[INTJ] Hate an INTJ? Tell us why!

[Athenian200]

It does sound like Fi vs Fe...I think INTJ Fi is pretty soft and squishy and safe once you get past the intense IXXJ-ness that Athenian described.

Yeah, I think it is the Fe vs. Fi. Even the fun, familiar intensity seems intense to me, because Fi seems so unpredictable. In fact, that's probably why I can't handle NFPs at all... the Fi is too much there, and it's mixed in with Si/Ne rather than Ni. With INTJs, they tone it down enough that I'm not completely overwhelmed. Basically, INTJs end up being to me what INFPs are to most people... I literally need Fi to be THAT diluted before I can touch it.

INTPs probably seem a little dry because they just (generally) use bad Fe that reminds me of own social skills at age 13, minus the adaptability and perceptiveness (ironically).

 

[PoprocksAndCoke]

It probably has nothing to do with his personality type, but talking to my INTJ dad is like walking on a minefield - you never know when you're going to set him off, and then it's up to 8 or 9 or 10 on the anger scale for the littlest things. I'm not exaggerating. He always threatens and intimidates. And if everything's not how he wants it? You better run! Plus he has a narrow vision of how all females should be, and hates kids acting like kids. Extremely melodramatic and very scary at times.

 

[Ace_]

Are you sure he's not an ISTJ?

 

[PoprocksAndCoke]

Are you sure he's not an ISTJ?

Maybe he is. He claims to be INTJ.

 

[Misty_Mountain_Rose]

It probably has nothing to do with his personality type, but talking to my INTJ dad is like walking on a minefield - you never know when you're going to set him off, and then it's up to 8 or 9 or 10 on the anger scale for the littlest things. I'm not exaggerating. He always threatens and intimidates. And if everything's not how he wants it? You better run! Plus he has a narrow vision of how all females should be, and hates kids acting like kids. Extremely melodramatic and very scary at times.

This doesnt sound like any INTJ I've ever met. Most of us care so little about things in general that we rarely bother to get angry. Anger has a very personal element to it... either fear or a perceived threat. INTJ's, in my experience, don't often fear things or take things personally.

If that's an INTJ, he must be a REALLY stressed out one.

 

[poppy]

It probably has nothing to do with his personality type, but talking to my INTJ dad is like walking on a minefield - you never know when you're going to set him off, and then it's up to 8 or 9 or 10 on the anger scale for the littlest things. I'm not exaggerating. He always threatens and intimidates. And if everything's not how he wants it? You better run! Plus he has a narrow vision of how all females should be, and hates kids acting like kids. Extremely melodramatic and very scary at times.

Sounds more like EXTJ to me, but it's possible that you're misreading some of his enthusiastic criticism as anger (sometimes we get fired up about things, and it's not anger, just a burst of Te energy). However I've never known an INTJ to actively threaten people.

 

[Cranky]

Sounds more like EXTJ to me, but it's possible that you're misreading some of his enthusiastic criticism as anger (sometimes we get fired up about things, and it's not anger, just a burst of Te energy). However I've never known an INTJ to actively threaten people.

I never threaten people unless I mean it and I can carry through (we're not counting playful teasing). As a result, I really only threaten someone once every couple of years. Someone threatening far more often and not following through is behaving irrationally and without self-reflection or concern for the fact that their threats are suffering from decreased value due to inflation. That's not any INTJ I've ever heard of.

 

[Cranky]

"One of these days maybe I'll snap and kill you" just doesn' strike me as enthusiastic criticism. But oh well. I can deal with it and he can be really kind sometimes. Plus, well, he's my dad.

That's a joke. I say the same kind of stuff with a straight face all the time. If he was really going to snap and kill you, he'd never SAY so. IF he's actually an INTJ.

 

[the state i am in]

my intj threatens to kill me at least 12x per day. our banter gets pretty aggressive tho.

 

[Cranky]

my intj threatens to kill me at least 12x per day. our banter gets pretty aggressive tho.

That's just what we call pillow talk, baby.

 

[Lexicon]

Aw, INTJ death threats are just, adorable..

Besides.. if they actually wanted to end you, it'd be done already.

 

[Dailtone]

An INTJ broke my heart once But I don't hate him because of that.

I hate him because I miss the witty,elegantly sarcastic, teasingly mocking , irrepressibly sexy , intelligent, humorous conversations we would have together.

And I miss having fun trying every trick in the book , every clever turn of phrase ,to coax a smile or smirk or chuckle from him, in short , to please him. For the love of god, I dont know why pleasing him gave me so much pleasure.

I hate that I was the one who had pull myself away painfully because it became clear that he liked having me around, but couldn't have me *as part of* his life. It would have been easier if he had simply rejected me.

I hate that he began intellectually avoiding me towards the end (as I got more emotional ). I hate that he would talk to me just to be nice, but with that obvious feeling that something had died between us.

Damn you, INTJ ! *shakes fist to the sky* So I wiped my tears, pushed myself into my career, life and socializing ,vowing never to fall in love with witty repartee again.

And thus, he was shocked when he called me 2 years later. The day before my wedding day. Perhaps I was even more shocked. That I was over it and could move on.

Yeah, we ENFPS move on pretty fast once we make up our minds.But I don't think I will ever hate that INTJ. And that's what I hate the most about him

 

[Amargith]

His loss..
Odd the way their pleasure can be our greatest pleasure as well, huh

 

[Dailtone]

His loss..
Odd the way their pleasure can be our greatest pleasure as well, huh

Yes, very odd.

I am generally a warm but reserved person unless my 'silly switch' is turned on by family or close acquaintances. But I really let loose every ounce of ENFP charm I had on this INTJ. And all he did was act cool and receptive. D'oh!

Among the most mystifyingly gushy things I did was write him a song. Simply because he made wry comment about there were hardly any songs written about guys named *insert his name here* while there were a few about girls named *insert my name here*.

It was a pretty cool song though. Not gushy at all, more along the lines of 'aaargh how could I be falling for this guy! but I like it! '

 

[Amargith]

LOL, and lemme guess..he didn't know how to respond?

It takes a while to get their blood going and get them all enthused. It's fun when they get there though

Also fun to just shock em with spontaneous mushy things like that and see how they struggle to deal with it

You know, I'm thinking of starting an 'How to torture an INTJ in a loving way'-thread *ponders*

 

[Dailtone]

LOL, and lemme guess..he didn't know how to respond?

LOL I don't think so! But I think his ego was sincerely flattered Which was fine by me!

It takes a while to get their blood going and get them all enthused. It's fun when they get there though

Yes, then they're all like , " You've got me in this state, now what are you going to do about it?" almost threateningly. Which is awesome.

Also fun to just shock em with spontaneous mushy things like that and see how they struggle to deal with it

You know, I'm thinking of starting an 'How to torture an INTJ in a loving way'-thread *ponders*

At the time I had no knowledge of MBTI and that mushy things would shock him. I was going with the Fe flow

But I do remember how I would audible sigh (not in a teasing way, just a heartfelt, sincere happy/content sigh I wasn't even aware of) during one of our long phone chats.

INTJ guy : You've got to stop doing that.
Enfp :What?
INTJ guy :Sighing. On the phone. It's dangerous.
Enfp :But...it's not like I'm doing it on purpose! (<-genuinely flustered )
INTJ guy :Thats what makes it even worse...

LOL!! I dont think he was complaining, it had more of a "whyyy are you doing this to meee" vibe

 

[Amargith]

LOL..that is such a classic response

Plz tell me you did it on purpose after that, just to drive him up the wall

 

[Biaxident]

Y'all are so damn cute.

 

[Dailtone]

LOL..that is such a classic response

Plz tell me you did it on purpose after that, just to drive him up the wall

But of course! A handy addition to my arsenal

After I while I think I really got to him because he confessed (and they did sound like confessions from a bewildered man ):

1) He got pulled over and had to pay a substantial fine for talking to me on the phone while driving. And he didn't mind at all! ( The impression I got was that this would normally bother him VERY much )

2) He said he would sometimes whisper my name to himself when he was alone or stressed , to make himself feel better. " Like my own private oasis "
I found that to be really sweet.

Another thing I did ( of course, not intentionally )

enfp : (INTJ's name)
INTJ : Yes?
enfp : oh nothing. I just like saying your name. *says it again*
INTJ : ......(*whyy is she doing this to meee vibes*)

 

[Amargith]

Lol..seriously, you'll be a nice additional source to that 'how to torture an INTJ in a loving way' thread