[INTJ] INTJ Game Frustration

[Misty_Mountain_Rose]

As an INTJ, do you find that you cannot stand to be around people who won't say what is on their mind? People who manipulate to get what they want or who get mad at you but won't tell you they are mad?

I tend to be pretty blunt and will tell people when I'm irritated and will voice my opinion on a topic when they ask... but it seems that everyone I talk to has some 'plan' to one-up someone else or get their own way at something, or they just won't speak up even though I know they have something to say. :steam:

I think most of my frustration in a day comes from these kinds of things. Why does everyone have to be so darned ... complicated!

I wish I could sit everyone in my office down and go:

"She doesn't like you because you X"
"He thinks you're an idiot, but he won't tell you because he needs you"
"You know that staff meeting we had? There's more to that than you think."
"You don't need to 'get back at her' for what she said... No. You really don't. Let it go"

Etc etc etc.

Do you ever feel the overpowering urge to just tell everyone all the things you know in one big free-for-all because EVERYONE confides in you? I think clearing the air would be much better for everyone involved.

/rant off

 

[lkpo14]

listen Gandalf im not an INTJ, but i tell people the truth aswell- because i dont care.. but i will lie too, not to keep from hurting them, but to get what i want.
about manipulate- i do it when i want to get something out of it..
about saying the truth all the time- forget about it, it will never happen..lying is what makes the world tik..
but then again im not an INTJ..

 

[Haphazard]

Do you ever feel the overpowering urge to just tell everyone all the things you know in one big free-for-all because EVERYONE confides in you? I think clearing the air would be much better for everyone involved.

Yes.

Well, at least when things start to get tangled. Otherwise, I don't really have an urge to say anything when people confide in me.

 

[runvardh]

So what would you recommend for someone who thinks an idea is stupid, but is unsure why. Is it good to speak up anyway, even though they're still trying to think it through first?

 

[Uytuun]

So what would you recommend for someone who thinks an idea is stupid, but is unsure why.

You're asking INTJs.

Seriously, I'd give them some time. Unless you think it'll be seriously negative. Maybe if they're willing to work with you you can figure out what's wrong or it'll turn out that your fear was unfounded.

 

[nightning]

So what would you recommend for someone who thinks an idea is stupid, but is unsure why. Is it good to speak up anyway, even though they're still trying to think it through first?

I'll bring it up if it feels very wrong... then spend some time trying to figure out why it felt wrong. But I'm barely a T.

 

[runvardh]

You're asking INTJs.

Presicely why I asked the question.

Seriously, I'd give them some time. Unless you think it'll be seriously negative. Maybe if they're willing to work with you you can figure out what's wrong or it'll turn out that your fear was unfounded.

If they're willing to work with me. Then again, I haven't had one prevent me from having time to think about things.

I'll bring it up if it feels very wrong... then spend some time trying to figure out why it felt wrong. But I'm barely a T.

So I guess say what's going on in my head, period, and hope it's taken right...

 

[Maabus1999]

As an INTJ, do you find that you cannot stand to be around people who won't say what is on their mind? People who manipulate to get what they want or who get mad at you but won't tell you they are mad?

I tend to be pretty blunt and will tell people when I'm irritated and will voice my opinion on a topic when they ask... but it seems that everyone I talk to has some 'plan' to one-up someone else or get their own way at something, or they just won't speak up even though I know they have something to say. :steam:

I think most of my frustration in a day comes from these kinds of things. Why does everyone have to be so darned ... complicated!

I wish I could sit everyone in my office down and go:

"She doesn't like you because you X"
"He thinks you're an idiot, but he won't tell you because he needs you"
"You know that staff meeting we had? There's more to that than you think."
"You don't need to 'get back at her' for what she said... No. You really don't. Let it go"

Etc etc etc.

Do you ever feel the overpowering urge to just tell everyone all the things you know in one big free-for-all because EVERYONE confides in you? I think clearing the air would be much better for everyone involved.

/rant off

Yes it does, and sometimes I do say whats on my mind. Every time the results end badly, even if I use the most careful use of tact to explain something on my mind. Always fun when an ENFP sorta tells you to f--- off in their way when you tell them something (even carefully and stressting nothing personal) that you have an issue with. My mind boggles over people. I do find ISTJ's like this bluntness though...

 

[Provoker]

I don't keep any close friends, I don't keep any dark secrets. I just tell everybody everything. That's all.

 

[plaguerat]

So what would you recommend for someone who thinks an idea is stupid, but is unsure why. Is it good to speak up anyway, even though they're still trying to think it through first?

actually, I'd say no. Unless you can back it up with some semblance of a thought pattern, you'll only annoy us by being all "feely" (it happens alot with a friend, I know what you mean with the not being able to explain it part.) Its not alltogether a bad thing, its just annoying as hell to an INTJ.

I'm blunt with most people. For those fragile enough that if and/or when I'd tell them something I think they need to hear, however, I usually don't until I can judge they are ready. Its actually not that I care particularly for their feelings or their opinion of me afterwards, its more out of respect I have for the power I hold over their minds.

 

[Kalach]

Do you ever feel the overpowering urge to just tell everyone all the things you know in one big free-for-all because EVERYONE confides in you? I think clearing the air would be much better for everyone involved.

Sort of. I like occasionally delivering everything I know about someone to that person, so long as I can do it at the start of the conversation and do it in one short sentence. Chips fall where they may. I do however usually reserve that for stuff that *I* think, but I guess sometimes I'll use it for getting rid of gossip too. But I usually don't know too much of teh Goss.

So what would you recommend for someone who thinks an idea is stupid, but is unsure why. Is it good to speak up anyway, even though they're still trying to think it through first?

Go for it.

But you're on the clock as soon as you start speaking.

And chips falling where they may is sometimes a very good thing.

 

[htb]

I thought this was a discussion of INTJs becoming flustered, then sullen, when they bowl a few gutterballs in a row (which is a documented phenomenon).

Ingratiation and unction seem to be forms of manipulation supported by Fe.

 

[Ulaes]

As an INTJ, do you find that you cannot stand to be around people who won't say what is on their mind? People who manipulate to get what they want or who get mad at you but won't tell you they are mad?

I tend to be pretty blunt and will tell people when I'm irritated and will voice my opinion on a topic when they ask... but it seems that everyone I talk to has some 'plan' to one-up someone else or get their own way at something, or they just won't speak up even though I know they have something to say. :steam:

I think most of my frustration in a day comes from these kinds of things. Why does everyone have to be so darned ... complicated!

I wish I could sit everyone in my office down and go:

"She doesn't like you because you X"
"He thinks you're an idiot, but he won't tell you because he needs you"
"You know that staff meeting we had? There's more to that than you think."
"You don't need to 'get back at her' for what she said... No. You really don't. Let it go"

Etc etc etc.

Do you ever feel the overpowering urge to just tell everyone all the things you know in one big free-for-all because EVERYONE confides in you? I think clearing the air would be much better for everyone involved.

/rant off

my _ntj dad is pretty damn honest, often he makes enemies because he is (usually)correct and irrerevernt in what he says . we'll think the same things but it wont occur to me to speak them. in this way its good to have him around because he'll verbalise a thought that went through my head and suddenly the world around me becomes clearer and less muddied by other peoples confused opinions.
looking at his example develope a little more E to get it this stuff off your chest. it may prevent the stroke that was going to hit you in 20 yrs time but it may put you in the cross hairs of people you've shamed.