[MBTI General] Best of both worlds. INTJ Dad, ESFP mom.

[AgentF]

bump!


(holding place)

 

[Fluffywolf]

my stepdad forced me to have endless tennis and golf lessons so I could "succeed in the business world". I was a very happy child, which totally baffled them. I think they saw me as idiotic because I smiled all the time. I saw humor and contradiction in everything they said or did, and it amused me.

Heh, although my family situation is definately not as bad as yours have been, I do have an ESTJ dad that more often than not has similar reasonings. Ones I too have continuesly shrugged off much like you did. My mother is, I believe, a pretty strong ENFJ, this often results in shouting back and forth, I never understood why my mother tries to 'educate' my uneducatable father time and time again. They're still married ofcourse and surprisingly in love. My father has mellowed down quite a bit, especially the last 10 years or so though. I think he's learning from me and my ENTP brother to more properly visualize other peoples situations. Besides, neither me or my brother have a problem saying what's on our minds now that we're more mature. Which has since put my father in place many a times, resulting in him having to reflect on his actions more. But back when we're teens, we didn't have that capacity.

Back then he was either a person you could get along with, or one you could hate.

Although I did not always agree on his views and principles, he at least did teach me that it was important to stand for your own beliefs. I just realized I was perfectly capable of shaping those beliefs all by myself, instead of having to copy them from my parents.

 

[Ukon]

Well, my mother is what I assume an ENFJ and my father seems like an INFJ, yet also has those ISTP characteristics for some reason. I don't think he is one, since...I can't really describe why, but ANYWAY.

I grew up with my older brother (ENFP/ENTP/I have no idea what he is besides a pyromaniac) and my younger sister (INFP). Let's start with my mommy.

Mommy isn't exactly your typical ExxJ parent. She wasn't really strict in the sense of all-work-no-play. Not at all, in fact. She did want us to do well in school, but wasn't the kind to get upset if we failed a class she knew we worked hard in. She did keep us nicely structured, but I must admit she was a little...Protective. Mama would constantly feel uneasy if I hung out with a friend she hadn't properly analyzed, compared, and judged with her mother skills.

She kept us little rascals well-fed and happy all the time. I'm so glad she was never the kind to scold for overeating or being hungry. She once said that if there's food, it is to be eaten, and by who it doesn't matter-- except when it comes to chocolate. No one. Touched. Her. Chocolate.

We were also entertained with the glorious contraptions known as bikes.

But. My mother meant well. Thanks to her extroversion, we often went on camping trips with our cousins during the summer, and she always had things planned to keep us busy. Sometimes, it was a little much, but mom understood my and my sister's need for alone time, and didn't bother dragging us out of the camper when we needed it. Since both of her parents were introverts, I suspect that is why she wasn't as strict and controlling as ENFJs are made out to be.

Now for dad.

I'll just start off by pointing out my papa's stereotypical ISTP tendencies. While my mom would plan the camping trips, my dad would go out and buy us all new equipment and such. He always took my brother and sister fishing, since I don't have much of an interest in it. But he wouldn't usually take us out with a gazillion other people. It'd just be one of us and him, unless we wanted to tag along. He's very introverted and reserved, which made a lovely contrast to my mother's bubbly personality. I fondly remember him taking me on a hiking trip just so I could take pretty photos for a project.

But back to being an INFJ. Him and I would constantly talk about conspiracy theories, and he had/has tons of books about those kind of things that make me sit on the edge of my seat! He still is like that, even as he grows "older". (He's only 45.) I didn't have a super close relationship until I was 10, however. I can't really place why, but I can assure that he was still very much a good parent. He was structured, like my mom, but not overbearing. I do not remember a single instance where he raised his voice at any of us. He had that whole "counselor" thing going on. Quickly trying to discover answers to even the simplest of his children's problems.

I think the biggest downside with him was his way of sometimes being a sideline parent. It almost seemed like he wasn't always there. Luckily, when he was, it was memorable! That feeling of being a ghost-like parent was mostly gone by the time I was 13.

The way they have shaped me is a tad difficult to explain. If MBTI types are relevant to genes, I definitely got my I and N from my dad. Similarly, I likely received my neatness from my mom. Or, to be more blunt, my OCD. Everything must be clean and orderly, but not feel like it isn't lived in. To be short, our environment at home should be simple, while our minds are complex. Yeah...Let's go with that.

I learned a lot of life lessons from both parents. My mother taught me the importance of eating healthy, keeping your word, and daily, practical things like that, whereas my father taught me the majority of my mental and emotional growth. Both are just as quintessential as the other, and I do not feel as if my mother's lessons were any less important than my father's. She also had her fair share of insane concepts and wacky knowledge.

I love my parents. It breaks my heart to know that there are millions of kids out there with bad relationships with their's, or who have abusive ones. My mom once said to me she's "holding my anger for the day I come face-to-face with a bad parent." Go mom!

 

[think2much]

My parents divorced when I was 3. I was traded around, mom on weekends and dad during the week. My dad got remarried to an ESTJ a few years later (an extremely unhealthy one at that). This is where I was really tested in life, to deal with my opposite. I was basically forced to develop my inferiors (Si and Te) in order to effectively communicate and get my way (which was usually what I felt was right). The only thing I can really thank my step mom for other than making my life a living hell for 7 years, is balancing me out cognitively, indirectly assisting my inferior development at a young age. I usually blame this for how assertive I am and how I use my inferiors (which is a lot, this is thought to be unusual.).

There's mine.

this is something I'll never understand. Why do people put up with step-mom/dad? I will never listen to someone that's none blood related. Why would you put up with that?

 

[Coriolis]

this is something I'll never understand. Why do people put up with step-mom/dad? I will never listen to someone that's none blood related. Why would you put up with that?

Same reason one puts up with teachers, coaches, pastors and other adults in one's life. They care about you, help you grow, teach you valuable lessons, set a good example. If they don't do these things, you may owe them outward respect and deference, but they have not earned more than that.

 

[BlackCat]

this is something I'll never understand. Why do people put up with step-mom/dad? I will never listen to someone that's none blood related. Why would you put up with that?

I didn't, I got kicked out at 15 because I was so rebellious toward her.

 

[think2much]

Same reason one puts up with teachers, coaches, pastors and other adults in one's life. They care about you, help you grow, teach you valuable lessons, set a good example. If they don't do these things, you may owe them outward respect and deference, but they have not earned more than that.

when I got old enough around high school I stop putting crap with teachers or anyone else. I realized at that point I was more mature and understood any lesson they were trying to give me.

4 or 5 teachers did end up kicking me out and transfer me to a new one teacher which is fine by me.

I didn't, I got kicked out at 15 because I was so rebellious toward her.

They can't kick you out when your still a minor. Like I said you have the right to live in that house unless they legally disown you.

 

[BlackCat]

They can't kick you out when your still a minor. Like I said you have the right to live in that house unless they legally disown you.

I ended up living in my own rental house, lol. It was owned by my dad, I worked to pay the bills, but I still got kicked out because of my step mom.