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[INTJ] Female INTJs Opening Up To Men

joslynk

New member
Joined
Oct 4, 2009
Messages
21
MBTI Type
INXJ
Hm just wondering how female INTJs or introverted intuitives were able to get passed their introversion and allow themselves to be in a relationship? I have a thing for an ENTP but every time he gets close I pull back, instinctively, and it drives me crazy and confuses him. I know its just dumb to keep doing that but I can't help it. Advice anyone?

INTJs and others welcome to respond.
 

joslynk

New member
Joined
Oct 4, 2009
Messages
21
MBTI Type
INXJ
Are you guys sure? I mean I see him looking at me (actually, more like studying me) asking himself "who is this girl and why is she behaving this way?"
 

Synarch

Once Was
Joined
Oct 14, 2008
Messages
8,445
MBTI Type
ENTP
I trust more when women hold themselves back. Strangely, it does drive me crazy when I can't get a "read". But I also love the highs and lows of never really knowing what's going on and getting glimpses of the glimmer inside the woman I love. I can read most people easily. When someone stumps me because they're so introverted and complex I really pay attention.
 

Synarch

Once Was
Joined
Oct 14, 2008
Messages
8,445
MBTI Type
ENTP
Are you guys sure? I mean I see him looking at me (actually, more like studying me) asking himself "who is this girl and why is she behaving this way?"

I'm sure about how I am. I hate feeling like I have someone figured out, even though I also want to figure people out. It's masochistic or something. People who like to know things also like to be challenged, I think. It must tap into the essential drive for knowledge. Knowledge acquired loses its glimmer.
 

poppy

triple nerd score
Joined
May 30, 2009
Messages
2,215
MBTI Type
intj
Enneagram
5
I trust more when women hold themselves back. Strangely, it does drive me crazy when I can't get a "read". But I also love the highs and lows of never really knowing what's going on and getting glimpses of the glimmer inside the woman I love. I can read most people easily. When someone stumps me because they're so introverted and complex I really pay attention.

^This is why ENXPs are perfect for us. They're willing to give chase.

EDIT: Oh, and, uh...advice. Hm. Just be yourself! /cheese. Seriously though, take your time opening up, be sure this is really someone you want to expose your gooey inner workings to. If he's the right sort of person, he won't mind that you're not an open book.
 

SillySapienne

`~~Philosoflying~~`
Joined
Jan 14, 2008
Messages
9,801
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4w5
I trust more when <men> hold themselves back. Strangely, it does drive me crazy when I can't get a "read". But I also love the highs and lows of never really knowing what's going on and getting glimpses of the glimmer inside the <man> I love. I can read most people easily. When someone stumps me because they're so introverted and complex I really pay attention.
B-I-N-G-O!!!

:yes: ^100
 

SillySapienne

`~~Philosoflying~~`
Joined
Jan 14, 2008
Messages
9,801
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4w5
The closest female friend I have ever had was an INTJ.

You guys have an infinite depth, a pool for which I'd like to both sink and swim!

:)
 

Synarch

Once Was
Joined
Oct 14, 2008
Messages
8,445
MBTI Type
ENTP
:laugh:

It's true.

Okay, here's something I'd like to know about both INFJ's and INTJ's. With many of them, I get this feeling that deep deep deep down inside there is this well of sadness. But, INXJ's are so composed and disciplined that they rarely ever display this to the outside world. Am I imagining things?
 

SillySapienne

`~~Philosoflying~~`
Joined
Jan 14, 2008
Messages
9,801
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4w5
Okay, here's something I'd like to know about both INFJ's and INTJ's. With many of them, I get this feeling that deep deep deep down inside there is this well of sadness. But, INXJ's are so composed and disciplined that they rarely ever display this to the outside world. Am I imagining things?
For me, with INTJs, it's the Fi buried deep in their eyes that has that pregnant ounce of sympathy/sadness.
 

poppy

triple nerd score
Joined
May 30, 2009
Messages
2,215
MBTI Type
intj
Enneagram
5
I love how the introverted intuitives are thought of as complex and deep. It's very flattering (especially as I spent the better part of my life thinking I was the most boring person).

Okay, here's something I'd like to know about both INFJ's and INTJ's. With many of them, I get this feeling that deep deep deep down inside there is this well of sadness. But, INXJ's are so composed and disciplined that they rarely ever display this to the outside world. Am I imagining things?

I used to get that question all the time from, oddly enough, an INFJ. I think we just give off those vibes, maybe it's because INXJs tend to be so inexpressive and contemplative. I think I'm actually much happier than most people realize. Of course, everyone has their dark times. And the few sad bits and pieces rarely do see the light of day.

(Extra tip, to anyone who is wondering, don't go rooting around looking for those bits and pieces. We'll let you see em when we're good and ready, and at that point you can rest assured that we love you.)
 

Synarch

Once Was
Joined
Oct 14, 2008
Messages
8,445
MBTI Type
ENTP
Hrm, it's caring, perceiving, seeing, and knowing about people, themselves, and the human condition.

Ah, yep. My INTJ friend is so deep and caring, but he only shows it with certain people. I felt like we had to get past this wall for us to be friends. I used to friend stalk him relentlessly because he wouldn't just be my friend like a normal person. He would be all cold and aloof, but it just made me try harder. I used to bug the shit out of him. Invite myself to do things with him. But, now we've been friends for like 11 years and he is one of my two best friends in the entire world. He is very wise and he seems to appreciate me in spite of and even because of my craziness.
 

Biaxident

Charting a course
Joined
Jan 10, 2009
Messages
3,617
MBTI Type
INFP
I love how the introverted intuitives are thought of as complex and deep. It's very flattering (especially as I spent the better part of my life thinking I was the most boring person).



I used to get that question all the time from, oddly enough, an INFJ. I think we just give off those vibes, maybe it's because INXJs tend to be so inexpressive and contemplative. I think I'm actually much happier than most people realize. Of course, everyone has their dark times. And the few sad bits and pieces rarely do see the light of day.

(Extra tip, to anyone who is wondering, don't go rooting around looking for those bits and pieces. We'll let you see em when we're good and ready, and at that point you can rest assured that we love you.)

All people are interesting, once you get past the first couple of masks we all wear.
 
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