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[INTP] Impostor syndrome

Morpheus

New member
Joined
Jan 9, 2019
Messages
33
MBTI Type
INTP
I'm an INTP. I know it since 2014, since then I tried various types of tests, people helped me to type myself so many times, I think my results in every kind of test is 97% INTP. Because I've done a lot, not only online automatic tests but Type Me posts too.

But I just can't trust my results.

It happens for two reasons:

1- I do have my own system of morals.

Justice is something important to me, as is acting right with other. This is my moral code, being impartial and acting right. And by acting right I mean not f*ucking with other people to gain some kind of advantage. Like, yesterday I was watching Looking For Alaska cause my gf asked me to(it's really boring) and there is a part in the first episode that some guys almost drowned the main character in a lake. The entire episode was like "meh" but this one scene has put me on rage mode and I began to think that if it was me there I would break their legs while they're sleeping... But then I realized that I would get caught and started to try to think of some life theatening revenge I could do without geeting caught.


2 - I was really idealistic and dreamy between my childhood till like 17, 18yo.

Although I'm not like this anymore, I'm really unsure if it means I'm INTP. When I was a kid I daydreamed all the time and when I was like 17, 18 years i just wanted to pursue a career that I loved like illustration. I knew it would be hard and I took a long time searching for a good reason, a good excuse to pursue it. I eventually gave up since I could not find one and realized I was searching so hard that I didn't even liked drawing anymore lol.

I'm 24yo now, nowadays I'm much more realistic and pragmatic. And see things just as they are, not as being good or bad(actually I never cared to see things as good or bad). I try to ignore my desires and do what needs to be done. But one thing I cannot ignore is this impostor feeling that I have when someone types me as INTP.

At least one INTP trait I'm sure that i have: I like to be 100% sure of things before I act.
 

Maou

Mythos
Joined
Jun 20, 2018
Messages
6,117
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Have you considered an Enneagram 1 type with your INTP type?

MBTI = Functions, and how your brain is built.
Enneagram = the motivation, or programs that you run.

Part of the reason I typed as E1 and INTP, is because of reasons just like you have listed above. Idealistic, principles etc till a certain age. I was artistic, and also sought to better my environment through virtue and action. I am a defeated idealist. I tend to often get typed as INTJ. So just try to see it as an outlier in a group that's already an outlier.
 

Peter Deadpan

phallus impudicus
Joined
Dec 14, 2016
Messages
8,883
You read like a 6:
- "people helped me to type myself so many times"
Pattern of repeatedly deferring to external sources of authority.
- "but I just can't trust my results"
Lack of trust, discomfort with certainty.
- "but then I realized I would get caught"
Hyper-awareness of consequences (and authority by default).
- "I took a long time searching for a good reason, a good excuse to pursue it"
Points to attachment style of thinking, feeling like you need an acceptable reason to justify your decisions.
- "(I) see things just as they are, not as being good or bad (actually I never cared to see things as good or bad)"
Ambivalence.
- "I try to ignore my desires and do what needs to be done"
6s have a split from their feeling center (heart type) and action center (gut type), so their thoughts are often not in line with their feelings or actions in a moment, which results in hesitation or dutifulness.
- "I like to be 100% sure of things before I act"
This may as well be the e6 motto. I'm guessing this makes it difficult for you to act in a moment at times, or at least causes doubt and anxiety after decision making.

You have essentially described exactly what an ennea-type 6 is, and in your own words even.
 

Morpheus

New member
Joined
Jan 9, 2019
Messages
33
MBTI Type
INTP
Have you considered an Enneagram 1 type with your INTP type?

MBTI = Functions, and how your brain is built.
Enneagram = the motivation, or programs that you run.

Part of the reason I typed as E1 and INTP, is because of reasons just like you have listed above. Idealistic, principles etc till a certain age. I was artistic, and also sought to better my environment through virtue and action. I am a defeated idealist. I tend to often get typed as INTJ. So just try to see it as an outlier in a group that's already an outlier.

And

You read like a 6:
- "people helped me to type myself so many times"
Pattern of repeatedly deferring to external sources of authority.
- "but I just can't trust my results"
Lack of trust, discomfort with certainty.
- "but then I realized I would get caught"
Hyper-awareness of consequences (and authority by default).
- "I took a long time searching for a good reason, a good excuse to pursue it"
Points to attachment style of thinking, feeling like you need an acceptable reason to justify your decisions.
- "(I) see things just as they are, not as being good or bad (actually I never cared to see things as good or bad)"
Ambivalence.
- "I try to ignore my desires and do what needs to be done"
6s have a split from their feeling center (heart type) and action center (gut type), so their thoughts are often not in line with their feelings or actions in a moment, which results in hesitation or dutifulness.
- "I like to be 100% sure of things before I act"
This may as well be the e6 motto. I'm guessing this makes it difficult for you to act in a moment at times, or at least causes doubt and anxiety after decision making.

You have essentially described exactly what an ennea-type 6 is, and in your own words even.

I had to take a while searching Enneagram cause I don't know much about it. It's interesting 'cause there is some aspects of each type that I can identify with, so I've got confused for a while.

There is a web site, that I like that contains lots of tests that I find interesting, including one on Enneagram.

Rowe Enneagram Test

This one test was really interesting for me cause it had some nice questions, instead of asking for behaviors, they asked about my common limiting thoughts and fears and life strategies to problem solve. As I said, I'm in this search for self-knowledge since 2014, so I know myself pretty well now.

So, I can say for sure that I'm not a type 1. All 1 fears and objectivities don't compact with me.

And I really identified with type 6 but there was still something left. And I knew what it was. The fact is that I usually look for people to confirm my ideas. But first I need time alone developing the idea, I never ask something for others without having an idea of what the answer will be, it's just to confirm that I'm right.

That said, with my results in sakinorva: 5w6 so/sp.

I never really tried too much Enneagram before and my lack of knowledge and in self-knowledge probably made me mistype myself(4w5). But making this test and reading about 5w6 made me identify so much that it put me at ease.
 
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