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[ENTJ] Are ENTJs manipulative?

MoneyTick

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I have been told this a few times ... but in all reality I never thought of myself as manipulative at all.

However, I have been told and would consider myself an extremely persuasive person.
 

guesswho

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saying that ENTJs are manipulative is a generalization.
 

mellanae

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I'm manipulative to a certain extent.
The only other ENTJ I know is my friend's dad, but I couldn't really say; I don't know him THAT well.
So, sometimes?
 

Ace_

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saying that ENTJs are manipulative is a generalization.

Obviously. And forums like this one are full of those generalizations and prejudice. It's kind of sad how some people simplify the world up to a disgusting point.
 
F

figsfiggyfigs

Guest
Obviously. And forums like this one are full of those generalizations and prejudice. It's kind of sad how some people simplify the world up to a disgusting point.
Oh get over it. It's a forum about Personality TYPES. People are going to make generalizations... :emot-emo:
 

INTPness

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I always thought of "manipulative" as having a negative connotation, kind of the ability to get someone to do something s/he will probably regret later which s/he wouldn't normally do without your urging. Essentially controlling others for ulterior motives.

Haven't read through the whole thread, so maybe this was mentioned but my experience is that ENTJ's are "very good" at the bolded part. I wouldn't say it's always something that the person will "regret later" (that's why I didn't bold that part), but convincing people to do something that they wouldn't normally do - yes.

I have an ENTJ friend who will "suggest" that something be done and he'll keep on suggesting it until someone finally does it. And every time, someone ends up doing it. It's almost like he can get anything done that he wants if he just keeps suggesting it. He started a group that has meetings and after a few times of holding the group at the same place, he started saying, "I'd really like to start holding the meetings at other places. Like, a park, a restaurant, or even your guys' houses. We could alternate having it at each other's houses."

First time he mentioned it, everyone just shrugged - presumably because nobody wanted to do it. Then the next meeting, he said the same thing. Nobody volunteered. Next meeting: "What do you guys think about the idea of opening up our homes to hold this meeting?" Everyone else: "Meh. Yeah, good idea, but...." Nobody volunteered. Next meeting: "So, where would you guys like to have this meeting at next week? Anyone want to volunteer to host?"

And then, out of the stillness in the air (and the uncomfortableness), someone goes, "OK, yeah, I can do it." Several weeks later, the group has every member hosting the group in turn.

With him, he doesn't do it in a "mean way". You don't feel like he's pwning you, but you end up looking back and thinking, "Wait, how did he get me to host this meeting at my place? 4 weeks ago, I told myself that I wasn't going to host at all. Now, he's got me hosting once a month." It's like he just keeps throwing it out there (whatever he wants to happen) until it finally becomes reality. You don't really feel like you got "forced", but afterwards, you kind of do sometimes. And if it is something you regret, then it almost feels like buyer's remorse. You get talked into buying that awesome car or product and when you get home you go, "Why in the world did I agree to that? I didn't even want to do it!" That's kind of how it was for me hosting the group. I didn't feel forced, but later I was like, "What the???"
 

nozflubber

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yeah they are - or since they're being so SENSITIVE about it *chuckle*, let's say "they can be". but the good news is, they aren't very good or subtle at it. Its usually very transparent what they are after because they are so used to wearing their intentions on their sleeves.
 

animenagai

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Manipulative is the wrong word, it has the wrong connotations. Bossy and in charge, yes, manipulative sounds a bit more sly and subtle.
 

Idontcare

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I would say some are and some aren't. My sister in an entj and she isnt.... at all. I also have a "friend" who is an entj and he is extremely manipulative (and a huge douche bag)
 

Wrath Mania

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No. Generally they don't possess the tools to be manipulative. That is to say, when an ENTJ is trying to be manipulative, they're the only ones who think they're being subtle.

Of course, I might just be saying this because it's obvious to me, a fellow NT...
 

MoneyTick

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After asking a few people I just found out that I was the most manipulative person they've ever met.

I had no idea of this whatsoever. And I though it was laid back .. WOW
 

INTPness

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After asking a few people I just found out that I was the most manipulative person they've ever met.

I had no idea of this whatsoever. And I though it was laid back .. WOW

:yim_rolling_on_the_ Ignorance was bliss.
 

MoneyTick

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:yim_rolling_on_the_ Ignorance was bliss.

On an good note, at least I'll have a good chance to make a fortune selling fresh snow to an Eskimo. Or just persuade the owner of TypologyCentral to sell me the forum and own this place haha
 

bcubchgo

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I think that when backed into a corner or on the verge of losing something important, yes, we can be manipulative. Especially emotionally - which is odd because it's not what we want to be at all. It's kind of a last resort when we feel we have no other options. Other than that, if someone is becoming a barrier to something I'm interested in accomplishing I will simply either circumvent them or find some other way to get to where i want to go. That's probably why most of the time I'm "doing it myself" - that way I don't *have* to include anyone on the decision. It just gets done. I think that most of the time we are too busy externally rationalizing our decisions with people (to make them accomplish what we think are logical goals) to be surreptitious.
 
F

figsfiggyfigs

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After asking a few people I just found out that I was the most manipulative person they've ever met.

I had no idea of this whatsoever. And I though it was laid back .. WOW

After reading your post. I went up to my mother and asked her the same question,

My Mom does this :nice: and says " First Class"

..... maybe it's a type thing. If we don't even notice when we're being manipulative, imagine when we actually do, how obvious it is to everyone else around us... :unsure:
 

MoneyTick

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OHH MY!!! LOL

I was over my parents house a few days ago and they were actually the first people I asked!

I asked them about my childhood ...

My mom said I was the cutest cold-hearted baby she'd ever seen.

My dad said I was always full of shit when I was a teenager, but somehow I had this supernatural skill to extract anything I ever wanted out of them.

He said I'd probably end up being a shrewd businessman one day and I'd be reaping millions of dollars but I'd never be able to experience the company of good friends or true love.

And I though I was a good boy that never did anything wrong!

I never though of myself being manipulative, just extremely persuasive.

Do you ENTJs out there think likewise? Are your persuasion and debating skills viewed by others as a manipulation tactic?
 
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