[INTJ] INTJ's and Online Dating Sites

[runvardh]

Yeah I guess thats about right. People who fall straight into 'infatuation' with someone they've just met and start making all these plans without knowing them at all kind of weirds me out.

I prefer to pick on a few interesting points then talk to see what happens. Fantasizing about the future is better done when the girl's going to be moving in or has my ring on her finger.

 

[Kasper]

it is "so obvious" there. What I mean is..People go there on Purpose to find Love and that isn't such a good Idea, since true Love mostly happens "unexpected".
IDK, many People in there are also very dishonest and look for Sex only. I am not a Fan of it.

Pretty much my take, it seems too manufactured to me. That said I know people that have found exactly what they were looking for through one, none of them were NTs though *shrug*

 

[01011010]

If the people are actually honest about who they are and their traits, it could weed out a bunch of people you'd never have any interest in. Therefore, saving time. As for the MBTI disclaimer, I don't know if that's necessary.

 

[ed111]

INTJ's need friends who like to play match-maker.

Amen to that!

 

[Economica]

Are these really a good option for an INTJ?

Yes and no, IMO.

Yes, because I think the written medium is a good one for getting to know an INTJ, and believe it or not, there are plenty of both men and women out there who appreciate INTJs romantically once they've gotten to know us ; the tricky part is getting picked up by their radar in the first place.

This isn't quite a dating site success story, but an INTJ in my acquaintance became a veritable ladykiller partly on account of his active participation on a mailing list that went out to 100+ people in our subculture. The mailing list hosted a lot of, uh, spirited conversation , and the written medium and slow pace of communication were perfect for demonstrating his unshakeable alpha male strength (calling things as he saw them and remaining calm in the face of aggressive disagreement), his stimulating intellect and his understated humor. I myself have enjoyed the feedback I've gotten from some of the gentlemen of MBTIc despite the fact that I've never posted a picture.

No, because we aren't likely to meet the right people on dating sites. However, this argument is contingent on my personal experience that ENXPs are the best romantic matches for us, so if you're an INTJ who is absolutely hell-bent on dating other Introverts, by all means, hook up online.

 

[Misty_Mountain_Rose]

Yes and no, IMO.

Yes, because I think the written medium is a good one for getting to know an INTJ, and believe it or not, there are plenty of both men and women out there who appreciate INTJs romantically once they've gotten to know us ; the tricky part is getting picked up by their radar in the first place.

This isn't quite a dating site success story, but an INTJ in my acquaintance became a veritable ladykiller partly on account of his active participation on a mailing list that went out to 100+ people in our subculture. The mailing list hosted a lot of, uh, spirited conversation , and the written medium and slow pace of communication were perfect for demonstrating his unshakeable alpha male strength (calling things as he saw them and remaining calm in the face of aggressive disagreement), his stimulating intellect and his understated humor. I myself have enjoyed the feedback I've gotten from some of the gentlemen of MBTIc despite the fact that I've never posted a picture.

No, because we aren't likely to meet the right people on dating sites. However, this argument is contingent on my personal experience that ENXPs are the best romantic matches for us, so if you're an INTJ who is absolutely hell-bent on dating other Introverts, by all means, hook up online.

Extroverts scare me. All the ones I've dated would become increasingly frustrated by my contentment with staying at home when they wanted to go out and do something... ANYTHING.

 

[Economica]

Extroverts scare me. All the ones I've dated would become increasingly frustrated by my contentment with staying at home when they wanted to go out and do something... ANYTHING.

Have you tried ENXPs? Their flexibility and weakness for Ni conversation make them amenable to staying in with you more often than they probably should.

In all seriousness, this is a real potential problem area in E(P)/I(J) relationships. I'd totally write more about it, but uh, I'm off to meet a fellow Ni dominant at a snazzy bar/restaurant. - I swear we'll both be doing our best to tune out our surroundings.

 

[BDCal]

Find an ENFP

Ok so, I'm currently on this dating site, right? Why do I feel the overpowering urge to put a disclaimer at the top of my profile that says 'I'm an INTJ' lol

Do these sites really work? Especially for an INTJ, where the length of time it takes to get to know someone tends to be very long, but the expectation on the site is to 'find that right person, right now'.

Are these really a good option for an INTJ?

I would suggest blowing off the dating services and finding an ENFP. I have had two ENFPs in my life, and they have both blown my socks off. It's an incredible match. It was only much later that I read with great interest in Keirsey's Please Understand Me II, that ENFPs were the best mating match for an INTJ. My current ENFP wife of 10 years continually fascinates me, and keeps my life interesting. She is the spark that I sometimes lack, or at least, don't always know how to initiate. We can talk, still, for hours and hours and often have to set a bedtime time limit so we don't end up talking until 2:00 am _again_. I would encourage you to find a copy of Keirsey's book if you don't already have one and read all about INTJs and ENFP, and the mating section, then cut to the chase. I'm brand new to this site, but would assume you could post some exploratory emails on the NF pages.....

 

[SillySapienne]

I would suggest blowing off the dating services and finding an ENFP. I have had two ENFPs in my life, and they have both blown my socks off. It's an incredible match. My current ENFP wife of 10 years continually fascinates me, and keeps my life interesting. She is the spark that I sometimes lack, or at least, don't always know how to initiate. We can talk, still, for hours and hours and often have to set a bedtime time limit so we don't end up talking until 2:00 am _again

Wow, that sounds fucking awesome, and it also gives me hope!!

 

[Lauren Ashley]

Do these sites really work? Especially for an INTJ, where the length of time it takes to get to know someone tends to be very long, but the expectation on the site is to 'find that right person, right now'.

Are these really a good option for an INTJ?

My female INTJ acquaintance met her boyfriend on an online dating site. It seemed to work because in real life she is misunderstood plus she doesn't engage with people very often, only on a superficial basis, so her options were limited. Online those barriers didn't exist so it was easier for her to get to know her boyfriend and vice versa.

 

[The Ü™]

What I find is that on the free online dating sites, people never try to contact me or wink at me, and in almost all cases, they have ignored my messages I sent to them -- Plentyoffish.com and OKCupid, for example.

On the ones you have to pay for full access, like True.com, I get so many winks, most of which I guess are spam.

It's sort of strange that all of that shit happens on a dating site you have to pay for rather than a free site.

 

[1ENTPhere]

I am an ENTP-T and have found online dating sites a poor place to find conversation or connection. If all you're looking for is a little fun then you should have no problem.