[INTJ] INTJs- How successful have you been at love?

[Virtual ghost]

I am wondering about something.

If someone asks you: Who has it easier time in the entire romance/love thing INTJ men or INTJ women ?

What would you say to that person as an answer?

 

[Kangirl]

First of all I might say "INTJ men have it easier, because INTJ-ish traits will be easier to accept in a man than a woman."

Then I might say "INTJ women have it easier, because their sex will soften, to some degree, traits that will be expressed more harshly in males."

(I am generalizing, yes)

 

[murkrow]

I know plenty of men who would be interested in an INTJ woman, assuming she were attractive.

The problem will be getting an INTJ woman to be interested, in my experience.

 

[Virtual ghost]

First of all I might say "INTJ men have it easier, because INTJ-ish traits will be easier to accept in a man than a woman."

Then I might say "INTJ women have it easier, because their sex will soften, to some degree, traits that will be expressed more harshly in males."

(I am generalizing, yes)

Well, the question is asked in a general way.


However I agree with you, Actually this is exactly why I poped the question in the first place. Since expressed male INTJ can have a really hard time with a typical woman. While she has even a bigger problems with him.


On the other hand INTJ women look more balanced in their INTJ tendencies. Which is probably the consequence of their upbringing and social pressure from an early age. But if a woman has strong INTJ tendencies then she is clearly in a worse position then male INTJ.
On the other hand it is easier to manipulate guys then women when it comes to sexuality.

 

[Virtual ghost]

I know plenty of men who would be interested in an INTJ woman, assuming she were attractive.

The problem will be getting an INTJ woman to be interested, in my experience.

True, but the same can be said for male INTJs are well.

 

[EffEmDoubleyou]

I am wondering about something.

If someone asks you: Who has it easier time in the entire romance/love thing INTJ men or INTJ women ?

What would you say to that person as an answer?

Hands down, INTJ women have it easier. INTJs tend to be more analytical and apathetic about romance, and women are not traditionally cast in the role of aggressor. They can find romance through inaction just by giving the thumbs up or thumbs down.

 

[poppy]

Yeah, I will say I think INTJ women have it easier in a lot of ways, assuming they are not extremely expressed, like AO said. INTJ men have that strong silent thing going on, but unless they actually go out and attempt to gain a woman's interest, they're at a definite disadvantage. Unless Amargith is around

 

[Oaky]

What I've learnt about INTJ women is that they can be as sexy as they wish to be. In fact they very easily can get a man. But to find the man that meets their expectations... Good luck.

For INTJ women it's like "ok im being sexy and I got this man... it's working... it's working... it's.. OK I'm bored this guy just isn't my cup of tea. Let's try the next guy who has that spec of a chance to be 'the one'."

For INTJ guy it's like "hmmmm trash, next....trash, next....trash. I will not lose my self-pride by going out with anyone who does not give me the ultimate respect I should have"

INTJ guys are much less likely to get a spouse than an INTJ girl because while guy is so soaked up in his self-pride that he wouldn't even want to try out a girl he thinks will have the smallest chance in messing up, the girl gives each guy a chance until she finds the right guy. Of course the girl would probably give her answer by the end of the week on whether this guy should 'be removed from her love life forever'.

Im not going to get into the roles of girls and the roles of guys in this as the INTJ of each gender should know their own role.

 

[ed111]

Whatever type you are, women have it easier.

 

[Oaky]

Whatever type you are, women have it easier.

Agreed

 

[Ghost of the dead horse]

My female friend has gone over really tough time, but she's emerged as a wonderful, loving person. She now tests as INTJ, too, and I guess it's a natural progression for her. I guess she had great stress from a difficult life situation and she didn't have like-minded friends before, forcing her to act out of character and to withdraw from people. She was very moody, critical, demanding and such.

I'm not sure if those are usual for INTJ in trouble, and if she's best fit type really is INTJ. Nevertheless, she seems much INTJ (very I, slightly/moderately N, moderate to strong T, slightly J) and a great person to love and be loved.

 

[INTJ123]

hmm my story is a little different, I had my first GF in the 6th grade lol. I actually dated quite a bit for an intj, or normal or even ahead of alot of my peers growing up. But as I get older I keep slowing down, now I just want to meet the right person, I learned from meeting alot of the wrong people.

 

[jenocyde]

I am wondering about something.

If someone asks you: Who has it easier time in the entire romance/love thing INTJ men or INTJ women ?

What would you say to that person as an answer?

It is unclear if you are speaking about attracting a partner, or actual love. It seems like each gender has the same chance at love, although the female gender *may* have an easier time at attraction if she is heterosexual.

 

[Kangirl]

Whatever type you are, women have it easier.

*plays sad song on world's smallest violin*

 

[ed111]

*plays sad song on world's smallest violin*

I don't think anyone's particulary sad about this, it's just a fact of life. In the same way that physically attractive people have it easier than ugly people.

INTJ men have some advantage over other types in that they probably have better means to pay for sex.

 

[RenaiReborn]

Hahahaa. Oh dear.

Well, to respond to the OP, 'success' in such a thing as 'love', isn't so easily defined. It depends firstly, on how one defines love, and then, what determines 'success' in this said 'love'.

By my own definitions, being young, etc, I have been successful in love so far as to say that I know what it is NOT.

Now to respond to some of the ideas brought up in the continuation of the thread: INTJ women, in fact, I would say, initially have a MORE difficult time in 'finding love' than most women in general. However, if you're comparing them only within the INTJ type, as it seems you are doing, I would say that a mature, perhaps a bit older, female INTJ would have a much easier time in finding love. However, an immature, or strongly expressed (I'm not relating the two, they can be mutually exclusive) female INTJ would have a much much more difficult time than a male.

Perhaps I rambled on a bit without making entirely too much sense, but I'm sure whoever decides to read it will manage.

On that note, when someone says success in love, what does that mean to you (anyone who feels like answering), or rather, what does it imply?

 

[IZthe411]

Hahahaa. Oh dear.

Well, to respond to the OP, 'success' in such a thing as 'love', isn't so easily defined. It depends firstly, on how one defines love, and then, what determines 'success' in this said 'love'.

By my own definitions, being young, etc, I have been successful in love so far as to say that I know what it is NOT.

Now to respond to some of the ideas brought up in the continuation of the thread: INTJ women, in fact, I would say, initially have a MORE difficult time in 'finding love' than most women in general. However, if you're comparing them only within the INTJ type, as it seems you are doing, I would say that a mature, perhaps a bit older, female INTJ would have a much easier time in finding love. However, an immature, or strongly expressed (I'm not relating the two, they can be mutually exclusive) female INTJ would have a much much more difficult time than a male.

Perhaps I rambled on a bit without making entirely too much sense, but I'm sure whoever decides to read it will manage.

On that note, when someone says success in love, what does that mean to you (anyone who feels like answering), or rather, what does it imply?

I would define success in that you manage to maintain a relationship that is not perfect, but both parties are happy and have no plans or feelings of calling it quits.

 

[poppy]

Hahahaa. Oh dear.

Well, to respond to the OP, 'success' in such a thing as 'love', isn't so easily defined. It depends firstly, on how one defines love, and then, what determines 'success' in this said 'love'.

By my own definitions, being young, etc, I have been successful in love so far as to say that I know what it is NOT.

Now to respond to some of the ideas brought up in the continuation of the thread: INTJ women, in fact, I would say, initially have a MORE difficult time in 'finding love' than most women in general. However, if you're comparing them only within the INTJ type, as it seems you are doing, I would say that a mature, perhaps a bit older, female INTJ would have a much easier time in finding love. However, an immature, or strongly expressed (I'm not relating the two, they can be mutually exclusive) female INTJ would have a much much more difficult time than a male.

Perhaps I rambled on a bit without making entirely too much sense, but I'm sure whoever decides to read it will manage.

Mhm, I think you explained that very accurately and concisely.

On that note, when someone says success in love, what does that mean to you (anyone who feels like answering), or rather, what does it imply?

It would make sense to address the question of what success in love is, for an INTJ

For me, it would (I imagine) be a state of mental (and emotional) connection with someone who is a beneficial part of my life for a good length of time.

I guess.

 

[ed111]

Hahahaa. Oh dear.

QUOTE]

I know, my little joke was in poor taste.

 

[Loxias]

I don't know if I am an INTJ, some tests agree, most people here agree, so maybe. But I could as well be an INFP according to others. So I might not reflect exactly what is expected of this thread.

I've had crushes, but most of them never resulted in a relationship, and those that did revealed that I wasn't really that much into it.
In a way, it seems that I have too high standards, but I myself am the kind of person only people with low standards would go for.
The group of people fitting my high standards very rarely intersects with the kind of people that have standards low enough to go for me.
Therefore it is a bit of a : I am not worthy of being loved, but those people are not worth my love either.

I think I could easily continue living single for a very long time, most of the time I am very happy to follow my plans, and if I were in a relationship I would like to have a lot of alone time anyway (If I one day get married and we have a house, I will need to have my own separate bedroom with my stuff, it's a dealbreaker).
Yet, I am afraid that by being like this I am probably missing out on something that is important in order to live a good fulfilling human life, that I am missing out on something that would be very important to everyone, that is, love. There has been so much written about it and done for it throughout history that it has to be something worth falling in.

And besides, I do have some moments where I wish I wasn't alone.
And when I am at a party and see everyone interacting, people getting close to each other so quickly, so easily, I get a sense of bitterness and failure.
As most of the time, I can't sustain a girl's interest in me when she gets interested at first.

For INTJ guy it's like "hmmmm trash, next....trash, next....trash. I will not lose my self-pride by going out with anyone who does not give me the ultimate respect I should have"

INTJ guys are much less likely to get a spouse than an INTJ girl because while guy is so soaked up in his self-pride that he wouldn't even want to try out a girl he thinks will have the smallest chance in messing up, the girl gives each guy a chance until she finds the right guy. Of course the girl would probably give her answer by the end of the week on whether this guy should 'be removed from her love life forever'.

This is a very very accurate description of how it is for me.