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[INTP] is there a such thing as an intp that gets around?

Ulaes

loopy
Joined
Jan 11, 2009
Messages
850
MBTI Type
crak
Enneagram
sax
is it even possible (with 1 in 100000000 chance and lower being concidered impossible)?.

intps have got to be the least social of all types, how do they ever get married?

my introversion is a mote around me and ive never experienced proper emotional intimacy, especially romantically. but im not sure if i want to either. i knew one other intp, a male, and i think i was the first and perhaps only girl to pursue him. there was nothing wrong with him at all but he was invsisible to everyone else.
dont say an attractive intp could get around on looks alone because ive been prusued by more guys than being an intp would usually allow but i have never had a proper relationship. an E(N?)FJ asked me out a while ago and i panicked and turned him down ... sorry... funny because i was actually very physically attracted to him.

sorry are more accurate and serious title for this thread would be how do intps manage to date but the one i used is more funner-a.
 
Last edited:

SurlyAdam

New member
Joined
Oct 22, 2008
Messages
110
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
5w4
No, I don't see INTPs getting around.

I think INTPs more than any other type are quite content to live amongst their books and within their own minds. To be with someone requires a certain amount of drive and desire on your part and if you don't want it, it's not going to happen. I'm sure that when you're ready you'll find the motivation, but finding someone who fits may prove problematic. You'll need to meet someone who's patient and confident enough in themselves to allow you the time you need alone, which for and INTP is a LOT. I think your need for time alone causes a lot of confusion for most. And this doesn't even take info consideration what you'll need from them.

I too have to wonder how they ever get close enough to marry. I had an INTP girlfriend and it took months and months to get close to her (7 months of courting!). Looking back, I can't believe I had so much patience. I also require more time alone than anyone I've ever known, anyone except for her.

I say just do your own thing and don't worry about it. It'll happen when you're ready and when someone more interesting than your books comes into your life.
 

CzeCze

RETIRED
Joined
Sep 11, 2007
Messages
8,975
MBTI Type
GONE
INTPs who are confident can get around. I have an INTP female friend who is really attractive and while she exhibits typical cold shoulder or disinterest tactics in shooting people down, she also pursues people that she is interested in. She is pretty successful pursuing the women she's interested in and she has LTRs as well as casual interactions. She gets around for sure.

I know another INTP female who is also attractive enough to get interest thrown her way but she is deeply cynical and critical of other people, herself, "love" - classic INTP hater! LOL. Plus she's spacey. She doesn't date because she exhibits a classic negative INTP trait - she is lost inside her head and this case, her own deep dissatisfaction with life. How does she end up dating? Completely randomly and not very wisely. She gets crushed out on girls very easily and it takes her a long long time to get over things she should have let go along time ago. She also sadly overall exhibits some stereotypical INTP behavior of not having a lot of game...like...very little.

I know another INTP female who is considered very cute and she definitely got around - I know a lot of folks who have dated her. She was/is very formal from the stories that I've heard. She's pretty assertive in a very quiet way as she approaches women she finds attractive and wants to date and asks them out. Pretty quickly. Her issues came from the fall out when she pursued too strong or the women she dated (1x or 2x or longer) did not want to continue dating her. She's burned a lot of bridges almost single-handedly and seems to ignore or dislike women who've stopped dating her -- this is mostly from what I've heard but also what I've seen. So she definitely gets around, just not necessarily with glowing results.
 

ajblaise

Minister of Propagandhi
Joined
Aug 3, 2008
Messages
7,914
MBTI Type
INTP
INTP + good looks + some confidence + not schizoid = They've got a shot.
 

Darjur

New member
Joined
Oct 26, 2008
Messages
493
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5
There are several types of INTPs.

If we're talking about the male geek who hasn't seen his dick since the 90's and has the hygiene of a reptile. Then no.

If were talking about the local poetic cynic, then yes.
 

Amargith

Hotel California
Joined
Nov 5, 2008
Messages
14,717
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4dw
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I know an INXP that's married to an ISFJ. They have their problems in the communication department but they make a great couple. He exhibits all the typical characteristics, but has the benefit of being able to be 'warm' to people (he has a pretty high EQ when he sees a use for it). However, he doesn't care about people outside of his little circle at all, would rather be left alone, is incredibly smart and has that sarcastic/cynical thing about life down, and when he's stuck in his own head he borders on symptoms of a bipolar person (he considers life pointless as it is finite and we're just along for the ride, and all that we do is pretty much useless in the end). He's had a couple of long term relationships and has been married for 8 years. His wife is pretty much his reason for living, actually.
 

Cypocalypse

New member
Joined
Jan 26, 2008
Messages
252
MBTI Type
eNtP
Enneagram
4w5/
Basic sociability guide for INTPs.

-Have the drive to know people knowing that you can't live alone especially that the INTP archetype isn't the one that's suited to a lot of future endeavors, especially careers.

-Use Ne/Ti to 'read' people. It has a good reliability.

-Go out, just for the heck of trial and error, or basically the sheer experience of it. Your money for your action figure collection is better suited sometimes for a date.

- Granting that you're able to socially go out in a considerable degree, without exhibiting too much Ti in a social situation, you actually have good chances of attracting INFPs, ENFPs, INFJs, and ESFPs. Chances get considerably higher by a strong Fi (borderlining INXP).

- Get a wingman if you're not that assertive enough. This is where casual friends come in handy.

- Allow your Ne/Ti to pursue a knowledge base that's more mainstream. It will give you a more sensor-like impression. Also makes it easier to connect to the sensor majority.

- Flirt with Ne. It's the smarter flirtatious function, if you just haven't realized that yet.

- Make sure that your inner quirk is apparent, if it's not realistically embarassing. Makes you cuter.
 

Jasz

Member
Joined
Apr 25, 2007
Messages
276
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
there is. i think it only has to do with your level of introversion. if extreme, it's tough out there, if not, there are plenty of opportunties to stretch the NT muscle in social settings that allow for that.
 

Lady_X

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2008
Messages
18,235
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
784
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Basic sociability guide for INTPs.

-Have the drive to know people knowing that you can't live alone especially that the INTP archetype isn't the one that's suited to a lot of future endeavors, especially careers.

-Use Ne/Ti to 'read' people. It has a good reliability.

-Go out, just for the heck of trial and error, or basically the sheer experience of it. Your money for your action figure collection is better suited sometimes for a date.

- Granting that you're able to socially go out in a considerable degree, without exhibiting too much Ti in a social situation, you actually have good chances of attracting INFPs, ENFPs, INFJs, and ESFPs. Chances get considerably higher by a strong Fi (borderlining INXP).

- Get a wingman if you're not that assertive enough. This is where casual friends come in handy.

- Allow your Ne/Ti to pursue a knowledge base that's more mainstream. It will give you a more sensor-like impression. Also makes it easier to connect to the sensor majority.

- Flirt with Ne. It's the smarter flirtatious function, if you just haven't realized that yet.

- Make sure that your inner quirk is apparent, if it's not realistically embarassing. Makes you cuter.

damn...
 

kiddykat

movin melodies
Joined
Jul 27, 2008
Messages
1,111
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4, 7
Edge, I have a male INTP friend who I get this feeling gets around. I mean, he's introverted, still has great social skills, funny as hell, intelligent. He's pretty charming. The fact that he's comfortable underneath his own skin, I think makes him kinda pimp. Girls dig that.

I also have another male INTP friend, who doesn't really go out much. He's not as confident, from what I see, when it comes to talking to people of the opposite sex. That doesn't mean ladies don't like him or won't. He gets what he gives. People pick up on that, yes?
 

Cypocalypse

New member
Joined
Jan 26, 2008
Messages
252
MBTI Type
eNtP
Enneagram
4w5/
This is a good example of a pseudo INTP-ENFP flirting. I still consider this to be among the best subtle interactions I had.

This just happened a few months ago.

Me: The girl in that soap opera is very charming. There's something to her charm that I couldn't explain. Well, anyway, I'll just illustrate a scene that I really liked. In one episode, she and the lead male character (suffering from an amnesia during that time), stayed in a room, and slept overnight. The next scene shows the guy waking up, and the girl was already awake, staring at him, chuckling.

The girl said, "You know what, you're different from some other guys. Have you been some other European guy that I know, something would have happened."

Then she continued chuckling.

Then the guy said, "Of course, nothing will happen. I'm a man of principles". He was saying that in an uncomfly way. And the girl just kept on chuckling.

Well, basically, it's kinda hard to illustrate things this way. You just have to see it. The essence of the scene was, the girl was basically telling the man, "You can get close to me if you like, but then, thank you for respecting my dignity."

I don't think I can explain it further, but I'm telling you, that scene was brilliant.

ENFP Girl: Hmmmm....sounds like a certain girl that you know. :)

Me: Uhmm...errr...yeah. :) *embarassed*

____________________

Notes about this interaction:

--The ENFP girl's statement was an indirect reference to her. A more assertive statement would be something like, "The girl sounds like me, don't you think.", but then, the ENFP girl made the statement more figurative, even if she knows I'll get the meaning of it. It's a confident statement, but not arrogant.

--At that time, when I was describing the soap opera female character, I wasn't aware that she has apparent parallels with the ENFP girl I was interacting with. She was just able to draw them right away though, which made the whole interacting more profound.

-- This is a good exaple of what I stated earlier about an INTP having interest in a knowledge base that's more mainstream (which connects an INTP to people better). Here, what we're talking about is a mainstream soap opera, and it's evident that my Ne/Ti is in the works, in trying to describe the aesthetics of the scene, and the character of the woman. My Ne/Ti is still in the works, but the subject was not pretentiously intellectual in nature. The chat was smart, but still grounded.

-- At the same time, the topic that was chosen was good because even if it's the Ne/Ti that does the work, it's an indirect statement of what the INTP guy wants in a woman, showing a shadowy emotional side that's not typically shown by an INTP--a pseudo Fi.

-- The scene was from an old soap opera that I liked when I was a kid (I particularly liked the female character I was describing). It was shown more than five years ago, and at that time, I have no grasp yet of MBTI. I contemplated a bit and I realized that the girl in that TV series I'm describing is indeed an ENFP, which somehow, without me immediately realizing, flattered the ENFP friend that I'm talking to.
 

Willfrey

New member
Joined
Nov 9, 2008
Messages
615
MBTI Type
IsTP
Even if an INTP did get around, do you think he/she would kiss and tell?
 

ThatsWhatHeSaid

Well-known member
Joined
May 11, 2007
Messages
7,263
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
I didn't get around until I transformed into an E. Then it was mega whore-time.

[YOUTUBE="ZHQNPRzu_Cg"]This is the sound I made[/YOUTUBE]
 

Didums

New member
Joined
Jun 20, 2008
Messages
680
is it even possible (with 1 in 100000000 chance and lower being concidered impossible)?.

Depends on what you mean by "gets around". INTPs, imo, are more interested in pursuing lasting romantic relationships (or waiting for one to come to them) rather than just hooking up. Then again this is true of most people, depending on age/maturity level and other factors. INTPs don't usually actively pursue a relationship but wait for the person who is interested to smack them in the face with their interest, which often goes unnoticed for some time for the more oblivious of us, but recognizing the clues is a learned thing so after a relationship or two an INTP shouldn't have much too much trouble with it.

INTPs are prone to non-action rather than action, so a woman fishing for an INTP man has to put the worm and hook in the INTP's mouth rather than have him try to bite at it himself.

intps have got to be the least social of all types, how do they ever get married?

INTPs are one of the least likely types to be married and women who marry INTP men are among the least satisfied with their relationship. That doesn't mean that we all fail though!
 

simulatedworld

Freshman Member
Joined
Nov 7, 2008
Messages
5,552
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
7w6
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
INTP males, usually not.

INTP females tend to have a really unique novelty value that most N guys will go for, in my experience. I dated one in high school--she always had tons of random hangers-on.

To be fair, she was also really pretty. It ended badly. To this day I am not sure if she was a sociopath or just incredibly insecure.
 
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