• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

[INTJ] INTJ Women - How to get to them?

mlittrell

New member
Joined
Sep 3, 2008
Messages
1,387
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
9w1
dont try to achieve higher then her for a couple reasons:

a) you won't
b) it will prolly piss her off
c) she'll find you boring because you like the same things
d) you won't

be yourself, that always works

and being yourself is good advise because if you have to be someone else for her to like you then she isn't liking you for you and then it isn't "true" love as some romance buffs might say. and then you have to keep acting like someone else and that is extremely difficult to keep up, though possible i suppose.
 

Misty_Mountain_Rose

New member
Joined
Jul 21, 2008
Messages
1,123
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
4w5
All of this assistance with plotting the capture of a fellow INTJ woman somehow makes me feel bad... like I'm committing a crime...

I'm overwhelmed by the urge to yell 'RUN INTJ! RUN!'
 
Joined
Sep 18, 2008
Messages
1,941
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
512
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
Jesus, if you think beating her in everything that she cares about is the way to go, you've got another thing coming. Not all INTJs are perfectionistic to be competitive. You aren't in elementary school anymore, you don't need to hit the girl to show her that you like her.

I will tell you that I despise people who try to beat me to "win". I admire people who work hard to better themselves, and don't see me as someone to be impressed and won over. I also admire and am attracted to people who don't know how awesome they are, and often provide a fresh, interesting perspective on things (without showing off). It shows a humble, understated confidence and hidden intelligence. A sense of humour helps too.

Some people said to "be yourself". The more accurate/helpful version would be a Joss Whedon quote, "Always be yourself, unless you suck". In which case, just don't even bother.
 

Misty_Mountain_Rose

New member
Joined
Jul 21, 2008
Messages
1,123
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
4w5
^^^ What nonsequitur said.

I agree with the competition thing. I'm not one to compete with others, I prefer to compete with myself and constantly better myself.

Wherever I'm put in direct competition with others, I shut down so to speak and do the minimum required. I was never one for team sports for this reason. I prefer activities that I can work on within myself rather than focusing on who is doing better/worse than I am.
 

Tallulah

Emerging
Joined
Feb 19, 2008
Messages
6,009
MBTI Type
INTP
Some people said to "be yourself". The more accurate/helpful version would be a Joss Whedon quote, "Always be yourself, unless you suck". In which case, just don't even bother.

That is an awesome quote.
 

Harlow_Jem

New member
Joined
Apr 18, 2008
Messages
219
MBTI Type
eNTJ
Enneagram
8w9
How to get an INTJ girl: don't try to get her. In other words, your strategy should be to get her by not trying to get her. Go forth and excel in your own passions; you have to make her notice that you're passionate about the things you truly care about, not the things she cares about just because she cares about them. If she sees that you're trying to compete with her or are trying to get into things because she does them, you'll most likely just do the opposite; she'll probably just look at you in disdain and find you boring.

You have to make her come to you by making her think she's pulled to you by her own accord/decision that has nothing to do with you trying hard to pull her to you. Basically, it can be done but it has to be done artfully and you're gonna have to be a little tricky.
 

Uytuun

New member
Joined
Apr 19, 2008
Messages
1,633
MBTI Type
nnnn
You have to make her come to you by making her think she's pulled to you by her own accord/decision that has nothing to do with you trying hard to pull her to you. Basically, it can be done but it has to be done artfully and you're gonna have to be a little tricky.


Shit hell, you're right.
 
S

Sniffles

Guest
You have to make her come to you by making her think she's pulled to you by her own accord/decision that has nothing to do with you trying hard to pull her to you. Basically, it can be done but it has to be done artfully and you're gonna have to be a little tricky.

Love potion #9? :D
 

Harlow_Jem

New member
Joined
Apr 18, 2008
Messages
219
MBTI Type
eNTJ
Enneagram
8w9
A shortcut to getting an INTJ girl: research on her interests and casually start a conversation with her as if she's just some random person you're having an interesting conversation with and then just as you see her getting maybe a little excited/interested, ignore her for a bit as if she's not a person of much significance to you. By this, you'll probably have perked an interest/curiousity in her.

Then give her time to realize (think) you're not pursuing her and for her to cultivate an interest in you that she thinks she got from herself. Once she feels safe in that you're a person of intellect and not a hound dog, she'll most likely find a way to get to you herself.
 

sonata

New member
Joined
Dec 2, 2008
Messages
291
MBTI Type
iNtJ
A shortcut to getting an INTJ girl: research on her interests and casually start a conversation with her as if she's just some random person you're having an interesting conversation with and then just as you see her getting maybe a little excited/interested, ignore her for a bit as if she's not a person of much significance to you. By this, you'll probably have perked an interest/curiousity in her.

Wow, yes. A guy just did this to me. I don't think it was intentional on his part --- most probably I'm just a person of not much significance to him --- but it works. I'm interested.
 

BlackCat

Shaman
Joined
Nov 19, 2008
Messages
7,038
MBTI Type
ESFP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Just be yourself once you're friends with them. They hate people who are fakes.
 

Beorn

Permabanned
Joined
Dec 10, 2008
Messages
5,005
A shortcut to getting an INTJ girl: research on her interests and casually start a conversation with her as if she's just some random person you're having an interesting conversation with and then just as you see her getting maybe a little excited/interested, ignore her for a bit as if she's not a person of much significance to you. By this, you'll probably have perked an interest/curiousity in her.

Then give her time to realize (think) you're not pursuing her and for her to cultivate an interest in you that she thinks she got from herself. Once she feels safe in that you're a person of intellect and not a hound dog, she'll most likely find a way to get to you herself.

See this is exactly what happened in my situation. The first time I met this girl we got into a big conversation about chiropractors (I hate them and her brother is one.) She realised I was a person of intellect at least equal to hers and that I wasn't interested in her... because in fact I wasn't. Then over the next few weeks she began this weird mating dance where she would say my name in a weird voice whenever she saw me and if she had anything in her hands when she passed me in the halls she would hit me with whatever it was. That all cummulnated in her asking me to take her running which was really a favor for me to do since she is really slow.

Anyway after that I took the reigns and everything went to crap. I began asking her out on dates and pretty much made every stupid mistake a guy could make (not complementing on the date, not giving much notice before the date, asking for a date 2 days before her grandfather's funeral the list goes on...). Several months later I'm still nervous around her and I think she's still sensitive about the way I treat her. Anyway, I know I can't ask her out on any dates right now... but I still really want to have some sort of open conversation about what has been going on.
 

Desperado44

New member
Joined
Jun 14, 2008
Messages
471
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Wow....I came in here to start a similar subject.

I just met an INTJ girl.....we have really hit it off.....

What makes 'em tick?
 
Joined
Sep 18, 2008
Messages
1,941
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
512
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
A shortcut to getting an INTJ girl: research on her interests and casually start a conversation with her as if she's just some random person you're having an interesting conversation with and then just as you see her getting maybe a little excited/interested, ignore her for a bit as if she's not a person of much significance to you. By this, you'll probably have perked an interest/curiousity in her.

Then give her time to realize (think) you're not pursuing her and for her to cultivate an interest in you that she thinks she got from herself. Once she feels safe in that you're a person of intellect and not a hound dog, she'll most likely find a way to get to you herself.

:doh: So that's what happened.
 

ed111

New member
Joined
Sep 9, 2008
Messages
426
MBTI Type
INTJ
I was told by my INTJ girlfriend yesterday that she was seduced by my stationary collection. She also said that by the time she'd found out that most of my pens didn't work it was too late :)
 

Hendo Barbarosa

New member
Joined
Dec 26, 2008
Messages
197
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5w4
A shortcut to getting an INTJ girl: research on her interests and casually start a conversation with her as if she's just some random person you're having an interesting conversation with and then just as you see her getting maybe a little excited/interested, ignore her for a bit as if she's not a person of much significance to you. By this, you'll probably have perked an interest/curiousity in her.

I've been doing this completely on accident to an INTJ girl I know.

for reference though OP, it does totally work.
 

Rangler

New member
Joined
Jan 19, 2009
Messages
319
MBTI Type
ENTJ
Enneagram
3w8
As a conquerer of INTJ women ;) I feel that I am in a good position to give you some advice!

- pretend you're an INTJ;
- do not make her late for appointments etc. This might be a problem for you as an INTP. I recommend buying a pda and using it;
- buy her flowers. INTJ women, like all women like some romance. Although she may seem like a cold blooded bitch, she'll melt if you make bold romantic gestures;
- use correct spelling and grammar;
- don't argue the point on technicalities: this might prove to be annoying;
- ensure your pad is neat and tidy: she probably can't abide a mess.

I hope some of these ideas help you. Good luck!

Totally true about the flowers. I had some success doing this.
 

Kalach

Filthy Apes!
Joined
Dec 3, 2008
Messages
4,310
MBTI Type
INTJ
Wow....I came in here to start a similar subject.

I just met an INTJ girl.....we have really hit it off.....

What makes 'em tick?

Realise that your natural instinct is to overpower her.

And you won't notice it when she disagrees with you.

And she'll say important things in a way you don't recognise as important, or even hear very well.

This is just another way of saying your Se is much more compelling to you than hers and it's in service of Fe. Her Te doesn't stand a chance. Unless you're genuinely interested in her ideas, she'll be a colourful but disappointing play thing.

Or you could be friends. Mature INTJs and ENFJs who know something valuable about boundaries can enjoy each other's company pretty well.
 
Top