[ENTP] ENTP Midlife Crisis

[ENTP2L]

I've tried several times to give reasons and I wind up feeling too shy.

Is it because we help you with the shyness? For example, the quasi-intimate, short-lived, geographically impaired "relationship" I had with an INFJ seemed to have that element. At my best friend's wedding a couple months ago, I was the best man and she was the maid of honor. The day before the wedding I asked if she was going to give a speech the next day, to which she replied "no, they (the two getting married) know how I feel and I don't feel comfortable; but you go ahead and give one if you want." I responded to this by telling her I wouldn't give one either, because I didn't want to make her feel unconfortable for not giving one. Long story short, at the wedding dinner, I really felt compelled to say something, so I whispered in her ear "just come up there with me and we'll make a joint speech; but you don't have to say anything, I'll do all of the talking." Needless to say, when we got up there she also spoke, beautifully I might add; and in all honesty, we blew the doors off the place. We had people both laughing and crying. It was quite an experience. After we sat down, she whispered back "thank you, that's what I need, someone to motivate me like that." It felt great.

anyway, is that 'a' type of influence we have?

 

[Synarch]

Is it because we help you with the shyness? For example, the quasi-intimate, short-lived, geographically impaired "relationship" I had with an INFJ seemed to have that element. At my best friend's wedding a couple months ago, I was the best man and she was the maid of honor. The day before the wedding I asked if she was going to give a speech the next day, to which she replied "no, they (the two getting married) know how I feel and I don't feel comfortable; but you go ahead and give one if you want." I responded to this by telling her I wouldn't give one either, because I didn't want to make her feel unconfortable for not giving one. Long story short, at the wedding dinner, I really felt compelled to say something, so I whispered in her ear "just come up there with me and we'll make a joint speech; but you don't have to say anything, I'll do all of the talking." Needless to say, when we got up there she also spoke, beautifully I might add; and in all honesty, we blew the doors off the place. We had people both laughing and crying. It was quite an experience. After we sat down, she whispered back "thank you, that's what I need, someone to motivate me like that." It felt great.

anyway, is that 'a' type of influence we have?

That is fucking beautiful, man. I even got a little chill. The bravery to help others be brave.

 

[SillySapienne]

Moreover, I don't think I've ever had a "calming" affect on anyone.

How very exhausting.

Midlife crisis are a myth. No one really knows when they are going to die. Unless they top themselves.

Eh, I'm not sure about that one.

You live a certain amount of years, (i.e. you reach a critical point), and then a sort of crisis ensues, I think.

You start asking yourself, what am I doing with my life, am I happy? I am going to die, give or take, within X amount of years, am I satisfied with where my life is heading, thus far?

 

[Moiety]

Eh, I'm not sure about that one.

You live a certain amount of years, (i.e. you reach a critical point), and then a sort of crisis ensues, I think.

You start asking yourself, what am I doing with my life, am I happy? I am going to die, give or take, within X amount of years, am I satisfied with where my life is heading, thus far?

I meant it as a joke. Midlife crisis implies knowing you're halfway through

 

[Jae Rae]

Is it because we help you with the shyness? For example, the quasi-intimate, short-lived, geographically impaired "relationship" I had with an INFJ seemed to have that element. At my best friend's wedding a couple months ago, I was the best man and she was the maid of honor. The day before the wedding I asked if she was going to give a speech the next day, to which she replied "no, they (the two getting married) know how I feel and I don't feel comfortable; but you go ahead and give one if you want." I responded to this by telling her I wouldn't give one either, because I didn't want to make her feel unconfortable for not giving one. Long story short, at the wedding dinner, I really felt compelled to say something, so I whispered in her ear "just come up there with me and we'll make a joint speech; but you don't have to say anything, I'll do all of the talking." Needless to say, when we got up there she also spoke, beautifully I might add; and in all honesty, we blew the doors off the place. We had people both laughing and crying. It was quite an experience. After we sat down, she whispered back "thank you, that's what I need, someone to motivate me like that." It felt great.

anyway, is that 'a' type of influence we have?

Great story. I agree, ENTPs can do that for INFJs. ENTPs are simply wonderful at being allies by standing next to you in person or in spirit.
The example you gave fits in perfectly with an experience I had.

I've spoken before about what great coaches ENTPs can be, which I base partly on a public speaking experience I had; what you've mentioned just now confirms it.

 

[Samvega]

First off let me say the thread topic hit DEAD on for me though it's more of a 1/3rd life crisis. In the last 2 years I have walked away from a corporation that was doing well, my relationship of 10 years and I've started gardening so what does that tell you!

As for the ENTP/INFJ pairing, I would very much so love to talk to an INFJ and see how we click as I feel like it would be an ideal balance of understanding and contrast. I feel like both would better and help the other without and competition.

Here's another odd thought. I made up the term pseudo-logic or synthetic-logic for NFs as they seem to somehow be able to come to very rational conclusions and avoid poor decisions based only on emotion as SFs tend to do. I've had a debates (when she wasn't running for them) with an INFP I dated for a short time she could hold her own for a short time and at that point it was like whatever she was filtering emotion with to make synthetic-logic would clog up and she would have to finish the debate the next day where as I (and NTs) can do this on the fly.

I know the same holds true for me with emotion. I have gotten quick with it but I guess I need more time to tap into that side of me and filter the logic into synthetic-emotion if you will as I can't do it on the fly with any ease. I have gotten far better but it's still not something I'm totally fluent with. Thus I have gotten in the habit of think, speak, think instead of speak, think, speak (as I do with logic) when it comes to emotion.

 

[ENTP2L]

I've spoken before about what great coaches ENTPs can be, which I base partly on a public speaking experience I had; what you've mentioned just now confirms it

It's funny too, because she does a lot of public speaking for a living. She just hates when she's not in control of the situation. Me, on the other hand......I just love to hop into a speech with little preparation and just "go." It's funny, because when I start practicing law, I really want to get into appellate work, which does, mind you, take a lot of preparation; but once you get in front of the judges, it just becomes a "give and take" type "Q & A." Which is very "appealing" (sorry, but this pun is more than necessary)

 

[ENTP2L]

Originally Posted by CaptainChick
How very exhausting.

You're telling me!!!!

 

[sculpting]

I wanted to revive this old thread a bit. Do you think this midlife crisis is the little Si that hides on the inside, suddenly becoming aware of it's surroundings?

So an ENTP might morph into a really immature Si?

 

[pecan111]

You have great insights. I hope you share more of them.

Yes, now that I think about what you wrote. Stability can be seen as death. If there is no pain, no struggle, how do you OVERCOME? How do you grow?

IN my life I have a tendency to agree that stability or NOT LEARNING is a kind of death for me. I HAD to grow and mature..if I did not I would not rest. I do think though that I have gone far enought at this time to be more still and less chaotic. synarch had it right about "stilling the mind"..HOw do you do that when its like breathing for us. For me, it was developing feeling, developing wisdom, just developing all of 'self'...adressing my spiritual needs and coming to a place of peace about God and what He is to me.

In love for example, love is either growing or diminishing. There is no real stability, more like a cycle. It is easy to see all of life in these terms, if we fail to recognize the basic variable nature of life itself. Stability, in other words, does not exist. It is all a Hericletean flux.

Again, i agree that life is not stable, but your body, mind and heart really need a rest at times. For me, it is so very nice NOT to think as much..just BE...man, it really is a blessing

For me, I have just internalized this process and have tried to become healthy by looking at it this way: maybe my real struggle is to learn to not need to struggle. To master my self by washing away by need for mastery.

Yes, struggling is necessary to learn NOT to struggle. Buddhism is really neat on this subject. I feel that God imbued us with a need to know him and if channeled well, this struggle can be a very real blessing. I have a lot more peace in and around me after some very very trying times, but now that Ifind myself more peaceful I realize how much I was struggling before..People don't know what it is, but it IS something I had to do.. There is no such thing as a Will strong enough to stop us...We HAVE to...I for one, am so grateful that I did and do struggle. Not many would have the courage to face what we face, but the payoff is INCREDIBLE!!!

 

[Qre:us]

ENTP midlife crisis?

Does it stem from the realization that we're nearing the end point and that we haven't yet accumulated all that we wanted to discover, learn, experience and know, and more and more novelties are still springing up but time is running out?

Time enough. Not enough.