[MBTI General] INTX and extroversion

[Risen]

Small talk takes a lot of effort on my part. I can do it... but if the other person also happens to be an introvert the conversation fizzles quickly. If you give me an Extrovert to try to do small talk with, I can keep up my end much easier. I think they just give me more to feed on.

This is why I (and probably most introverts) could only date an extravert or an introvert with a fairly high E.

 

[Uytuun]

I pushed myself and faked it till I made it (helped by general growing up). Practice makes perfect...it just becomes a part of you. It's just really nice to have people grow on you, to learn how to share with them and be part of a group, make a person happy by doing a little smalltalk (and learn to value it as a way to connect) and generally feel more at ease. I don't know in how far this scenario is doable for INTPs because it requires a ruthlessly pragmatic mindset (vs. INTP need for authenticity?).

I'll never be an E and that's just fine, but it's made my life significantly easier/more enjoyable and richer and that's what I was going for. I keep challenging myself - it used to be mainly E, now I feel like it's P.

It's much easier to feed/exercise those weaker functions in environments that are structured according to them.

 

[nocebo]

I'm just going to say as an introvert, I tend to have real difficulties talking to people if we're not talking about something substantial. If I want to talk someone but it isn't about something that requires fairly focused discussion, I find it really tiring to converse with that person, even if I want the contact.

So yeah, unless if there's humor in it or if it's something important, I would rather not talk at all than make small talk.

I used to do this, too.
Sometimes I would just walk away in mid-conversation!

But soon I discovered that you can take "small talk" and push it in a more substantial direction. Most people have an analytical side, but they don't feel confident enough to use it. Engaging in small talk can help them feel more comfortable with you, and then it's easy to bring up a more interesting topic!

 

[Wade Wilson]

Lately I've just been in the habit of blurting out whatever it is I want to say to the other person, regardless of location.

I was on the train once to work and saw someone across from me reading this really skinny book (I'm near-sighted so couldn't see what it actually was). It took me a few moments to work up to it but eventually I got up, moved into the seat next to them and just asked, "Excuse me, what's that you're reading?" and, interestingly enough... it worked.

The best is when you're overhearing a nearby conversation about something you're familiar with and someone makes a mistake. It's so ridiculously easy to get into a conversation that way.

 

[Aleph-One]

Lately I've just been in the habit of blurting out whatever it is I want to say to the other person, regardless of location.

Lately? NTPs do that all the time.

 

[Wade Wilson]

Lately? NTPs do that all the time.

I mean to complete strangers. I've rarely interacted with the outside world for quite a few years.

 

[Aleph-One]

The book thing is a good angle. Especially if you happen to disagree with the other person about the book, I think. Disagreement gets the INT conversational juices flowing much more readily than the superfluous affirmation of assent.

 

[Wade Wilson]

The book thing is a good angle. Especially if you happen to disagree with the other person about the book, I think. Disagreement gets the INT conversational juices flowing much more readily than the superfluous affirmation of assent.

Unfortunately it was for a Greek language course... unless I lied and went on about how I hate feta cheese or something.

I've already been told by one person I ended up speaking to on the train that they wanted to say something for months but I always looked so angry.

I really have no idea how to not look angry without looking like a loon.

 

[Asterion]

awww, that's sad... I always look like more of a goof than an angry little man. I agree with the self depreciation stuff, but some people (particularly those in higher spots on the hierarchy, like teachers) seem to want to hate you when you do something incredibly dumb and laugh it off... like they think they're better than you or something. One of those that has done that to me was probably ENTJ, she was an interesting chick

 

[Lasting_Pain]

Never really wanted to be an ENTP. Nothing really special about them.

 

[deepthought]

I prefer to stick to my introversion. Although it can be awkward at times with some of my E friends, I'd still rather never be like that.