[NT] NT's emotional expression

[tinkerbell]

Hi

I've just been reading through Happy Puppy's thread on ENTPs and emotions.

NT's are less likely to make decisions through emotions. I know several who also have issues expressing their emotions with one exception - they do anger....

Anger typically has 3 roots:

• Axiety
• Fear
• Hurt

Does this resonate with other NT's - that anger is expressed instead of the emotional core? Is this because you seek emotional expression as week or undermining your image?

Interested in your thoughts...

Lis

 

[Lasting_Pain]

Hi

I've just been reading through Happy Puppy's thread on ENTPs and emotions.

NT's are less likely to make decisions through emotions. I know several who also have issues expressing their emotions with one exception - they do anger....

Anger typically has 3 roots:

• Axiety
• Fear
• Hurt

Does this resonate with other NT's - that anger is expressed instead of the emotional core? Is this because you seek emotional expression as week or undermining your image?

Interested in your thoughts...

Lis

I thought anger stems from being mad, and Fear and Hurt steams from being scared

 

[tinkerbell]

No, anger is a manefestation of the other things - the mask that hides the true emotion.

Think of the last time you got angey - what caused it - often it's cause by something that is a threat....

L

 

[Lasting_Pain]

No, anger is a manefestation of the other things - the mask that hides the true emotion.

Think of the last time you got angey - what caused it - often it's cause by something that is a threat....

L

my anger is caused by, irritation and annoyance. I would never get angry at someone because I was hurt or scared

Also do you mean anxiety? If so, I would never get angry because I was anxious.

 

[tinkerbell]

so what exactly constitues irrational or annoyance?

I've been reading Goldeman - and I so agree that anger is a manefections of the things above, it take a bit to unpick the anger but usually it's one of the three..

L

 

[nanook]

anxiety is often paranoia which is projected anger, so if it would transmute into the original anger it could be healed and clarity would remain. so naturally anxiety does not turn into anger, because the "natural" direction is disintegration, which is the opposite direction. however paranoid anxiety is like fear of fear, where the latter is identical to anger. that is to say, that anger is also like the different side of the coin of original anxiety. but this is ambiguous nature is only visible, if anger(=original anxiety) is already visible.

 

[tinkerbell]

anxiety can be expressed as anxiet of anger - if someone is hitting you buttons it makes you anxious - which is then often expressed as anger directly.

L

 

[Lasting_Pain]

anxiety can be expressed as anxiet of anger - if someone is hitting you buttons it makes you anxious - which is then often expressed as anger directly.

L

I thought if someone was hitting my buttons it would be considered annoying or irritating

 

[nanook]

if someone threatens me, anxiety (and anger) are the natural reaction, unless if i were cool, which might be what Lasting Pain is referring to.
being cool means, that the brain does not create the associations, that connect with implications.
this way the thread does not become my "reality".


if someone pushes buttons, the anger is a projection .... its complicated.
if you repress a quality, this constitutes a button.
if someone claims, that you do not repress it hard enough ("I can still see it, you are an egotist") your immediate response is, to repress yourself even harder to keep the secret from yourself. this repression is threatening you. it might feel like someone is pulling your plug, sucking the electrolytes from you brain. you will drop unconscious. or you deflect the attention and make believe, that the accusation was wrong. this requires anger. this anger is usually available, except, when the questionable attribute is anger itself. if it is programmed, that you must not be angry and expansive and someone pushes the "you are being so angry and expansive" button, you can not display any expansive energy in defense. you will either become "depressive" or just drop dead, depending on how sensitive you are to your shadow.

 

[Lasting_Pain]

if someone threatens me, anxiety is the natural reaction, unless if i were cool, which might be what Lasting Pain is referring to.
being cool means, that the brain does not create the associations, that connect with implications.
this way the thread does not become my "reality".


if someone pushes buttons, the anger is a projection .... its complicated.
if you repress a quality, this constitutes a button.
if someone claims, that you do not repress it hard enough ("I can still see it, you are an egotist") your immediate response is, to repress yourself even harder to keep the secret from yourself. this repression is threatening you. it might feel like someone is pulling your plug, sucking the electrolytes from you brain. you will drop unconscious. or you deflect the attention and make believe, that the accusation was wrong. this requires anger. this anger is usually available, except, when the questionable attribute is anger itself. if it is programmed, that you must not be angry and expansive and someone pushes the "you are being so angry and expansive" button, you can not display any expansive energy in defense. you will either become "depressive" or just drop dead, depending on how sensitive you are to your shadow.

Lasting Pain is the King of cool

 

[tinkerbell]

guys I'm talking about NT's expressions of emotions. The anger theory is part of the book Emotional Intellegence by Goldman, personally I rate that anger is very rarely about anger. Rage is different though....

 

[sonata]

I don't do anger, much. Slight irritation is common, and I will rant/vent to people about other situations. I can't remember the last time I yelled at someone.

Usually when I think I'm going to get angry I first think "Is this really important in the long run?" and "How can I fix this without a confrontation?"

My more common emotions are sadness/hopelessness and on the other end, happiness... I'll express it when I'm happy, but you would absolutely never know when I'm depressed.

I think I'm sort of the exception among NTs in my avoidance of confrontation.

 

[nanook]

well, i might not be T but my secondary Fe is not exactly pro active, let alone my retarded Fi. so yes, anger fear and hurt are the three big ones, for me too.

but i don't get your stacking. it might be my Fe that represses anger, so what i "DO" is actually "fear" and "hurt", to avoid anger. a lot of NT types seem to have this fake will power thing going on, which is basically anger. "i know what i want, except i don't, but i wont admit it"

a socionics site writes that NiTeSiFe types have two basic character styles (constant attitudes) to deal with their Fe. either they claim to have no emotions which translates into being in-vulnerable, invincible, which is relative communication, thus a Fe-value-based "lie". or they live like "i will proof that i do have emotions", which is again a Fe-value based ... uhm yearning ... "hinwendung"

 

[nanook]

also, among NT there is the enneagram one, which features the most peculiar method of avoiding anger. but i shall not rant.

 

[tinkerbell]

hey nook,

you seem comfortable expressing emtions, I'm not convinced T types are....

My ex-boss says he rarely cries - except with TV/media (emotional equivelent of porn I suspect ), but is often angry when he feels threatened etc.

I know as part of grieving I did anger instead of digging around in deep hurt...

Just interested in seeing if this observation is fully NT or just the odd few...

Lis

 

[Zoom]

I do restrict my anger, because of the fact that I need to make sure I'm okay with becoming so and/or showing it. I am not easily angered at all, and when it occurrs the feeling is akin to heat expanding in my chest, with a want to lash out. I avoid hurting others, and that tenant needs to be enforced, even when I feel about to implode.

Also, it's a complex (but barely seconds long in my head) process - someone does something horrible, I become angry. If I am in front of them, I think first. Am I justified in feeling angry or betrayed right now? Is it worth it to express my hurt/anger/whatnot to this person? Will they listen to me, and realise the gravity of the situation?

Other emotions - well, it depends on who I am in front of. If I trust the person (rare), I am much more willing to show true emotion in front of them. I experience intense emotions - in private.

Not the best wording, but I haven't had caffeine today.

 

[BlahBlahNounBlah]

I'm rarely sad or angry, and when I am it passes quickly.


My most frequent emotions might be amusement and frustration. I also feel excited when something interesting is happening.


My typical emotional range:
1. Neutral but curious
2. Amused
3. Frustrated
4. Excited

 

[Lasting_Pain]

I'm rarely sad or angry, and when I am it passes quickly.


My most frequent emotions might be amusement and frustration. I also feel excited when something interesting is happening.


My typical emotional range:
1. Neutral but curious
2. Amused
3. Frustrated
4. Excited

I shall second this!!!

 

[Kasper]

I'm rarely sad or angry, and when I am it passes quickly.


My most frequent emotions might be amusement and frustration. I also feel excited when something interesting is happening.


My typical emotional range:
1. Neutral but curious
2. Amused
3. Frustrated
4. Excited

Same. I don't get angry, just frustrated and it goes away as quickly as it comes.

Anxiety, fear and hurt are their own emotions and do not cause anger for me. When I'm anxious I feel anxious, when fearful I feel fear and when hurt I withdraw and try to understand it.

 

[Ardea]

I'm rarely sad or angry, and when I am it passes quickly.


My most frequent emotions might be amusement and frustration. I also feel excited when something interesting is happening.


My typical emotional range:
1. Neutral but curious
2. Amused
3. Frustrated
4. Excited

WHOA! RIGHT ON THE MONEY!!!!!!

Except frustrated should be frustrated/confused.