[NT] T love

[the state i am in]

the responses have been really helpful in this thread and very well-written.

i think i understand what i meant by passion before. connecting with someone with the whole of yourself, and i think before part of what i was missing was that i was just looking for extremely feely type expressions when much is communicated in logical language and Ti/Te too basically only getting like a third of the information sent to me when i'm spending time with thinkers. i'm realizing that you can meet the other person in a different way and understand what they are choosing better and why they are choosing it when you allow both judgment components (T and F: also split in terms of conscious and mostly unconscious, depending on predominance), how they are motivated, what matters to them, what they desire, etc

and i think i was just refusing to accept the terms that i felt T users use, although it was mainly bc i was not thinking in the right language. the value inherent in the choices we make and doing the logical principled right thing to do based on T work rather than only using F and what you want/hope for/are disappointed by/hate/dislike etc style judgment

why anyone is passionate is because you communicate really intensely and you both understand each others desires very very well to create excitement and constant interest, along with whatever immediate natural fit there was to begin with

 

[the state i am in]

It's not a difference in perception of love because NTs and NFs have the same perceptive process N; it's merely a difference in the decision as to how to display that perception of feeling, whether by T or by F means of expression.

it's not just display. it's action, direction, endorsement, interaction, etc. it's what you do and what you choose. it's what you VALUE and what you want to become. it's your philosophy on life and love. it changes where you go and it changes the character of your experience, whichever side of the T/F dichotomy you lean towards more often and is your go-to in the clutch method. the T/F balance is crucial in understanding others, it's just pure investment in a method of deciding, valuing, living, etc. it helps create the overall intelligence system that is who you are.

T is linear in a vacuum, but NTs don't live anywhere as close to that vacuum as do STs, especially the N-dominant ones (ENTP/INTJ.) Because Thinking is a secondary priority for us, we don't tend to have very "linear" thought processes at all--Thinking is only allowed to direct and advise from a clearly subordinate position. iNtuition gets the final say.

well it IS linear, but you come up with way more angles so you generate a whole body of linear causal chains. just the facts, like a newspaper story, but unlike heavy S types, you can generate a million different ways of looking at the facts. so you have a million fucking stories, and a billion fucking hyperlinks between them. but you don't judge teh WHOLE of the body of literature at once as a singular entity, you look for a single interpretation that is causally sound and most probable.

Again, you think you can intuit the real feelings of Thinkers but you can't. NTs, at least, feel love very similarly to the way you feel love; we just aren't very good at expressing it and sometimes that makes us uncomfortable so we try to downplay its significance by talking about how it's "all just chemical reactions" or whatnot...which it technically is, but that doesn't mean we don't feel its potent emotional effects. (Many of us just refuse to admit it or show it outwardly because we don't know how.)

i don't know what you mean by this. the whole thread is about how i don't get how thinkers feel about love. i know they don't feel it the same way- although it is not wholly different bc we both are made up of BOTH T and F. but i know it's different bc we keep fucking miscommunicating. F types dwell in it way longer than predominant T types. it involves spending your time in different processes, you move to new mental and emotional spaces as a result of your judging methods. and the way that each party illustrates the ongoing story/dialogue determines where and what kind of space the interaction takes on.

The thing is that I know logically when I am in love, but I only feel it occasionally. It's not an omnipresent thing, and it's hard for me to imagine that it is that way for others. But when I feel it, it's like I just drank a glass of liquid sunshine.

But once I am aware that I am experiencing an emotion, I immediately start to think about it and that somehow, accidentally, stops me from focusing on feeling it at that moment.

I sometimes want to revel in a feeling and I get really irritated when people start talking and make me aware of it (e.g. "isn't this fun?"). I snap back to reality almost instantly. Why state the obvious?

this is an awesome response. i'm going to put this in my back pocket and it's going to be a great reminder when i need it.

your last statement is soooo interesting to me. i have the exact same problem but it's with my preponderance to slip back into feeling and completely overrule and block out T logic. so i end up with 100% feeling and no T logic whatsoever. spending ALL my energies focused on ephemeral wanting, or moodiness, or whatever, and allowing myself to lose my way and go down bad feeling pathways bc i spend so much time considering all emotional possibilities- the good and the bad. whereas a bit more T usage and i organize myself and my activities better, i do things that are productive rather than wallowing in emotional badness with some blank emotional check for buying ALL feelings to experience and taste each and every last one. bc mood keeps arriving at new places, you keep drawing poorer and poorer conclusions when you get really dangerously irrational, so you just get more off-track and more out-of-touch with the reality of the situation, which, in a relationship (a conversation) truly has four perspectives: the your t, your f, my t, my f. they all produce different interpretations and balancing the whole of it so that they are all somewhat satisfied is how you know that this is worth continuing.

finding a way to use the F when you want to connect and share and just feel the holism/harmony of a moment, to use your ability to relate to the whole of something/someone else at times. but also using T to make it so that you approach each situation in a positive, logically informed, do the best you can and be efficient with your choices kind of way so that you can actually get shit done and fix all the broken shit and unsolved problems everywhere around us. it's weird tho, this kind of balance is difficult, and everyone, instead, it seems, is an expert in something.

 

[Costrin]

well it IS linear, but you come up with way more angles so you generate a whole body of linear causal chains. just the facts, like a newspaper story, but unlike heavy S types, you can generate a million different ways of looking at the facts. so you have a million fucking stories, and a billion fucking hyperlinks between them. but you don't judge teh WHOLE of the body of literature at once as a singular entity, you look for a single interpretation that is causally sound and most probable.

I think what you're describing sounds more like Ni to me than F/T. My thinking isn't linear, but it's different than that.

Also: your posts are hard to understand.