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[INTP] INTP Women!

Tallulah

Emerging
Joined
Feb 19, 2008
Messages
6,009
MBTI Type
INTP
Not to go totally girly in this thread, but Jennifer is correct on the mascara application technique, and it bears repeating that Jennifer is adorable. That is a very cute shirt!

I feel the same way, btw--clothes and makeup are purely a representation of how I feel or how I want to express myself. The minute you tell me I have to dress a certain way, I rebel like crazy.

Eh, I've come to the conclusion that I'm not very easy to try to get to know. If I'm just hanging out with you, and we click, and we're having fun, fabulous. But I tend to clam up in regular "getting to know you" sessions, and the more questions someone asks in an effort to know me, the weirder I feel. I can logically know that it's a flattering thing that someone wants to get to know me better, but being put in the spotlight and being pried open like a clam makes me feel wildly uncomfortable. Maybe it's because it feels like an unnatural, accelerated process? I feel like getting to know someone should just happen naturally, and there shouldn't be a rush. Things will come up when they come up. Being asked a bajillion questions feels not-right, because I just cannot feel obligated to spill my guts to someone I just met.
 

Kasper

Diabolical
Joined
May 30, 2008
Messages
11,590
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
the more questions someone asks in an effort to know me, the weirder I feel. I can logically know that it's a flattering thing that someone wants to get to know me better, but being put in the spotlight and being pried open like a clam makes me feel wildly uncomfortable. Maybe it's because it feels like an unnatural, accelerated process? I feel like getting to know someone should just happen naturally, and there shouldn't be a rush.

Oh hell yes! I want the chance to get to know the other person slowly, asking me too many questions results in my feeling suffocated and on guard. I'd rather have a discussion on a topic I'm interested in and learn about each other that way than a question and answer session on myself *shudder*
 

Salomé

meh
Joined
Sep 25, 2008
Messages
10,527
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Oh hell yes! I want the chance to get to know the other person slowly, asking me too many questions results in my feeling suffocated and on guard. I'd rather have a discussion on a topic I'm interested in and learn about each other that way than a question and answer session on myself *shudder*
+3

Now, if you'd just fill out this 15 page questionnaire.....
 

norepinephrine

New member
Joined
Jun 10, 2008
Messages
402
MBTI Type
INTP
I like wearing makeup, too. This may be part of the reason we INTP chicks are so elusive IRL. Some of us blend right in with the general population, and you have to talk to us to discern that we're INTP. Problem is, we hate being randomly chatted up in public. :doh:

I like makeup; I love clothing - there's so much to play with. I generally keep my makeup low-key, but I will take chances with my wardrobe. Worst case scenario, I go home and change.

And being "randomly chatted up"? Sometimes, it's OK. But if it's accompanied by the 'I'd like to take a bite out of you' stare. Uh, no.

Hmmm. Maybe I should rethink the makeup. Or the clothes.

1. Unscrew mascara lid.
2. Open mouth and eyes like a fish.
3. Stroke up, from under the lash. (If you're brave, we'll crimp ya after.)

Did I miss something?

Wipe excess mascara from the wand (depending on the brand).
 

mbeerti

New member
Joined
Dec 15, 2008
Messages
62
MBTI Type
INTP
Greetings INTP women, non INTPs (and lurkers)! Here are a few topics that have been on my mind recently. By the way, I'm pro-makeup and dressing well. But make no mistake, comfort and function are high on the priority list. Anyway...

If and only if you're an INTP WOMAN, please answer these questions (and by all means add any non-related comments/questions that come to mind):


Friends- What is your men-to-women friend ratio?

Mine is about 7:1. I have a couple close girlfriends whom I've known for years; but I rarely make a new new one. Men, on the other hand, I find much more interesting. And if they're not interesting, they're at least a good time, in that we can get together and enjoy a nice afternoon of football, beer, and banter-- minus the "fights" I unwittingly pick with women when I offend them with my "insensitive" comments/jokes.

Work/School- What do you do for a living/What degree are you pursuing? Do you have a hard time working under a *boss*?
I'll just say I have interests in logic, philosophy, world politics/monetary systems, the "justice" system, economics, things of the linguistic variety...

Dating/Relationships- Is commitment seen as an encroachment on your independence? Fear of (or at least *hang-ups* with) intimacy? Do you need to hear "I love you?"
I could write a book here. But I'll just leave it at, the majority of men I've dated have been unable to satisfy me intellectually and/or emotionally. Or, there's the commitment-happy school of men who are planning their proposal on the third date. I won't be bored and I won't be suffocated. When it comes to communicating love, to me, actions speak louder than words...



Come on Tallulah, Bluemonday, others whose names I haven't yet memorized. Disclose whatever you're willing to. Ha.
 

Tallulah

Emerging
Joined
Feb 19, 2008
Messages
6,009
MBTI Type
INTP
Friends: Probably have had more female friends overall--I do always manage to find really cool, intelligent women to hang out with, so I never had the problems some NT women have with not relating to other women. I think I tend to be a NT/NF magnet. I have had fewer, but really awesome, guy friends. Fewer, most likely because I grew up in a small, Southern town, where most of the guys were big ole rednecks. But I did manage to find good ones. My guy friends are usually the type to like intellectual pursuits and some artistic ones.

Work/school: I have a Master's degree and teach English now, but prior to that, I did my fair share of horrible office jobs, earning rent money while trying to do more artistic things. I learned pretty quickly that I cannot, CANNOT survive in a corporate, or even small-business, environment. I have always seen people as equals, and refuse to play the butt-kissing game. I always resented being asked to do menial things that didn't utilize my skills and brainpower, as well. I just basically hate everything about the office mentality. It's a very SJ environment, and it feels like the antithesis of everything I need to be happy.

Dating/Relationships: I could pretty much have written your answer, word-for-word. I really do believe in love, and hope to find the person that excites me and inspires me to devote myself. But yeah, I usually find a lot of well-meaning, perfectly nice men that I have absolutely nothing in common with, and therefore, can't get excited about. I don't have a fear of commitment, I don't think--I just haven't found the person that I really wanted to commit to. I think for INTPs, finding the right person is 100% of the battle. If you're excited about someone, you'll do what you have to to make it work.
 

mbeerti

New member
Joined
Dec 15, 2008
Messages
62
MBTI Type
INTP
Ah, you know, Tallulah!!

Work/school: .... I learned pretty quickly that I cannot, CANNOT survive in a corporate, or even small-business, environment. I have always seen people as equals, and refuse to play the butt-kissing game. I always resented being asked to do menial things that didn't utilize my skills and brainpower, as well. I just basically hate everything about the office mentality. It's a very SJ environment, and it feels like the antithesis of everything I need to be happy.

Dating/Relationships: .... I think for INTPs, finding the right person is 100% of the battle. If you're excited about someone, you'll do what you have to to make it work.

Your Work/School experience- couldn't have said it better my self. The SJ world is stifling.

Your Dating/Relationships two cents- YES. I'm kind of wading into something with an ENTJ right now. **BTW, I hate how all this categorizing of people sounds, as it tends to de-individualize, yet it's the easiest, quickest way I know to "sum" someone up to you**

P.s. My best girl friends are comprised of an ENTP, INFP, and an ENFJ.
 

Salomé

meh
Joined
Sep 25, 2008
Messages
10,527
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Friends:- What is your men-to-women friend ratio?
All my significant friendships are/have been with men. Women tend to make me nervous and stressed. I went to a girls' school too. Yeah, that was fun.

Work/school:What do you do for a living/What degree are you pursuing?
Do you have a hard time working under a *boss*?

I work in IT, occasionally. Mostly, I'm a bum.
Masters in S/W Engineering (yet to finish)
Yes. That's why I freelance. They have a harder time than I do, as a rule.

Dating/Relationships- Is commitment seen as an encroachment on your independence? Fear of (or at least *hang-ups* with) intimacy? Do you need to hear "I love you?"
I can't commit to breakfast.
:ninja:
Need, no. Appreciate? rarely.
 

mbeerti

New member
Joined
Dec 15, 2008
Messages
62
MBTI Type
INTP
What foolish things-- because I don't like the word 'mistakes'-- have you done with men? Perhaps, repeatedly...
 

Totenkindly

@.~*virinaĉo*~.@
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
50,187
MBTI Type
BELF
Enneagram
594
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Friends- What is your men-to-women friend ratio?
Right now it's higher in the "women" category... but I've noticed it changing recently and I expect it to slant much closer to 1:1 soon enough. I just am starting to find guys much more refreshing and less dramatic; you can just have a fun interesting time and not have to worry as much about the social drama.

Work/School- What do you do for a living/What degree are you pursuing? Do you have a hard time working under a *boss*?
My job title is Software Engineer (I do Crystal Reports and VB programming), although I advanced into that area from years in the technical writing field. I also do good graphic arts and technical drawing. My real interests (if I did not have to focus on money) would be more the soft but complex/intricate "sciences" that involve human behavior, culture and religious systems, etc.

I don't mind working under a boss as long as he does his job -- which means giving me the tools and encouragement I need to do MY work and otherwise staying out my way. You give me a boss who tries to micromanage me and tell me HOW and WHEN to do my job, rather than just giving me parameters and a deadline to meet, and that's a boss that will really piss me off in a very short time.

Dating/Relationships- Is commitment seen as an encroachment on your independence? Fear of (or at least *hang-ups* with) intimacy? Do you need to hear "I love you?"

I'm veering away from formalized commitment at this stage of my life. It seems like an unnecessary fetter; either you love each other or you don't, and I'm far beyond the confusion that often besets people in youth where they mistake something else for love. I know who I'm close to and who I'm not -- I know who I love and I know if they care about me -- and if I'm close to them and committed to them as a person and vice versa, I don't need to put rules around it.

I love intimacy -- I want to KNOW and experience the other person thoroughly, I don't like being locked out and kept at arm's length -- but I will not pry. If someone isn't willing to open up and include me as part of their life, I respect that even if it annoys me... but I won't hang around either. I'm looking for people who want to deeply share thoughts and feelings and who they are. Someone who wants something else can go find it for themselves.

I would only need an "I love you" as an occasional anchor -- it's just another data point. If it doesn't occur for a long time, I might start to wonder (I'm a P, everything is liable to change in life, so periodic reinforcement just to "clarify" is good), but I'm not attached to surface signs like particular phrases or items or actions or behaviors. I get a pretty good feel for someone just from being around them.
 

Kasper

Diabolical
Joined
May 30, 2008
Messages
11,590
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
Friends: My close friends are mostly females, I haven't met too many guys who are able to have a friendship without them attempting to cross boundaries, they are handy to drag along to sporting events though.

Work/school: My work is corporate, I'm the national manager in my area and am able to be somewhat autonomous, my staff have a nice dose of SJ amongst them to take care of the details so I can avoid the menial stuff that bugs me. My boss is very blunt, straight-forward and big-picture orientated and respects the same in others, this works well for me.

I've studied lots but fail at motivating myself to finish assignments so mostly do it for the knowledge, anything from IT to finance and management, just with very few pieces of paper to prove it.

Dating/Relationships: Finding the balance between an independent guy who isn't going to smother me *bleech* and someone in-touch with their emotions enough to form a connection is tough. I tend to attract lots of the smothery types :doh: I don't have any problems with commitment, I just won’t commit to something sub-standard.

"actions speak louder than words..." <-- is the key for me.
 

PureWhispers

New member
Joined
Jun 23, 2008
Messages
30
Hi everyone. I've been a lurker for a while so I'm going to just kind of jump into this thread by answering mbeerti's questions.

Friends- What is your men-to-women friend ratio?
Before college, it was always vastly more boys/men than girls/women. It started way back in elementary school when my miniature tomboyish self played video games with all the boys. Nowadays, because the gender ratio at my college is roughly 3:2 women to men, I have more female friends by far, but I still find that I get along with guys more easily in general. Go figure.

Work/School- What do you do for a living/What degree are you pursuing? Do you have a hard time working under a *boss*?
I'm notoriously lazy and haven't worked very much so far, but I'm planning on double majoring with Psychology and Japanese Language & Literature (probably; I keep being indecisive about the former of the two), although I have no idea what I'm going to do with that yet.

Dating/Relationships- Is commitment seen as an encroachment on your independence? Fear of (or at least *hang-ups* with) intimacy? Do you need to hear "I love you?"
I have no problem being committed/intimate/etc., but I do have a problem with feeling "boxed in," so I suppose it depends on the situation. As long as my need for occasional alone time is well understood, then I don't feel as though my independence is being threatened or anything of the sort.
 

Orangey

Blah
Joined
Jun 26, 2008
Messages
6,354
MBTI Type
ESTP
Enneagram
6w5
I seemed to have missed this thread in my INTj delusion.

Friends- What is your men-to-women friend ratio?
In elementary school, I had mostly male friends. That stopped halfway during middle school after my parents berated me for "always acting like a boy." At that point, I inserted myself in the background of a group of mostly emotionally damaged girls, a couple of whom turned out to be lesbians in the next few years (not that lesbians are emotionally damaged). I then abandoned all of them after high school graduation. Currently, I have about an equal male/female friend ratio.

Work/School- What do you do for a living/What degree are you pursuing? Do you have a hard time working under a *boss*?
I'm a grad student who studies rhetoric. Yes, a humanities and not a science. Not even a social science (though my undergrad was more social science oriented). So all I ever do is read, read, read. Not as fun when you HAVE to do it.

Dating/Relationships- Is commitment seen as an encroachment on your independence? Fear of (or at least *hang-ups* with) intimacy? Do you need to hear "I love you?"
I'm pretty unhealthy in this arena. I do see commitment as encroachment on my independence, and I do have hang-ups with intimacy. And no, hearing "I love you" doesn't do all that much for me, except maybe make me blush in embarrassment for your lack of creativity, and a this :doh:.

I love the lengths female INTPs go through in order to remain anonymous. One in particular wasn't featured in school year books for five consecutive years, never spoke up in class, and didn't even attend her high school graduation.

This was me, except my parents forced me to go to the graduation ceremony (and by forced, I mean threatened to withhold graduation gift, which included money and a new computer for college). I was not happy about that.
 

TPol

New member
Joined
Nov 1, 2008
Messages
110
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5sp
On the school thing, I rarely spoke, too. I would have stood out had I not gone to graduation, so I went. Funny thing happened at the 5 year reunion. One guy came up to me and said, "Wow! You were in our graduating class?! How come I don't remember seeing you? What's your name?" [My graduating class had 60 people; I'd been in his classes since 1st or 2nd grade.]

...the more questions someone asks in an effort to know me, the weirder I feel. I can logically know that it's a flattering thing that someone wants to get to know me better, but being put in the spotlight and being pried open like a clam makes me feel wildly uncomfortable...Being asked a bajillion questions feels not-right, because I just cannot feel obligated to spill my guts to someone I just met.

((nods)) Me, too. In fact, I was leery of hubby on our first date because he asked a bunch of questions. However, I suspect an INTP's idea of "a bajillion" might be a few less than others think of it. He asked me...oh, maybe...6 or 7 questions. But, they were lengthy and complicated and prying! [Ahem...Like what State I'd live in, if money and family location weren't a factor. :cheese:]


Friends- What is your men-to-women friend ratio?

When single: 80% male.
When married to ex: 5% male.
Now married to INTJ: 60% male.

Work/School- What do you do for a living/What degree are you pursuing? Do you have a hard time working under a *boss*?
Self-employed (co-owner of a couple businesses). Hope to eventually work it in to actually get paid for the art and crank up the volume of writing so get paid more for that.
I had an English major (writing) and Psychology minor for a while. Then, switched to K-8 Education Major and History minor. I didn't finish the degree.
If the boss is a jerk or a micro-manager, yes. I prefer being my own boss.

Dating/Relationships- Is commitment seen as an encroachment on your independence? Fear of (or at least *hang-ups* with) intimacy? Do you need to hear "I love you?"
Before INTJ hubby, I saw dating and relationships as a threat to my independence, yes. I wanted my freedom. INTJ and I are enough alike that I knew we'd never encroach upon each other in this manner, though.
It is special to hear "I love you" from him. I don't put much stock into when my family says it to me. There's a pretty obvious purpose behind when they say it, usually manipulative in one way or another.

What foolish things-- because I don't like the word 'mistakes'-- have you done with men? Perhaps, repeatedly...

Said "yes" to a date, for I would give anyone a first chance and saw everyone as "probably an okay individual." I wasn't desperate. Dating was, to me, just a way to hear other people's stories. It took me too long to figure out that I should have said "no" to even the first date.
 

Salomé

meh
Joined
Sep 25, 2008
Messages
10,527
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
What foolish things-- because I don't like the word 'mistakes'-- have you done with men? Perhaps, repeatedly...

Driven away/fled from the decent ones. Given the indecent ones too much of my time.
 

mbeerti

New member
Joined
Dec 15, 2008
Messages
62
MBTI Type
INTP
I'm not sure why reading all your commentary is refreshing (as it doesn't really solve anything) for me-- kind of like when NFs mindlessly tell you "don't worry, everything's going to be okay/everything works out how it's supposed to"...lol-- I guess it's just nice to hear. I'm far from a feminist but I admire strength and autonomy in women. From what you've all posted, you seem to be strong, self-motivated, and self-sufficient. I've long suspected that the INTP female was mentally/emotionally strongest of the female types (although the lady INTJ is up there!)......
 

jellyfish

New member
Joined
Feb 9, 2009
Messages
56
MBTI Type
INTP
Friends- What is your men-to-women friend ratio?
I have about as many female friends as I do male. I prefer male friends, since they seem to judge me less. It's easier to get close to females since they're less likely to think I'm persuing them romantically.

Work/School- What do you do for a living/What degree are you pursuing? Do you have a hard time working under a *boss*?
I'm not even persuing a degree yet... I'm thinking of going into psychology or neuropsychology, though. ( I do know there is difference between the two.)
I have a hard time working with a "boss" who has stupid rules that don't make a difference one way or the other. If they mark me down for not having an aesthetically pleasing essay in English class(as in, without illustrations or a special folder-like thing around it), then I'm bothered. I tend to be kind of lazy, and do homework in class or at the last minute.

Dating/Relationships- Is commitment seen as an encroachment on your independence? Fear of (or at least *hang-ups* with) intimacy? Do you need to hear "I love you?"
I have a fear of commitment... and intimacy. I've never been in a relationship where "i love you"s were exchanged, but I don't think I'd need to hear it.
I'm afraid of clingy people, and go to great lengths to not appear clingy. A lot of the time I end up making the people I like most think I dislike them, since the more I like someone the more I avoid them or act like I dislike them.
I generally haven't had much experience in this area. I'm pretty young.
 

laintpe

Summer
Joined
Dec 9, 2008
Messages
635
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
Friends- What is your men-to-women friend ratio?
I only consider two people to be friends, so 1:1. "Acquaintances"... well, it depends on the time of year... during the tennis season, more girls... outside of the tennis season, guys. I'm much more comfortable talking to guys one on one than i am talking with girls.

Work/School- What do you do for a living/What degree are you pursuing? Do you have a hard time working under a *boss*? I'm a bioengineering major. The jobs I have had outside of school are meaningless... I could care less about what the boss has/does say... plus we don't cross paths often.


Dating/Relationships- Is commitment seen as an encroachment on your independence? Fear of (or at least *hang-ups* with) intimacy? Do you need to hear "I love you?" Initially I'm really resistant and I do see it as a threat to my independence... depending on the habits of the guy. If he is restrictive and assigns "rules", I'm instantly annoyed and likely to lose interest. Intimacy isn't something I'm afraid of. I prefer those who need time to be alone and who can handle silence... and who aren't quick to become jealous.

What foolish things-- because I don't like the word 'mistakes'-- have you done with men? Perhaps, repeatedly...
ehhhhhhhhh
no
comment
 
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