[INTJ] INTJ and infatuation

[Rangler]

What's it like for all you INTJs when you get infatuated with someone? How would you signal your interest?

 

[EffEmDoubleyou]

We're INTJs, we wouldn't!

 

[pippi]

We're INTJs, we wouldn't!

Sad aren't we.

I showed my interest by sitting on my husband's lap in a hot tub. I'm very subtle.

 

[iwakar]

Sad aren't we.

I showed my interest by sitting on my husband's lap in a hot tub. I'm very subtle.

rofl

 

[SurlyAdam]

If we're paying any attention to you at all, and especially if we're the one to initiate contact, we're interested.

 

[Economica]

If we're paying any attention to you at all, and especially if we're the one to initiate contact, we're interested.

Uh, no. I pay attention to and initiate contact with plenty of men I'm not interested in. Of course, I'm of the odd sort of INTJ who actually socializes!

How would you signal your interest?

Like pippi, I'm not exactly subtle if I choose to signal my interest. Whether I choose to do so hinges on whether I believe the interest is reciprocated. Incidentally, my judgment on that score has historically not been great; when I was an ugly duckling in my teens I threw myself at a couple of guys who were not interested, and conversely, I have also kidded both others and myself that I was not interested when I was. I'm pretty transparent though and hence amenable to the usual tests of interest - not relaxing around the object of my affection, blushing and not knowing what to do with myself if ambiguously teased or complimented by said person, etc.

If in doubt about an INTJ's interest, just flirt, and if nothing seems to come of it, flirt harder. You'll either soon be rejected in no uncertain terms or break down their defenses and all of a sudden have a surprisingly happy and desirous INTJ on your hands. - Good luck with that.

 

[Thursday]

yeah-you all are very direct in a vulnerable-indirect way
"when are you coming over here"
"I need my Avery-time"

 

[Kasper]

I showed my interest by sitting on my husband's lap in a hot tub. I'm very subtle.

*hi-five* love it!

 

[squibbles]

If it's just infatuation, I keep it to myself until it dies a few weeks later.

If it's a genuine interest, I'll talk to you. I'll even talk on the phone and over AIM, two things I really don't like!

I'm a female if it matters?

 

[entropie]

Did a p already made the infartuation joke ? No ? Well, here ya go

 

[01011010]

Does not compute

 

[Uytuun]

Like pippi, I'm not exactly subtle if I choose to signal my interest. I'm pretty transparent though and hence amenable to the usual tests of interest - not relaxing around the object of my affection, blushing and not knowing what to do with myself if ambiguously teased or complimented by said person, etc.

True. I'm not exactly subtle when I want someone (if they don't want me more, in which case I have a history of sabotaging myself by losing interest)...I'll try to be around them and devise plans to that effect, corner them and ask them if they are going to that party as well etc...It's all very non-verbal and weird and probably too intense and serious and stuff - success rate has been highly disappointing, but meh. Pay attention to what we do, not to what we say.

 

[Psychicman7]

Sad aren't we.

I showed my interest by sitting on my husband's lap in a hot tub. I'm very subtle.

Funny you said that, I met this INTJ woman and things started heating up the same way, she "subtly" sat on my lap, and, you know .... poor thing, she didn't know what she got herself into.

 

[Kasper]

Funny you said that, I met this INTJ woman and things started heating up the same way, she "subtly" sat on my lap, and, you know .... poor thing, she didn't know what she got herself into.

I think you may now be married, you just don't realise it. Congrats

 

[Psychicman7]

I think you may now be married, you just don't realise it. Congrats

Not quite the stereotype, but close
But then again, what is a relationship!

 

[01011010]

Like pippi, I'm not exactly subtle if I choose to signal my interest.

Same.

I'm very direct. If I'm interested in someone, I make it known in a very clear manner. No mincing words. Of course, I get to know individuals over a long period of time before reaching the point of deciding to date. Yet, I don't wait to see if there's any romantic inclination on their part first. I just go for it.