[MBTI General] Convincing someone that they are not an INTP

[hotmale]

no, but I. I. It just drives me insane. And maybe I'm sterotyping but I can't tell you how many times I've taught her how to use a computer or hook up some electronic for her.

That's not really a good indicator of personality type. If she's INTP, she's probably attracted to abstract thinking- philosophy, politics, sciences, economics. NTs like intuitive- non-linear systems- whereas STs are technically better at mechanics- like working computers-engineering-software programming.

I wouldn't lose any sleep over whether or not you think your friend is a particular personality type unless you're secretly competitive with her. After all, you can put your opinions on the table, but if she chooses to still think she's INTP, well does that make you less of a man?

 

[Totenkindly]

no, but I. I. It just drives me insane. And maybe I'm sterotyping but I can't tell you how many times I've taught her how to use a computer or hook up some electronic for her.

So you're annoyed because you feel like she has had the ability to better understand this before just labeling herself as what she wanted, but she has been too lazy/indifferent to do that?

Also I was hoping someone would give me some advice and help me out in coming up with ways to talk to her about it, and what to look for. I'm no expert that's partially why I posted this thread. But I got attacked so sorry for trying, about what right do I have blah blah blah.

I don't think all the comments were attacks. (I know I didn't mean mine that way.) I just think it is important to stress the concept that we can't change people or force them to accept something they did not conclude on their own.

I remember making some pretty awful mistakes in my life because I didn't realize that truth when I was younger. I ended up damaging some relationships or at the least just causing myself lots of anxiety because of it. I do not want to see you over-burden yourself with the thought you need to be the one to change her, nor do I want to see you accidentally drive her away because you were really focused on this issue.

Look it's not like I met her once, we went to school together we spent everyday of three summer's together. We know each other very well, If she doubts me on something she'll tell me. Hell we've taken care of each other drunk and thrown each other in the shower when we were to drunk.

So your friendship is definitely at a level you feel she can handle this, and that you need to tell her just as a matter of openness?

In any case, I will let it simmer in the back of my head and see what ideas come up, okay? (Sorry, but my brain is a little scattered right now. Brainstorming at the moment tends to shoot my mind into an orbit around Alpha Centauri.)

 

[prplchknz]

That's not really a good indicator of personality type. If she's INTP, she's probably attracted to abstract thinking- philosophy, politics, sciences, economics. NTs like intuitive- non-linear systems- whereas STs are technically better at mechanics- like working computers-engineering-software programming.

Ok I meant how to open the internet or bookmark a page. As well as word shortcuts. Something I think should come easily to anyone whose used a computer for awhile (we went to highschool with a laptop program)

Forget the computer thing. I guess that's not a fair assesment.

 

[Randomnity]

no, but I. I. It just drives me insane. And maybe I'm sterotyping but I can't tell you how many times I've taught her how to use a computer or hook up some electronic for her.

Also I was hoping someone would give me some advice and help me out in coming up with ways to talk to her about it, and what to look for. I'm no expert that's partially why I posted this thread. But I got attacked so sorry for trying, about what right do I have blah blah blah. Look it's not like I met her once, we went to school together we spent everyday of three summer's together. We know each other very well, If she doubts me on something she'll tell me.

Hell we've taken care of eachother drunk and thrown eachother in the shower when we were to drunk.

You are stereotyping. INTPs can be dumb too. (I know, blasphemy, right?). Or not computer-inclined, or whatever.

My intention was not to attack you or imply that you don't know your friend, but only to point out that I find the action of doubting someone's stated type (mind, this is not the same as presenting a reasoned argument against it) a bit foolish and presumptuous.

 

[prplchknz]

*note to self* if been awake longer then 17 hours do not attempt to re type people. No one will get you, and think you are a bitch.

I'm still doubting it, but I'll continue to, and not say anything let her either prove me wrong and actually turn out to be an INTP or prove me right and be some other type.

The thing is she's not dumb at all, she's actually really smart.

 

[hotmale]

Ok I meant how to open the internet or bookmark a page. As well as word shortcuts. Something I think should come easily to anyone whose used a computer for awhile (we went to highschool with a laptop program)

Forget the computer thing. I guess that's not a fair assesment.

Well, it's hard to say, since we live in a technocratic age. Being technically proficient at computers is probably most indicative of Gen Y. I've also known many STs (including myself) who are also interested in abstract thinking and also many ISTJs, so I suppose that's really dependent on your level of education.

Perhaps analyze her writing style and how she engages in debate with others. SFs usually become personally offended when someone disagrees with their opinions, and probably most NFs as well. Then again, this is based on my pure observations.

 

[prplchknz]

Well, it's hard to say, since we live in a technocratic age. Being technically proficient at computers is probably most indicative of Gen Y. I've also known many STs (including myself) who are also interested in abstract thinking and also many ISTJs, so I suppose that's really dependent on your level of education.

Perhaps analyze her writing style and how she engages in debate with others. SFs usually become personally offended when someone disagrees with their opinions, and probably most NFs as well. Then again, this is based on my pure observations.

I can do that.

 

[The_Liquid_Laser]

She might come across as SJ because of her upbringing. Also some people are just really hard to type. There are quite a few that don't fit closely into one of the 16 prescribed categories.

 

[kristin]

*note to self* if been awake longer then 17 hours do not attempt to re type people. No one will get you, and think you are a bitch.

I'm still doubting it, but I'll continue to, and not say anything let her either prove me wrong and actually turn out to be an INTP or prove me right and be some other type.

The thing is she's not dumb at all, she's actually really smart.

Try not to feel judged - I don't think anyone here is making a judgement about you as a person - if they are, it would be unfair to do so, considering we don't really know you. It seems as most of the people here are just trying to better understand your motives for wanting to *convice* your friend that she has been mistyped before they analyze your main concern - whether your friend is indeed an INTP or not. Much of that, I think, comes from the issues and problems we have dealt with in our own lives when being too brutally honest with others and/or involving ourselves too much in a friend's life. I know in my own case, being too involved, however well intentioned, has cost me at least one good friendship. This is especially an issue if your friend is really a Feeler. I think a lot of it also comes from our need to understand the "big picture" before we focus in on a more detailed issue (especially since most posts have come from N personality types.)

So the following points are made purely from an intellectual curiosity standpoint and not a moral one (since you'll have to deal with the moral issue of whether to convince your friend of her type, the consequences of your choice either way and, more importantly, since you are asking us for advice about her type and not what decision you should make with the information.)

1) I consider the fact that she has chosen pharmacy as her major mostly irrelevant, especially since you think she may have outside motives for doing so. The reason is that, especially if this is her first career choice, people often choose careers that do not fit their personality type well. Or she may like the classes for the intellectual component, but find out when she enters the job force that she doesn't really like the career at all.

2) I think it would be much easier, instead of trying to guess her MBTI type, to start with finding the temperament that best describes her. (NF, NT, SP, SJ). At her worst, is she.... boring and inflexible? Impulsive and irresponsible? Overly emotional and moody? Arrogant and off to herself? What about her best qualities? What attracts you to her as a friend? Is she dependable? Fun? Understanding? Confident and witty? If you could provide some more details about her personality, other than her academic/career interests, it would help greatly. You've said she's imitative - it's a start but we need more information.

3) What does she like to talk about, outside of her pharmacy program? Does she tend to talk a lot about other people and her relationships with them? Or does she talk mostly about ideas, thoughts, etc.? Does she talk more about future possibilities or does she have trouble seeing beyond today?

Provide as much info you can - otherwise we're taking a stab in the dark here

 

[prplchknz]

Try not to feel judged - I don't think anyone here is making a judgement about you as a person - if they are, it would be unfair to do so, considering we don't really know you. It seems as most of the people here are just trying to better understand your motives for wanting to *convice* your friend that she has been mistyped before they analyze your main concern - whether your friend is indeed an INTP or not. Much of that, I think, comes from the issues and problems we have dealt with in our own lives when being too brutally honest with others and/or involving ourselves too much in a friend's life. I know in my own case, being too involved, however well intentioned, has cost me at least one good friendship. This is especially an issue if your friend is really a Feeler. I think a lot of it also comes from our need to understand the "big picture" before we focus in on a more detailed issue (especially since most posts have come from N personality types.)

So the following points are made purely from an intellectual curiosity standpoint and not a moral one (since you'll have to deal with the moral issue of whether to convince your friend of her type, the consequences of your choice either way and, more importantly, since you are asking us for advice about her type and not what decision you should make with the information.)

1) I consider the fact that she has chosen pharmacy as her major mostly irrelevant, especially since you think she may have outside motives for doing so. The reason is that, especially if this is her first career choice, people often choose careers that do not fit their personality type well. Or she may like the classes for the intellectual component, but find out when she enters the job force that she doesn't really like the career at all.

2) I think it would be much easier, instead of trying to guess her MBTI type, to start with finding the temperament that best describes her. (NF, NT, SP, SJ). At her worst, is she.... boring and inflexible? Impulsive and irresponsible? Overly emotional and moody? Arrogant and off to herself? What about her best qualities? What attracts you to her as a friend? Is she dependable? Fun? Understanding? Confident and witty? If you could provide some more details about her personality, other than her academic/career interests, it would help greatly. You've said she's imitative - it's a start but we need more information.

3) What does she like to talk about, outside of her pharmacy program? Does she tend to talk a lot about other people and her relationships with them? Or does she talk mostly about ideas, thoughts, etc.? Does she talk more about future possibilities or does she have trouble seeing beyond today?

Provide as much info you can - otherwise we're taking a stab in the dark here

2)at her worse, I find her to be stubborn, she tends to get overwhelmed by new ideas. She's always hugging people (only her friends though) and telling them how much she loves them and how she's going to miss them. I remember one time at Tropical Smoothie, Our friend and I wanted to go get go get food as we already found a place to sit, we both went to go leave and she was like "No stay, I don't want to be alone" The other friend who likes to be alone and tested INTP (and I he fits the description) as well was like "We're going down stairs to get food, we'll be right back" he ended up giving me the money and I ordered for him. She's a very talented opera singer, and loves performing (but I can see how people from all types could be that). She has a very addictive personality, I don't think that would apply strictly to a type. She loves gay men (but really what girl doesn't?), and she was upset when she found dumbledore was gay because she had a crush on him. She has a habit of getting into abusive relationships, she can sometimes annoy me. When I'm at home from school and she is aswell we meet at Borders which is a 30 minute drive. In highschool I'd be on my way and she'd call and I'd be five minutes away and she'd be like I changed my mind I don't want to anything. She'll promise me something but then won't follow through. She has a terrible sense of direction, she'd get lost if their wasn't either someone else in the car or someone she could follow. She likes to bake and decorate cakes, and they're pretty. She's a perfectionist. We both have the same taste in guys, we both like the same tv shows. I've known her so long I can't say why I like her, except she's a good friend and we look out for each other.

3.)She tends to pass judgements on what people are wearing, or whatever random things. Lately she's been philosphizing more then she use to, In the past I would try to philosophize with her and it wouldn't work. She's always asking what song lyrics mean, about how fat she is and how skinny people are happy. Even though I try to tell her that she'll never be happy with that outlook on life. She picks stuff based on aesthetics more then function. Our other friend and I will be like "ummm ok. But what's it for/ couldn't you have just done that instead" she's like "yeah but it's pretty, see" then points out something on it. I can be like this but I normally only do that if the product isn't expensive. She asked us how to talk to the bank teller once. I don't know how to answer that um just talk. and We were right their, and the lady was staring at us.


I'll add more if I think of it. Also I think I was sleep deprived so she could be INTP, the more I think about it I can see how she can fit. She's defiently on the border for some. but my brain with lack of sleep thinks every thing's a conspiracy, and all tests lie and our wrong.

 

[ptgatsby]

2)at her worse, I find her to be stubborn, she tends to get overwhelmed by new ideas. She's always hugging people (only her friends though) and telling them how much she loves them and how she's going to miss them. I remember one time at Tropical Smoothie, Our friend and I wanted to go get go get food as we already found a place to sit, we both went to go leave and she was like "No stay, I don't want to be alone" The other friend who likes to be alone and tested INTP (and I he fits the description) as well was like "We're going down stairs to get food, we'll be right back" he ended up giving me the money and I ordered for him. She's a very talented opera singer, and loves performing (but I can see how people from all types could be that). She has a very addictive personality, I don't think that would apply strictly to a type. She loves gay men (but really what girl doesn't?), and she was upset when she found dumbledore was gay because she had a crush on him. She has a habit of getting into abusive relationships, she can sometimes annoy me. When I'm at home from school and she is aswell we meet at Borders which is a 30 minute drive. In highschool I'd be on my way and she'd call and I'd be five minutes away and she'd be like I changed my mind I don't want to anything. She'll promise me something but then won't follow through. She has a terrible sense of direction, she'd get lost if their wasn't either someone else in the car or someone she could follow. She likes to bake and decorate cakes, and they're pretty. She's a perfectionist. We both have the same taste in guys, we both like the same tv shows. I've known her so long I can't say why I like her, except she's a good friend and we look out for each other.

Sounds... INTJ.

(Don't hurt me dear!)

 

[prplchknz]

Maybe INTJ. I'm re reading all descriptions as their mentioned to me.

also before she graduated she got very upset about how we'd all move on and we never see each other again.She for the longest time wanted to be a music major and goes to Belmont which has one of the best music programs. Sometimes she talks about the future, yea she does talk about the future.

problem with typing other people, is it's so hard to do, only so much is given to us. I could not type her for the longest time, and I still can't which may mean she's INTP or an XXXX. Especially when you have no confidence in your own type. I tend to be happy typing someone and moving on. Once that's done and I'm satisfied with the results I'll never bring it up too them again unless they ask or want to discuss. I'm not an expert.

 

[Nonpareil]

Sounds... INTJ.

(Don't hurt me dear!)

I love you dear. See you after work....

Seriously, I haven't been reading all the posts in this thread, just skimming it. So I'm sorry if I'm being redundant.

I'm not sure how old she is, but maybe she's still just developing her personality. I find that even I (and INTJ) tends to shadow my good friends too, and pt does act somewhat differently around his friends - and it varies depending on which friend or friends he is with.

Why not introduce her to MBTIc and maybe you can see another side to her?

Just a random suggestion....

 

[INTJMom]

*note to self* if been awake longer then 17 hours do not attempt to re type people. No one will get you, and think you are a b...

Poor you. That's awful. I would feel the same way, too if I were in your shoes. I probably would have sworn off this forum forever though and never come back again - so bravo to you for hanging in there.

2)at her worse, I find her to be stubborn, she tends to get overwhelmed by new ideas. She's always hugging people (only her friends though) and telling them how much she loves them and how she's going to miss them. I remember one time at Tropical Smoothie, Our friend and I wanted to go get go get food as we already found a place to sit, we both went to go leave and she was like "No stay, I don't want to be alone" The other friend who likes to be alone and tested INTP (and I he fits the description) as well was like "We're going down stairs to get food, we'll be right back" he ended up giving me the money and I ordered for him. She's a very talented opera singer, and loves performing (but I can see how people from all types could be that). She has a very addictive personality, I don't think that would apply strictly to a type. She loves gay men (but really what girl doesn't?), and she was upset when she found dumbledore was gay because she had a crush on him. She has a habit of getting into abusive relationships, she can sometimes annoy me. When I'm at home from school and she is aswell we meet at Borders which is a 30 minute drive. In highschool I'd be on my way and she'd call and I'd be five minutes away and she'd be like I changed my mind I don't want to anything. She'll promise me something but then won't follow through. She has a terrible sense of direction, she'd get lost if their wasn't either someone else in the car or someone she could follow. She likes to bake and decorate cakes, and they're pretty. She's a perfectionist. We both have the same taste in guys, we both like the same tv shows. I've known her so long I can't say why I like her, except she's a good friend and we look out for each other.

3.)She tends to pass judgements on what people are wearing, or whatever random things. Lately she's been philosphizing more then she use to, In the past I would try to philosophize with her and it wouldn't work. She's always asking what song lyrics mean, about how fat she is and how skinny people are happy. Even though I try to tell her that she'll never be happy with that outlook on life. She picks stuff based on aesthetics more then function. Our other friend and I will be like "ummm ok. But what's it for/ couldn't you have just done that instead" she's like "yeah but it's pretty, see" then points out something on it. I can be like this but I normally only do that if the product isn't expensive. She asked us how to talk to the bank teller once. I don't know how to answer that um just talk. and We were right their, and the lady was staring at us.

I'll add more if I think of it. Also I think I was sleep deprived so she could be INTP, the more I think about it I can see how she can fit. She's defiently on the border for some. but my brain with lack of sleep thinks every thing's a conspiracy, and all tests lie and our wrong.

I think your friend is an ISTJ, and yeah they can be stub-born!
My INFP sister is a pretty good judge of types, but not when she's emotionally involved.
Like she thinks our drill sargent ISTJ mother is an INFJ. She thinks our ST father is an NF. It irritates the daylights out of me (yes, I know how you feel) because I know she's wrong!

When you say your friend is a perfectionist, that puzzles me. Surely you don't mean she is a perfectionist in the same way that you are? As far as I am aware, NFs are the most likely perfectionists. INTJs are also perfectionists. Or did you mean that she can spend hours and hours patiently doing detailed work, like decorating a cake, making a collage, making 100 tiny braids in someone's hair.

Since it seems like you're sort of asking for more input about type, here's a great site with a simple test. Maybe it will help you with the basic foundational aspects of type. But wait till you're rested.

Personality Type Quiz - Discover your type!

 

[prplchknz]

I don't know why I was complaining this morning. I normally go to bed 2 3 4 in the morning and wake up 7 or 8 am the next day. I think It's cuz I normally drink tuesday thursday friday saturday nights and I hadn't had a drink since saturday and didn't get drunk. So this whole being sober thing is getting to me. I don't see how people don't drink at all. Anyways back to my friend.

And I mean she's a perfectionist in where she makes collages or makes 100 beads. She'll spend hours on something to make it perfect. and sit their making things for it. She likes knitting.

 

[Varelse]

And I mean she's a perfectionist in where she makes collages or makes 100 beads. She'll spend hours on something to make it perfect. and sit their making things for it. She likes knitting.

I can be perfectionistic on some things...drawings and computer-related projects.

 

[Recluse]

I can be perfectionistic on some things...drawings and computer-related projects.

Did you design your own avatar?

 

[prplchknz]

if so, you want to possibly design me one. please

 

[INTJMom]

...And I mean she's a perfectionist in where she makes collages or makes 100 beads. She'll spend hours on something to make it perfect. and sit their making things for it. She likes knitting.

My ISTJ daughter can spend 10 hours patiently braiding her whole head of hair. It literally takes a whole day, if you count stopping to eat. But she's not a perfectionist in that she has said to me before - when I am fussing over something - "Mom, it doesn't have to be perfect." She is painstaking, but she can live with little imperfections. It's not really the same thing. A perfectionist would cry in frustration and say, "... but I wanted it to be perfect !"

I guess it's hard to tell the difference.

 

[Wolf]

Look at all the hopeless ISTPs and ISTJs that think they're INTPs (mostly) or INTJs (and we know it's bullshit). They won't budge, either.

Just disregard it (and them), like I do.