[INTJ] Have you ever been stalked by an INTJ / INTJs have you ever stalked someone

[cafe]

Stalking, research, tomato, tomahto. It's all the same...

For example, I could "research" a particularly gorgeous ass...and find out all there is to know about this person with the gorgeous ass...

Thanks a lot. Now I'm hungry for tomatoes.

And leave Faith alone!

 

[heart]

I am an INTP, and sometimes I have used my uncanny Internet powers to find out things about individuals of whom I am extremely curious...

(Does that count as stalking? I never intended to do anything or meet them personally, I just wanted to understand them and know them better.)

Anyone who posts a public page should be aware that anyone can access it. Everything we post online can be searched via search engine. Every time a troll has shown up on a message board, I have seen the people on that board immediately do searches for info on the troll.

I don't see how this could ever be considered stalking. To me stalking means invading someone's privacy or private space. Maybe I have that wrong? If so, there are a whole lot of people out there who are stalkers!

 

[rivercrow]

Anyone who posts a public page should be aware that anyone can access it. Everything we post online can be searched via search engine. Every time a troll has shown up on a message board, I have seen the people on that board immediately do searches for info on the troll.

I don't see how this could ever be considered stalking. To me stalking means invading someone's privacy or private space. Maybe I have that wrong? If so, there are a whole lot of people out there who are stalkers!

I had an INTJ ex-boyfriend track me for 20 years, though both of us got married in the time frame. He'd pop up every 4-5 years via email, letter, phone, etc. The last time, he commented about the doings of my parents and complained about not being able to find pictures of me.

That constitutes stalking to me. That's one reason why I suggested we consider length of time. Twenty years is a bit excessive.

Having people read my websites -- that's not stalking.

 

[Geoff]

I've been stalked by an INTJ, online. It was quite unpleasant.

 

[Natrushka]

Now I'm curious about the one "other" reply; Entropy, were you stalked by someone other than an INTJ?

 

[Lookin4theBestNU]

I was stalked by a very clever, determined bi-polar NT (though not sure of the variant honestly) for over 3 years in person. I still received calls (around 6 years) when my number which has been changed a few times gets found. Rivercrow wins the longest time award which doesn't bother me a bit! I think I am on the safe side now though it's been over a year(I moved several states away)! This was not a simple "internet stalking". Oh no, it was an "I am going to wait outside your house for 3 hours in the snow until you show up to talk to you" type thing. I was awakened a couple of times to gentle tapping on my window, peering eyes looking in (for how long who knows?) to "talk" at 2 am. There are lots of creepy stories that I don't have time to post right now! Anyway, I actually had to go to the police eventually and that's how it stopped. I feared for my life (this is not an exaggeration) on more then a few occasions. I read in PUMII that NTs were not in the least possessive and I thought HA! that's a lie. Maybe it was the mental issues though that were not apparent from the very beginning. There is nothing like being told in an icy cold, serious way: "We connected once on a level that I have never known with another person. I know you don't feel that way anymore but I believe you could if you tried. Regardless I never intend to willingly just let you go." I immediately checked the locks on the car door trying to escape after those words were uttered! Anyway it was not flattering or fun.

 

[rivercrow]

I have a good friend who is an INTJ who also stalked a girl for 20 years. I found that out when I was trying to decide how to handle my own INTJ-stalker problem. We had a series of interesting conversations....

Here's my theory.

For some INTJs, their ability to envision a certain future becomes a trap. They stop taking in additional information about external realities and move toward their ideal future. Modifications may emerge -- maybe a love relationship is downgraded to a friendship -- but the main vision remains as a goal. ("External realities" include statements like "My husband doesn't like you calling." I also got a variant of L4TBNU's ' "There is nothing like being told in an icy cold, serious way: "We connected once on a level that I have never known with another person. I know you don't feel that way anymore but I believe you could if you tried. Regardless I never intend to willingly just let you go." ')

I have suspicions about what may cause the longer obsessions, based on observations and discussions, but it's not simply a type matter. Possibly we could discuss enneagram in conjunction, or maybe we need to wander farther afield.

 

[raincrow007]

Here's my theory.

For some INTJs, their ability to envision a certain future becomes a trap. They stop taking in additional information about external realities and move toward their ideal future. Modifications may emerge -- maybe a love relationship is downgraded to a friendship -- but the main vision remains as a goal. ("External realities" include statements like "My husband doesn't like you calling." I also got a variant of L4TBNU's ' "There is nothing like being told in an icy cold, serious way: "We connected once on a level that I have never known with another person. I know you don't feel that way anymore but I believe you could if you tried. Regardless I never intend to willingly just let you go." ')

I have suspicions about what may cause the longer obsessions, based on observations and discussions, but it's not simply a type matter. Possibly we could discuss enneagram in conjunction, or maybe we need to wander farther afield.

Agreed. My still current INTJ stalker of 3+ years exhibits much of this behavior. Although heavily introverted, he will still tune out the "external reality" of my complete and merciless evisceration of him verbally in public. At full volume.

I mean what kind of person [introvert OR extrovert] would still stick around an individual after she's brought a jammed pub to a standstill by yelling, "Would you ever go and FUCK OFF, you persistent pervert?! I'm NEVER going to fuck you, date you, marry you, or have your children!!!" One would think that's a pretty clear signal.

But no. He'll get rather quiet and say something like, "raincrow, I don't know why you have to be so DIFFICULT. I'm only trying to be nice here; the least you could do is manage to be polite..."

 

[rivercrow]

I mean what kind of person [introvert OR extrovert] would still stick around an individual after she's brought a jammed pub to a standstill by yelling, "Would you ever go and FUCK OFF, you persistent pervert?! I'm NEVER going to fuck you, date you, marry you, or have your children!!!" One would think that's a pretty clear signal.

Only if this is not the way one speaks normally. Otherwise....

But no. He'll get rather quiet and say something like, "raincrow, I don't know why you have to be so DIFFICULT. I'm only trying to be nice here; the least you could do is manage to be polite..."

Yeppers. I got that too. Man-howdy. :steam:

Fortunately, I did finally devise a way to get rid of mine. It wasn't pretty or painless, but it (appears to have*) worked. :SaiyanSmilie_anim:


*I'll have to wait for 5 years to be sure.

 

[Totenkindly]

I mean what kind of person [introvert OR extrovert] would still stick around an individual after she's brought a jammed pub to a standstill by yelling, "Would you ever go and FUCK OFF, you persistent pervert?! I'm NEVER going to fuck you, date you, marry you, or have your children!!!" One would think that's a pretty clear signal.

GWB is still in Iraq too.
Some people don't get the message even when reality screams in their faces.

(I wish I had been there at your pub -- it sounds like it was quite a scene! )

So do people think there's a standard stalker mentality, or are there categorizable differences for:

- A woman stalking a man
- A man stalking a woman
- A woman stalking a woman
- A man stalking a man
- Any other unexpected gender/sex twist imaginable?

Do males who are stalked react differently than females? And vice versa? And why? And so on...?

Fortunately, I did finally devise a way to get rid of mine. It wasn't pretty or painless, but it (appears to have*) worked.

You're still shuttling those small packages up to the bay, aren't you?

 

[rivercrow]

GWB is still in Iraq too.
Some people don't get the message even when reality screams in their faces.

(I wish I had been there at your pub -- it sounds like it was quite a scene! )

No need to go to a pub. You just have to be at a wedding across the street from 'er.

So do people think there's a standard stalker mentality, or are there categorizable differences for:

- A woman stalking a man
- A man stalking a woman
- A woman stalking a woman
- A man stalking a man
- Any other unexpected gender/sex twist imaginable?

There you go -- fixating on gender/sex again.

 

[Totenkindly]

There you go -- fixating on gender/sex again.

Dang. And I have no clue why.

 

[Haight]

The title question is a trap . . . isn't it?

You guys must think I'm stupid or something.

 

[raincrow007]

Only if this is not the way one speaks normally. Otherwise....

Bah. I'm actually more prone to moody silences rather than shouting obscenities when in public, despite what you might think. I just have a low threshold for idiots, especially when it involves CONSTANTLY having to repeat myself to get my point across.

No need to go to a pub. You just have to be at a wedding across the street from 'er.

Hey, that was legit usage of colorful vernacular!

 

[raincrow007]

(I wish I had been there at your pub -- it sounds like it was quite a scene! )

Probably not as big a scene as you might imagine. When shouting involving profanity happens in pubs, most people react in a similar fashion to witnessing a horrible wreck on the interstate -- slow down, gawk, and then keep on moving.

Although, I will say the 5 to 10 seconds of stunned silence seemed like an eternity to me...

 

[digesthisickness]

regarding the OP, let's just say that i wrote a rather long post, then thought more about it and decided life would just be easier if i deleted it.

i found this page which i think is very interesting and informative.

 

[Geoff]

Great link, thankyou.

 

[digesthisickness]

welcome.

i wanted to post a lot of the especially interesting things, but it won't let me. probably some INTJ behind the scenes.

 

[rivercrow]

welcome.

i wanted to post a lot of the especially interesting things, but it won't let me. probably some INTJ behind the scenes.

It's the problem with the curly quotes.

Well, it might be Haight's fault. I'll let you take that up with him, though. I wash my hands of that.

 

[digesthisickness]

It's the problem with the curly quotes.

Well, it might be Haight's fault. I'll let you take that up with him, though. I wash my hands of that.

it did it in a short PM earlier too, so it must be haight.

pfft. figures. it's always haight.