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[INTJ] Way to an INTJ's heart?

sculpting

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Joined
Jan 28, 2009
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4,148
Stares. I guess there's three: Se, Te and Ni.

Ni's the one that looks like the answering machine's screening most of what you say.
Te's when I know you're there and I'm supposed to say something about it.
Se's when everything's engaged. (Although it can feel a bit like only Se's working.)

People look different to me when a proper Se focus kicks in. I tend to start seeing beauty.



And may the good Lord preserve us from there being an Fi stare.


I checked. It's. so. CUTE!!!! :)

They smile, but they can't just fake smile with thier mouth like most people can do. Instead they smile with thier eyes and mouth at the same time. All the little eye muscles wrinkle up and thier cheeks get involved. Then-this was really neat, and unexpected-they break eye contact and look away or look down a little. Then they sort of drop between a smile and not smile and eye contact and not eye contact for a few seconds, before getting back home to familiar territory with the more direct stare. N=3 though so just my two cents. Two older married boys and a girl. :heart:
 

Kalach

Filthy Apes!
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Dec 3, 2008
Messages
4,310
MBTI Type
INTJ
Good Lord, woman! People know this stuff now!:doh:

Fragile little tertiary Fi glances? And you don't know what this leads to?


If they don't quit, they may have to be fired.
 

SillySapienne

`~~Philosoflying~~`
Joined
Jan 14, 2008
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9,801
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4w5
Oh god, I live for Fi glimpses, and die for Fi stares.

It's like peek-a-woo-hoo!!!

:D
 

sculpting

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Good Lord, woman! People know this stuff now!:doh:

Fragile little tertiary Fi glances? And you don't know what this leads to?


If they don't quit, they may have to be fired.

Shame, Shame, these are my sweet buddies! No free INTJs down in these parts, they are happily attached and well loved!

Fi glances are sooooo sweet!
 

Kalach

Filthy Apes!
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INTJ
Shame, Shame, these are my sweet buddies! No free INTJs down in these parts, they are happily attached and well loved!

Fi glances are sooooo sweet!

Shame on say who now? No, affairs are hardly the worry. The question is whether or not it's good to have the INTJs work out what's going on.

If they do, you've got yourself some bitter-sweet friendships, although the married guys are probably more balanced so it'll be nice enough.

But if they don't work out what's going, and they stew too long over what's this whole warm, then awkward, then bereft, then embarrassed thing they have inside themselves now, and then they work it out... (And while they're busy working it out, all the ENTP lab nerds are watching and taking notes for later fun and games...)


At best, they'll be generalizing and universalizing their feeling. Any dissatisfaction with work will get roped in to the unwholesome clankings in their basements. And then they update their resumes. Or turn Terminator.

Yes, warm fuzzies in an INTJ... does it rain a lot where you are? Have you been finding too many frogs on the ground? The sky may be falling.
 

sculpting

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Shame on say who now? No, affairs are hardly the worry. The question is whether or not it's good to have the INTJs work out what's going on.

If they do, you've got yourself some bitter-sweet friendships, although the married guys are probably more balanced so it'll be nice enough.

But if they don't work out what's going, and they stew too long over what's this whole warm, then awkward, then bereft, then embarrassed thing they have inside themselves now, and then they work it out... (And while they're busy working it out, all the ENTP lab nerds are watching and taking notes for later fun and games...)


At best, they'll be generalizing and universalizing their feeling. Any dissatisfaction with work will get roped in to the unwholesome clankings in their basements. And then they update their resumes. Or turn Terminator.

Yes, warm fuzzies in an INTJ... does it rain a lot where you are? Have you been finding too many frogs on the ground? The sky may be falling.

It sounds like you think I may be "playing" with my INTJs a little, maybe thinking there is some sexual aspect? :) These guys are actually some of my favorite people, as friends. Yes perhaps I peeked up on thier eye movements today but overall I have had this same cuddlesome relationships with these three folks for four years, three years and two years respectively. It's a very stable long term friendship/relationship for lack of a better word. I like to understand them, and well everybody I guess, but I would still care deeply for these folks.

It's odd as people mostly dislike them. That guy who talks a lot, the know-it-all, and the ice cold bitch are descriptions that I have overheard from others. They do not share emotions with others freely but they seem to have no problem expressing this with me, even if other folks are present. I am not sure they know how not to ??? or maybe they dont' recognize what they are doing?

Would they care if they understood that others could see thier emotional honesty? Maybe the girl would.
 

Hao

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Apr 11, 2009
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5
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INTJ
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1w9
I thought I'll chip in with my two cents about seducing romancing an INTJ, which should apply to most INTJs regardless of gender.

Step 1: Study your INTJ carefully; your INTJ will have several interests. Pick a few and learn about them, enough that you can converse about them casually. True expertise is not required at all, as your INTJ will enjoy elucidating you, and you can capitalize on that weakness of ours to make us enjoy your company.

Step 2: Your INTJ may hold a set of social and moral values. I cannot stress how important it is to learn of these as soon as possible. When your values come into conflict with values we hold dear, we will immediately decide that you are not compatible with us. Other people may try to turn a blind eye, but not us. It doesn't even matter what we feel about you, we don't do feelings. Well, at least not yet.

Step 3: Take some time to learn about the most common flaws in logic and how to identify them. Nothing impresses and attracts an INTJ like being able to correctly identify flaws in logic. More interestingly, as INTJs, we often take shortcuts in logic when attempting to sway an audience, being poor communicators of internal logic and more interested in the result than the process of debate per se. Making your INTJ expand his/her arguments will definitely earn you some respect. And once you've earned our respect, you're already half-way there.

Step 4: You have now rendered yourself acceptable, being able to fit into your INTJ's long-term plans of how the world should work. With a little effort, you can make it so that to him or her, long-term planning must include you to be acceptable. At this point, your INTJ will be in love with you, but it may take some time before he/she realizes it.

Step 5: Flirting is something we cannot easily identify. Many people have become frustrated when flirting with INTJs, but this is easily overcome. Instead of flirting with us, just tell us as clinically and casually as possible, that you find yourself attracted and would like to try dating. Don't tell us that you would like to "take things to another level", we might think that what you mean is that we should proceed from becoming 'good friends' to 'best friends', or from 'best friends' to 'bestest friends'. Or from...well, you get the idea.

Step 6: An INTJ's basic form of communication is the logical argument. Engage them in it, expounding on the argument yourself if you agree with it, or attempt counter-argumentation if you disagree. Remember though, that the strength of your conviction does not correspond with the strength of your argument.

Step 7: INTJs are generally not physical people, and must be acclimated to touching. Start small, with hello or goodbye hugs and expand from there. An INTJ will, but rarely initiate physical contact. If you're a physical person, it may take quite awhile before getting your INTJ to act accordingly.

Again, I must stress that this isn't a fool-proof plan of getting INTJs, but it should work well. Good luck in getting that elusive INTJ!
 

Kalach

Filthy Apes!
Joined
Dec 3, 2008
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INTJ
It sounds like you think I may be "playing" with my INTJs a little, maybe thinking there is some sexual aspect? :)

Naw. Just pointing out / playing with / dead seriously letting everyone know tertiary functions are a l'il bit immature in anyone, and if that tertiary happens to be Fi, then some of those immaturities grow up to be values... stubborn, defensive, motivating values. You can count on an INTJ's Fi to be a kind of Achilles, either the tragic Trojan hero or a tearing tendon. That is, Fi can be the way to disable them, or once they decide they know what's happening, if that doesn't disable them too, then it's the thing that sets them to knowing what to do next. And back them into a corner and it's the thing that sets them to standing their ground.

The miserable thing about tertiary Fi is it tells you where the tragedy is, blows it a little out of proportion, and then leaves you to think about it.
 

Kalach

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Dec 3, 2008
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Well, it's introverted, and apparently includes glances downward, so...

miroir05rz2.jpg


Do my nuts look big in this? I'm so afraid.
 

Misty_Mountain_Rose

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Jul 21, 2008
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Step 3: Take some time to learn about the most common flaws in logic and how to identify them. Nothing impresses and attracts an INTJ like being able to correctly identify flaws in logic. More interestingly, as INTJs, we often take shortcuts in logic when attempting to sway an audience, being poor communicators of internal logic and more interested in the result than the process of debate per se. Making your INTJ expand his/her arguments will definitely earn you some respect. And once you've earned our respect, you're already half-way there.

:yes:

I could never have a good relationship (friend, co-worker or otherwise) with someone I do not respect.
 

sculpting

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Naw. Just pointing out / playing with / dead seriously letting everyone know tertiary functions are a l'il bit immature in anyone, and if that tertiary happens to be Fi, then some of those immaturities grow up to be values... stubborn, defensive, motivating values. You can count on an INTJ's Fi to be a kind of Achilles, either the tragic Trojan hero or a tearing tendon. That is, Fi can be the way to disable them, or once they decide they know what's happening, if that doesn't disable them too, then it's the thing that sets them to knowing what to do next. And back them into a corner and it's the thing that sets them to standing their ground.

The miserable thing about tertiary Fi is it tells you where the tragedy is, blows it a little out of proportion, and then leaves you to think about it.


I totally see this. It sort of reflects differently in the different INTJs. One uses the tertiary Fi as a religious idealism and is very devoted to his faith, the other two it sort of comes out in the way they talk about family. There is one that also is VERY adament about whatever enzyme assay he developed 20 years ago, yet he says it in an idealistic way. It's the "**best**" way to do something. Like Fi is sneaking out to support the Ni-Te derived conclusion.

I had a meeting with a bunch o' ISTJs today. They also have lots of fun with me and I make them all giggle. They ALSO have tertiary Fi!!!! I have a pattern, yippie!!

Also, if that is your picture, I need you to stop by later this evening as I have some, um, stuff that needs looking at with special tertiary Fi. boxes to move, furniture to rearrange, you know....
 
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