[NT] xNTx fidelity

[substitute]

I've never been unfaithful, and I never would. I know from many years of total abstinence (sometimes in the face of strong temptation) and of resistance to overtures (as it were) whether drunk or sober, that if I ever did feel like I wanted to go with somebody else, I'd have the restraint to put it off until I'd officially finished with my partner. More to the point, I know I've got the forsight to not find the idea of ruining a current relationship for the sake of a one night stand.

All of which is irrelevant really, since a) I've chosen celibacy and b) even if I hadn't, nobody'd have me anyway

 

[tinkerbell]

Hey Sub

I thought there was a Mrs Sub... does that mean she is celebate too?

I do long periods between relationships bot sure when they count as celebacy...

Lis

 

[INTP]

lol whats wrong with so meny entps?

 

[Katsuni]

lol whats wrong with so meny entps?

See previous posts. Nothing wrong at all, whot's wrong with everyone else?

 

[tinkerbell]

lol whats wrong with so meny entps?

They SO let the side down, ENTP are nearly 50:50... eeeek

I wonder if it relates to commitment phobia, or short attention span, or the ability to spot a problem a mile off.....

 

[Katsuni]

They SO let the side down, ENTP are nearly 50:50... eeeek

I wonder if it relates to commitment phobia, or short attention span, or the ability to spot a problem a mile off.....

Were it truly commitment phobia, I think it'd be far more towards the lower side of things than is seen.

Attention span may be part of it, but moreso I think the latter's a more likely issue. That and an overly pragmatic approach to correcting percieved problems in a manner which makes perfect reasonable and logical sense... and doesn't even consider emotional impact or 'rightness' along the way, and may actively go against the taboo simply out of spite. No clue though for certain, can only speak for myself, though I've already done that in depth already on this thread XD Repeatedly >.>

 

[garbage]

lol whats wrong with so meny entps?

They're paranoid about losing their sense independence in a relationship

 

[substitute]

Hey Sub

I thought there was a Mrs Sub... does that mean she is celebate too?

I do long periods between relationships bot sure when they count as celebacy...

Lis

what the...? No, I've been completely celibate in every sense, since the last relationship I had ended, which was almost eight years ago! I wonder where on earth you got the idea I was "partnered" from??

I wonder if it relates to commitment phobia, or short attention span, or the ability to spot a problem a mile off.....

I think quite the opposite - I've very little faith in people my generation and younger, to truly commit to anything at all. I'm not sure how it happened, but when it comes to commitment and tenacity I seem to have developed all the determination and stubbornness of someone with much, much better Si than me!!

 

[miss fortune]

when happy with who I'm with, I'm a model lover... I would never dream of cheating! I've cheated only once while in a relationship myself, but have been the other woman in a relationship before while single... in both cases I was bored

 

[tinkerbell]

what the...? No, I've been completely celibate in every sense, since the last relationship I had ended, which was almost eight years ago! I wonder where on earth you got the idea I was "partnered" from??

Yipe I definately thought you had a Mrs Sub and two or three ikkle un-subs. Clearly I've got my wires crossed... No biggie....

I think there is probably a range of ENTP-ness infidelity which probably is different when 18-25 than is it from the 30+... Lots to speculate over, and very different from other NTs... it begs the question about if all ENTP are NT or are masked/over compensating for something else....

Lis

 

[Kra]

I'd like to further Katsuni's original point of there being three types of infidelity, and maybe find out more about why people, on average, feel threatened by these different aspects.

Physical Infidelity:
Well, I think this one's pretty obvious. All of the reasons that we've mentioned already in this thread, plus the evolutionary drive to protect our DNA line, make for a pretty offending thing.

Emotional Infidelity:
Love being the only reason for a relationship is a relatively new concept to human society. People used to get together for a variety of reasons, survival included. A family unit was a much more efficient way of getting by (you know, teamwork and all that). Today though, we are fortunate in that many places in the world don't have to worry as much about these other reasons, so love/affection takes precedence in many cultures now. Given it's importance to a modern relationship, if there is emotional infidelity, it does pose the question of why the relationship even exists to begin with. One side is not giving the emotional support, the other is getting it elsewhere, so it's obvious that the bond here would be in dire straights.

Intellectual Infidelity:
This is the one I'm not so sure about in the context of a relationship. In a corporate/national environment, it would certainly be to the detriment of your company/nation if your intellect or ideas were being given to an outside entity/competitor. But in the context of a relationship, I'm not sure how that would translate. I'm guessing maybe a breach of confidentiality? I suppose this could be the most damaging overall if you set to ruin your partner, but I just don't see how or why that would occur if you had the physical and emotional aspects of the relationship in good standing.

Perhaps intellectual infidelity is a threat when coupled with infidelity of one or both of the other forms.


Just some food for thought.

when happy with who I'm with, I'm a model lover... I would never dream of cheating! I've cheated only once while in a relationship myself, but have been the other woman in a relationship before while single... in both cases I was bored

Idle hands my dear, idle hands.

 

[tinkerbell]

Guys

Am I the only ENTP who doens't think that Intellectual Infidelity exists....

I'll chew the fat with anyone - I don't expect any form of intellectual fidelity in any relationship unless there is an NDA or I've spoken to someone in confidence....

I find the concept of Intellectual fidelity just a little bit weird... but you can't tell anyone else that

 

[Kra]

Guys

Am I the only ENTP who doens't think that Intellectual Infidelity exists....

I'll chew the fat with anyone - I don't expect any form of intellectual fidelity in any relationship unless there is an NDA or I've spoken to someone in confidence....

I find the concept of Intellectual fidelity just a little bit weird... but you can't tell anyone else that

I'm not so sure either. I guess I'd need someone to give me a better idea of what it really is.

Maybe I'm a "free info" hippy.

 

[tinkerbell]

I'm an info slut really - now who wants to hook up?

 

[substitute]

yeah I'm with you on that intellectual fidelity stuff... that's just crazy to my mind. It's like saying you want to completely own somebody. The way I see it, you know, the one thing that's my own and not to be commanded, judged or in any way claimed by anyone else, is my thoughts. Those are free and they'll do whatever I bloody want and I'll share them with who I want, when I want. You can judge me or react however you like to what I do or say, but what I think is untouchable.

the way I see it, people who feel threatened by that are the ones with the problem: they obviously have big problems with trust.

 

[Katsuni]

For Kra and Tinkerbell, the more I think of it, the more 'intellectual infidelity' seems pretty much like a foreign concept, kind of... or at least one which I don't take as seriously as I'd like to.

And I don't mean it just as the "zomg I'll bounce ideas off anyone and anything" as such either.

I'd meant moreso that, at least for ME, my SO would absolutely HAVE to be at least vaguely as intelligent as myself, and capable of understanding my theories and ideas. If they showed disinterest in my mind, it'd be pretty damaging on the emotional level, as it's the part I value most of myself. If it ever gets to the point where I don't share my ideas, writing, creativity, or anything with them anymore, let alone not being the first one to show off to, then it generally seems like a major problem to me.

I dunno about considering it as fidelity as such though, now that yeu've pointed it out... total lack of even bothering to tell them anything and going elsewhere is a big deal. Telling them 'and' others, however, would probably be fine, in which case I don't think it can be considered a type of fidelity anymore.

Sooooooo I guess it made more sense in my head the first time until someone pointed out the reasoning flaw XD

 

[poppy]

They SO let the side down, ENTP are nearly 50:50... eeeek

I wonder if it relates to commitment phobia, or short attention span, or the ability to spot a problem a mile off.....

Also I don't know if anyone mentioned it, but could it be the tertiary Fe? I know an ENTP who had no problem sleeping around behind his girlfriend's back, but he couldn't bring himself to break up with her because it would hurt her feelings. Of course, this is a pretty immature ENTP so it could have just been a fluke.

Personally I wouldn't ever cheat because I see no reason to. If I love someone more than I love my SO, I'd just break it off with the SO and pursue the new person. It doesn't make me any less fickle than other people (I might in fact be more fickle than others), but I never perform the specific action that is "cheating", emotionally or physically.

 

[Kra]

For Kra and Tinkerbell, the more I think of it, the more 'intellectual infidelity' seems pretty much like a foreign concept, kind of... or at least one which I don't take as seriously as I'd like to.

And I don't mean it just as the "zomg I'll bounce ideas off anyone and anything" as such either.

I'd meant moreso that, at least for ME, my SO would absolutely HAVE to be at least vaguely as intelligent as myself, and capable of understanding my theories and ideas. If they showed disinterest in my mind, it'd be pretty damaging on the emotional level, as it's the part I value most of myself. If it ever gets to the point where I don't share my ideas, writing, creativity, or anything with them anymore, let alone not being the first one to show off to, then it generally seems like a major problem to me.

I dunno about considering it as fidelity as such though, now that yeu've pointed it out... total lack of even bothering to tell them anything and going elsewhere is a big deal. Telling them 'and' others, however, would probably be fine, in which case I don't think it can be considered a type of fidelity anymore.

That's more in line with what I was thinking. It's more of an intellectual "satisfaction" than a fidelity.

 

[Katsuni]

That's more in line with what I was thinking. It's more of an intellectual "satisfaction" than a fidelity.

Yeah, think I just worded it poorly and probably misdefined it before.

That being said though, I'd still highly prefer to tell my SO all my findings first, as they SHOULD be the one I'm most interested in hearing the opinion from. If that disappears it bothers me a bit. If they stop caring entirely, it can go quite badly.

Then again, how many women have gotten pissed when their SO only loves them 'for their body' and refuses to respect their mind? That often can lead either to breakup or infidelity hrm. I think it's more a contributing factor than a direct form though. The emotional one is way more accurate.

 

[Kra]

Yeah, think I just worded it poorly and probably misdefined it before.

That being said though, I'd still highly prefer to tell my SO all my findings first, as they SHOULD be the one I'm most interested in hearing the opinion from. If that disappears it bothers me a bit. If they stop caring entirely, it can go quite badly.

Then again, how many women have gotten pissed when their SO only loves them 'for their body' and refuses to respect their mind? That often can lead either to breakup or infidelity hrm. I think it's more a contributing factor than a direct form though. The emotional one is way more accurate.

Sorry about that. I have a bad habit of getting too hung up in the verbal realm sometimes.

I'm like that too. I couldn't be with someone who didn't at least respect my ideas, or if I couldn't talk about them.