[INTP] INTP lies

[GatorGirl]

Do INTPs have a tendency to stretch the truth? Or even just create off the wall stories? I am seriously in love with an INTP who says he loves me, too. But sometimes I get these horrible feelings that he is lying to me about things... but when I rationalize it in my head, I can find ways that support what he is saying, but it is so grandiose that it makes me hard to believe it! This is VERY difficult for the ENTJ part of me... please help

 

[Salomé]

Do INTPs have a tendency to stretch the truth? Or even just create off the wall stories? I am seriously in love with an INTP who says he loves me, too. But sometimes I get these horrible feelings that he is lying to me about things... but when I rationalize it in my head, I can find ways that support what he is saying, but it is so grandiose that it makes me hard to believe it! This is VERY difficult for the ENTJ part of me... please help

Suggest that you start a new thread and provide examples of what you are talking about.

 

[GatorGirl]

Suggest that you start a new thread and provide examples of what you are talking about.

I tried to start a new thread, but it says I don't have access to do that... don't know why... maybe someone nice will start it for me ? lol

 

[Kasper]

Ask and ye shall receive, split from elsewhere.

 

[GatorGirl]

Thanks!

 

[Nizy]

Personally I place quite a bit of importance on truth, and being truthful. Which makes sense for the INTP description I would think. If I feel I must withhold something usually I just find ways to avoid putting myself in a position where I would need to lie.

 

[Salomé]

What makes you think he is lying to you? .

 

[Fife]

The INTPs I know closely (my Mum and sister) would never lie exactly. Even when pressed they will tell the exact truth in a way that can be interpreted in several ways. Or leave out some information. The words themselves will be truth though.

 

[Grungemouse]

I feel dirty when lying. I'd rather keep quiet than tell a porker. Is it weird that I actually get a buzz out of telling the truth?

 

[Twixt]

oh intps can lie. yes. we can, i would say its never because of ill-intent, just uncertainty about how to diplomatically or socially-correctly phrase something, that we get so tired of all that and chuck an easier lie right there.

tho of course, lying to close friends and people who really matter is much rarer.....

 

[Totenkindly]

Anyone can lie.

Gotta tell you, I have trouble outright lying; I'm far more apt to "lie by omission" if I lie at all. It's far easier for me to allow someone to believe something that isn't quite true or just not tell someone something that might change their perspective, rather than saying something I know to be false. I usually did that, when I did it, out of a desire to not be controlled by someone else if they had too much information, or out of a desire to not be dragged into needless (in my mind) conflict.

... If I feel I must withhold something usually I just find ways to avoid putting myself in a position where I would need to lie.

That's basically it -- avoidance of something. You foresee and avoid the situation altogether, if you can.

It's hard to actively spin mistruth if a focus in your life is working with nuanced truth -- wanting to call everything exactly what it is, so that you can better clarify them and know what the big picture looks like.

 

[wildcat]

Do INTPs have a tendency to stretch the truth? Or even just create off the wall stories? I am seriously in love with an INTP who says he loves me, too. But sometimes I get these horrible feelings that he is lying to me about things... but when I rationalize it in my head, I can find ways that support what he is saying, but it is so grandiose that it makes me hard to believe it! This is VERY difficult for the ENTJ part of me... please help

A Swedish film director, Ingmar Bergman, was accused of lying.
He told stories.
His father, the priest of the parish, spanked him for telling stories.
Ingmar continued to tell stories.

Where is the truth?
It is in the story.

 

[Salomé]

oh intps can lie. yes. we can, i would say its never because of ill-intent, just uncertainty about how to diplomatically or socially-correctly phrase something, that we get so tired of all that and chuck an easier lie right there.

tho of course, lying to close friends and people who really matter is much rarer.....

There are immoral INTPs and there are amoral INTPs and there are moral ones. Just as with every other type.
There was a thread on INTPc about this recently. The consensus seemed to be "everybody lies". Some even argued that lying was beneficial. INTPs, perhaps more than other types, tend to define their own version of morality which has little to do with fitting in with traditionally acceptable standards of behaviour or arbitrary rules. Some are clearly able to rationalize lying and cheating within that framework.

 

[JocktheMotie]

What exactly is he lying about? I'll tell people things I think they want to hear just to get them to leave me alone...but if it's someone I care about I'm usually very honest, sometimes to a fault.

 

[wildcat]

What exactly is he lying about? I'll tell people things I think they want to hear just to get them to leave me alone...but if it's someone I care about I'm usually very honest, sometimes to a fault.

That is exactly it.

 

[INTP]

Personally I place quite a bit of importance on truth, and being truthful. Which makes sense for the INTP description I would think. If I feel I must withhold something usually I just find ways to avoid putting myself in a position where I would need to lie.

This. Sometimes i cant avoid of situations where i would need to lie, then i either tell the ugly naked truth and explain, lie or make the truth sound something else than what it actually is, without lies.

 

[wildcat]

This. Sometimes i cant avoid of situations where i would need to lie, then i either tell the ugly naked truth and explain, lie or make the truth sound something else than what it actually is, without lies.

Let the blameless cast the first stone.
Who exacted the price of the misplaced honesty of Luther?
Not Luther.
Corruption of the other is an issue to the blameless only.

Jesus said: I am the truth.
What did he mean?
The understanding of the parable of Jesus is expressed in the rite of confession.
Tell the ugly truth and explain it to the priest.
The guilt is yours alone.
Never involve the person who suffered of your error.
She does not deserve the additional burden of forgiveness.

The Catholic Church was built on the insight of St. Paul of the words of Jesus:
Truth hurts.
Ignorance is bliss.

Paul understood the words of Jesus perfectly.
Luther never did.
To lift the weight of the sinner is not to place it on the victim.

 

[tgk]

I avoid lying if at all possible, I don't like the thought that it can come bite me in the ass. I will typically omit the truth, or manipulate the phrasing to sound one way when it can be implied. I can always justify why I need to do this, for whatever reason that it may be at that time.

The funny thing is I have a lot of zany stories that most of my friends don't think could be true, when I do decide to tell them anything I am typically met with a pretty critical attitude and a lot of rolling-eyes. They just don't seem to believe that someone that doesn't talk and brag about their adventures regularly has actually done anything worth mentioning.

 

[cafe]

My INTP doesn't lie so much as engage in evasive maneuvers. If he is doing that, you are probably asking him things that are none of your business or he thinks you are going to over-react to his answer or both.

 

[Salomé]

Tell the ugly truth and explain it to the priest.
The guilt is yours alone.
Never involve the person who suffered of your error.
She does not deserve the additional burden of forgiveness.

So she deserves the burden of falsehood?
No.
Confession is merely a salve for the conscience.
Repentance requires reparation.