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[INTP] INTPs, do people come to you when they have problems?

groovejet02

New member
Joined
Jan 9, 2009
Messages
199
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5
I find myself playing counselor to a lot of my friends. They seek advice about everything from employment, moving places, to their love lives. They don't hesitate to tell me everything including illnesses, depression, family discords and abuse. I am actually regarded affectionately by my friends as someone who is willing to listen.

Do any of you INTPs find yourself in the same situation? I wonder why this is so. INTPs infamously have the least understanding of feelings. For example, I am so bad with my feelings that I tend to repress them until they eat me away or make me explode. And I could never accept feelings for what they are -- I'm always trying to analyze it to see if they "make sense".

And for you non-INTPs, do you think INTPs are good at offering a listening ear?
 

Fluffywolf

Nips away your dignity
Joined
Mar 31, 2009
Messages
9,581
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
9
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Yes, many a non-NT enjoy my rational view on things and that can work very soothingly if they trust me and are open to my suggestions.

I am however careful as not all people tend to take advice the right way. :p

If all else fails, I am very gifted in making a hilarious ass out of myself that lifts even the most dark of spirits in this world.
 

groovejet02

New member
Joined
Jan 9, 2009
Messages
199
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5
I am however careful as not all people tend to take advice the right way. :p


There's been a once or twice when my friends take my advice as a sign of coldness. I remind myself that often people just need a listening ear.
 

JocktheMotie

Habitual Fi LineStepper
Joined
Nov 20, 2008
Messages
8,491
Interesting you bring this up. When I was in high school, one of the first days they had you fill out a questionnaire that would ask you who you'd go to if you had a problem and needed to talk about it. I was one of about 20 and we were basically trained in counseling, mediation, and listening methods in order to turn us into peer mediator counselors. I always thought my selection was odd since I don't think I possess very good sympathetic attributes. The program was called Natural Helpers, but thankfully I never had to deal with a serious situation.
 

Totenkindly

@.~*virinaĉo*~.@
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
50,192
MBTI Type
BELF
Enneagram
594
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I find myself playing counselor to a lot of my friends. They seek advice about everything from employment, moving places, to their love lives. They don't hesitate to tell me everything including illnesses, depression, family discords and abuse. I am actually regarded affectionately by my friends as someone who is willing to listen.

Do any of you INTPs find yourself in the same situation? I wonder why this is so. INTPs infamously have the least understanding of feelings. For example, I am so bad with my feelings that I tend to repress them until they eat me away or make me explode. And I could never accept feelings for what they are -- I'm always trying to analyze it to see if they "make sense".

Yes, I get a LOT of people coming to me asking for advice.

Typical reasons they've given me:
1. "You're safe -- I can tell you anything and you don't judge me."
2. "You're perceptive, you see things I wouldn't have even noticed."
3. "You're smart and see how everything fits together."
4. "You care about me and empathize."
5. "You give good workable advice and show how it can be applied in a situation."
6. "You listen well."

When I was younger, I was much harsher about feelings (I also tried to "analyze" them and then ignore the ones that made no sense and was critical of others who were emotional), but when I came into my own I had learned to accept them as valid parts of people's personality that had to be accepted and dealt with, rather than suppressed or ignored. I have had to work through some serious psychological/emotional issues in my own life and it made me far more sensitive of others and accepting of where they are at.

So I feel pretty well integrated at this time in my life and able to be useful to just about anyone.

I think INTPs who develop acceptance/sensitivity of emotions have a lot to offer. The good observation skills, the big picture thinking, ability to see things from multiple views (thus able to see things through the other person's eyes), comprehension of complex systems (which is basically what people's patterns of behavior are), the ability to detach and so not get personally screwed up by or immersed within another person's issues, the ability to start without many assumptions and thus keep a more open view of things, the potential to articulate ideas well and accurately... lots of good stuff there.

The biggest hindrance is the hang-up on dismissing emotions as invalid in some way or unworthy of attention, and of not thinking about how best to deliver information to the person needing help. You have to do it for THEM, not for YOU; and so, just like with teachers (who have similar qualities to counselors, communication is the goal), you see it from their angle and then figure out what will specifically be of most use to THEM.
 

Laurie

Was E.laur
Joined
Jan 3, 2009
Messages
6,072
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7w6
I like having an NT that I can talk to, lots of ideas and understanding and not much drama or offending. Used to be an INTJ and now it has morphed to an INTP.
 

INA

now! in shell form
Joined
Jun 6, 2008
Messages
3,195
MBTI Type
intp
I find myself playing counselor to a lot of my friends. They seek advice about everything from employment, moving places, to their love lives. They don't hesitate to tell me everything including illnesses, depression, family discords and abuse. I am actually regarded affectionately by my friends as someone who is willing to listen.

Do any of you INTPs find yourself in the same situation? I wonder why this is so. INTPs infamously have the least understanding of feelings. For example, I am so bad with my feelings that I tend to repress them until they eat me away or make me explode. And I could never accept feelings for what they are -- I'm always trying to analyze it to see if they "make sense".

And for you non-INTPs, do you think INTPs are good at offering a listening ear?

YES!
It's sort of puzzling.
Reasons I've heard: objective/ fair/ logical/ can handle it and won't get emotional/ able to "get" what they're trying to say/ have it all sorted out :wtf: / know everything :D
Mostly it's school, job,or life decisions but sometimes they even ask me for advice about their relationships with other people. :huh: At that point I give them a link to the intp descriptions online. i keed. But you'd think they'd know better.

Sometimes I honestly have no clue but can try to point them in the direction of somebody who might.
 

Mitzy

brat
Joined
Oct 2, 2008
Messages
687
MBTI Type
ENTP
this is funny because the people i go to vent and ask for advice are intp's :p

i think theyre great...
like jen said, ntp makes it better. intuitive/logical/objective/perceptive, etc
but the difference between intp advice and that of entp is that entp's seem to be more scattered. intp's anaylze everything and actually TAKE TIME to give you the correct and accurate answer whereas entp's see it a million different ways and are pretty indecisive and seem to work too fast to give you a correct answer (one quick answer will lead to another possibility that makes for an answer, goes on for ages)
and if anything, other entp's always seem to be in the same boat as i am, anyway.
plus, intp's are i's which in some way, makes it easy for them to listen and hard for them to say no when someone does goes to them. maybe because a lot of them seem to be 'softer' compared to e's
 

Orangey

Blah
Joined
Jun 26, 2008
Messages
6,354
MBTI Type
ESTP
Enneagram
6w5
Friends often seek out my opinion on matters that are of particular importance to them. Usually it's not in pursuit of sympathy (they know I'm no good there), but they really do want to hear my solution to their problem. Or at least I think so. Also, I am probably the least judgmental person they know, so that in and of itself is inviting.
 

Salomé

meh
Joined
Sep 25, 2008
Messages
10,527
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Friends often seek out my opinion on matters that are of particular importance to them. Usually it's not in pursuit of sympathy (they know I'm no good there), but they really do want to hear my solution to their problem. Or at least I think so. Also, I am probably the least judgmental person they know, so that in and of itself is inviting.

This.
But they never fucking LISTEN to me!
Stupid people. I'm always right too.
 

CJ99

Is Willard in Footloose!!
Joined
Jan 5, 2009
Messages
582
MBTI Type
ENTP
^ hahahaa

See i still get this even though i'm more eNTP now. I'm sure its because anyone who knows me at all knows that they can tell me anything and i won't react with judgement i'll more just sort of interogate them slightly to figure out how there thinking so i can see it from their view then sort of point out where and why other people think differently which a lot of my friends value.

I think its because INTPs are such detached big picture thinkers so they are very good at understanding how other people think and getting in their mind set - even if retarded at figuring how they are feeling - so they can get a really good idea of exactly why people have problems and never being the type to shy away from the truth will tell you the answer when other "tactfully" won't.

I think the ENTP isn't as good at it because there not as good at focusing on the problem and really analysing it as deeply. Also ENTPs have a tendancy to see "the problem" as not a problem, just the person caring too much.
If they put their mind to it though there as good at it as INTPs - and also have a slightly easier time understanding emotions.
 

run

New member
Joined
Dec 27, 2008
Messages
466
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INTP
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5w4
I've always wanted to be a therapist...
 

Verfremdungseffekt

videodrones; questions
Joined
Apr 23, 2009
Messages
866
MBTI Type
INTp
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5w4
Something that puzzled me a little -- I was listening to a friend; she's going through a bunch of stuff, yet is slow and circuitous at addressing any of it. At one point, in passing, she commented that she didn't know if I had any problems of my own, but... so-and-so. I can't remember where that transition led; it's the transition itself that sticks out.

I tend to think of myself as a bit of a basket case. I'm depressed more often than not. In social situations I feel profoundly awkward and anxious; I often have such trouble finding my words that I grind to a halt. When I'm around people I know fairly well, and my tongue does loosen up, it sometimes feels like I have to bite it to keep from complaining. I feel like I constantly need to check myself; make sure I'm not stepping on anyone's toes, either figuratively or literally.

Yet apparently I come off as serene and confident. Just shows ya!
 

jenocyde

half mystic, half skeksis
Joined
Jan 2, 2009
Messages
6,387
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
7w8
Something that puzzled me a little -- I was listening to a friend; she's going through a bunch of stuff, yet is slow and circuitous at addressing any of it. At one point, in passing, she commented that she didn't know if I had any problems of my own, but... so-and-so. I can't remember where that transition led; it's the transition itself that sticks out.

I tend to think of myself as a bit of a basket case. I'm depressed more often than not. In social situations I feel profoundly awkward and anxious; I often have such trouble finding my words that I grind to a halt. When I'm around people I know fairly well, and my tongue does loosen up, it sometimes feels like I have to bite it to keep from complaining. I feel like I constantly need to check myself; make sure I'm not stepping on anyone's toes, either figuratively or literally.

Yet apparently I come off as serene and confident. Just shows ya!

:hug::hug::hug:

Where is all the anxiety coming from? What do you think the worst case scenario is in these situations - what's stopping you from being you?

I'm really sorry to hear about your depression...
 

Magic Poriferan

^He pronks, too!
Joined
Nov 4, 2007
Messages
14,081
MBTI Type
Yin
Enneagram
One
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I have been in this position many times. I find it annoying though. People usually want me to just be silent, or reflexively affirmative. They don't seem to like it when I actually attempt to solve their problems.
 

jenocyde

half mystic, half skeksis
Joined
Jan 2, 2009
Messages
6,387
MBTI Type
ENTP
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7w8
I think the ENTP isn't as good at it because there not as good at focusing on the problem and really analysing it as deeply. Also ENTPs have a tendancy to see "the problem" as not a problem, just the person caring too much.

That's not true at all.
 

Salomé

meh
Joined
Sep 25, 2008
Messages
10,527
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Something that puzzled me a little -- I was listening to a friend; she's going through a bunch of stuff, yet is slow and circuitous at addressing any of it. At one point, in passing, she commented that she didn't know if I had any problems of my own, but... so-and-so. I can't remember where that transition led; it's the transition itself that sticks out.

I tend to think of myself as a bit of a basket case. I'm depressed more often than not. In social situations I feel profoundly awkward and anxious; I often have such trouble finding my words that I grind to a halt. When I'm around people I know fairly well, and my tongue does loosen up, it sometimes feels like I have to bite it to keep from complaining. I feel like I constantly need to check myself; make sure I'm not stepping on anyone's toes, either figuratively or literally.

Yet apparently I come off as serene and confident. Just shows ya!

Ah, the curse of inferior Fe....
 

Verfremdungseffekt

videodrones; questions
Joined
Apr 23, 2009
Messages
866
MBTI Type
INTp
Enneagram
5w4
I'm really sorry to hear about your depression...
Oh, well, that's all right. It's just a fact. The point really was, there seems to be a certain aura of stability that lures out everyone else's troubles. "Well," people think, "clearly he's got his head on straight -- he'll know what to do, or at least hear me out."

Little do they imagine! Ho ho.

Well, we do our best.
 
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