Mum: ESTJ
Dad: INTP
Older brother: ESTP (but he's left home, thank God)
I currently live at home (waiting for Uni and all that), and I live in an SJ-dominant environment. That is, the mother is in charge whilst the father and I just go along with it. We know better than to argue.
Not that she's tyrannical or anything. I hear posts dotted around the Forum saying things like, "Omg if I had an ESTJ for a parent I'd probably kill myself". Well yes, she's always been a strict parent, but she did her best to keep us well disciplined. SJ types use the past to determine their style of parenting, but that doesn't necessarily mean they're going to follow their parents style. My mum had a rough childhood, where domestic violence was a common theme. When they went on holiday, the father always chose to go where he wanted, so my mum spent vacations in a farmers field in a caravan, and no facilities for children. So, she took his style of parenting on board and basically went the opposite. Because she was bored stiff on her holidays, she made sure that whenever we went on holiday there was a kids club, or at least a park. She also asked us (even as children) where we would want to go. It wasn't a case of, "We're spending the weekend in a caravan, kids. Like it or lump it".
I don't have strong family values, but I've been brought up to respect the rules of the household because my parents are the breadwinners and own the house. So at least I've been told why I should respect my parents, rather than the conventional "Because I said so". Therefore I do respect them because their reason makes sense to me.
My parents both came from working class and worked hard to get to where they are now- a comfortable lower-middle class status, two cars, two dogs, and a cottage in a surburbanised village. Because of this I've been brought up in a T-orientated environment that values a strong work ethic above all else, so laziness is not tolerated at all. My parents have recently severed themselves financially from my brother because he won't get a job, and he keeps asking them to "lend" him money for a deposit in a house. They tell me that they won't bother supporting me in any way if I don't get a job, because they want me to be economically independent as soon as possible. In some ways I think I'm lucky because I've been brought up to value money and work hard for it, so I'm satisfied with their parenting overall. Other times I just feel under pressure not to fail, which was probably what sparked episodes of "reality withdrawal" during my A levels, where exam stress was rampant. But I still love them.
I hate my brother though. He was a domineering, bully of a brother and made it perfectly clear that he wished he never had a sister. Worst of all, instead of leaving home and finally making a living for himself, he's decided to develop a parasitic relationship with the parents wallet. This is his so-called definition of "breaking out from the oppressor that is mum". Whilst I quietly accepted my mum's militaristic style of parenting (why fight against the current? Struggling only tires you out
) he clashed against it and was even stupid enough to start smoking because he knew she wouldn't approve. What's most lulzy about this is that he's asthmatic. What a dumb arse.
... I can actually hear my mother talking from the above posts.
What I'm trying to say is that I got on with my parents but hated my brother.
