KLessard
Aspiring Troens Ridder
- Joined
- Apr 25, 2008
- Messages
- 595
- MBTI Type
- INFJ
- Enneagram
- 1w2
I recently read in D. Keirsey's Please understand me that NTs really dislike public display of affection (even though I'm not sure what he exactly means by "affection").
That puzzled me a bit about an INTP friend and I happened to ask an INTX colleague about this. He said he didn't dislike affection but wasn't too good at being affectionate himself.
In my experience with this INTP, she seems pretty stiff if I give her a hug and doesn't say much when I tell her I appreciate her in a way or another, but I feel like she's uneasy about it because she doesn't know what to do rather than because she dislikes it. Often, after I've expressed my affection, she won't answer, but will say something nice later. Many days later, sometimes. Most of the times, it has to be read between the lines (very much between the lines). Also, her body language seems to speak too; a slight smile or silent, wide-opened eyes generally follow such moments. I also notice that the event that bound us as friends and led her to open up to me was a moment when I expressed my compassion to her because she was sick.
An ENTP friend told me she will often react coldly to something touching like this, but that afterwards, when she is alone, she'll think about it and feel emotional. "We are very sensitive deep inside," she said.
Sometimes, I'd really like to give my friend a hug because I'm glad to see her, but I don't dare to because of how strange she reacts to it.
That puzzled me a bit about an INTP friend and I happened to ask an INTX colleague about this. He said he didn't dislike affection but wasn't too good at being affectionate himself.
In my experience with this INTP, she seems pretty stiff if I give her a hug and doesn't say much when I tell her I appreciate her in a way or another, but I feel like she's uneasy about it because she doesn't know what to do rather than because she dislikes it. Often, after I've expressed my affection, she won't answer, but will say something nice later. Many days later, sometimes. Most of the times, it has to be read between the lines (very much between the lines). Also, her body language seems to speak too; a slight smile or silent, wide-opened eyes generally follow such moments. I also notice that the event that bound us as friends and led her to open up to me was a moment when I expressed my compassion to her because she was sick.
An ENTP friend told me she will often react coldly to something touching like this, but that afterwards, when she is alone, she'll think about it and feel emotional. "We are very sensitive deep inside," she said.
Sometimes, I'd really like to give my friend a hug because I'm glad to see her, but I don't dare to because of how strange she reacts to it.
Yeah, a whole family would be something to see. I've always wanted to see my friend's family, but never had the occasion. I think they are three NTs in that bunch by the way she talks about them. Her dad is an architect and very NT-like (I've met him once). Her little brother might sound like one too, although he might be SP, I find them similar sometimes. Her sister and mother are probably NFs or SJs. She says her mother is very religious so that might mean NF if she believes from the heart, or SJ if she kind of does it out of tradition and duty. Can't tell. But she is not alone as INTP.
