[NT] Hurt feelings and NT's

[Scott]

Pretty much.

 

[entropie]

Guess as far as it goes with ENTP, they are pretty unaware of how they come off to other people, but they are nevertheless intrested. It would explain all the "what do you think about entp's" threads .

One thing is for sure, this attitude needs to be understood and be counterreacted with a model idea of how and why things are like they are within oneself.

Which brings one ultimately to the answer, why I am here

 

[Amargith]

So bottom line, we don't have to worry about hurting you guys, till we actually know you and even then it's not that easy. Ironically, it works the other way around for me. I'm more likely to be hurt in the beginning and way more likely to give you the benefit of the doubt when you're a good friend and therefore be likely less easily hurt.

Oh and Scott: I'd love to retain that if you could only tell me how to stay confident with myself while staying that open to people. I'm telling you..it's not easy

 

[BlahBlahNounBlah]

Ok, so its already immensely clear that the feelings of NF's are easily hurt. But since you guys are no robots, or so I've been told, I'd imagine that your feelings can get hurt too, no matter how much you try and protect them.

So the question becomes..when does someone hurt your feelings and how? Coz we're so used to NT's joking around about being touchy feely and how it does not affect them, that I sometimes wonder if it makes us sometimes too careless with your feelings.

My feelings can only be hurt by people I love.

And even then, an all-out rejection is the only thing that hurts. Rejection from someone I love hits me hard and fast ... so strongly that I can barely function. But when I recover, it's as if nothing ever happened. There's nothing I can't get over.

 

[BlahBlahNounBlah]

... But, by and large, NT's rarely have self-esteem problems.. so that trigger is usually never activated. And we tend to be guarded, so we don't let a lot of people in close enough to hurt us.

Does that seem accurate to the other NT's here?

Bingo!

 

[entropie]

So bottom line, we don't have to worry about hurting you guys, till we actually know you and even then it's not that easy. Ironically, it works the other way around for me. I'm more likely to be hurt in the beginning and way more likely to give you the benefit of the doubt when you're a good friend and therefore be likely less easily hurt.

Oh and Scott: I'd love to retain that if you could only tell me how to stay confident with myself while staying that open to people. I'm telling you..it's not easy

I guess bottom line is, you have to get to know every person in the world seperately. There is no mutual role the person could follow.

 

[BlahBlahNounBlah]

So not even an NF in full fury about the fact that you stepped on their toes with what was meant to be a playful comment, can hurt you at that moment for calling you a coldhearted, cruel person?

No.

I'd think he was overreacting, tell him he's being a drama queen, and laugh about it in my head while pretending to take his concerns seriously enough for him to stop whining so we could get back to having fun.


Adding an emoticon so no one gets hurt:

 

[Haphazard]

My memory for any feelings is that of a goldfish, so I really don't know how to respond to this question.

 

[Chris_in_Orbit]

I think a bunch of these NTs claiming not to get their feelings hurt are a bit full of it. I know too many NTs that will go ablaze with fury if you insult their competence or even hint that they might not know what they are talking about. Of course they could just be immature, who really knows.

 

[Grungemouse]

When I had a messy fall out with a close friend whom I had known for years, I could only feel embarrassment for the situation. When a teacher pulled me aside and told me I had "coursework concerns", I needed a couple of minutes alone in order to prevent him from seeing me cry.

I'm weird that way.

 

[BlahBlahNounBlah]

I think a bunch of these NTs claiming not to get their feelings hurt are a bit full of it. I know too many NTs that will go ablaze with fury if you insult their competence or even hint that they might not know what they are talking about. ...

If I'm arguing a point with someone who doesn't know what he's talking about and he has the balls to suggest that I'm wrong, I will not stop arguing until he is a tiny pile of ash on the ground.

But that doesn't hurt my feelings. As soon as he's conquered (and he will be conquered), I go back to not giving a crap.

 

[Jack Flak]

I think a bunch of these NTs claiming not to get their feelings hurt are a bit full of it. I know too many NTs that will go ablaze with fury if you insult their competence or even hint that they might not know what they are talking about. Of course they could just be immature, who really knows.

I don't know if I would define it as getting feelings hurt. More like outrage, at the notion that people are perpetually blind to reason. It's frustration, not injury.

 

[Haphazard]

Does one consider frustration hurt feelings? There's a difference of where the blame is placed. NTs never consider this kind of stuff hurt feelings, even though there may be yelling involved. It's just... different.

 

[Jack Flak]

Does one consider frustration hurt feelings? There's a difference of where the blame is placed. NTs never consider this kind of stuff hurt feelings, even though there may be yelling involved. It's just... different.

Jinx.

 

[Haphazard]

Jinx.

NO U!

 

[Chris_in_Orbit]

Does one consider frustration hurt feelings? There's a difference of where the blame is placed. NTs never consider this kind of stuff hurt feelings, even though there may be yelling involved. It's just... different.

That seems odd to me. Yelling and rage all seem like mechanisms used when you are upset (UPSET = HURT FEELINGS?!?! maybe...you tell me)

But I don't claim to understand the nt mindset at all. Probably the hardest types for me to understand actually.

 

[Chris_in_Orbit]

If I'm arguing a point with someone who doesn't know what he's talking about and he has the balls to suggest that I'm wrong, I will not stop arguing until he is a tiny pile of ash on the ground.

But that doesn't hurt my feelings. As soon as he's conquered (and he will be conquered), I go back to not giving a crap.

Lawl.

 

[BlahBlahNounBlah]

That seems odd to me. Yelling and rage all seem like mechanisms used when you are upset (UPSET = HURT FEELINGS?!?! maybe...you tell me)

But I don't claim to understand the nt mindset at all. Probably the hardest types for me to understand actually.

But when my feelings are truly hurt, I don't yell; I withdraw ... like a little kid.

An idiot can't make me feel bad about myself. I have to value the person before I can value his opinion about my character.

 

[Haphazard]

That seems odd to me. Yelling and rage all seem like mechanisms used when you are upset (UPSET = HURT FEELINGS?!?! maybe...you tell me)

But I don't claim to understand the nt mindset at all. Probably the hardest types for me to understand actually.

When the alpha is challenged and they snarl and bite and claw at the challenger, are his feelings hurt? When presidential candidates go into a frothy rage on the podium, are his feelings hurt?

 

[garbage]

That seems odd to me. Yelling and rage all seem like mechanisms used when you are upset (UPSET = HURT FEELINGS?!?! maybe...you tell me)

It's probably just forcefulness of presentation and assertiveness.