[INTP] What are female INTPs like?

[A Schnitzel]

I suppose it might be pleasant if you're a masochist!

It seems like men perceive INTP women as man-eaters or something. I don't understand where that perception comes from.

 

[Fluffywolf]

It seems like men perceive INTP women as man-eaters or something. I don't understand where that perception comes from.

In general? Not at all. Just that smarter then me INTP women tend to have the tendency of crushing my ego with great ease, Unintentionally.

But nuuuh, I like INTP women in general, the few I think I know that are INTP.. I just have to try my hardest not to make anything a competition, or I could get burnt.

 

[digesthisickness]

In general? Not at all. Just that smarter then me INTP women tend to have the tendency of crushing my ego with great ease, Unintentionally.

But nuuuh, I like INTP women in general, the few I think I know that are INTP.. I just have to try my hardest not to make anything a competition, or I could get burnt.

i don't think it's fair to judge what experiencing INTP women would be like for others by using your ego as the barometer.

 

[Fluffywolf]

i don't think it's fair to judge what experiencing INTP women would be like for others by using your ego as the barometer.

Which is also why it was meant as a joke, which I thought was pretty clear. But clearly a very ineffective one as everyone is taking me seriously.

 

[Azseroffs]

They aren't. At least not all of them. A great many of them smell a bit, own several Monty Python t-shirts, and leave food in the sink -- just like their male counterparts.

That's not as much a of a deterrent as you might think

well.. besides the smelling one. but I don't smell.. I hope not..

 

[A Schnitzel]

Which is also why it was meant as a joke, which I thought was pretty clear. But clearly a very ineffective one as everyone is taking me seriously.

Yeah man, you might want to work on those jokes.
If Digest didn't pick up on it, it doesn't really qualify.

Also try not to to cry in front of those smart NT women, they don't respond very well to displays of weakness.

 

[norepinephrine]

Also try not to to cry in front of those smart NT women, they don't respond very well to displays of weakness.

Please, we understand "weakness." We understand that sometimes life is an unfair pain in the ass. It's the whole "appropriate response" part that tends to send me moving toward the door.

"Look! A butterfly! (Hasty exit)

 

[Venom]

She also very much reminds me of this girl who claims to be an INTP on youtube:

YouTube - INTP

if thats an INTP female, then i want one.... now
suprisingly enough, i havent really connected with INTPs on this board as well as some EXXXs ...i wonder if its the live action part of the video that makes them more appealing???

 

[Aleph-One]

INTP women are amazingly even-tempered and tolerant, and won't generate histrionic drama. Ever.


They also track mud all over your nice throw rugs. :steam:

 

[ThatGirl]

Ok if no one else has said it yet I want to


......ready..........





Like INTP men....with boobs!









I feel like edgar.

 

[Edgar]

I feel like edgar.

Handsome and seductive?

 

[ThinkingAboutIt]

So I've been dating this girl for a few months. She and I have history; we dated nearly a decade ago when we were in high school. We feel in love as completely and innocently as teenagers tend to do. I was her first love, but the intensity of the emotions she was feeling caused her to break things off with me and 'chicken out' as she put it.


Edit: this concerns a past relationship:

I would be thinking about why it ended, the worth of the relationship then and how that correlates now. Feelings are scary as they create a vulnerability that she probably feels she can't protect herself from. I don't know how to express feelings well - or know if or when I even should so I usually don't (or I try, end up blasting them, feel like an idiot, and then introvert so I don't do it again). Too, they never make sense when you analyze them - love doesn't make sense lol!

Everyone has to have that person who got away from them, right? Well, we were that for each other. No one else ever made us feel the same as we did when we were together. We kept in contact over the years, each nursing secret longings and regrets. We saw each other sporadically which only served to remind us of the chemistry that was still there.


That would not be me at all. I have a sea of emotion underneath the calm surface shown everyone (yeah, INTP's are not robots/emotionless!), but I also have steel control of myself. If I can't have 'it' then I usually just resolve that I didn't want 'it' to begin with - and if my heart longs for it but my mind is opposed, then I sit in denial or wait until I figure it out. If I made a final decision to not 'go there' or to 'get out of there', then I would have to rewire all of my thinking to reconsider - and that takes time...and is rare for me to do. If you crushed her, good luck getting her to trust you. She might be 'there' to try, but she will not be there completely

When I first got into MBTI she took an online test and came up as a ISFJ, but she never really seemed like the other ISFJs I had met. She said some of the things in the description made sense to her (especially the concept of being introverted), but it wasn't perfect. More recently she took a test in one of my personality types books and that put her as an INTP, however she doesn't really remind me of the other (male) INTPs I have met, either. I do think she's closer to INTP than ISFJ though.

It could depend on what was going on - if she just entered a relationship then her feeling/sensing preferences are also being engaged. My sensing is low, but I want it to back up my intuition in uncharted waters for a more complete analysis. INTP's are NT Conceptuals and tend not have a lot of relationships...

The big problem is she shows me very little intuition. She prefers to talk about all the things that happened throughout the day in great detail and does very little of what I would consider N speculation. I asked her about this and she stated cryptically 'what if I just don't share?' or something to that effect. When I pressed she wouldn't explain it any further. She is very willing to follow me into whatever crazy territory I want to go, but doesn't add as much as I'd expect. My speculation on this is she does it because she doesn't feel like she knows enough about the subject to comment.

I do this as well - but typically because the other person is not talking, silence seems inappropriate, and I am talking to a concrete communicator...did you start the conversation with her in that way? If so, she is just adapting to 'speak your language' on your terms.

I considered ISTP, but she has none of the stereotypical SP traits: sense of adventures, a love of working with the hands on concrete things. She enjoys quiet activities and much prefers a intimidate night at home talking for hours in the candle light to going out and partying. She has also said that she much prefers to come up with the solution and let other people take care of the implementation. When I asked her if she could consider being an architect she said 'sure, as long as I didn't have to build anything'.

Is she kinesthetic? Have her take the mypersonality test...
"When I asked her if she could consider being an architect she said 'sure, as long as I didn't have to build anything'." This is true for me as well in some ways - I am great at brainstorming ideas, creating the framework/structure for it, even the final plan but someone else should implement it because my interest ends there. I can build, but usually lose interest before I finish it...



I asked her how she felt about the basic motivation of a type 5: Want to be capable and competent, to master a body of knowledge and skill. She smiled sheepishly and said 'now we don't know anyone like that, do we?'

I am a 5 but not every bit of it fits me either, the 7 and 3 fits me in areas as well. These things are all relative, we are all unique individuals and nothing is going to fit us perfectly.

She also very much reminds me of this girl who claims to be an INTP on youtube:

YouTube - INTP

Not sure if she is a real INTP or not - she is slow in getting her thoughts to speech and the only time I do that is if I don't know what I am talking about or perhaps playing devils advocate in debate about a subject I don't know much about either way so I am in effect absorbing from both aspects. My mind tends to move at the speed of light; speech is well modulated; and I tend to present authoritatively while open to other perspectives

I think its mostly the facial expressions and the eyes that resonate with me the most. Also the way she moves her head and her speech pattern.

So tell me, am I dating an INTP? If so why does she act so S?

Likely. I would have her take the mypersonality test as well...may explain the 'likes working with her hands'

 

[ThinkingAboutIt]

It seems like men perceive INTP women as man-eaters or something. I don't understand where that perception comes from.

I do scare men. Smart, assertive, competent, attractive, and zero cling unless committed. The worst part is being competent in almost everything because men need to be needed. They just don't realize that we do have needs, but we don't discuss or reveal them until we are comfy which takes a while. Just know, if she says she is interested in you, she is, and it is highly likely because she thinks you are brilliant (ha ha! that is an absolute requirement), and you meet those needs even though you don't know what they are

 

[A Schnitzel]

I do scare men. Smart, assertive, competent, attractive, and zero cling unless committed. The worst part is being competent in almost everything because men need to be needed. They just don't realize that we do have needs, but we don't discuss or reveal them until we are comfy which takes a while. Just know, if she says she is interested in you, she is, and it is highly likely because she thinks you are brilliant (ha ha! that is an absolute requirement), and you meet those needs even though you don't know what they are

Are you hitting on me?

 

[Lasting_Pain]

Are you hitting on me?

To the topic creator, I do not think she is an INTP. If so she is a hybrid.

 

[Shinzon]

I would be thinking about why it ended, the worth of the relationship then and how that correlates now. Feelings are scary as they create a vulnerability that she probably feels she can't protect herself from. I don't know how to express feelings well - or know if or when I even should so I usually don't (or I try, end up blasting them, feel like an idiot, and then introvert so I don't do it again). Too, they never make sense when you analyze them - love doesn't make sense lol!

This sounds like her. She is very tentative about putting herself at risk emotionally. She seems to act like her emotions are a untidy part of herself and should be ignored.

That would not be me at all. I have a sea of emotion underneath the calm surface shown everyone (yeah, INTP's are not robots/emotionless!), but I also have steel control of myself. If I can't have 'it' then I usually just resolve that I didn't want 'it' to begin with - and if my heart longs for it but my mind is opposed, then I sit in denial or wait until I figure it out. If I made a final decision to not 'go there' or to 'get out of there', then I would have to rewire all of my thinking to reconsider - and that takes time...and is rare for me to do. If you crushed her, good luck getting her to trust you. She might be 'there' to try, but she will not be there completely

She crushed me, actually, which I think explains the regret. I think she felt like she made a mistake. She's never specifically came out and said any of these things, but she has talked around them and I can infer them from her actions. It also may well be that I'm projecting, assuming there's a NF like emotional basis for her actions when there really isn't.

We had then (and have now) a nearly perfect relationship. We never fought, never made each other angry, etc. One day she just decided (from my perspective at least) she didn't want to be in the relationship anymore. She later told me it was because all of the strong emotions I brought out of her scared her and she couldn't deal with them.

It could depend on what was going on - if she just entered a relationship then her feeling/sensing preferences are also being engaged. My sensing is low, but I want it to back up my intuition in uncharted waters for a more complete analysis. INTP's are NT Conceptuals and tend not have a lot of relationships...

She had just been dumped by her fiance at that point so it is very possible she was accessing her ESFJ shadow. She has had maybe a total of 3 relationships in her life not including our current relationship, one of which could be considered serious.

I do this as well - but typically because the other person is not talking, silence seems inappropriate, and I am talking to a concrete communicator...did you start the conversation with her in that way? If so, she is just adapting to 'speak your language' on your terms.

Actually, you may be onto something here. Since I thought she was an ISFJ and I had read that ISFJs love to relate all the things that happened throughout the day, I usually began the conversation in a S way, asking about her day and pressing her to tell me more when she responds 'not much interesting happened'. She very well might be responding by doing what she thinks I want. Once she gets going she's very descriptive of the event because she 'wants to create the picture' in my mind.

I get into a quiet mood sometimes and it seems that during those days she is most talkative; otherwise she's content to let me lead the conversation and respond where she can. Perhaps she is just reaching for things to talk to me about to fill the silence? Or perhaps she just really wanted to talk to me and didn't know what?

I am a 5 but not every bit of it fits me either, the 7 and 3 fits me in areas as well. These things are all relative, we are all unique individuals and nothing is going to fit us perfectly.

I think she was being sarcastic. She has a tendency to answer my probing questions indirectly, leaving me to infer what she meant. It seems like she's balancing a desire to be open with me (perhaps because I've told her openness is very important to me) and a desire to not feel exposed and vulnerable. I plan on having her read the type 5 section of my enneagram book this weekend.

Not sure if she is a real INTP or not - she is slow in getting her thoughts to speech and the only time I do that is if I don't know what I am talking about or perhaps playing devils advocate in debate about a subject I don't know much about either way so I am in effect absorbing from both aspects. My mind tends to move at the speed of light; speech is well modulated; and I tend to present authoritatively while open to other perspectives

Actually, I thought the girl in the youtube link was a little slow and spaced compared to my girlfriend too, which is why I said it was the facial expressions, pattern and eyes were the things that resonated with me the most. She defiantly speaks with great authority which is one of the reasons I was content with her being a J. However, her behavior doesn't match up with the typical SJ stereotype.

I'll have her take the personality test. Can you think of any other things I should watch for?

Thank you very much for responding, it was quite enlightening

 

[Grungemouse]

This sounds like her. She is very tentative about putting herself at risk emotionally. She seems to act like her emotions are a untidy part of herself and should be ignored.

I'd say this works for both INTP and ISFJ, but for different reasons. Personally, I almost have a fear of putting myself out there in case I get ridiculed for it. I'm guessing that ISFJs have a hard time concealing their emotions, as extraverting them comes naturally to them, but if harmony insists, then they'll hide them. I dunno.

She crushed me, actually, which I think explains the regret. I think she felt like she made a mistake.. She's never specifically came out and said any of these things, but she has talked around them and I can infer them from her actions. We had then (and have now) a nearly perfect relationship. We never fought, never made each other angry, etc. One day she just decided (from my perspective at least) she didn't want to be in the relationship anymore. She later told me it was because all of the strong emotions I brought out of her scared her and she couldn't deal with them.

If she was INTP, she probably evalutated the relationship ages before ending it. I'm guessing by her "just deciding", she had decided a while back and was simply putting it off. The last bit doesn't sound ISFJ-ish, though; my ISFJ encourages me to be more open about my feelings.

She had just been dumped by her fiance at that point so it is very possible she was accessing her ESFJ shadow. Coincidentally, her fiance left her because she was too guarded and she wouldn't open up to him. She has had maybe a total of 3 relationships in her life not including our current relationship, one of which could be considered serious.

She doesn't sound emotionally healthy, or she's dating the wrong kind of people.

Actually, you may be onto something here. Since I thought she was an ISFJ and I had read that ISFJs love to relate all the things that happened throughout the day, I usually began the conversation in a S way, asking about her day and pressing her to tell me more when she responds 'not much interesting happened'. She very well might be responding by doing what she thinks I want.

Haha, that sounds like my kind of response. It probably isn't so much as adapting, but a vague indifference about her day. I dislike the mundane beginning of every conversation, with the "Hi, how are you?" crap. That's probably her way of skipping it and wanting to move on to a more interesting topic. I agree with the adaptation to some extent, though. I like to listen and adapt to my subject's sense of humour, interests and the like.

I get into a quiet mood sometimes and it seems that during those days she is most talkative; otherwise she's content to let me lead the conversation and respond where she can. Perhaps she is just reaching for things to talk to me about to fill the silence? Or perhaps she just really wanted to talk to me and didn't know what?

Or perhaps, like a typical human being, her emotions fluctuate occasionally? Sometimes I'm in the mood to talk when I have something to say, if I don't, then I won't want to say anything. I don't like unnecessary small-talk, personally.

I think she was being sarcastic. She has a tendency to answer my probing questions indirectly, leaving me to infer what she meant. It seems like she's balancing a desire to be open with me (perhaps because I've told her openness is very important to me) and a desire to not feel exposed and vulnerable. I plan on having her read the type 5 section of my enneagram book this weekend.

It's called sizing the prize up, mate. The only way you can assess whether a potential partner is your intellectual equal is by releasing a verbal smog of ambiguity and seeing if they're smart enough to find their way through it; make them think. Trust me, I do that all the time. INTP's love the verbal sparring with their partner.

Actually, I thought the girl in the youtube link was a little slow and spaced compared to my girlfriend too, which is why I said it was the facial expressions, pattern and eyes were the things that resonated with me the most. She defiantly speaks with great authority which is one of the reasons I was content with her being a J. However, her behavior doesn't match up with the typical SJ stereotype.

I took a MBTI physiognomy (is that the word) test, which estimates your type by your facial characteristics. I came out as an ISTJ. I'm not sure what you mean by authoritative tone, but I've often been accused of speaking in a brusque manner. Besides, the youtube example isn't the archetypal INTP. But then, my speech pattern has a series of pauses in it, but fluctuates suddenly with a fast pace in some bits. My speech pattern is fairly erratic.

 

[ThinkingAboutIt]

This sounds like her. She is very tentative about putting herself at risk emotionally. She seems to act like her emotions are a untidy part of herself and should be ignored.

I see them that way too to a degree...in the everyday, I am not emotional, but when it comes to love, this INTP would not be ignoring them, I would have, feel, and be analyzing them, but not extroverting them well or would be afraid to because of the intensity of them...that equates to admitting needing him and would give him control over me (owning/mastering me - that means he influences my thinking, I lose my independence and freedom, which is basically giving him the essense of who I am - that takes time, maturity, trust, loyalty, serious commitment, and a fierce/abiding love

She crushed me, actually, which I think explains the regret. I think she felt like she made a mistake. She's never specifically came out and said any of these things, but she has talked around them and I can infer them from her actions. It also may well be that I'm projecting, assuming there's a NF like emotional basis for her actions when there really isn't.

Humm...talking around things is not NT at all and I am straightforward. But, avoiding conflict when it isn't a 'pick your battle area' is INTP...I am very even tempered and easy to get along with...

We had then (and have now) a nearly perfect relationship. We never fought, never made each other angry, etc. One day she just decided (from my perspective at least) she didn't want to be in the relationship anymore. She later told me it was because all of the strong emotions I brought out of her scared her and she couldn't deal with them.

I think INTPs are pleasers at heart and will mold to someone else in many ways, but I can't see a relationship where there is never a debate or disagreement simply based on our innate need for learning, growing, and knowledge...not to mention the curiosity to see what happens when we push 'that button' too ha ha!

She had just been dumped by her fiance at that point so it is very possible she was accessing her ESFJ shadow. Coincidentally, her fiance left her because she was too guarded and she wouldn't open up to him. She has had maybe a total of 3 relationships in her life not including our current relationship, one of which could be considered serious.

It may also be worth pointing out that while her life is alright now, she had a very tough childhood and probably spent a lot of time in her shadow during key developmental years.

Actually, you may be onto something here. Since I thought she was an ISFJ and I had read that ISFJs love to relate all the things that happened throughout the day, I usually began the conversation in a S way, asking about her day and pressing her to tell me more when she responds 'not much interesting happened'. She very well might be responding by doing what she thinks I want. Once she gets going she's very descriptive of the event because she 'wants to create the picture' in my mind.

I get into a quiet mood sometimes and it seems that during those days she is most talkative; otherwise she's content to let me lead the conversation and respond where she can. Perhaps she is just reaching for things to talk to me about to fill the silence? Or perhaps she just really wanted to talk to me and didn't know what?

At this point, I don't think she is INTP. Sounds like she is trying to be what you want and that isn't INTP either. While I will mold myself and adjust or defer to someone I love, I won't change who I am to what they need...I would back out of a relationship if that was the case because it would not be me...it would be fake and require a facade (both of which I hate), and it would tax me emotionally as it would be a daily, conscious requirement.

I think she was being sarcastic. She has a tendency to answer my probing questions indirectly, leaving me to infer what she meant. It seems like she's balancing a desire to be open with me (perhaps because I've told her openness is very important to me) and a desire to not feel exposed and vulnerable. I plan on having her read the type 5 section of my enneagram book this weekend.

Indirect is not NT/INTP at all...

Actually, I thought the girl in the youtube link was a little slow and spaced compared to my girlfriend too, which is why I said it was the facial expressions, pattern and eyes were the things that resonated with me the most. She defiantly speaks with great authority which is one of the reasons I was content with her being a J. However, her behavior doesn't match up with the typical SJ stereotype.

I am not SJ or J at all, INTP all the way, but I have had to adjust over the years to be stronger. I've learned not to ask for permission, I simply do it and dare somebody to tell me different. Makes life much easier

I'll have her take the personality test. Can you think of any other things I should watch for?

I would read this article: Conceptualists

This is interesting: NT Conceptualist to NT Conceptualist
Two Conceptualists married to each other do not have the problem of dealing with mixing Concrete communication with Abstract communication. Two Conceptualists are likely to be fascinated by each other's research and discoveries, by their tools and technologies, and when they find the time to come together they have intense discussions, logical, esoteric, critical, and competitive. This competition can get rough at times-NTs will go for the jugular in the heat of the argument-but the main trouble in NT-NT relationships is just the opposite: that each tends to stay absorbed in his own or her own cognitive world, each forgetting to notice the other, and thus doubling the distance to be overcome in the relationship. Conceptualists married to other Conceptualists need to learn how to get away from their work and meet each other on a personal level.

Thank you very much for responding, it was quite enlightening

You are welcome I enjoyed the conversation!

 

[entropie]

whoa what a load of text... <--- this sentence has a completly different meaning in porn industry !

 

[sunset5678]

That's where I got stuck too...the N/S, I thought maybe I was ESTJ because I talk in
detail about things that happen during the day a lot and connect easily when speaking
to and getting to know new people and have a sense of what needs done around the
place like things that can be taken care of so the main project or point is easier to be
focused on (how I figured out the J) but I can totally be in the present moment and
interactive with everything going on around me, but be day dreaming in the back of my
mind about a variety of topics and sometimes I have a sixth sense about things like my
esfp friend and I were supposed to get together, but she never called and I had this
feeling not to bother getting my stuff together and it was going on 9 and she hadn't
called back and I knew that wasn't like her to leave people hanging when she's made
plans or drop one friend because she's been hanging out with someone else and she's
usually pretty good about that stuff and not selfish that way then she called a little later
and said someone she knew had an emergency situation. I've just learned to trust my
instincts about people and situations instead of rushing around. Last week I found out
there was an important message I missed on the machine and the day went pretty good
but I had this feeling in the pit of my stomach and it was one about a potential opportu-
nity, but the opportunity turned out to be the cloud instead of the silver lining so I had
to forgo it. maybe your friend is an istp? i just thought of that one being the closest thi-
ng to intp I could think of thats the same but a little different.