[NT] Developing feeling from an NT's heart and mind

[entropie]

I think there is a difference between your own emotions / emotions of others and your own feelings / feeling of others. Emotions aint a thing noone can understand in a way for himself. But to be a master of feeling would be to see how all of the 4 named above are interconnected.

I through my relationship to my INFJ start to understand more about my own motivation. While I can explain rationally everything I do, there is infact sometimes more happening to me that I do not count in into the equations.

To master the bridge one day and to see motivation in others and now how they feel or what there emotions are, I think is far fetched in my case. But the ability to be aware of your emotions, understand the feeling and to put it in words for yourself is a thing I am gonna learn throughout my whole life.

 

[pecan111]

I have never met a 3 year old who, having their chocolate taken away and given arbitrarily to another child, isn't going to react strongly, and in an emotional sense.

Sorry, I need to clarify. When I say young NT's, I mean 20-30 years of age. I do feel everyone younger is still experimenting and such...I mean more when they are stronly preferential towards T and living a young adult life.

I think there is a difference between your own emotions / emotions of others and your own feelings / feeling of others. Emotions aint a thing noone can understand in a way for himself. But to be a master of feeling would be to see how all of the 4 named above are interconnected.

I through my relationship to my INFJ start to understand more about my own motivation. While I can explain rationally everything I do, there is infact sometimes more happening to me that I do not count in into the equations.

To master the bridge one day and to see motivation in others and now how they feel or what there emotions are, I think is far fetched in my case. But the ability to be aware of your emotions, understand the feeling and to put it in words for yourself is a thing I am gonna learn throughout my whole life.

I didn't say anything before must I feel the need to clarify something that I said as well.

When I say that I am developing my feeling, I am aware that there is a difference bet. feelers emotions and mine..both before and after. All I can do is compare the before and after.

FOr me, the emotions were underdeveloped and "tinny" sounding..like the negative of a photograph, some highs and lows, but not fully "embodied" and lacking aroma. This may be a poor analogy but its very hard to put into words what is experienced only subjectively.

I will always be an NT, but I feel I will gain more depth and understanding not only of myself, but of others. I could always sense very fine shades of behavior. This along with life experience and a deep desire created a person who can see a great deal in others, very quickly. I have been tested by others on this over and over again and they are really shocked at how well I tend to see thru others. Of course, I am not always right and I tend to withold judgement. I simply report what I saw and this is the feedback i tend to get a lot.

The thing is, even with this ability, I still didn't "feel" others the way feelers do. I knew it was different and I had an understanding, to a point. But now, my feelings are developing into a fuller, deeper emotion. Its like the lines are being filled in and colored and its not "tinny" all the time anymore. Its like I am starting to feel in "stereo"...I can tell from my own frame of reference that I was not feeling much at all before OR the feeling wasn't in "stereo". They were immature, but not tantrum laden. They just weren't full of body; they tended to be full of "mind" or "in the head". I felt like there was a disconnect between the brain and the heart(body). There is a very distinct difference.

I wish to say that us thinkers have very well developed THINKING...we have honed it and relied on it for many years. Its why we can crush with our logic, but is it necessary to crush? ...I am finding not only that it is not healthy for living, its preferred to have balance. I think that NT's always have to master their domain, whatever that is. But I think that NT's want to somehow prove they FEEL more than they do. What they experience as feeling is not WELL-DEVELOPED feeling, but there is no way to explain it when it happens. You will know it...that is all i can say.

You know even as I type this, I am aware of having to rein myself in from leaving my "body state" to my "head state". I like this peaceful, restful feeling and I don't wish to overthink all the time anymore. I hope this will help a bit, but it really isn't nearly as important to me anymore. It doesn't matter the way it used to and God! how incredible that is for me. To simply feel and be and not have to think about all of this over and over again..


Perhaps this can give you a bit of perspective as to why feelers don't need to go this route and why other types can just glaze over when we speak about things too logically. I loved debating and analyzing, but man, this is so much better. PEACE!!!! I needed it...

Heading back to restful state ....peace!!

 

[tinkerbell]

my favourite lyric is on this subject of Thinking V's Feeling.

I have very strong feelings, but increadibly strong thoughts. So I kind of pingpong between emotionalness and thoughts based. I tend to base decisions on Thoughts not feelings, but my emotional life is rich most of the time....

Anyways the lyrics.... Chris De Burg (never the trendiest of singers song writers - but his proper old stuff is pretty deep)

Let us talk no more, let us go to sleep,
Let the rain fall on the window pane,
And fill the castle keep,
I am weary now, weary to my bones,
Weary from the travelling,
And the endless country roads,
That brought us here tonight, for this weekend,
And a chance to work it out,
For we cannot live together, and we cannot live apart,
It's the classical dilemma between the head and the heart;

She is sleeping now, softly in the night,
And in my heart of darkness she has been the only light,
I am lost in love, looking at her face,
And still I hear the voice of reason,
Telling me to chase these dreams away,
Oh here we go again, we're divided from the start,
For we cannot live together, and we cannot live apart,
It's the classical dilemma between the head and the heart,
The head and the heart;

Now the dawn begins, and still I cannot sleep,
My head is spinning round but now the way is clear to me,
There is nothing left, nothing left to show,
The jury and the judge will see, it's time to let her go,
Now hear the heart:
I believe that time will show,
She will always be a part of my world,
I don't want to see her go;
So I plead my case to hear the heart,
And stay...
It's time to let her go - I don't want to let her go...
It's time to let her go - I don't want to let her go...
It's time to let her go...
And in this classical dilemma,
I find for - the heart.

Well 90% of the time I don't find from the heart, but I'm a T what do you expect.....

Lis

 

[Kangirl]

Sorry, I need to clarify. When I say young NT's, I mean 20-30 years of age. I do feel everyone younger is still experimenting and such...I mean more when they are stronly preferential towards T and living a young adult life.

Yep, misunderstanding, sorry!

Just for argument's sake, would you feel extremely angry if someone snatched your cash-and-memento-filled purse and got away with it? I'm really just trying to clarify for myself what people mean when they talk about 'T' types being unemotional. I certainly make decisions in a less emotional way, and deal with life in general in a colder way than many other types (I find) but in no way would I describe myself as unemotional. I'm as likely to get pissed off, or hurt or happy as the next person. I think. Maybe just by different things? Hmmm.

 

[pecan111]

Just for argument's sake, would you feel extremely angry if someone snatched your cash-and-memento-filled purse and got away with it? I'm really just trying to clarify for myself what people mean when they talk about 'T' types being unemotional. I certainly make decisions in a less emotional way, and deal with life in general in a colder way than many other types (I find) but in no way would I describe myself as unemotional.

Yes, I would have been ticked off..surely..again, this is very hard to describe.
first, its the quality of feeling..We all feel, but what I am experiencing, I belive, is development of feeling. i don't wish to sound like we have "better" feelings or "right" feelings..

I always made decisions more on a rational basis. If it made sense or not. If it didn't, there likely was no way I would go along with it. I have noticed in my life that some feelings were intense. Like they were in hyper drive, but they really didn't warrant the kind of expressions I made of them, but I had other feelings that were nearly non-existent.

What happens now is just very lovely to me. I feel guilt and I can immediately call it guilt. Before, I wasn't sure bec. it had the fringes of it, it had some of the essence of guilt, but I wasn't SURE it was guilt. I FEEL guilt now and I know I was somehow out of line.

My voice and thoughts soften and my thoughts drop in relation to the amount of feeling. Its like there is only a finite amount of brain or body that can be devoted to thinking and feeling...For me, as I feel more, the thinking drops off and I am free to feel and then think much much easier. Before I had to stop my mouth from opening. My thoughts were running away with all the space that was available and there was almost none left for feeling.

I would guess that it is the opposite for feelers. So much emotion and little room for thinking. I could not have told you any of this before this started to happen to me. My feelings were usually questioned at some level before this time and now my feelings are not. They are what they are and I can go from there, or I can choose to not do anything. They don't overwhelm me.

I used to feel intensely and very very quickly and now it doesn happen in the same way, but they are more apporpriate for the situation at hand...
I am sorry I can't describe it better, but I can now see why this doesn't lend itself to speaking aobut it...and why so many feelers can't until their thinking develops more.