs most now is that you acknowledge his sentiments, that you show you understand and believe him. Show him the same sincerity and, if you can, the same sentiment that he's shown you and choose your words carefully. He's let you into his Fi-china cabinet. Don't be an elephant. Trust me, they're worth it.
Edit: if you do like him that way, chances are there is very much a fertile base for a relationship to grow here. Start, as I said before, with giving him the same sentiments and stating that you do believe and trust him. Then, since you're the E, show some warmth and more interest in hanging out with him. Have fun together.Get into deep topics, allowing you both to show to each other what's important to you, show your vulnerability, just a little (I know, this is hard for NTJs, but it creates an incredible connection and if you do trust him fully you have nothing to be afraid of, and might encourage him to do the same) Don't overanalyse what is happening, don't rush anything, just enjoy the moment and let that connection you have grow deeper. Normally, you'll automatically get more comfortable hugging and touching as you proceed, starting off with a simple shoulder slap, and moving on to tickling and hugging. From there on, let Nature take it's course
