You know, I think you just articulated something I've had trouble putting my finger on. INFP's... well, it's no secret how much I love 'em, but now I'm a little closer to understanding why
Mind you, ESFP's have a great way of putting things back in perspective for me as well... when I get tangled up in bullshit existential angst...
Why don't thinkers back down? Why oh why? How many times have I later kicked myself and thought, "yeah I STILL believe I was right, but what a fucking douche, I should've just kept quiet! I didn't have to pretend to agree, it wasn't a binary choice between that and relentlessly pursue them with a sledge hammer - I coulda just said let's agree to disagree and left it but oh no, I had to fucking pursue it, didn't I? and NOW look where we're at!"
I have seriously GOT to learn to stop trying to understand everything and to be more close minded. Seriously, life sucks when your mind is so open that trival things can cause cascade self-doubt... I think my trouble is, it's open at both ends
Someone criticises me unfairly and I'm so eager to take on board others' views that the evidence that would back up my feeling of it being unfair falls out of my memory for a bit, and I just feel seriously confused! Someone says something really retarded but can I dismiss it? Oh no, I have to pursue them, bombard them with an inquisition and dissect their views with tweezers and scalpels because I have to UNDERSTAND why they think that, why they said that, what it is on this planet that I'm missing that makes me unable to see that as a feasible thing to say whilst they blurt it out quite naturally... just on the off chance that it's ME who's retarded. And then I realise too late that actually I've come across like I'm close minded and aggressive and intolerant and...
ARRGGHHH!!
I feel your pain. 
