[ENTP] ENTP Ennui

[substitute]

I dunno, I think a lot of it comes from enforced stability that really, honestly just isn't good for Ne dominant people.

As long as I remember, my wanderlust and eagerness to bring on and embrace change and adventure in my life has been seen by most people as some kind of flaw, or due to some kind of personality defect.

People say "running away won't solve anything" and "you have to learn to settle down one day" and things like that. But I wonder - do I? Why?

Cos I've never felt like I was running away from anything. In fact, if you replayed the movie of my life so far, you'd find precious little evidence of me being a person who evades their responsibilities or tries to run away when things get tough. In fact, you'll find lots of evidence of a "bring it on" person who sallies out to meet things head on and is more than capable of knuckling down when the need arises.

No, it's not "running from" but "running to". To the next adventure. To more knowledge, to better and wider understanding, to broader horizons.

I wonder whether America and the rest of the new world would still be unknown to Europeans and in the Stone Age if people like Vespucci, Columbus, Cook, Scott, Polo and others had been diagnosed with some kind of "restless personality disorder" and forced to settle down to white picket fences and an entire life in the same town with the same people and the same career.

I need exploration and adventure. It's fundamental and defining part of who I am. If denied it I shrivel up, atrophize, become a corked bottle of lust for life that threatens to implode. It's not a personality flaw, it's who I am and it's valid, dammit.

 

[Synarch]

I may go back and read this thread, didn't wanna forget what I was thinking. I googled "ENTP Ennui" and found this, how odd, I wanted to see how often they were used together. I'm seriously suffering from this right now and behaving oddly even for me. I'm worried it's going to freak people out and I don't want my actions taken wrong.

I have only two modes, 150 miles an hour and stopped. I can't control 150mph for long amounts of time and I worry about the toll it takes on me. I worry a lot about getting stuck there without knowing I've done it. I have done this in the past, I can't sleep, I cant sit through a movie, life in unbearable.

Stopped, well I can't take that either, I get caught in Ne/Ti loops for long amounts of time. I get bored, disappointed in myself for wasting my potential and it's not healthy for me but I have NEVER found any balance, nothing even close to it.

So now I sit, and this is going to sound odd, maybe like a cry for help though I assure you it is anything but. I sit loving life and wanting to suck every ounce of enjoyment I can out of it yet at the same time feeling profoundly tiered in a way sleep won't help, feeling totally worn out and exhausted, no longer wanting to do this, any of it. At least not like I have been.

I feel like I'm in a fighter doing mach 5 when an engine goes out. I know I don't have long to get it restarted and now, I feel like I have this one last big chance but if it doesn't happen there won't be time to eject. I feel like if I eject I know the force of doing so will rip my limbs from me. So, I'm going to give it this one last grand try and if it doesn't work I'm going to crash this bitch into the side of a mountain and have fun doing it.

I am planning to make some very drastic changes to my life in hopes I will find what I'm looking for. I don't know that's possible, the way I eat up information I feel like I'm running out of things to learn. I feel like they're band-aids, buying me 2-3 years at a time. I love life, a lot so I don't know what else to do but I can tell you this freaks me out and has been my biggest fear for a very, very long time.

Yeah, I relate to this. For me personally, I am working on being still. Working on being calm. Letting bad feelings just wash over me instead of fighting against them. It's not easy, but the survival strategies I developed as a kid are no longer adaptive. They no longer make sense. So, I need to develop new strategies.

How does a survivor of internal wars transition to peace time?

 

[entropie]

At the moment my life is so troubled and I have to constantly meet deadlines, be somewhere or remember to sign in somewhere a week that I even bought an Organizer.

Cant really say that I am on autopilot, cause I discover new worlds on a daily basis atm.

I get the feeling tho and I am glad our dear lord god blessed me with bad memory. Therefore to discover new planets starts every day again from point zero

 

[jenocyde]

I get the feeling tho and I am glad our dear lord god blessed me with bad memory. Therefore to discover new planets starts every day again from point zero

Yeah, it's cool to be able to take one lap around the fish tank to find a whole new world all over again... but sometimes my bad memory scares me - I forget people very quickly, but I never forget things I care about (facts and figures, politics, scientific equations, etc...) *yikes*

 

[Domino]

Yeah, it's cool to be able to take one lap around the fish tank to find a whole new world all over again... but sometimes my bad memory scares me - I forget people very quickly, but I never forget things I care about (facts and figures, politics, scientific equations, etc...) *yikes*

That must be nice sometimes. People stick in my mind like velcro. I have difficulty ever forgetting them, even when I want to. I sometimes feel like I have a bus station in my brain, with noise and people, alive and dead, walking through all the time. 90% of the time, my memory is horrifyingly precise.

 

[jenocyde]

That must be nice sometimes. People stick in my mind like velcro. I have difficulty ever forgetting them, even when I want to. I sometimes feel like a I have a bus station in my brain, with noise and people walking through all the time. 90% of the time, my memory is horrifyingly precise.

Well, I feel guilty that I forget people. I always get called out on it, too ("I know your name, we've actually met quite a few times before, you know!") It makes me seem very superficial, but I don't do it on purpose... But I certainly don't want what you've described either!

 

[Qre:us]

At the moment my life is so troubled and I have to constantly meet deadlines, be somewhere or remember to sign in somewhere a week that I even bought an Organizer.

I bought organizers, planners, my supervisor decided to present me with a calendar (ahem!), my mom keeps wanting to buy me a watch (it'll be a really NICE one! she enthused).

I have yet to utilize any of the above. I figure, if the date/time is something that I'm 'scared of'/anticipating meeting...it will glue itself to my head. Otherwise, whatever effort I put towards it might as well have been nothing, if I need aid in remembering the importance of such a task/commitment.

My problems are many. My motivation to change myself? Too few.

EDIT: Just remembered, I DO USE A CALENDAR! Google Calendar, as I'm forced to by the supervisor. Well, 'use' is a pretty liberal term...let's just say, I have a google calendar.

 

[Domino]

Well, I feel guilty that I forget people. I always get called out on it, too ("I know your name, we've actually met quite a few times before, you know!") It makes me seem very superficial, but I don't do it on purpose...

Can anyone recommend a method to help Jen remember people? Like a mental trick?

But I certainly don't want what you've described either!

No, you really really don't. I've learned to adjust to it, but it's never comfortable. I think that's why I may recoil from people sometimes. I don't want to acquire them. Like sick whales beaching and dying in my psyche.

 

[Qre:us]

Well, I feel guilty that I forget people. I always get called out on it, too ("I know your name, we've actually met quite a few times before, you know!") It makes me seem very superficial, but I don't do it on purpose... But I certainly don't want what you've described either!

I am horrible with names as well. But, the way I've circumvented it, is not by figuring out a way to get better remembering names...but, use what ya got!

For me, I'm very good at placing the person, if I'm met them before. E.g., something, some obscure thing about them I'll remember. Something that piqued my interest in them as a human being, different from self.

So, I forego the whole name remembering - and go straight to the Fe-appeal. Ask them that specific thing about them that I remember. Not only does me not remembering names not matter (after conversation ensues, I slyly slip it in, by then, though, they feel that familiarity that they laugh it off). But, they appreciate my brand of closeness more than remembering their name and vital stats. Endear first, you can't go wrong after.

 

[jenocyde]

Yeah, but I forget their faces, too. Once we start talking and my memory gets jogged, I can then remember everything they've said before from their occupation to their sick grandmother. But I can pass by people I've spent time with and never recognize them or remember them. I can't tell how many people say hi to me on a daily basis and I have no clue who the hell they are.

 

[professor goodstain]

How does a survivor of internal wars transition to peace time?

Imo. Remain consistent with your character. Any entity (other people/your very self) gain understanding of your character over time and come to terms with it, hopefully with a dash of reconcile here and there along with amends when it concerns others. I do this on a constent basis as of late. It's mostly low level though. Remember-when an ENTP fucks up by doing something inconsistent with their character, it's usually a pretty large blunder. I could also be wrong here too. Just speculation. <*writing that last bit so that i avoid any blunders by adhering to it myself*

Edit: ENTP screwups as in any screwups that are observed as unusual by either the ENTP or others in that it is uncharacteristic and could be deemed premeditated as in the screwup was (planned). Please note: like your quote in the OP, Those dishes were predicted to break eventually due to the consistency of the character spinning them didn't really plan on adding another, they just added it spontaneuosly for possibly the sake of efficiency but more likely the sake of experimentation. I also edited this post 3 times in the last four hours, so i really don't know why they added another dish but i can certainly agree in adding another dish whatever the outcome may be.




That or wait till you're 50

 

[entropie]

I bought organizers, planners, my supervisor decided to present me with a calendar (ahem!), my mom keeps wanting to buy me a watch (it'll be a really NICE one! she enthused).

I have yet to utilize any of the above. I figure, if the date/time is something that I'm 'scared of'/anticipating meeting...it will glue itself to my head. Otherwise, whatever effort I put towards it might as well have been nothing, if I need aid in remembering the importance of such a task/commitment.

My problems are many. My motivation to change myself? Too few.

EDIT: Just remembered, I DO USE A CALENDAR! Google Calendar, as I'm forced to by the supervisor. Well, 'use' is a pretty liberal term...let's just say, I have a google calendar.

I lately experienced phase displacement in the spacetime continuum again, when I woke up in the morning, repeatedly watched my clock to not be late and the seconds kept ticking like hours; when suddenly something on wikipedia caught my attention and though the organizer was alarming me, I lost 30 minutes there and was late for work again

 

[Frank]

Sure, there are challenges in life, but they're either like crosswords - pointless, gain nothing by doing them, or exams - you know you could pass it if you really wanted to, but don't care enough to do the work, and it's not worth bothering with the work because pwning it won't give satisfaction when you never doubted you could anyway.

Do you ever feel like ennui will utterly engulf you if you don't keep on "adding plates", to use Synarch's brilliant analogy? Do you yearn for something that will be able to force you out of autopilot? Stop this feeling of coasting through 'til you get to an important part that never comes?

I think this could possibly be an NT thing in general. When you view things through the lens of intuition and logic you will inevitably be faced with the possibility that nothing really matters. Eventually, whatever you create will be destroyed, whatever you love will cease to exist, the material world is almost an illusion there for our entertainment and we all end up dead with our lives meaning virtually nothing in the big picture. Even our beloved goals are actually quite trivial in the grand scheme of things. One of the most brilliant men I ever knew was an entp. These types of realizations became so overwhelming to him that he left his extremely lucrative job, left his family and spent his remaining days holed up in a shack building computers and broadcasting his ham radio station.

 

[Samvega]

Yeah, I relate to this. For me personally, I am working on being still. Working on being calm. Letting bad feelings just wash over me instead of fighting against them. It's not easy, but the survival strategies I developed as a kid are no longer adaptive. They no longer make sense. So, I need to develop new strategies.

How does a survivor of internal wars transition to peace time?

I have put a lot of checks in place for myself. I filter my words at their intentions so as not to be backhanded or manipulative. In doing so I've been known to apologize to people for intentions they didn't even notice. I won't speak to people I know I can't keep my mouth in check with or when I know I don't have anything positive to say to them. I've taken away all the distractions forcing myself to stay lucid and face any and every issue head on in an effort to learn and grow from it.

I have read a lot, meditated a lot and calmed much of the noise in my head only to find a new battle and I'm just tired of it.

I don't know, sadly I don't think ENTPs are the people that ever have somebody solve anything for us and that's the bane of our existence, we seem to be able to so clearly help others that can't help themselves yet we can't always do the same for us. We are sadly the people we're looking for in this world.

 

[Sentura]

I lately experienced phase displacement in the spacetime continuum again, when I woke up in the morning, repeatedly watched my clock to not be late and the seconds kept ticking like hours; when suddenly something on wikipedia caught my attention and though the organizer was alarming me, I lost 30 minutes there and was late for work again

i thought this only happened to me...

 

[Sentura]

I think this could possibly be an NT thing in general. When you view things through the lens of intuition and logic you will inevitably be faced with the possibility that nothing really matters. Eventually, whatever you create will be destroyed, whatever you love will cease to exist, the material world is almost an illusion there for our entertainment and we all end up dead with our lives meaning virtually nothing in the big picture. Even our beloved goals are actually quite trivial in the grand scheme of things. One of the most brilliant men I ever knew was an entp. These types of realizations became so overwhelming to him that he left his extremely lucrative job, left his family and spent his remaining days holed up in a shack building computers and broadcasting his ham radio station.

you know, i have a dream, or an imagination of that when i grow old, i'm gonna head out to either siberia or some other forest-y sphere and live my remaining days by myself. there are very few things or people that matter to me; i don't even feel related to my own family anymore.

i'm not sure whether this is just Ne or whether this is actually bordering on the inhumane. either way, i'm at peace with myself in my current state of mind.

 

[Fiver]

I'm never just a tiny bit interested in something, I become obsessessed and obsessively work to learn more and more about it.

But. Whenever I am in a lull and looking around and nothing is capturing my imagination. The boredom that follows. is. so. oppressive.

 

[563 740]

tl;dr

 

[CJ99]

you know, i have a dream, or an imagination of that when i grow old, i'm gonna head out to either siberia or some other forest-y sphere and live my remaining days by myself. there are very few things or people that matter to me; i don't even feel related to my own family anymore.

i'm not sure whether this is just Ne or whether this is actually bordering on the inhumane. either way, i'm at peace with myself in my current state of mind.

Anymore? The only person in my family i've ever felt related to is my sis (an INFP).

 

[Sentura]

Anymore? The only person in my family i've ever felt related to is my sis (an INFP).

i guess i felt more related when i was a kid, perhaps due to our family situation. i have a few intuitive people in my family whom i think good conversationalists, but it doesn't go further than that. there is no "love" or attachment; perhaps there never was.