[INTP] How to seduce as an INTP

[Spamtar]

Glad I found this forum. I'm INTP and I have never been out on a date. I'm very confidence. So I asked out many girls but 0% success. I went to parties. 0%. I tried different method, just tell them how i really felt. That didn't work either.

0% rate is really starting to bother me. I mean I been asking girls out for couple years now. I don't sound "desperate". I'm starting to wonder what's wrong with me. I'm a great guy to be with. I know I can be very quite and socially awaward.

This is how things goes mostly.
1. start a conversation (it can be anything depending on the situation).
2. small talk 5-10minutes usually but can be longer or shorter depending on situation
3. ask em out on a date if i want to get to know them little bit more.
4. usually they smile and give em their number
5. i call them 2 days later ( I wait two days cause i don't want to look desperate or anything)
6. phone is either off or they don't pick up. I leave a message and if they call then it's a date if they don't call than i forget about it cause i'm not gonna call them and leave bunch of messages.
7. If they do pick up, small talk for like a minute or two," how are you" or "remember me". than i say are you free friday night, they say no. than they say " I'll call you when I have free time" They never call.

Suprising I have never gotten a fake number. I even asked for a girls number I just met. I walked up to her and talked for like a minute and asked for her number. at first she was like WTF face but she gave me her number.

It sounds like you need to work on the "comfort" phase of attraction. In other words it seems there is the initial attraction to move into the comfort phase (deeper rapport) but you eject shortly afterwards.

Consider putting the phone number in your pocket and go beyond small talk to get and know the female better. If she has to split shortly after you get her number consider calling her back not to get "a date" rather build deeper rapport (caveat after a rapport established work on kino or other devices to build up her "buying temperature"/sexual attraction).

 

[LostInNerSpace]

oh being "friends" first doesn't work with me btw. don't ask why it's just not logic

Are they real friends if they make up random shit about you and try to use your fears against you?

 

[MacGuffin]

Glad I found this forum. I'm INTP and I have never been out on a date. I'm very confidence. So I asked out many girls but 0% success. I went to parties. 0%. I tried different method, just tell them how i really felt. That didn't work either.

0% rate is really starting to bother me. I mean I been asking girls out for couple years now. I don't sound "desperate". I'm starting to wonder what's wrong with me. I'm a great guy to be with. I know I can be very quite and socially awaward.

This is how things goes mostly.
1. start a conversation (it can be anything depending on the situation).
2. small talk 5-10minutes usually but can be longer or shorter depending on situation
3. ask em out on a date if i want to get to know them little bit more.
4. usually they smile and give em their number
5. i call them 2 days later ( I wait two days cause i don't want to look desperate or anything)
6. phone is either off or they don't pick up. I leave a message and if they call then it's a date if they don't call than i forget about it cause i'm not gonna call them and leave bunch of messages.
7. If they do pick up, small talk for like a minute or two," how are you" or "remember me". than i say are you free friday night, they say no. than they say " I'll call you when I have free time" They never call.

Suprising I have never gotten a fake number. I even asked for a girls number I just met. I walked up to her and talked for like a minute and asked for her number. at first she was like WTF face but she gave me her number.

Before we go any further, post a picture of yourself. Describe what clothes you wear, what subjects you cover in your small talk with women, whether you have girl friends - friends that are girls, how many friends you have on your facebook page, what you do for a living.

Even better would be video.

 

[MacGuffin]

Me?

No.

 

[Domino]

Before we go any further, post a picture of yourself. Describe what clothes you wear, what subjects you cover in your small talk with women, whether you have girl friends - friends that are girls, how many friends you have on your facebook page, what you do for a living.

Even better would be video.

I could high five you.

 

[Shimmy]

Glad I found this forum. I'm INTP and I have never been out on a date. I'm very confidence. So I asked out many girls but 0% success. I went to parties. 0%. I tried different method, just tell them how i really felt. That didn't work either.

0% rate is really starting to bother me. I mean I been asking girls out for couple years now. I don't sound "desperate". I'm starting to wonder what's wrong with me. I'm a great guy to be with. I know I can be very quite and socially awaward.

This is how things goes mostly.
1. start a conversation (it can be anything depending on the situation).
2. small talk 5-10minutes usually but can be longer or shorter depending on situation
3. ask em out on a date if i want to get to know them little bit more.
4. usually they smile and give em their number
5. i call them 2 days later ( I wait two days cause i don't want to look desperate or anything)
6. phone is either off or they don't pick up. I leave a message and if they call then it's a date if they don't call than i forget about it cause i'm not gonna call them and leave bunch of messages.
7. If they do pick up, small talk for like a minute or two," how are you" or "remember me". than i say are you free friday night, they say no. than they say " I'll call you when I have free time" They never call.

Suprising I have never gotten a fake number. I even asked for a girls number I just met. I walked up to her and talked for like a minute and asked for her number. at first she was like WTF face but she gave me her number.

When meeting a girl try arranging a date then and there. "Hey, I wanted to go to the park tomorrow, but my friend called me this morning and said he couldn't make it... Would you like to come with me?" Then there won't be any weird time-out in communication and she will have remembered you, and how nice you are better.

 

[tgk]

One of my ESFJ friends (think all-American football star, most popular kid in his HS, womanizer, etc) gave me some advice on picking up girls at parties that has served me quite well: Don't go to a party with your dick out. Just go, have fun no matter what happens, show others you are having fun, get other people to have fun, and girls will be attracted to you. Everything else tends to fall into place after this, and even you don't get laid you don't really care cause you had so much fun.

 

[Spamtar]

When meeting a girl try arranging a date then and there. "Hey, I wanted to go to the park tomorrow, but my friend called me this morning and said he couldn't make it... Would you like to come with me?" Then there won't be any weird time-out in communication and she will have remembered you, and how nice you are better.

I beg to differ to state most girls are not going to go on an instant date with him after 5-15 min talking.

As an alternative and build up rapport before a venue hop (even a little one i.e. within the club) sometimes I will take them on an "imaginary date". (i.e. tell them a story about what happens on our first date so they get comfortable with the idea. (at the end of the date they "date rape" me, lol)

So unless there is an extreme amount of sexual attraction or trust (or peer pressure), in general, the female target is not gonna go on a date then and there until more basic rapport is established.

Also: Looks/status/how your are perceived is important...but these things I addressing are basic social dynamic cues that you the seducer need to get a grip on before you set up your independent seduction strategy.

 

[Salomé]

Glad I found this forum. I'm INTP and I have never been out on a date.

Before we go any further, post a picture of yourself. Describe what clothes you wear, what subjects you cover in your small talk with women, whether you have girl friends - friends that are girls, how many friends you have on your facebook page, what you do for a living.

Even better would be video.

I could be wrong, but I think it's a dude.

 

[MacGuffin]

I could be wrong, but I think it's a dude.

We need to know what image this dude is projecting to women.

 

[Salomé]

We need to know what image this dude is projecting to women.

I bet you say that to all the dudes.

 

[MacGuffin]

I bet you say that to all the dudes.

Any excuse to strip them down to their boxers.

 

[think2much]

It sounds like you need to work on the "comfort" phase of attraction. In other words it seems there is the initial attraction to move into the comfort phase (deeper rapport) but you eject shortly afterwards.

Consider putting the phone number in your pocket and go beyond small talk to get and know the female better. If she has to split shortly after you get her number consider calling her back not to get "a date" rather build deeper rapport (caveat after a rapport established work on kino or other devices to build up her "buying temperature"/sexual attraction).

Wow, I'm suprise how well you figure that out. I couldn't agree more I always seem to avoid the "comfort phase". I have fear that once I get a comfortable and let myself connect with a girl I would be the one who would get hurt. But mostly I'm scared that once she finds out that I'm just a boring guy she would not be interested. I guess what i'm trying to say is, girls see me as mysterious guy and i don't want to relieve that and let them be disappointed.

If anyone can give me tips with "comfort phase" please let me know. I have hard time dealing with "first contact" such as "hugs", "holding hands", "arm around the shoulders". that kind of things. I know i'm very close to figuring out this dating stuff~!

 

[think2much]

Before we go any further, post a picture of yourself. Describe what clothes you wear, what subjects you cover in your small talk with women, whether you have girl friends - friends that are girls, how many friends you have on your facebook page, what you do for a living.

Even better would be video.

I'm not going to post my picture on internet so don't bother asking again.
You don't have to worry about what type of cloths i wear or how I look cause I pretty much have that down. How can I have confidence if i were ugly?

 

[Salomé]

I'm very confidence.

I'm scared that once she finds out that I'm just a boring guy she would not be interested.

Does not compute.

How can I have confidence if i were ugly?

You're asking the wrong person.


How old are you and where are you from?

My advice would be to just learn to relax around women without any expectations / agenda. Just letting go of that stuff will instantly make you more attractive. Be interested in them as people, not as quarry. You might surprise yourself.

 

[Edgar]

If anyone can give me tips with "comfort phase" please let me know. I have hard time dealing with "first contact" such as "hugs", "holding hands", "arm around the shoulders". that kind of things. I know i'm very close to figuring out this dating stuff~!

You can always substitute "comfort phase" with "chloroform phase".

It bypasses the social etiquette (INTP weakness), and instead deals with chemistry (INTP strength).

 

[think2much]

Quote:
Originally Posted by refreshe123d
I'm very confidence.

Quote:
Originally Posted by refreshe123d
I'm scared that once she finds out that I'm just a boring guy she would not be interested.

Does not compute.

I'm very confidence with my looks but not with my personality. I can approach the hottest girl in school without a sweat but I have hard time "opening up" cause like i said i'm afraid.

I'm 21, I live in OR, Why does it matter which state i'm in? I understand the age, but plz don't ask random question that doesn't relate to the issue.

My advice would be to just learn to relax around women without any expectations / agenda. Just letting go of that stuff will instantly make you more attractive. Be interested in them as people, not as quarry. You might surprise yourself.

If i don't have goal or objective what's the point of wasting my time and effect or even talking a girl in the first place?

"chloroform phase"

I'm not quite familiar with this, would you like to elaborate?

 

[Edgar]

I'm not quite familiar with this, would you like to elaborate?

... get my drift?

 

[think2much]

Consider putting the phone number in your pocket and go beyond small talk to get and know the female better.

@spamtar

I cannot go beyond small talk cause that would look desperate. I'm not one of those guys that chase girls. If girl shows no interest i move on. Why should I chase this girl, It should be the other way around. damn ego! I will not lower my standard by any means. I look at it in most simple form. I'm attractive to a girl, so does she. I ask her out and it's upto her to take it any farther if she wishes.

 

[Salomé]

I'm 21, I live in OR, Why does it matter which state i'm in? I understand the age, but plz don't ask random question that doesn't relate to the issue.

Oranges are not the only fruit. And the US is not the centre of the universe. I ask because your written English is so poor I thought you might be from a country where customs are different from those in most of the West, which would obviously be a significant variable.

If i don't have goal or objective what's the point of wasting my time and effect or even talking a girl in the first place?

Yeah. Nice attitude. Good luck with that.