[NT] Harmless banter vs seriously speaking your mind

[Salomé]

Point in case. I've seen you around the board a bit, so I've gotten used to it. But you sometimes tell someone they're annoying, lame, whatever without saying why and how they can avoid getting on your nerves in the future. It's a bit..intimidating when directed at you
Now I sorta know you're just venting about things you find annoying and you don't hold it against the person for a long time, though I'm guessing that if they constantly piss you off you will steer clear of them. I'm trying to avoid the initial confusion I felt when meeting you by trying to understand you guys

First of all. If a person annoys me that's my problem, not theirs. I'm not asking them to change, I'm just venting. Why should anyone give a damn what I think? Many people here find me irritating, does that make me want to change? Not one bit. I actually take pride in pissing off the sort of people that annoy me.

What I was doing here was not venting, it was self-parody. I thought that was obvious...

 

[Amargith]

First of all. If a person annoys me that's my problem, not theirs. I'm not asking them to change, I'm just venting. Why should anyone give a damn what I think? Many people here find me irritating, does that make me want to change? Not one bit. I actually take pride in pissing off the sort of people that annoy me.

What I was doing here was not venting, it was self-parody. I thought that was obvious...

I get that, but I found it handy to use as an example in order to make a point And I do appreciate that you are able to do that, I really do. So tell me when you do use critiscism or feedback from others? When do you take it on board?

 

[Salomé]

So tell me when you do use critiscism or feedback from others? When do you take it on board?

If it ever happens, I'll let you know.

 

[Amargith]

If it ever happens, I'll let you know.

LOL, please do. But seriously, don't you feel you're too subjective to be able to judge what parts of your personality and life you want to improve? And considering the fact that you do enjoy giving feedback yourself...don't you want certain people to take it on board and do something with it?

 

[Salomé]

LOL, please do. But seriously, don't you feel you're too subjective to be able to judge what parts of your personality and life you want to improve?

I don't even see how that is possible, since it's a completely subjective assessment. And if I don't know, who the hell will?

And considering the fact that you do enjoy giving feedback yourself...don't you want certain people to take it on board and do something with it?

Who says I enjoy giving feedback? Sometimes I just give into my Fe, which is a mean sonofabitch.

No, I don't want to change anyone. I'm not a fan of Pygmalion Projects. I don't have enough certainty to decide what is the "right" or "wrong" way to be. Live and let live, blah. I'd rather change myself or get the hell away from whatever is pissing me off. I attack arguments, not people.

 

[Virtual ghost]

Look at it this way, NTs are rational if you behave quite irrational they will be annoyed by your actions. But if you act more normally (which is logical ) they will never have any real problems with you.

When you talk to INTs don't talk too much and don't insist on creating a emotional connection. Females that are trying to know more about your feelings are genarally quite boring. Not intimidating just boring.

 

[Simplexity]

Who says I enjoy giving feedback? Sometimes I just give into my Fe, which is a mean sonofabitch.

No, I don't want to change anyone. I'm not a fan of Pygmalion Projects. I don't have enough certainty to decide what is the "right" or "wrong" way to be. Live and let live, blah. I'd rather change myself or get the hell away from whatever is pissing me off. I attack arguments, not people.

Will you make an exception and attack me.

 

[Salomé]

Look at it this way, NTs are rational if you behave quite irrational they will be annoyed by your actions. But if you act more normally (which is logical ) they will never have any real problems with you.

It's irrational to state that a minority population is "normal".

Ergo, you are annoying me.

 

[Salomé]

Will you make an exception and attack me.

I tried to attack you viciously in PM just yesterday. But alas...

 

[Simplexity]

I tried to attack you viciously in PM just yesterday. But alas...

Ohh blue. you know just how to make a guy's heart melt.

 

[nozflubber]

Bluemonday is SO obvious.... indeed.

 

[Virtual ghost]

It's irrational to state that a minority population is "normal".

Don't you think that word "normal" is subjective enough that it can be used like this?

 

[Amargith]

 

[Salomé]

Ohh blue. you know just how to make a guy's heart melt.

Fuck off

Bluemonday is SO obvious.... indeed.

Fuck off

Don't you think that word normal is subjective enough that it can be used like this?

No. Fuck off

You can just fuck off too,

 

[nozflubber]

Wanna play warcraft?

 

[Amargith]

When you talk to INTs don't talk too much and don't insist on creating a emotional connection. Females that are trying to know more about your feelings are genarally quite boring. Not intimidating just boring.

I disagree with you on that You might feel that way, but I tend to get along with several male INTX as I love some brains in a man, and somehow they do not seem to mind my company at all although my primary language is feeling, and my main goal is to establish an emotional connection with the other person. But I'll take your input under advisement when dealing with you

 

[Ezion]

It depends. I'm inclined to crack jokes at others expense, but only towards those I know well, and I generally follow it up with some sort of statement that implies I'm just kidding around, or express it outright.

It really depends on the NT in question. Some of the underdeveloped introverts may appear extremely abrasive, which may or may not be intentional. Either way, I wouldn't take it personally, as it disarms the comment (regardless of whether or not it was personal).

Myself, I never intentionally personally target someone with malicious intent. One of the logical justifications is as follows.
1a. From a functional point of view, people are resources for knowledge, understanding, and accomplishing goals.
1b. Alienating people through hostile actions generally causes them to withdraw and makes them less inclined to provide you with the resource you desire.
2. Therefore, maliciously targetting people reduces your available resources.

That is from a purely logical and functional standpoint. From an emotional standpoint, targetting someone tends to create a lot of negative emotions, which over time can lead to an emotional situation that I have a hard time dealing with.

 

[Virtual ghost]

I disagree with you on that You might feel that way, but I tend to get along with several male INTX as I love some brains in a man, and somehow they do not seem to mind my company at all although my primary language is feeling, and my main goal is to establish an emotional connection with the other person. But I'll take your input under advisement when dealing with you

Aren't we talking about first impressions here?

I think you took my words too personally. I was talking about what could happen with INTxs as a group.

I have said "your feelings" in general I was not talking about myself but I know that INTx could have problems with this.

This is exactly why you can end up hurt.
You take things on presonal level too seriously.




I will tell you a story.

Some time ago, some very far relatives came to visit.

When they left my father said to me "In the case that I don't know you your whole life I would have said that you have truly enjoyed this. Your acting skills are really good ."

Because of impersonal nature I had to develope this skill for my own good and good of others.

 

[Amargith]

Aren't we talking about first impressions here?

I think you took my words too personally. I was talking about what could happen with INTxs as a group.

I have said "your feelings" in general I was not talking about myself but I know that INTx could have problems with this.

This is exactly why you can end up hurt.
You take things on presonal level too seriously.

I will tell you a story.

Some time ago, some very far relatives came to visit.

When they left my father said to me "In the case that I don't know you your whole life I would have said that you have truly enjoyed this. Your acting skills are really good ."

Because of impersonal nature I had to develope this skill for my own good and good of others.

Hehe, well I didn't really think INTx congregated in group, other than online
And the reason I take things personal is because I tend to cut the small talk and go straight for actually getting to know the person. And yes, it might be why sometimes I get hurt. It's also very rewarding when that connection does happen though. However, if that connection isn't there, I tend to disconnect myself unless I really do find them interesting. At this point I do not do the 'feeling'-thing though, just the curiosity-thing.

Like you, I do do the small talk when forced into it, but generally it bores me. I prefer a more personal one-on-one with a person though, or a good banter session in group (a chance to be silly is always fun), but that's it. Hence first encounters try my patience often, till I can figure out when it is safe to banter or get more personal. I guess what I'm looking for with this thread is a way to cut through all the small talk and get to the good stuff

 

[Virtual ghost]

Hehe, well I didn't really think INTx congregated in group, other than online
And the reason I take things personal is because I tend to cut the small talk and go straight for actually getting to know the person. And yes, it might be why sometimes I get hurt. It's also very rewarding when that connection does happen though. However, if that connection isn't there, I tend to disconnect myself unless I really do find them interesting. At this point I do not do the 'feeling'-thing though, just the curiosity-thing.

Like you, I do do the small talk when forced into it, but generally it bores me. I prefer a more personal one-on-one with a person though, or a good banter session in group (a chance to be silly is always fun), but that's it. Hence first encounters try my patience often, till I can figure out when it is safe to banter or get more personal. I guess what I'm looking for with this thread is a way to cut through all the small talk and get to the good stuff

I was saying what could happen with you and INTx group.

One question
Why placing imperative on connection with other people by a so large degree?