[INTJ] The (often-misunderstood) INTJ Idea Of Romance, with examples and illustrations.

[runvardh]

What does full license mean? Is it a Canadian thing? Are there gradations?

For drivers license, yes, or at least that's the system in my province.

 

[Cranky]

For drivers license, yes, or at least that's the system in my province.

How old do you have to be to get a driver's license there?

 

[runvardh]

How old do you have to be to get a driver's license there?

I've heard 14 thrown around for the farm kids, but 16 is usually the start. If you do it right away and do everything right a person should have the full license by 18. Same rules in the province I grew up in, but I didn't have the help or the resources I needed. This has forced me to have to do everything on my own.

 

[Uytuun]

intjs, do you WANT to be forced to express yourself (and thereby feel the intense excitement of having to TRY to communicate your feelings and have them spill out and make you want to throw up from nerves) or do you prefer someone who just gets them without articulation?

expression is very very important to me. as an Fe user it makes things more real. it doesn't have to be direct, but it has to come from the space of feeling for it to be feeling. at times it is difficult to recognize the acts of service when they are so in the language of Te and Fi has been but the first premise of a long geometrical proof.

at times with my intj, i think we struggle with my need for expression and her need for implicit let's move on action-oriented understanding. when i use Ti better, most problems in this regard dissipate, bc i can balance linear thinking to understand the TRACK of her actions as a form of expression rather than solely focusing on the style, voice, holism of the way we RELATE (thru expressions and articulations of self).

Forced, no, but I enjoy being around FJs because they make it easier for me to open up. Welcoming Fe is reassuring.

What if you were told what was needed, what was covered, and given the time to get ready? With out being told exactly what was going to happen...

I'd be good to go in 15 minutes for a trip. Provided I had no other obligations (work included...and I don't think I would appreciate someone else arranging time off from work for me - who knows what I was planning to do...if I'd been whining about work being slow, then maybe, but on principle, I wouldn't enjoy it). And one bag tops. 15 minutes is plenty to grab the essentials and some clothes. Windblown hair, blushy cheeks and a hoodie beat heels anyway. And if the dude in question has a problem with my eyebrows not being tweezered perfectly...he's the wrong dude.

 

[Gewitter27]

I'm not an INTJ, but I personally get the 'RUN' instinct. I try to avoid any situation. Of course, I'm only talking about my one and so far only occurence (I never told her, and never intended to). I just feel too fragile about it. About that sort of stuff in general. I don't want to avoid it all the time, but I believe I just have to. If something happened now I'd just brush it off and never think about it, because my Depression has skewed my self image enough to make me feel like a loathsome creature. I KNOW that nobody would ever want me in any way, and just detatch myself from the situation entirely.

 

[ceecee]

What if you were told what was needed, what was covered, and given the time to get ready? With out being told exactly what was going to happen...

That's fine.

 

[JAVO]

...or hiking gear or camping equipment...

I'm predictable. People always need to bring this when they go somewhere with me.

 

[runvardh]

I'd be good to go in 15 minutes for a trip. Provided I had no other obligations (work included...and I don't think I would appreciate someone else arranging time off from work for me - who knows what I was planning to do...if I'd been whining about work being slow, then maybe, but on principle, I wouldn't enjoy it). And one bag tops. 15 minutes is plenty to grab the essentials and some clothes. Windblown hair, blushy cheeks and a hoodie beat heels anyway. And if the dude in question has a problem with my eyebrows not being tweezered perfectly...he's the wrong dude.

15? Nice! I alwas figured someone who cared would make sure the time was clear before springing it on the other.

That's fine.

Something tells me you've been in that situation before and it's gone relatively well.

 

[jawz]

I find it terribly romantic that my INTJ is so incredibly nice to me. He's such a monster to everyone.

 

[brainheart]

You'd think so. Unless you're us, and feeling completely ILL at the notion of having to get that out of your face.

We're not feeling adorable when confessing to feelings (especially if we're unsure about whether they're returned). We have a churning stomach, a headache, vertigo, a pounding heart, and our feet are probably numb.

It is NOT pleasant.

I'm like this, too. Don't you think it's just an introvert thing? At least those with Fi vs Fe?

 

[brainheart]

You're lucky you weren't dating another INTJ... My reactions would have been:

1. Are you going to pay to get these things cleaned up too?
2. Who exactly are you buying these for... me or you?
3. DAMMIT! I'm wearing HEELS! How am I going to dance at a concert in HEELS!

Probably works on other types though.

Not me. I mean, I would admire the effort, and think that aspect of it was sweet, but I would think... what a waste of flowers' lives... and I hope you're going to clean this up. But I would try to be kind about it, because this is the sort of things my husband does. Or wishes he could do, but I tell him not to bother. My poor romantic husband.

 

[Cranky]

I'm like this, too. Don't you think it's just an introvert thing? At least those with Fi vs Fe?

I don't know about you, but I feel like this because I'm having to confront feelings that are FAR outside my usual pattern of communication. In addition, I feel like I'm being judged as worthy or unworthy by the person at the same time. It's absolutely terrifying.

 

[runvardh]

I don't know about you, but I feel like this because I'm having to confront feelings that are FAR outside my usual pattern of communication. In addition, I feel like I'm being judged as worthy or unworthy by the person at the same time. It's absolutely terrifying.

You mean you join the general population temporarily. Feeling judged is normal around you guys, we just get used to it after a while. ^_^

 

[Uytuun]

we just get used to it after a while. ^_^

You shouldn't.

 

[runvardh]

You shouldn't.

... have to, you mean?

I had to get used to being judged all the time, if at the very least to not have mini panic attacks every 20 seconds when out in public.

 

[Kyi]

I am currently dating an INTJ male, whom I met a few months ago. He told me that I was one of the first girls he met here that he doesn't hate immediately and I didn't seem like a zombie like everyone else. I took that as a high compliment. We also share a similar cynical, sarcastic, and shit talking type of humor. The other day he texted me and told me one of his pubes got stuck in the zipper while he was using the bathroom and he thought of me. It's not that romantic, but it made me giggle so that's just as good.

 

[Uytuun]

... have to, you mean?

I had to get used to being judged all the time, if at the very least to not have mini panic attacks every 20 seconds when out in public.

You shouldn't (have to) put up with it, yeah. INTJs can (and probably should) learn to adapt at least to an extent. Engage the Fi and all.

 

[SillySapienne]

The other day he texted me and told me one of his pubes got stuck in the zipper while he was using the bathroom and he thought of me. It's not that romantic, but it made me giggle so that's just as good.

That's awesome!!!!

 

[freedom geek]

My idea of romance is to have another introverted, intelligent, rational, creative and abstract person (an INT but not all INTs would qualify) with similar interests and values (no desire to have children, pro-science and technology, etc) by my side as an equal while we do things such as mad science, take over the world or discuss crazy hypothetical scenarios.

 

[runvardh]

You shouldn't (have to) put up with it, yeah. INTJs can (and probably should) learn to adapt at least to an extent. Engage the Fi and all.

Eh, I typically get it worse from other types; my targeting INTJs initially was partially joking around based on stereotypes. I seem to have been lucky with my INTJ experiences which is why I feel safe enough to poke fun. ^^;;