[NT] NTs and Affection

[Rangler]

I like physical affection to a point. I understand how to use it to my advantage, especially if the girl has been on my mind. But, after a while I like to get on with the rest of my day. And, if a girl is unimportant to me, I dislike unnecessary physical affection. I can separate sex from the need for an emotional connection.

I show affection in a number of ways, mainly through listening to and learning about someone. I like having deeper conversations with people I care about, and I'm a shallow cocky though charming flirt to those that I don't care about. Sometimes I'll buy them a coffee or dinner so we can chat. I give good massages, but don't give a lot of them out. That's how a lover can really tell if I'm falling for them.

 

[desiree]

1. Pattern to showing affection & example:
Listening to people is my way of showing affection.
Most people I know usually talk about things that I consider less than penetrating. "Man, you know the whole 9-11 thing? Like, with the towers? You know, sometimes man, I just think there's something they're not telling us...like, a conspiracy or something." Or, "Alan didn't call me back. I dunno why. I wonder if he doesn't like me. Do you think he doesn't like me because he didn't call me back?"
I usually fake active listening (nod & smile) when I think people are talking to indulge a desire to be heard.
But when I hear a thought that contains some activity, I show that I am listening by doing the opposite: I just watch and listen, and to keep that person talking, I keep my nods & smiles to the absolute minimum necessary.
I find this keeps them talking for quite some time (which is kind of disturbing to new acquaintances). I believe they continue to talk instead of trailing off because they have the impression that I actually care.

2. Length of relationship before showing affection:
However long it takes them to say something meaningful. I believe some people have meaningful thoughts but say meaningless things because they think it is expected of them, and only share their thoughts when they feel safe from persecution.

 

[Ulaes]

i tried and failed at answering this question