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[INTJ] The (often-misunderstood) INTJ Idea Of Romance, with examples and illustrations.

Cranky

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intjs, do you WANT to be forced to express yourself (and thereby feel the intense excitement of having to TRY to communicate your feelings and have them spill out and make you want to throw up from nerves) or do you prefer someone who just gets them without articulation?

It's not the expression. It's what happens afterward when the INFP drops you like a rotten potato that we're afraid of.
 

OrangeAppled

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It's not the expression. It's what happens afterward when the INFP drops you like a rotten potato that we're afraid of.

If you check NF threads, INFPs (and most NFs) read affection through words, physical touch, and quality time. Most don't read acts of service and gifts as displays of love. Sure, they are nice, but your sentiment might be flying over their head. Any feeling of being "bought" can be a turn-off also.

Edit: Oh, and I'm not criticizing your pie baking. That's still very sweet :)
 

Cranky

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If you check NF threads, INFPs (and most NFs) read affection through words, physical touch, and quality time. Most don't read acts of service and gifts as displays of love. Sure, they are nice, but your sentiment might be flying over their head. Any feeling of being "bought" can be a turn-off also.

Edit: Oh, and I'm not criticizing your pie baking. That's still very sweet :)

Har. Har. Pie baking...sweet.

I respect your capacity with bad puns and hope to sink to that level some time today in my interactions with others. I'm inspired to create a true groaner.

If I wanted to buy him, I would have offered him money. It would have been far more clear.

"Will you be my Man-Whore of Affection?"

"Huh?"

"Here is legal tender. Hold me."
 

OrangeAppled

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Har. Har. Pie baking...sweet.

I respect your capacity with bad puns and hope to sink to that level some time today in my interactions with others. I'm inspired to create a true groaner.

If I wanted to buy him, I would have offered him money. It would have been far more clear.

"Will you be my Man-Whore of Affection?"

"Huh?"

"Here is legal tender. Hold me."

Except it wasn't a pun. :huh:

But hey, keep doing it your way, and keep watching INFPs run as fast as they can.
 

Cranky

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Except it wasn't a pun. :huh:

But hey, keep doing it your way, and keep watching INFPs run as fast as they can.

I have a new system. Whenever I'm trying to be funny, I will put one of these at the end of a post.

:newwink:

Except I'm being serious about what I'm going to do if I'm trying to be funny, so now I've included the emoticon in a serious post.

What shall I do?
 

runvardh

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Har. Har. Pie baking...sweet.

I respect your capacity with bad puns and hope to sink to that level some time today in my interactions with others. I'm inspired to create a true groaner.

If I wanted to buy him, I would have offered him money. It would have been far more clear.

"Will you be my Man-Whore of Affection?"

"Huh?"

"Here is legal tender. Hold me."

"I don't like to make a habit of accepting money for such things. The tortured knight within cannot allow it."

:D
 

Misty_Mountain_Rose

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I wore a dress once in the spirit of romanticism.

My boyfriend was another INTJ though, so the effort was definately not worth it.

:doh:
 

Misty_Mountain_Rose

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I have a new system. Whenever I'm trying to be funny, I will put one of these at the end of a post.

:newwink:

Except I'm being serious about what I'm going to do if I'm trying to be funny, so now I've included the emoticon in a serious post.

What shall I do?

Cranky - I think you're off the hook. You said you'd put it at the END of the post, and clearly the winking yellow blob is NOT at the end. You're good to go

:nice:
 

Misty_Mountain_Rose

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On Valentine's Day once, I broke into her car at work and scattered a bunch of rose petals all over and put a card on the seat.

I once bought a whole crapload of lingerie and anonymously sent a piece to her in the mail every few weeks over the course of a year. (No, I'm not a stalker, she was my girlfriend :D)

I told her we were going out to dinner. On the way, I said that I had gotten lost and asked her to reach into the glove box and get a map. Inside were tickets for that night to see her favorite band.

See, we can be romantic!

You're lucky you weren't dating another INTJ... My reactions would have been:

1. Are you going to pay to get these things cleaned up too?
2. Who exactly are you buying these for... me or you?
3. DAMMIT! I'm wearing HEELS! How am I going to dance at a concert in HEELS!

Probably works on other types though.

:newwink:
 

Cranky

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You're lucky you weren't dating another INTJ... My reactions would have been:

1. Are you going to pay to get these things cleaned up too?
2. Who exactly are you buying these for... me or you?
3. DAMMIT! I'm wearing HEELS! How am I going to dance at a concert in HEELS!

Probably works on other types though.

:newwink:

Yeah, I'm not all that big into spontaneity. It's not the fun part of it that I don't like, it's the not being prepared part of it.

I wouldn't like having someone try the thing where they show up and say "Jump in the car! We're going to have FUN this weekend!"

I would want to know where we're going, what the weather would be like, if I need indoor or outdoor clothes, whether there's plumbing, what kind of shoes to bring, whether a first-aid kit would come in handy, if I need sunblock, should I bring a camera with an extra memory card and extra batteries, and if I should bring my dancing shoes or bathing suit or hiking gear or camping equipment or laptop or GPS unit or Scotch or shotgun or fishing license or cooler or a picnic lunch.

It isn't fun when you don't have all the stuff you need.
 

Misty_Mountain_Rose

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Yeah, I'm not all that big into spontaneity. It's not the fun part of it that I don't like, it's the not being prepared part of it.

I wouldn't like having someone try the thing where they show up and say "Jump in the car! We're going to have FUN this weekend!"

I would want to know where we're going, what the weather would be like, if I need indoor or outdoor clothes, whether there's plumbing, what kind of shoes to bring, whether a first-aid kit would come in handy, if I need sunblock, should I bring a camera with an extra memory card and extra batteries, and if I should bring my dancing shoes or bathing suit or hiking gear or camping equipment or laptop or GPS unit or Scotch or shotgun or fishing license or cooler or a picnic lunch.

It isn't fun when you don't have all the stuff you need.

LOL ... spoken like a true contingency planner

:nice:

*And I agree*
 

ceecee

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Yeah, I'm not all that big into spontaneity. It's not the fun part of it that I don't like, it's the not being prepared part of it.

I wouldn't like having someone try the thing where they show up and say "Jump in the car! We're going to have FUN this weekend!"

I would want to know where we're going, what the weather would be like, if I need indoor or outdoor clothes, whether there's plumbing, what kind of shoes to bring, whether a first-aid kit would come in handy, if I need sunblock, should I bring a camera with an extra memory card and extra batteries, and if I should bring my dancing shoes or bathing suit or hiking gear or camping equipment or laptop or GPS unit or Scotch or shotgun or fishing license or cooler or a picnic lunch.

It isn't fun when you don't have all the stuff you need.

This is me. This whole thing. I like to be spontaneous but...Deciding to go somewhere for a couple hours or an afternoon..fine. Let me grab a jacket. You announce we are going on a 3 day cruise up Lake Michigan...I have to plan and that takes more than 15 minutes. I love having fun. Honest. But if I'm in heels, don't expect me to go hiking and not make your life completely miserable.
 
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You're lucky you weren't dating another INTJ... My reactions would have been:

1. Are you going to pay to get these things cleaned up too?
2. Who exactly are you buying these for... me or you?
3. DAMMIT! I'm wearing HEELS! How am I going to dance at a concert in HEELS!

Probably works on other types though.

:newwink:

1. Cleaned 'em up myself.
2. Valid, I must admit.
3. Girl didn't own heels. One of my favorite things about her :)
 

runvardh

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Yeah, I'm not all that big into spontaneity. It's not the fun part of it that I don't like, it's the not being prepared part of it.

I wouldn't like having someone try the thing where they show up and say "Jump in the car! We're going to have FUN this weekend!"

I would want to know where we're going, what the weather would be like, if I need indoor or outdoor clothes, whether there's plumbing, what kind of shoes to bring, whether a first-aid kit would come in handy, if I need sunblock, should I bring a camera with an extra memory card and extra batteries, and if I should bring my dancing shoes or bathing suit or hiking gear or camping equipment or laptop or GPS unit or Scotch or shotgun or fishing license or cooler or a picnic lunch.

It isn't fun when you don't have all the stuff you need.

LOL ... spoken like a true contingency planner

:nice:

*And I agree*

This is me. This whole thing. I like to be spontaneous but...Deciding to go somewhere for a couple hours or an afternoon..fine. Let me grab a jacket. You announce we are going on a 3 day cruise up Lake Michigan...I have to plan and that takes more than 15 minutes. I love having fun. Honest. But if I'm in heels, don't expect me to go hiking and not make your life completely miserable.

What if you were told what was needed, what was covered, and given the time to get ready? With out being told exactly what was going to happen... :cheese:
 

Misty_Mountain_Rose

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What if you were told what was needed, what was covered, and given the time to get ready? With out being told exactly what was going to happen... :cheese:

Depending on how much faith I had in my partners planning abilities... I might be OK with this. If they always forget things though... there's no way :D
 

runvardh

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Depending on how much faith I had in my partners planning abilities... I might be OK with this. If they always forget things though... there's no way :D

*nod* I'm pretty sure the best would be to call a night or two before; say my idea, give the time I want to start, how long it should take barring the unforseen. Then I can let you worry about what needs to be done from there on your end. Right?
 

Cranky

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What if you were told what was needed, what was covered, and given the time to get ready? With out being told exactly what was going to happen... :cheese:

This is absolutely acceptable. So long as the man is prepared to carry my four pieces of luggage, overnight bag, garment bag, fishing pole, shotgun (wait, nobody carries Lucy but me), first aid kit, pavilion + shower tents, and a cooler full of beer and sandwiches, I'm cool. Or, if he has a very big truck. :wubbie::wubbie::wubbie:

I might even promise not to bring anything that requires a CPU to operate.
 

runvardh

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This is absolutely acceptable. So long as the man is prepared to carry my four pieces of luggage, overnight bag, garment bag, fishing pole, shotgun (wait, nobody carries Lucy but me), first aid kit, pavilion + shower tents, and a cooler full of beer and sandwiches, I'm cool. Or, if he has a very big truck. :wubbie::wubbie::wubbie:

I might even promise not to bring anything that requires a CPU to operate.

Right, forgot about the female thing. I typically can pack into a school backpack all I need for a weekend doing next to anything. That can expand to two extra bags if I want outdoor comfort. Then again, I wanted to do an outdoor thing I'd bring a truck anyway (that is once I get my full license).
 

Cranky

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Right, forgot about the female thing. I typically can pack into a school backpack all I need for a weekend doing next to anything. That can expand to two extra bags if I want outdoor comfort. Then again, I wanted to do an outdoor thing I'd bring a truck anyway (that is once I get my full license).

What does full license mean? Is it a Canadian thing? Are there gradations?
 
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