[INTP] INTP first impressions

[Risen]

Ok. This is something of a two tier question. For INTP's, how do you think people usually perceive you when they first meet you, or very early in a relationship? What goes on in your head, with your analysis of how other perceive you? Secondly, how do you other types perceive INTP's upon first meeting them and first getting to know them? Or if the INTP's know, go ahead and state what the people you've encountered ACTUALLY thought about you (would most likely require that they've actually told you).

For me, I think people usually perceive me (mainly talking about offline too) as distant, sometimes too quiet. I believe they also think I'm too serious at times, or if I'm in a talkative humerus mood, they think I'm more serious with my humor than I really am. Then there are those people who are initially attracted to my personality, who generally get to see more sides of me than the former batch of people, and initially pick up the understanding of what I'm really about much more easily. I think this has MUCH to do with different opposing personality types and complimentary personality types, yet there are a great number of other factors that play into initial impressions as well.

 

[Mort Belfry]

I feel people probably think I'm quiet at first, but I notice a few people try to provoke me with questions which at first makes me shyer, but seems as though they think something interesting lurks beneath.

When I'm responsive people think that I'm a nice guy but I always feel that that person thinks I'm unintelligent. This motivates me to got out of my way try to prove them wrong, but which in turn actually proves them right.

 

[laintpe]

Ok. This is something of a two tier question. For INTP's, how do you think people usually perceive you when they first meet you, or very early in a relationship? What goes on in your head, with your analysis of how other perceive you? Secondly, how do you other types perceive INTP's upon first meeting them and first getting to know them? Or if the INTP's know, go ahead and state what the people you've encountered ACTUALLY thought about you (would most likely require that they've actually told you).

I can kind of pretend to be social at first.... but give it a few minutes and it crumbles. Shy would be an obvious description, some people have referred to it as "mysterious", but that's only because I'm so quiet. If I don't try to overcome my shyness, they lose interest in trying to get to know me. Some people have told me that they thought I was annoyed by them... but I wasn't at all and in some cases have actually really liked those people.

To compensate, I sometimes try to act really "smiley" and almost ditzy so I don't come off as aloof or annoyed.... pair that with my appearance and I know those I'm around think I'm lacking a few brain cells. If it's a group of people... I feel like I can't think clearly (there's too much to observe?), tend to look down and hope the attention stays on someone else. In those situations I don't think I'm noticed; although, a few have told me I look sad, bored, or off in my own world. Oh, and most people think I'm not listening... but I'm pretty much always listening... beware!

My humor can be kind of odd, but that doesn't come out until I've known someone for awhile or am really tired. Once I'm a little more comfortable I start to act like the people I'm around... sometimes that works, sometimes it seems like people don't really like themselves (ha-ha-ha). Other times, I try to test people's reactions... and I've really tried to stop doing that.. because most of the people I'm around are not NT's... and they really don't seem to like that. Overall, I don't feel like myself in the presence of 2+ people... unless i'm a detached observer.

 

[Risen]

I can kind of pretend to be social at first.... but give it a few minutes and it crumbles. Shy would be an obvious description, some people have referred to it as "mysterious", but that's only because I'm so quiet. If I don't try to overcome my shyness, they lose interest in trying to get to know me. Some people have told me that they thought I was annoyed by them... but I wasn't at all and in some cases have actually really liked those people.

To compensate, I sometimes try to act really "smiley" and almost ditzy so I don't come off as aloof or annoyed.... pair that with my appearance and I know those I'm around think I'm lacking a few brain cells. If it's a group of people... I feel like I can't think clearly (there's too much to observe?), tend to look down and hope the attention stays on someone else. In those situations I don't think I'm noticed; although, a few have told me I look sad, bored, or off in my own world. Oh, and most people think I'm not listening... but I'm pretty much always listening... beware!

My humor can be kind of odd, but that doesn't come out until I've known someone for awhile or am really tired. Once I'm a little more comfortable I start to act like the people I'm around... sometimes that works, sometimes it seems like people don't really like themselves (ha-ha-ha). Other times, I try to test people's reactions... and I've really tried to stop doing that.. because most of the people I'm around are not NT's... and they really don't seem to like that. Overall, I don't feel like myself in the presence of 2+ people... unless i'm a detached observer.

I swear you just described me, lol. I think people also believe I'm annoyed by them, but in reality it takes A LOT to annoy me or for me to reject someone :/. I've learned not to act too jovial just to make myself seem warmer, as it has the effect you just described. I often rely heavily on the "chameleon" trait many intp's have, and mimic the people I'm around to some degree and learn social skills that way. I also have a lot of difficulty in groups of people larger than 3 (including myself). At that point you usually have varying numbers of extroverts battling for dominance, shifting the playing field to a level of extroversion that I'm not comfortable keeping up with; on top of the fact that with more people it's harder to decide how to act and what what I should be "mimicking". I would also add that the chameleon thing happens largely on an unconscious level. I don't really consciously try to go out and emulate other people's behavior.
I also have a habit of "testing" people, though that usually only presents itself online. It's not beneficial at all if you care about interacting with those people in the future.

For pretty much my entire life, school has been the place where people are alarmingly quick to label me as "the smart guy". That often doesn't help me much, as half seem to be intimidated by that in their own insecurities or whatever. The other half expect me to always be smart and serious, and build expectations and assumptions about me that are not accurate, and only lead them into a state of confusion where they give up on the mystery that is Risen .

 

[anii]

Secondly, how do you other types perceive INTP's upon first meeting them and first getting to know them?

clever, witty, and intimidating

 

[norepinephrine]

Ok. This is something of a two tier question. For INTP's, how do you think people usually perceive you when they first meet you, or very early in a relationship? What goes on in your head, with your analysis of how other perceive you?

Based on feedback I've gotten from people after they've gotten to know me better, I'd say most think I'm a hell of a lot more serious and 'stuffy' than I am. I've had people admit that prior to one incident or another when I let fly with one of those infamous INTP off-the-cuff politically incorrect observations, they'd watched their own language when around me.

OTOH, I'm sure I've led others astray with an initial "Chatty Cathy" approach. But that's generally a persona I adopt when I don't really give a damn about the people I'm conversing with but wish to escape the encounter with a minimum of friction. It's kind of like my "people-person" default autopilot - I couldn't tell you five minutes later what I said, nor do I particularly care.

 

[ThatGirl]

I talked to an INTP for a very long time last night. I would say first impression wise he came off to be very F from a distance. They seem quiet and reserved. The funny thing is that in the turn or a second you can get a fairly cold stubborn glance at them. I dont think its intentional, but it is deffinatly weird. Seems feeler, thinker, feeler, thinker.

They come off intelligent, and content, with a little inner turmoil.

They are fun.

 

[brilliantwomble]

It depends on several factors really. If I am with a close friend when I meet new people and I haven't heard about them before, then I am usually fairly chatty and most of the time I make a decent first impression. People might think I am a lot more extraverted than I really am. If I am with the same close friend, but meeting someone new that I have heard about before, I usually come off as distant and calculated. I am usually trying to figure out if what I heard about them is true and where they fit into my picture of who I thought they would be. So in those cases I come off cold and distant, usually rather quiet.

If I meet someone new by myself and I never have heard about them, I am usually quiet, distant, and people probably think I am arrogant and uninterested--whether or not that is the case.

If I meet someone new by myself and I have heard about them before, I again come of calculated, but more playful. Without someone else I know around me I feel freer to explore things and test people.

In general I am pretty sure I come off opinionated and give the impression that I am a lot more set in my views that I really am. I tend to take a stance just for the heck of it and those that don't know me miss that. I do come of distant though that is pretty much a given. The part that is funny and yet sad at the same time is that I would never give off my actual thoughts on important matters to someone after just meeting them. I would test them first so the fact that I come off incredibly opinionated is humorous, but false to some extent.

 

[garbage]

Secondly, how do you other types perceive INTP's upon first meeting them and first getting to know them?

Upon first meeting them?

distant

First thought that popped in my head when I read the thread title.

Afterward, though, I very genuinely enjoy the intellectual connection when I get to know them.

For example, my INTP coworker and I constantly muse over random topics in an almost philosophical nature. He also brings out the "impractical" side in me at times.. I'm usually direct and hardly ever discuss things just for the sake of doing so.

He's also very messy and disorganized

 

[Risen]

He's also very messy and disorganized

You'll learn to love that part of INTP's too . We can inject disorder where the presiding state of order has become too stagnant and monotonous. Really, it's a good thing .

 

[Kollin]

I think people get a first impression that I'm rather quiet. Also the way I carry myself people tend to see me as fairly self-confident, since I usually hold my head up and look people in the eye when I'm talking to them, and have pretty good self-esteem so people usually notice that.I don't think people would label me as an intp at first... I think the main things that people notice first is that I don't talk much, which is usually just because I don't care for "small talk".

 

[INA]

On first impression, people think I'm a serious, studious sort. LOL
I'm a silly chatterbox amongst friends and a slacker otherwise.

Some think I'm stuck up, and that's another epic fail.

 

[ajblaise]

From what I gather, I come off as aloof, distant, and a little critical. A few people have said things like "I think you hate me!". I think I put out a more judgmental vibe then I mean to. But if I start interacting with people they see I approach most things in a very nonserious way and that I'm generally easy going and humorous, and a total scatter-brain. With friends I can be somewhat gregarious.

 

[Grungemouse]

Classmate: "I don't like Emma... she's too... nehhhrrr."

So there you have it; I come across as "too nehhhrrr," to some.

My friends in highschool didn't like me at first because I was too loud. I only wanted to get attention from a crush. My sixth form friends thought I didn't like them because I was too quiet and never approached them in the common room.

 

[Willfrey]

I've read where an INTP's typically are quiet upon meeting people becuase many people couple quiet types with intelligent types. I'm very guilty of this. I almost never instantly hit it off with people, instead my friendships are built over gradually 'letting them in'. I find this has made the best circle of friends for me. I guess in theory by being quiet and closed off I avoid the attention and efforts of people I don't work well with. To snag people's interest I usually stick to things I'm good at or just enjoy, dumb and brainy jokes (see my sig), playing cards, piano, karaoke, pool. I use these as tools to land first impressions also.

 

[Nihilen]

On 1st impression people think I dislike them, then with time they get to know I actually dislike them.

 

[kelric]

I can kind of pretend to be social at first.... but give it a few minutes and it crumbles. Shy would be an obvious description, some people have referred to it as "mysterious", but that's only because I'm so quiet. If I don't try to overcome my shyness, they lose interest in trying to get to know me. Some people have told me that they thought I was annoyed by them... but I wasn't at all and in some cases have actually really liked those people.

I often rely heavily on the "chameleon" trait many intp's have, and mimic the people I'm around to some degree and learn social skills that way. I also have a lot of difficulty in groups of people larger than 3 (including myself).

Based on feedback I've gotten from people after they've gotten to know me better, I'd say most think I'm a hell of a lot more serious and 'stuffy' than I am.

I think people get a first impression that I'm rather quiet.

From what I gather, I come off as aloof, distant, and a little critical. A few people have said things like "I think you hate me!". I think I put out a more judgmental vibe then I mean to. But if I start interacting with people they see I approach most things in a very nonserious way and that I'm generally easy going and humorous, and a total scatter-brain. With friends I can be somewhat gregarious.

I almost never instantly hit it off with people, instead my friendships are built over gradually 'letting them in'.

All of this.

 

[Rachelinpa]

It depends on several factors really. If I am with a close friend when I meet new people and I haven't heard about them before, then I am usually fairly chatty and most of the time I make a decent first impression. People might think I am a lot more extraverted than I really am. If I am with the same close friend, but meeting someone new that I have heard about before, I usually come off as distant and calculated. I am usually trying to figure out if what I heard about them is true and where they fit into my picture of who I thought they would be. So in those cases I come off cold and distant, usually rather quiet.

If I meet someone new by myself and I never have heard about them, I am usually quiet, distant, and people probably think I am arrogant and uninterested--whether or not that is the case.

If I meet someone new by myself and I have heard about them before, I again come of calculated, but more playful. Without someone else I know around me I feel freer to explore things and test people.

In general I am pretty sure I come off opinionated and give the impression that I am a lot more set in my views that I really am. I tend to take a stance just for the heck of it and those that don't know me miss that. I do come of distant though that is pretty much a given. The part that is funny and yet sad at the same time is that I would never give off my actual thoughts on important matters to someone after just meeting them. I would test them first so the fact that I come off incredibly opinionated is humorous, but false to some extent.

I like what you said here. This is true to what my experiences with INTPs have been. It is difficult for me to know what to do though and makes me a little uneasy because I almost always feel like I am being tested. And, I wonder what I must do in order to prove that I want the truth and am capable of handling it. I'm sure it varies, but how long does this take? I feel like I can never relax.

 

[brilliantwomble]

One of my closest friends is an ENFJ. I would say it took me about a year or so after I met her before I really started opening up to her, but in general I start to open up to people for real after they have shared enough with me that the bit of vunerability I am giving in to is much less than what they have shared. So it is a lot of give and take. The more open others are with me and the more sincere the more likely I am to entrust them with info and the truth. However, one important thing is when I get to know someone and I test them with small bits of who I really am I watch really closely as to how they handle it. If they do well then I might give them more trust, but if they fail, it may be awhile (or never depending on the person) before I entrust them with something else. So at least with me anything personal I share is fair game as a test--so handling personal info sensitivity is important.

 

[Orangey]

I and my INTP brother come off as shy and quiet at first. People have also told me that I give off a critical vibe, like I don't like them. This is the single most odd thing, since most of the time I DO like them, and secretly wish that they'd talk to me more often.