[ENTJ] ENTJ's: Lucky in success, Unlucky in love

[Riva]

Come to think of it I don't think having high standards is the reason why ENTJs have issues with the opposite sex. It is simpler yet more complicated than that.

Simpler reason
when an ENTJ say "high whats up" it sounds like "hey who goes there" or "shut the fuck up".

Seriously you guys sound too aggressive.

Complicated reason
When you guys try to flirt with girls it almost always starts to sound like an job interview. Tooooooo serious and official. And you guys know that you hit the wrong tone. Therefor ENTJs just try to keep it simple and OFFICIAL to not fuk things up even more.

No vibes.

No more cute conversations.

No girl.

I know you wouldn't won't to agree but it is the truth. Just put some F(e) in to your conversations. You'll do fine.

 

[GatorGirl]

ENTJs are Fi as their fourth (inferior) trait...

 

[Riva]

^
yes i know.
but if you want it you can learn it. Simple.

 

[FDG]

I think there are girls out there that like the "whole package"; along with a bit of brashness and insecurity in flirting. Of course if you reject them because of some bullshit standard...well, you're doing them a favor, perhaps.

 

[Ghost of the dead horse]

Glad I'm ENTJ just by accident, no problems with girls. No problems such as trying to apply job interview manners to flirting. No problems letting myself be attractive, generally speaking. Now I'm just restricting myself to the one I'm engaged with.

But, I'm quite rude right now for the most part, not tuned in to the "game". I couldn't care less to "game" at this time of life. Hypothetically speaking, if I wanted to start gaming, I think it would take about 1-3 months of "getting in" to kick ass again. I'm skeptical of ever doing anything like that in a very long time. But then, anything can happen..

Was it CaptainChick who said it the best, or who was it? The very goal of trying to "get the chicks" is very lame.

Oh, this isn't the "who gets the most chicks" thread

Anyways, I can understand ENTJs who are too hard-core examples of their type, that kind of thing needs to be balanced to work with people.

 

[Ghost of the dead horse]

My problem, I experience less of the material success so often attributed to the hard-core ENTJ. I'm on my way of fixing that, though.
(might not ever work out more than just with mediocre results. who knows.)

Oh, I got a thread idea.

 

[thisGuy]

i dont think luck has anything to do with it

 

[Silencio]

Just thought i'd mention that as an ENTJ I deal w

Just thought i'd mention that as an ENTJ I deal with this exact same thing and it isn't fun. How much does it effect other NT'S though?

Anyways, I thought i'd also post this song because it seems somewhat fitting.
---> YouTube - Death Cab For Cutie - A Diamond and a Tether

lyrics-
Pity, take pity on me
Because I'm not half the man that I should be
I'm always turning to run
From the people I should not be afraid of
And darling, you should know
That I have fantasies about being alone
It's like love is a lesson
That I can't learn
So I make the same mistakes at each familiar turn

I know you can't hold out forever
Waiting on a diamond and a tether
From a boy who won't swim
But who will dip his toe in
Just to keep you here with him

I've got this habit I abhor
When we go out, I'm always watching the door
As if there's someone I'm going to see
Who could out-do the things that you do to me

I know you can't hold out forever
Waiting on a diamond and a tether
From a boy who won't fly
But who will take to the skies
If he thinks you're about to say goodbye

Pity, take pity on me
Because I'm not half the man that I should be
And I don't blame you, you've had enough
With all these empty promises and countless bluffs

I know you can't hold out forever
Waiting on a diamond and a tether
From a boy who won't jump
When he falls in love
He just stands with his toes on the edge
And he waits for it to disappear again
:546:

 

[corey_vann]

The most important thing I've learned, so far, is that just because I think the cause of an emotion is stupid doesn't make the emotion less valid. It works like this: When my ex and I were dating I was supposed to call her at a specific time one day, but my phone was dieing. I called her and left a message telling her the situation. Eventually it died and I was left scrambing for a payphone (have you tried finding a payphone!?). I finally got a hold of her and went to her place. She was mad, though I had made her aware of the situation, which pissed me off, so now we're both good and pissed at eachother. After talking (verbal sparring) she went off into the bathroom to cry (she is an INFJ, and a rather sheltered one at that. Making her cry isn't something I'm proud of, but it happened on a pretty regular occasion). I sat in her living room looking at the front door, honestly fighting the urge to just leave her there. I fought this urge and we talked it out and everything was fine.

She's my ex so it obviously didn't work out, but the fact was I overcame my refusal to acknowledge her feelings because I thought they and their cause were stupid and recognized the fact that they were still feelings she was having, therefore making them valid. I'm pretty new at the whole relationships thing so you guys are scaring the crap out of me, but maybe if we put our heads together we can figure this out and save ourselves some trouble in the future.

 

[corey_vann]

Ok you are a work goddess, if you allow your F to flourish you get to take things in your stride at work than you would normally do (get stressed by situations).

You'll learn a variety of ways to navagate through people issues because you are engaging in relating to a SO. Being able to work with people in any feild is important, having a relationship helps you grow that side of you. NT's can be unempathetic... at it's more extreme if you allow an imbalance to develope you can end up developing personality disorders and a variety of different issue.

You also have intimate company and less periods of being on your own learning bad habits

What you loose is some of your time to pet hobbies.

Snuggling is good even if you are an NT

Not getting your own way all the time - a good thing to get to grips with.



An example of how this can work in practice... my boss (ENTJ) hired a guy who I thought would be awful (I was leaving it was no big deal to me). I teased him about it - he said he thought he wouldn't be his favorite member of staff but he needed to learn to be more tollerant - ie is the person anoying or are you unadapatable/intollerent of others...

As it was - I was kind of right, he really isn't fitting in so I hear (but the intention o growing personal accpetance of more people was good I thought). Which I can say I spotted within 5 minutes of talking to him. But the point is developing tollerances to help you deal with a variety of people rather than perfect people.... not many people fit well with NT's so getting along is a good thing to tackle before you get bad habits...

ENTJs can be very dissmissive of people and having an improved F would help be less dissmissive.

Keirsey goes on about ENTJ's needing to have someone to balance their work eithic - drag them out for some degree of normal life.... which is also true I think

Sorry this feels a bit of a long rambling response/probably too much detail

This is excellent. Personally, I think every NT needs and NF. I don't think I would have grown as well if it weren't for my INFP best friend.

 

[simulatedworld]

^ I thought that too until I met an ENTP girl. Everything falls into place so much faster now; it's great.

 

[JustHer]

This is excellent. Personally, I think every NT needs and NF. I don't think I would have grown as well if it weren't for my INFP best friend.

YES, same here. My INFP best friend really helps me grow.

 

[JustHer]

Come to think of it I don't think having high standards is the reason why ENTJs have issues with the opposite sex. It is simpler yet more complicated than that.

Simpler reason
when an ENTJ say "high whats up" it sounds like "hey who goes there" or "shut the fuck up".

Seriously you guys sound too aggressive.

Complicated reason
When you guys try to flirt with girls it almost always starts to sound like an job interview. Tooooooo serious and official. And you guys know that you hit the wrong tone. Therefor ENTJs just try to keep it simple and OFFICIAL to not fuk things up even more.

No vibes.

No more cute conversations.

No girl.

I know you wouldn't won't to agree but it is the truth. Just put some F(e) in to your conversations. You'll do fine.

This is really inaccurate and insulting. You are simply describing someone who lacks social skills. Your use of "simple" also makes me think you are another one of those people who perceive ENTJ's as ESTJs which we are NOT.

 

[Happyman]

ENTJs Lucky/Unlucky...

I don't know how you guys (ENTJs) do in love, but you totally kick a*s in business!

Let me elaborate.

I was a part of summer internship program in a big FMCG company couple years ago. It was a pretty prestigious thing - couple thousands students from the best universities applied and there were only 40 places to be taken.

Long story short, at the end of the program they made us pass MBTI test. I, as a HR intern, was working on collecting&analysing the data. Here it goes: out of the forty people who managed to get into this program 21 were ENTJs. I mean... can you imagine? It's over 15 times more than statistically should be found in this sample!

I was one out of 3 ENFJs, I think we had 4 ENFPs and the rest was scattered. ENTJs just ruled!

 

[Litvyak]

Personally, I think every NT needs and NF.

I used to think this is true, but right now - I'm not really sure if that wonderful learning process and those experiences we share are actually worth the price of thousands of misunderstandings, outbursts and conflicts. There's such a huge difference behind the obvious attraction, and tolerance has its own limits.

 

[Thalassa]

Are ENTJs "unlucky" or is it just that they're so ambitious that the very thing that allows them to succeed in business pushes people away in relationships?

 

[DiscoBiscuit]

Are ENTJs "unlucky" or is it just that they're so ambitious that the very thing that allows them to succeed in business pushes people away in relationships?

This is probably it.

 

[lane777]

Tink, I think you're on to something. I get the sense, after reading a lot about NT's in love, they are even more idealistic than NFs. But in a very different way. Not what I'd call the general idea of idealism, and maybe that's why, they are so hard to live up to. ?

Both are just as idealistic. But NF`s tend to be more forgiving and accepting of faults/differences. Especially those with Fe.

AH! creepiest thread of the year! this has to be the most specific overlap of a type group Ive ever seen! we are all even using the same phrases!

my adopted solution: make a shit load of money until some ISJF suddenly realizes she HAS to have me...

...sadly its...the only way.

Boo hoo. At least you like a type that we have an excess of. I have to adore ENTJ's who are less than scarce and don't give a crap about INFJ's.