[INTJ] A Playful INTJ? Whaa...

[Haight]

I was going to suggest INTP based on how I can relate to roughly 70% of the initial description.

That would be my guess as well. Or eNTP.

 

[neptunesnet]

I was going to suggest INTP based on how I can relate to roughly 70% of the initial description.

What parts could you relate to?

 

[Matthew_Z]

What parts could you relate to?

Everything Bolded. Strikeout is no relation. Everything else I can relate to on some sense, but not necessarily as you have described. Slight commentary attached.

Some characteristics of my friend that lead me to believe he's NOT an INTJ:

• likes to fit in
• always cracking a joke so that he can fit in (I use humor because it keeps my stress level down, not to fit in.)

Some characteristics that make me believe that he IS an INTJ:

• most of his jokes are quite clever (I enjoy most of them) (or so I like to think)
• many of his other jokes are insensitive (these are the ones I don't laugh at and I make sure to tell him why I didn't like that particular joke even though I usually get a :rolli: from him)
• he's very efficient, and he's very critical (I can follow both of those somewhat)
• he doesn't realize that he's being critical. I sincerely think he means to help the person although most of the time his advice is unwarranted. (I've gotten this one a lot of in life. However, I think I realize it most of the time now.)
• he makes a habit out of being insensitive, especially for the sake of a joke (Meh, sometimes)
• If I comment on how smart he is, he gets really shy and says something to the extent of "whatever. I'm no different from anyone else" when he clearly is <sigh>. (usually)
• he's introverted only because I've seen his room. It looks like a cave set up solely for him to think, read, and do work. His "bed" is literally like a cot. Who knows if he actually sleeps on that thing? (I use my bed for storage space and sleep on the floor, honestly.)
• outside of classes he hardly ever goes anywhere. (why leave when you have the internet?)
• he thinks he can take advantage of my kindness. I honestly think he sees it as a sign of weakness. He'll ask me to do something for him that he knows I won't do. I always reject him (nicely), but he keeps asking me like he doesn't care that I don't want to do it. (I may test it, but not for the purposes of taking advantage of.)
• (this probably isn't type-related, but here goes anyway) he has (something that I think is often mistaken for) an anger problem. When someone touches his personal belongings, he freaks. Like full-blown hissy fit. The weird part, though, is that he's completely fine after a couple of hours. He starts talking to the person like nothing ever happened. (Hissy fit only applies when people go through my stuff without being granted permission.)
  
  Or whenever he disagrees with one of our professors (really any authority figure over him), he gets into this weird mood where he doesn't want to talk to anyone, and he paces back and forth so as to either calm himself or reason out in his head why he's right and the instructor/authority figure is wrong--scariest thing about him. Seriously. (I may be figuring out how to prove my case, but that doesn't end up with me alienating everyone I know. As a general rule, I also don't focus on me being "right" and the other person "wrong" as much as I focus on there being some ground for compromise, such as the "authority figure" having a good idea, but executed poorly.)

 

[neptunesnet]

Everything Bolded. Strikeout is no relation. Everything else I can relate to on some sense, but not necessarily as you have described. Slight commentary attached.

Isn't everything you bolded typically what NTs and STJs have in common?
As far as I can see, you agreed with everything up to a point.
I was having more of a problem distinguishing between whether he was N or S.

The fitting-in part is kind of essential. He wants people to like him.
I think because he's a little on the strange side I thought he might be N (you have to admit we all are), but he could just be a good ol' ISTJ (s.a.r.c.a.s.m.)


Another Thing:
I, too, get really upset when my things are touched without someone getting permission to touch them, but he gets furious if you touch his things even after he has deliberately taken something from you (in jest, probably). It's kind of childish, really. It may just be an individual quirk.

 

[Economica]

• he tries to conceal the fact that he's brilliant. If I comment on how smart he is, he gets really shy and says something to the extent of "whatever. I'm no different from anyone else" when he clearly is <sigh>.
  
  (...)
  
  
• Or whenever he disagrees with one of our professors (really any authority figure over him), he gets into this weird mood where he doesn't want to talk to anyone, and he paces back and forth so as to either calm himself or reason out in his head why he's right and the instructor/authority figure is wrong--scariest thing about him. Seriously.

(...) one of my very good friends is an INFJ, and he is, in no small exaggeration, obsessed with her. He's always complimenting her on how smart, beautiful, and perfect she is.

All of the above are strikes against INTJ IMO. For the first two I'd go with INTP instead; they're the ones who are diffident about their intelligence and who can get worked up on account of new input that seemingly contradicts their worldview and need to spend hours reasoning out (using Ti) how their worldview could still be right (whereas Ni either just blocks out the input or rationalizes it with lightning speed). I'm not sure whether an INTP could be responsible for the excessive and unwelcome compliments, but I can say that it doesn't sound like any of the manifestations of INTJ attempted romancing that I've witnessed.

Edit: Oh, and the jokes speak for INTP over INTJ as well. We can be light-hearted, but we just don't have the ingenuity to crack (funny!) jokes all the time.

Second edit:

Now that I think about he generally speaks in very exact and concrete terms and gets exasperated whenever I try to "explore" an idea. I've never really had this problem with my other SJ friends (that's probably because they're all SFJ), so maybe's he's a strong S then.

Precision of language is very INTP. (What do you mean by concrete terms?) The exasperation could be Ti disinterest in, if not disrespect for, an incompatible approach to idea exploration.

Third edit! neptunesnet, how do you reconcile your belief that he wants to fit in with the insensitive jokes and criticism you describe?

 

[jenocyde]

I know a lot of warm and funny INTJs. Edgar, for one, is not at all what you might expect. He's a real sweetheart with a great sense of humor in person. (sorry for blowing up your spot, Edgar)

Also, a lot of NJs get irritated with NPs and our theories. Annoyance at our need to drag things on and on can come from anyone, not just SJs.

At the end of the day, it doesn't really matter. If he's a nice guy, that's his type.

 

[Litvyak]

But feel free to demostraight live - the whole I'm right thing

Wow. It seems not only INTJs are humorless after all
Feel free to think that disagreeing with authority figures is a typical SJ trait, whatever.

ISTJ's are the playful ones.

LOL

And freaks out about it.

It comes off to me as perseverness and self-certification.

 

[tinkerbell]

Wow. It seems not only INTJs are humorless after all
Feel free to think that disagreeing with authority figures is a typical SJ trait, whatever.

.

I'm not saying it's all SJ, just on balance with the data he sounds like an SJ... It's really easy as a N to see others as an N.......

Scores for the UK were from a telephone omnibus, similar enough to web profile data (although on web it gives 10% as NT)
Chance of being SJ = UK 56%, ISTJ = 11%
Chance of being NT = UK 5%, INTJ = 1%

So fairly big chance of mis atributation....

Lis

 

[neptunesnet]

Third edit! neptunesnet, how do you reconcile your belief that he wants to fit in with the insensitive jokes and criticism you describe?

Well, his criticism is supposed to be constructive, but it comes off as condescending and imposing to others. Also, the way I see it is if I have something funny to say that I know will offend someone I'll keep it to myself and probaby smirk to myself, but he makes a big show of it. Everyone must hear it and enjoy it. Oh, and God forbid if someone gets upset that he just trivialized the Holocaust in one of his witticisms. What he does is not the ENTP light-hearted way of joking nor is it the INTP one-liner type thing either. There's a certain crudeness to it that's pretty distasteful.

The problem with him is he's always trying to get a laugh. I couldn't imagine why else but to fit in that he'd want to joke about Jews with other eighteen year old boys? Appprently, that's in vogue now. Sometimes, I just want to grab his collar and ask, "Can't you be serious about ANYTHING?" Yet, he still manages to be focused on getting things done and efficiency. It's hard to explain, but I'm really trying my best to illustrate it here.


@jenocyde

I'm hesitant to say that he's a "nice" guy, but I consider him a friend and I want to understand him better. There are people who really don't like him and avoid him, but I've known him for years. I can't just blow him off. He does have his good traits.


Oh! Might I add for the record, too, that he has a tendency to be very aggressive/touchy feely with girls. Asking for hugs and finding ways to touch us and stuff. It's kinda strange and turns off some girls that we know.
I mean, I know he's young, but really, man?

 

[JustHer]

INTJs are playful! In their own awkward special little way.

 

[Economica]

Okay, what you describe there sounds more INTJ, but with regard to his humor, didn't you say in the OP that you find most of his jokes to be quite clever and enjoyable?

Edit: Has anyone asked yet whether you have considered asking him what type he is?

 

[poppy]

Yeah. I'm thinking SJ now, too.
The dream description would kind of obviously make him S, right?

No.



INTJs can be descriptive. Some of us are rather artsy even, and willing to recreate our internal vistas of colorful perception for you. In fact it would be very strange for an ISTJ to describe a dream to you, in my experience. My best friend is one, and I'm pretty sure she's never told me a single dream she had.

Now that I think about he generally speaks in very exact and concrete terms and gets exasperated whenever I try to "explore" an idea. I've never really had this problem with my other SJ friends (that's probably because they're all SFJ), so maybe's he's a strong S then.
...I'm going to have to do some more observing.

I may be biased, but I'd just like to say that I sometimes have issues with the way that NFs explore ideas. I mean, don't get me wrong, I lub you guys to death, but I will never forget the time my INFP friend asked me if I thought that flowers wondered whether or not they're beautiful.

Er... I do kind of think of the most inopportune times to talk about my ideas. This can get in the way of efficiency, and if he were an INTJ it would annoy him that I was wasting time conceptualizing instead working (!)

INTJs please correct me if I'm wrong.

You are quite correct


But anyway, I just wanted to stop by and mention those points, since I feel like it would be rather faulty to type someone based on them.

 

[tinkerbell]

No.



INTJs can be descriptive. Some of us are rather artsy even, and willing to recreate our internal vistas of colorful perception for you. In fact it would be very strange for an ISTJ to describe a dream to you, in my experience. My best friend is one, and I'm pretty sure she's never told me a single dream she had.
.

the whole point is that this person couldn't describe the dream.... hence evidence of abstract thought/language ...

I just don't get why we don't just get him to do the test..

 

[Cranky]

On the plus list... INTJ's I know don't tell jokes - or should I say their jokes are so unfunny they don't really classify.

Nor do they try to hide being bright, nor do they reall try to fit in or be overly talkative... INTJs I know are pretty reserved unless they are in company they know veyr well and are very relaxed.

My jokes are always funny to at least one person.

And the reserved thing is true, unless I'm at a bar. Parties aren't really all that fun for me.

 

[Jaguar]

^ Hey hey. I tell funny jokes. It's just nobody gets them.

Somehow I don't think I would have a problem getting your jokes. Lol.

 

[ThatGirl]

I have a friend who is INTJ.

I think...

I've actually been going between whether or not he's INTJ, ENTJ, ISTJ, or ESTJ. For him to be an INTJ, his I would have to be very balanced and his N pretty weak. I really think he's an INTJ for some reason even though I can never be too sure.

That's Why You're Here! To Help Me!



YAY.


Some characteristics of my friend that lead me to believe he's NOT an INTJ:

• likes to fit in
• always cracking a joke so that he can fit in
• appears more talkative than what I've heard of INTJs generally

Some characteristics that make me believe that he IS an INTJ:

• most of his jokes are quite clever (I enjoy most of them)
• many of his other jokes are insensitive (these are the ones I don't laugh at and I make sure to tell him why I didn't like that particular joke even though I usually get a :rolli: from him)
• he's very efficient, and he's very critical
• he doesn't realize that he's being critical. I sincerely think he means to help the person although most of the time his advice is unwarranted.
• he makes a habit out of being insensitive, especially for the sake of a joke
• he's absolutely brilliant (brilliance isn't type-related, but his is truly exceptional. ...I envy it )
• he tries to conceal the fact that he's brilliant. If I comment on how smart he is, he gets really shy and says something to the extent of "whatever. I'm no different from anyone else" when he clearly is <sigh>.
• he's introverted only because I've seen his room. It looks like a cave set up solely for him to think, read, and do work. His "bed" is literally like a cot. Who knows if he actually sleeps on that thing?
• outside of classes he hardly ever goes anywhere.
• he thinks he can take advantage of my kindness. I honestly think he sees it as a sign of weakness. He'll ask me to do something for him that he knows I won't do. I always reject him (nicely), but he keeps asking me like he doesn't care that I don't want to do it.
• (this probably isn't type-related, but here goes anyway) he has (something that I think is often mistaken for) an anger problem. When someone touches his personal belongings, he freaks. Like full-blown hissy fit. The weird part, though, is that he's completely fine after a couple of hours. He starts talking to the person like nothing ever happened. Or whenever he disagrees with one of our professors (really any authority figure over him), he gets into this weird mood where he doesn't want to talk to anyone, and he paces back and forth so as to either calm himself or reason out in his head why he's right and the instructor/authority figure is wrong--scariest thing about him. Seriously.

I hope some of this helped you get a better picture of my friend. It's really difficult to tell since he is the only INTJ I know/ever met. If he is after all an INTJ.

...
Oh!
I should probably take this time to tell you that one of my very good friends is an INFJ, and he is, in no small exaggeration, obsessed with her. He's always complimenting her on how smart, beautiful, and perfect she is. I've silently gagged a few times during this overt display of verbal affection, but he keeps doing it like it's the most normal thing in this world. She hates it when he does it but is too nice to tell him because they were friends before he started doing this... thing. Personally, it makes me , but I'd never tell her that.
Uh I'm not sure an INTJ would do this to someone he liked?


So tell me what you think of my frieeennnd!

Sounded freakishly like myself.

 

[Misty_Mountain_Rose]

I would like to add to this thread that I'm an INTJ, and very difficult to type because I happen to be a 4w5 INTJ. I do nutty things, I make a scene and act like an idiot sometimes. I'm called playful, silly and sometimes evil depending on what I'm getting into. I've even been seen as an airhead because my drive to 'be remembered' sometimes overtakes the serious minded half of me. I've never been afraid to be playful and funny. I was a class clown when I was a child... and in some ways I may have never outgrown it. I HAVE at least become more aware of why I'm acting that way and can tone it down sometimes, but its always there.

Just sayin'

 

[neptunesnet]

Okay, what you describe there sounds more INTJ, but with regard to his humor, didn't you say in the OP that you find most of his jokes to be quite clever and enjoyable?

Edit: Has anyone asked yet whether you have considered asking him what type he is?

Argh! IalreadysaidthatIthinkhisjokesarefunnymostofthetime!
NOT when they're insensitive.
He's usually very punny.
I like puns.
We're a match made in pun heaven.
But he also tells insensitive jokes. Typically when we're around other people. I don't like those onesonesonesones.

Got it?

I know he doesn't know anything about typology because I've already asked him and gave the "hey! you should look into it" advice. He never did.

INTJs can be descriptive. Some of us are rather artsy even, and willing to recreate our internal vistas of colorful perception for you. In fact it would be very strange for an ISTJ to describe a dream to you, in my experience. My best friend is one, and I'm pretty sure she's never told me a single dream she had.

Okay.
I know.
But the point was he focused more on how everything looked as opposed to what everything meant. But yeah. I don't think an ISTJ would talk about his dreams either.

I may be biased, but I'd just like to say that I sometimes have issues with the way that NFs explore ideas. I mean, don't get me wrong, I lub you guys to death, but I will never forget the time my INFP friend asked me if I thought that flowers wondered whether or not they're beautiful.

Yep.
I get the impression that he thinks I'm ridiculous.
Like anything I suggest is for goofy people who feel too much, and my idealism to him is.. well, stupid :rolli:. Which is weird that I get that from him since he adores the INFJ I was talking about earlier in the OP who is much more open about her idealism than I am. Anyway, I'll give an example to better illustrate what goes down between us.
A couple years ago, I was at the library reading, and he texted me and asked what I was doing. I told him I was in the library reading. He then asked what I was reading, and I told him Achebe's Things Fall Apart. Turns out he'd "heard about that book" and went on a tangent via text (weird, I know) about how overrated the story is. According to him, though it was "acclaimed for its archetypal/universal portayal of man" (or something to that effect) it is purely regional and thus has no relevance in broad literature courses.
I was like, "Well, dang. Did you actually read/study the book?"
And his response?
"Uh no, but--"
And that was alllllll I needed to know. It annoyed the heck! out of me. He always seems either to have mislead opinions on trivial things or no opinion at all on anything political/global/big picture stuff because he "might actually start to care." Yep. He said that. wtf?

the whole point is that this person couldn't describe the dream.... hence evidence of abstract thought/language ...

I just don't get why we don't just get him to do the test..

Uh actually he could describe the dream. He just didn't want to explore why he had it or what the meaning of the dream was.

I'm not going to make someone take a test they think is "silly."

 

[neptunesnet]

Sounded freakishly like myself.

I love how you called yourself "absolutely brilliant."
Aye, it takes guts.

 

[poppy]

Yep.
I get the impression that he thinks I'm ridiculous.
Like anything I suggest is for goofy people who feel too much, and my idealism to him is.. well, stupid :rolli:. Which is weird that I get that from him since he adores the INFJ I was talking about earlier in the OP who is much more open about her idealism than I am. Anyway, I'll give an example to better illustrate what goes down between us.
A couple years ago, I was at the library reading, and he texted me and asked what I was doing. I told him I was in the library reading. He then asked what I was reading, and I told him Achebe's Things Fall Apart. Turns out he'd "heard about that book" and went on a tangent via text (weird, I know) about how overrated the story is. According to him, though it was "acclaimed for its archetypal/universal portayal of man" (or something to that effect) it is purely regional and thus has no relevance in broad literature courses.
I was like, "Well, dang. Did you actually read/study the book?"
And his response?
"Uh no, but--"
And that was alllllll I needed to know. It annoyed the heck! out of me. He always seems either to have mislead opinions on trivial things or no opinion at all on anything political/global/big picture stuff because he "might actually start to care." Yep. He said that. wtf?

Lol. Sounds like an ENTJ to me