[MBTI General] Why do I get along so well with INFJ's?

[Liason]

I am an INTJ and my favourite type of mbti is INFJ. I was wondering If I could have some great NT's pick apart just why an INTJ would be so attracted to INFJ's. Two of my best friends are very intelligent INFJ's. I have noticed they are very moral, while I, understanding morality as a relative viewpoint, am not.

 

[Sniffles]

They're both Ni-dominated types.

 

[Athenian200]

I am an INTJ and my favourite type of mbti is INFJ. I was wondering If I could have some great NT's pick apart just why an INTJ would be so attracted to INFJ's. Two of my best friends are very intelligent INFJ's. I have noticed they are very moral, while I, understanding morality as a relative viewpoint, am not.

You really don't know?

Well, for one thing... INFJs and INTJs are very close to being the same type. We've both got dominant Ni, and inferior Se. Meaning we share a lot of the same interests, and a lot of the same problem areas and discomforts.

We both tend to be fairly balanced on T/F, and the main difference is that INTJs have Te and Fi, while INFJs have Fe and Ti. This provides just enough difference to make things interesting, while there's still a LOT of similarity.

Also, one small bone to pick... being moral doesn't imply a failure to understand morality as a relative viewpoint. It simply indicates a desire to choose one perspective as a form of expression. That would be like saying that choosing a single system of organization is a failure to understand that other systems can be just as effective.

Anyway, this is the theoretical reason. I'm not quite as clever as an NT, but I can tell you that even they, as clever as they are, are going to need more information if you want them to tell you the reason that you personally (and not just as an INTJ) like INFJs a lot.

Oh, I almost forgot to add... INTJs are some of my favorite people as well. They're very imaginative and good at execution. After having engaged NTPs, I've found them a bit wanting intellectually, but they make up for this with their creativity, perceptiveness, passion, determination/willpower, and practical abilities. INTPs make better logicians, but INTJs make better friends and are more effective at achieving their goals. In summary, I'd say INTPs are better at logic, while INTJs are better at everything else, including mastery of a particular subject.

Note that these are all rather gross generalizations and may not apply to individual INTs.

 

[Liason]

You really don't know?

Well, for one thing... INFJs and INTJs are very close to being the same type. We've both got dominant Ni, and inferior Se. Meaning we share a lot of the same interests, and a lot of the same problem areas and discomforts.

We both tend to be fairly balanced on T/F, and the main difference is that INTJs have Te and Fi, while INFJs have Fe and Ti. This provides just enough difference to make things interesting, while there's still a LOT of similarity.

Also, one small bone to pick... being moral doesn't imply a failure to understand morality as a relative viewpoint. It simply indicates a desire to choose one perspective as a form of expression. That would be like saying that choosing a single system of organization is a failure to understand that other systems can be just as effective.

Anyway, this is the theoretical reason. I'm not quite as clever as an NT, but I can tell you that even they, as clever as they are, are going to need more information if you want them to tell you the reason that you personally (and not just as an INTJ) like INFJs a lot.

I simply set this towards NT's because this is the NT placed thread, but I respect your opinion

As for the morality, my two highly moral infj friends believe that morality is not a viewpoint and is not flexible. They believe it is a solid rule and seek to follow it. (devout christians glued to their bibles they are.)

 

[poppy]

I think having three features in common helps, the people I click the most naturally with are often ISTJ and INFJ. Both operate very similarly to INTJ, but not so similarly that there's a lot of conflict. I think Athenian hit the nail on the head.

 

[INTJ123]

I simply set this towards NT's because this is the NT placed thread, but I respect your opinion

As for the morality, my two highly moral infj friends believe that morality is not a viewpoint and is not flexible. They believe it is a solid rule and seek to follow it. (devout christians glued to their bibles they are.)

Interesting.. I have a good infj friend of 10 years or so myself. I dunno really why we get along, but I do tend to get along with fellow intuitives better.

The reason I really find this interesting though is because of what you said about you and your friend's viewpoints on morality... because 5 years ago I held your current views, but now I hold similar views as your infj friends. Not that I'm glued to a bible nor dogmatic in my views but I now see morality as something concrete and not flexible, it is what it is and I can't change it.

 

[Athenian200]

As for the morality, my two highly moral infj friends believe that morality is not a viewpoint and is not flexible. They believe it is a solid rule and seek to follow it. (devout christians glued to their bibles they are.)

Personally, I'd chalk that up to immaturity and a religious upbringing (other things could cause it, though) more than being an INFJ. I ended up abandoning religion after a certain point in my life. It was because it became I had a hunch one day, that the whole thing was written as a form of manipulation. I looked back over it... and I realized just how obvious it was.

Since I've studied philosophy, I've come to view moral absolutism as a form of mental immaturity on many levels. So don't worry... if your INFJ friends aren't totally brainwashed, they have a chance of transcending that particular brand of religion (they might stop seeing morality as a solid view).

 

[Lightyear]

I think having three features in common helps, the people I click the most naturally with are often ISTJ and INFJ. Both operate very similarly to INTJ, but not so similarly that there's a lot of conflict. I think Athenian hit the nail on the head.

Hmm... not so sure about this rule. For example with ISFJs there is just one letter difference but I find it difficult to truly click with them due to their S. I guess S vs N might be a bigger bridge to cross (at least for me) then P vs J etc.

 

[Sarcasticus]

Hmm... not so sure about this rule. For example with ISFJs there is just one letter difference but I find it difficult to truly click with them due to their S. I guess S vs N might be a bigger bridge to cross (at least for me) then P vs J etc.

Yep. I think when it comes to romantic relationships the N/S divide is a difficult one-- you just don't think the same way. It's better for communication if this letter is shared in common.

Of course for friends in general it's not so important. For example I have a friend that's an ESTJ, another that's an ISTP, and another that's an ISTJ. But I'd never be romantically involved with another S.

 

[mortabunt]

^ What he said. The only people I feel a real connection to are an ENFP I know IRL, and that's about it. I know this chick that I really like who claims to be ESTJ. I think she's more ESFJ.

 

[poppy]

Hmm... not so sure about this rule. For example with ISFJs there is just one letter difference but I find it difficult to truly click with them due to their S. I guess S vs N might be a bigger bridge to cross (at least for me) then P vs J etc.

That's true, so for that reason I wouldn't call it a rule but I've found it to be true for me. I do think NT and NF are more likely to get along than NT and STJ/STP despite the shared functions there.