[NT] I have to write something here?

[Zoom]

This is the place for personal threads, I hate the idea of a blog, and do not have a close friend in this particular city.

My car broke down for the first time a week ago, and then did it again a couple of days later.

My biological father died a few days ago.

I have a midterm tomorrow and can't sleep, and probably won't do very well even though I managed to do well on the others. This one simply has too much material and I can't focus right now, and I'll admit that.

I'm at a point where I know all the normal crap about how life goes on, I'll feel better after a night's sleep, but...

I'm so tired. There is so much that I am doing and I'm doing it well enough, but when I get to my relationships with others I give the rest of what I have and then there's nothing left except exhaustion... there is no one who puts me before themselves, and that is naturally what I do with those I care about, so it's a hard thing to not be given in return.

I don't know if asking for reassurance and honest thoughts is unreasonable, but I'll do it anyway. Either way I had to write something, somewhere.

So aye, apologies for the moping style of writing.

Also, I've been crying far too much for my tastes in the last week and bloody hate it. Normally my sense of humor is what I have through dark times and not having even that is wearying.

 

[bluebell]

Sorry to hear about your father.

Makes sense that you're overwhelmed at the moment. Take care, things will gradually get easier with time.

Edit: Can you ask your lecturer to have your midterm postponed given what's just happened?

 

[Fluffywolf]

Sometimes life can really get us down, what always worked well for me is to just put all the sorrow in reserve for a short time if I have to do something important. Life is long and I expect to have much ahead of me, so when I was feeling very down, I would just click a button figuratively and just focus on what I needed to focus on. Temporarily putting all the worries aside. Until whatever I needed to do is a done deal and then I start processing it all.

Everyone is different, and I hope you will find a way that makes you come out best. But if you would like my advice, then yeah, focus on future, try to succeed at least in the mid term. I'm sure that would in turn make you feel much better as well. Instead of flunking it would would probably only add to the worries.

You're an NT, so I figure you should be able to do the same method I can do. Just put the sorrow aside (not forever, it's important to deal with it, it just doesn't mean you -have- to deal with it straigth away.), and focus on doing something good.

 

[Athenian200]

You have way too much on your plate. Please don't feel bad if you don't do well on the midterm. You've certainly been though enough that you couldn't possibly be expected to focus on that so soon. Most people wouldn't even expect so much of themselves.

Give yourself room to relax, don't push it too much. You seem like you give a lot, but aren't getting enough in return for your effort these days. That's a very hard thing to sustain, rewards are what usually drive people to keep putting in effort.

 

[Serendipity]

You're an NT, so I figure you should be able to do the same method I can do. Just put the sorrow aside (not forever, it's important to deal with it, it just doesn't mean you -have- to deal with it straigth away.), and focus on doing something good.

This is probably true for NF's as well as NT's. And probably SF/ST's as well. And whilst in the process, J's.


Silentium, have a better than bad day.

 

[Kasper]

Sorry to hear Silentium

Sounds like it might be time to reassess some of your friendships if you feel as though you're giving but not getting enough in return. Like bb said, maybe you can get some kind of delay on doing your midterm?

 

[Zoom]

Thank you. I am taking care of the exam, and looking to get further extension on it simply because I haven't slept in... since Wednesday? I'm not sure, but long enough that I'm far from peak performance and am actually okay with the idea of putting it off, when I would normally just get it out of the way.

I am having a better than bad day, because I vented (which, when I need to do it, indicates that I really need to purge something mentally) and am having enough caffeine that I'm fidgety but not jittery. I am not okay, but now I'm okay with the fact that I'm not all right, which almost seems to help. I'm not insane, I'm just having a really, really bad week.

I put aside everything for about a week, as I made arrangements and supported family members and went to classes and work and had roundabout, tiring conversations with my partner. There was a tipping point when I realized everyone was going away and I was essentially alone, again.

More caffeine.